Deborah Chan
Wedding toasts are an integral part of a couple's big day, giving guests an insight into the couple and their relationship. While there is no set time for wedding toasts, there are several options for when to schedule them. Some couples opt for toasts during cocktail hour, allowing guests to relax and mingle for the rest of the night. Others prefer to have toasts after the first course or after dinner, ensuring guests are fed and happy. To maintain a smooth flow, some couples choose to have toasts before dinner or 20-30 minutes into the meal. For a more casual approach, toasts can be made during dinner or used as a kickoff for another event, such as cake cutting or the first dance. Ultimately, the choice of timing depends on the couple's preference and the desired flow of the reception.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of toasts | No more than four |
| Length of toasts | A few minutes |
| Timing | Before, during or after dinner, or at cocktail hour |
| Order of speakers | Father of the bride, best man, maid of honour, mothers of the bride and groom |
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What You'll Learn
Toasts during cocktail hour
If you're planning a more casual event, rather than a seated dinner, consider allowing guests to arrive, get a drink, and something to eat, and then grab their attention for the toasts. This way, the speeches are delivered early, and your guests can then enjoy the rest of the night without the formality of speeches hanging over them. It's a good idea to let your venue know ahead of time when you plan to do the toasts, so they can plan their break schedule accordingly.
It's also worth noting that, traditionally, toasts are made with champagne to cleanse the palate, and so they often follow the meal. However, if you're serving cocktails, this could be a fun alternative to the traditional champagne toast.
To keep the reception flowing, it's a good idea to keep the toasts short and sweet, and to limit the number of speakers. A good rule of thumb is to keep the entire speech portion of the reception to 20 minutes maximum, and to divide that time between the different speakers. It's also a good idea to know in advance who will be speaking and in what order, so that those not on the list don't feel the need to make impromptu speeches.
Finally, toasts can be a great way to kick off another event, such as the first dance or cake cutting, so consider using them as a natural transition into the next part of the evening.
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Toasts before dinner
Timing is Everything
It's important to consider the timing of your toasts to ensure they fit seamlessly into your reception timeline. Some couples choose to have toasts before dinner to capture their guests' attention while they are seated and waiting for their meal. This can be a great way to engage your guests and create a relaxed atmosphere before the meal is served.
Keep Them Short and Sweet
Regardless of when you choose to have your toasts, it's essential to keep them concise and meaningful. A good rule of thumb is to limit wedding toasts to a few minutes or even a few lines. This ensures that your guests remain engaged and that the toasts don't disrupt the flow of your reception. You don't want your guests to feel like the toasts are dragging on, especially if they are hungry and waiting for dinner!
Order of Speakers
Decide in advance who will be speaking and in what order. Traditionally, the father of the bride speaks first, followed by the groom's father, best man, and maid of honour. However, you can also include mothers of the bride and groom, the bride and groom themselves, and even close loved ones or children. Just be mindful of the total number of speakers and the length of their toasts to keep things running smoothly.
Rehearsal Dinner Toasts
If you're having a rehearsal dinner, this can be a great opportunity for longer toasts and stories about the happy couple. The host, usually the groom's father, gives the first toast during the main course, and it's often followed by a return toast from the father of the bride. This intimate setting allows for more extensive and sentimental speeches without disrupting the flow of the actual reception.
Casual Wedding Toasts
If you're having a more casual wedding, consider having your toasts during cocktail hour. This way, your guests can enjoy their signature cocktails while listening to the toasts, and then everyone can relax and mingle for the rest of the night. It's a great way to capture your guests' attention early on and set the tone for a fun and laid-back reception.
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Toasts during dinner
Timing of Toasts During Dinner
The timing of the toasts during dinner is important to ensure a smooth flow for the rest of the reception. It is recommended to start the toasts after the first course or about 20-30 minutes into dinner. This way, guests have something to eat and are more settled, creating a captive audience. However, some couples prefer to have the toasts before dinner to avoid making guests wait for their meal. If you choose this option, consider providing appetizers or an antipasto platter to satisfy hunger while guests listen to the speeches.
