How To Make Amends After Forgetting A Wedding Invite

Wedding planning can be stressful, and with so much to do, it's easy to forget to invite certain people. If you've forgotten to invite someone to your wedding, there are a few things you can do to handle the situation gracefully. Firstly, don't panic and try to be prepared with extra invitations. It's best to send out the invitation as soon as possible and be honest about the oversight. You can also include a personal note or give them a call to express your embarrassment and apologise for the mistake. If the wedding is fast approaching, it's recommended to pick up the phone and call the guest rather than sending a text or email, as this could come across as impersonal or cowardly. You can also include them in pre-wedding festivities, such as a rehearsal dinner, to make them feel included.

Be honest and apologise

It is easy to forget to invite someone to your wedding, especially with all the stress and chaos of wedding planning. When this happens, it is best to be honest and apologise. Here are some tips on how to do this:

Firstly, don't panic! It is important to be honest and take responsibility for your mistake. Send the invite as soon as possible and include a handwritten note or give them a call to apologise for the oversight. You could say something like: "I just realised that you were left off our wedding guest list. I wanted to call you immediately and ask you to please forgive me for my mistake. I would love it if you could attend our wedding." It is better to call than to send a text or email, as this could come across as impersonal or cowardly.

If you have done engagement photos, include one with the invitation as a nice touch. You may also want to include them in some of the pre-wedding festivities, such as the rehearsal dinner or a pre-wedding brunch, so they feel like part of the celebration even if they can't attend the ceremony.

If you realise your mistake after the wedding, reach out to the person as soon as possible. Be honest, apologise, and let them know you would love to talk. Set up a phone or video call if they are available, or send a handwritten letter if not. You can also invite them to any post-wedding celebrations, such as a family brunch, to make up for their absence at the wedding.

Send a handwritten letter

Wedding planning can be stressful, and it's easy to forget to invite someone. If you've forgotten to invite someone to your wedding, one way to handle the situation is to send a handwritten letter. Here are some tips on how to do this:

Be Honest and Take Responsibility

It's important to be honest and take responsibility for your mistake. In your letter, explain what happened honestly and sincerely. Own up to the fact that you forgot to send them an invitation and apologise for the oversight. Be sure to express how much you value them and how much you would love for them to attend your wedding.

Include a Personal Note and a Photo

Consider including a personal note or letter with the invitation. Explain that you would love for them to be a part of your special day. If you have done engagement photos, include one as a nice touch. This will show that you care and that you genuinely want them to be a part of your celebration.

Send the Invitation as Soon as Possible

Don't delay in sending the invitation. The sooner you can get it in the mail, the better. This will help to ensure that your guest has enough time to clear their schedule and make any necessary travel arrangements. It will also help to avoid any suspicion that they were an afterthought or on a "B-list".

Consider Including Them in Pre-Wedding Festivities

If possible, try to include the forgotten guest in some of the festivities leading up to the wedding, such as the rehearsal dinner or a pre-wedding brunch. This will help them feel included and valued, even if they are unable to attend the actual wedding ceremony.

Follow Up with a Phone Call or Email

After sending the invitation and handwritten letter, consider following up with a phone call or email. This will give you an opportunity to express your apologies again and emphasise how much you would like them to attend. It also allows your guest to ask any questions they may have and gives you a chance to answer them directly.

Remember, your guests are your friends and family, and they will likely understand the stress of wedding planning. Be honest, sincere, and timely in your communication, and they will likely appreciate your efforts to include them in your special day.

Invite them to pre-wedding celebrations

If you've forgotten to invite someone to your wedding, you could consider inviting them to pre-wedding celebrations. This is a great way to include them in the festivities without having to alter your original wedding guest list. Here are some ideas for pre-wedding celebrations that you can invite your forgotten guests to:

Engagement Party

An engagement party is a celebration of your engagement and a perfect opportunity to gather your loved ones to announce your upcoming nuptials. It is usually held about three months after the engagement, with invitations sent out at least a month in advance. While there are no hard rules, it is often best to schedule it soon after the proposal to share your excitement and show off your new ring. Traditionally, it is hosted by one of the families of the couple or close relatives and friends. The guest list typically includes close family members and friends, and anyone invited to the engagement party will expect an invitation to the wedding. So, if you've forgotten to invite someone to your wedding, including them in your engagement party is a great way to involve them in the celebrations.