Number of Toasts and Length
Keep in mind that the toasts should not be too long to avoid disrupting the flow of the reception. Aim for no more than four speeches, and each speech should be brief, lasting only a few minutes. This will ensure that the total speech portion of the reception does not exceed 20 minutes.
Order of Toasts
The traditional order of wedding toasts typically starts with the father of the bride, followed by the best man, maid of honor, and other close loved ones such as the mothers of the bride and groom. However, it is becoming increasingly common for the bride and groom themselves to give a toast, especially if they are hosting the event. It is essential to decide the order of speakers in advance and inform those who are not on the list to check with the couple before making impromptu speeches.
Content of Toasts
When it comes to the content of the toasts, sincerity is key. Short and sweet speeches that come from the heart are always a good choice. Share anecdotes and relevant stories about the couple, but avoid unnecessary childhood tales. Prepare the speeches ahead of time, but it is also acceptable to refer to notes during the toast.
Toasts as a "Kickoff"
Consider using the last toast as a natural transition to announce the first dance or cake cutting. This will keep the party moving and create a seamless flow from one event to the next.
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Toasts after dinner
There are a few ways to approach this. One option is to begin the toasts about 30 minutes into dinner. This way, guests can enjoy their meal while listening to the speeches and save time by combining the two events. Another approach is to wait until after the meal, ensuring guests are not forced to sit through the speeches on an empty stomach. A third option is to serve an antipasto platter or hors d'oeuvres before the meal and then start the toasts, so guests can snack and listen at the same time.
It is generally recommended to keep the total number of speeches to a maximum of four, with each lasting only a few minutes. This ensures the speeches do not drag on and cut into other parts of the reception, such as the first dance and cake cutting. The father of the bride typically speaks first, followed by the groom, and then the best man, with the maid of honour also becoming more common.
The wedding toasts are a chance for the couple to thank their guests for attending and for the guests to share anecdotes and well-wishes for the couple. It is a good idea to decide in advance who will speak and in what order, and to prepare the speeches ahead of time, keeping them short and sincere.
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Toasts after cake cutting
Toasts are an integral part of a couple's wedding day and can be done at various times during the reception. One option is to have the toasts after cake cutting. This makes sense as most guests quiet down for the cake-cutting ceremony, and the emcee can conveniently announce the toast at this time.
If you're planning a casual wedding, having the toasts during cocktail hour is a great way to capture your guests' attention. They can then relax and mingle for the rest of the reception. Alternatively, if you want to get the toasts out of the way early, you can have them right after your grand entrance and before dinner. This way, the speakers can enjoy the rest of the evening stress-free, and the toasts can set the tone for the rest of the night.
If you're having a plated dinner, it's best to wait until the salads are served to begin the toasts. For a buffet, wait until everyone has been seated and has a plate of food. This ensures that all your guests are settled and have something to eat while they listen to the speeches.
Regardless of when you choose to have the toasts, it's important to consider the flow of your wedding and what will work best for you and your guests. You don't want your guests milling around, being ordered to move from one area to another.
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Frequently asked questions
There are several options for when to do toasts at a wedding. For a casual wedding, cocktail hour is a great time for toasts as it captures guests' attention and then they can relax and mingle for the rest of the reception. Alternatively, you can do toasts before dinner, during dinner, or after dinner.
The best man’s toast is typically the only speech made, but it is becoming more common for the maid of honor to also give a speech. The fathers of the bride and groom often say a few words, especially if they are hosting the wedding. The mothers of the bride and groom may also give a speech.
Wedding speeches should be short and sweet and not take more than a few minutes. A good rule of thumb is to keep the entire speech portion of the reception to a maximum of 20 minutes.
Wedding speeches should be sincere and prepared ahead of time. It is best to stick to relevant anecdotes and skip pointless stories about the couple’s childhoods.