Bridal Shower

A bridal shower is a more intimate gathering that usually takes place a few weeks to three months before the wedding. It is traditionally an all-female celebration to honour the bride, with games, meals, and gift-opening. However, nowadays, couples may opt for a co-ed bridal shower, where both spouses-to-be are feted. The guest list typically includes close friends, family members, and members of the wedding party. As the bridal shower occurs before the final stages of wedding planning, it provides an excellent opportunity to include someone you may have forgotten to invite to the wedding.

Bachelor/Bachelorette Party

The bachelor/bachelorette party is a celebration for the bride or groom to gather with their closest friends and wedding party members to let loose before the wedding. It usually takes place about one to four months before the wedding and can be a single night or a weekend trip. The guest list typically includes the wedding party, close friends, and sometimes siblings of the future spouse. If you've forgotten to invite someone to your wedding, including them in your bachelor/bachelorette party plans can be a fun way to involve them in the pre-wedding festivities.

Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner is usually the final celebration before the wedding, taking place the night before or a few days earlier. It is a more laid-back event that brings together the couple's nearest and dearest for dinner, drinks, and toasts. The guest list includes the wedding party, their significant others, close family members, and sometimes the officiant. Including forgotten guests in the rehearsal dinner is a considerate way to involve them in the celebrations without altering your original wedding plans.

Other Pre-Wedding Celebrations

There are also other pre-wedding celebrations, such as the bridesmaid luncheon, welcome party (for destination weddings), and cultural celebrations like the mehndi or sangeet in South Asian weddings. These events provide additional opportunities to include forgotten guests and ensure they feel valued and involved in your special day.

Call them up

If you've forgotten to invite someone to your wedding, the best course of action is to pick up the phone and call them. This is especially important if you've realised your mistake close to the wedding date. Sending a text, email, or even worse, trying to slide it into conversation during an unrelated call, will come across as impersonal and insensitive. Wedding planner Amy Shey Jacobs warns that "a text is so impersonal and your guest will know that they are an afterthought".

National etiquette expert Diane Gottsman advises expressing your embarrassment and saying something like:

> "I just realised that you were inadvertently left off our wedding guest list. I was stunned and wanted to call you immediately and ask you to please forgive me for my unintentional blunder. I started to get suspicious that something was awry when I didn't see your RSVP. I made a quick review of the guest list and realised my slip-up. Please accept my sincere apology. I certainly hope you are free to attend."

Chances are, your friend or family member will appreciate the call, and your honesty, regardless of whether they can make it or not.

If you're not close to the person, it might be best to let it go. As one commenter on a wedding forum says:

> "If you forget about adding people to your guest list, then they are not really that close of friends to begin with."

However, if you do want to invite them, it's best to be honest. One person on a wedding forum says:

> "Be honest. Mail the invitation, but also give them a call... You didn't mean to forget them."

Send a belated invite

If you've forgotten to invite someone to your wedding, it's best to send a belated invitation as soon as possible. Here are some tips to help you navigate this situation:

Be Honest and Take Responsibility

Rather than trying to cover up your mistake with excuses, it's best to be honest and take responsibility for the oversight. Send the invitation as soon as you realise your mistake and consider including a handwritten note or give them a call to apologise for the delay. Explain that you would love for them to attend your wedding and are hopeful that they can make it. This approach will make your guest feel valued and appreciated.

Include a Personal Note and a Photo

Consider including a personalised note with the invitation, expressing your regret for the oversight and your sincere hope that they can attend. If you have engagement photos, including one with the invitation is a thoughtful touch. This will show that you value your relationship and want to share this special moment with them.

Invite Them to Pre-Wedding Festivities

To make up for the late invitation, consider inviting your guest to other wedding-related events, such as the rehearsal dinner or a pre-wedding brunch. This will help them feel included and give them a chance to be part of the celebrations even if they can't attend the actual wedding ceremony.

Give Them a Call

If the wedding is fast approaching, consider picking up the phone and giving your guest a call. A personal phone call is more thoughtful than a text or email and shows that you value their presence at your wedding. Explain the situation and express your embarrassment and sincere apologies for the oversight. Be understanding if they are unable to attend due to the short notice.

Have Extra Invitations on Hand

To avoid this situation altogether, it's a good idea to have extra invitations on hand. This way, if you do forget to invite someone or need to invite new people, you can simply send out an extra invitation without having to reorder and wait for additional shipping.

Remember, wedding planning can be stressful, and mistakes happen. Your guests will likely understand, especially if you are honest and take responsibility for the oversight.

Frequently asked questions