Junior Rasmussen
Music is an integral part of any wedding, and choosing the right songs for key moments can be a fun but challenging task. For LGBTQ+ couples, finding the perfect song for their first dance and other special moments can be even more difficult, as many songs are written from a cis-het perspective. However, there are plenty of gender-neutral songs that can be perfect for LGBTQ+ weddings, whether they are slow and romantic or more upbeat and unconventional. In addition to the couple's chosen songs, background music is essential to creating the right atmosphere during different parts of the wedding, such as the prelude and processional.
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What You'll Learn
Gender-neutral songs
Music is an integral part of a wedding, from the prelude to the post-ceremony celebrations. When it comes to gay weddings, finding the right songs that steer clear of gender stereotypes and assumptions can be a challenge. Here are some suggestions for gender-neutral songs that are perfect for two grooms entering their wedding ceremony:
"A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri
This song is mentioned by a few sources as a tear-jerker, and it seems to be a popular choice for LGBTQIA+ weddings. While it does mention "men" in the lyrics, it can be interpreted in an abstract form.
"Still the One" by Shania Twain
Recommended by LGBTQ+ singer Thomas William Melling, this song is a great choice with universal appeal.
"I Was Married" by Tegan and Sara
This song is suggested for the processional, when the grooms and their attendants enter the ceremony space.
"At Last"
Covered by the Vitamin String Quartet in "The Gay Wedding Collection," this song is a romantic choice, with lyrics like "At last/The skies above are blue/My heart was wrapped up in clover/The night I looked at you."
"You're the One That I Want" from Grease
This classic love song from the musical Grease is a fun, upbeat choice. The lyrics proclaim that "you're the one that I want," a perfect message for two grooms starting their married life together.
"Your Song" by Elton John
A heartfelt and romantic choice, with lyrics like "I hope you don't mind/I hope you don't mind/That I put down in words/How wonderful life is while you're in the world."
"Perfect Day" by Lou Reed
A song about spending a perfect day with your loved one, this choice will leave you and your partner feeling warm and fuzzy.
"Make You Feel My Love" by Adele
Adele's soulful cover of Bob Dylan's original is a popular choice for weddings, with its powerful message of unwavering love and support.
"Marry You" by Bruno Mars
A fun, upbeat choice, this song celebrates the joy of finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.
"Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars
Another one by Bruno Mars, this song is a sweet serenade to a partner, celebrating them just as they are.
"You Are the Best Thing" by Ray LaMontagne
With its simple, heartfelt lyrics, this song is a beautiful declaration of love and appreciation.
"All of Me" by John Legend
A romantic ballad, this song is a popular choice for weddings, with its message of unconditional love and acceptance.
"La Vie en Rose" by Louis Armstrong
This classic French song, meaning "Life in Pink," is a whimsical and romantic choice, celebrating the beauty of love and the one you cherish.
"They" by Jenn Decilveo
This song is a powerful celebration of gender-neutral love, with the pronoun "they" taking centre stage.
"She Keeps Me Warm" by Mary Lambert
A beautiful, soft ballad, this song speaks of finding comfort and warmth in the arms of the one you love.
"This I Promise You" by *NSYNC
A nostalgic choice, this boyband classic is a sweet pledge of commitment and everlasting love.
"Marry Me" by Train
With its heartfelt lyrics and upbeat melody, this song is a joyful celebration of love and commitment.
"Same Love" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
This song is an anthemic celebration of LGBTQ+ love and equality, with a featuring verse by Mary Lambert.
"Love Wins" by Carrie Underwood
A powerful and uplifting choice, this song affirms that "love wins in the end" and celebrates the triumph of love over adversity.
"Best Day of My Life" by American Authors
An upbeat and joyful choice, this song is a celebration of finding the one who makes every day feel like the best day of your life.
"You Make My Dreams Come True" by Hall & Oates
With its catchy melody and joyful lyrics, this classic choice is a fun way to express how your partner makes your dreams come true.
Remember, the most important thing is to choose songs that resonate with you and your partner. Whether you opt for romantic ballads, fun pop tunes, or something entirely unique, make sure the music reflects your style as a couple and expresses your tastes. Congratulations, and happy planning!
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Songs for the prelude
The prelude is the music that plays as your wedding guests are being seated, either by escort or on their own. It's the perfect opportunity to set the tone for your wedding and get your guests excited for the celebrations ahead. Here are some ideas for songs to include in your prelude:
Upbeat and Fun Options:
- "You're the One That I Want" from Grease: This classic song from the musical Grease is a fun and upbeat way to kick off your wedding celebrations. It's all about celebrating the one you love, making it perfect for your big day.
- "Marry You" by Bruno Mars: With a title like that, this song is an obvious choice for a wedding prelude! It's got a fun, playful vibe that will put a smile on your guests' faces.
- "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by The Proclaimers: This energetic song is a passionate declaration of devotion, perfect for a couple who are deeply in love and want to share their joy with their guests.
Romantic and Sentimental Options:
- "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri: This romantic ballad is all about a love that spans a thousand years, making it perfect for a wedding prelude. It will set a dreamy, romantic tone for your ceremony.
- "At Last" by Etta James: This classic love song is a beautiful choice for your prelude, with lyrics that speak of finally finding the one you love. It's a timeless way to celebrate your union.
- "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran: With lyrics like "Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms", this song captures the intimate, loving atmosphere of a wedding and is a great choice for the prelude.
Remember, the prelude is all about setting the mood, so choose songs that reflect your style as a couple and the overall vibe you want for your wedding. Whether you prefer upbeat and fun or romantic and sentimental, there are plenty of options to choose from!
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Songs for the processional
Music is a crucial part of any wedding, and it can be a fun but challenging task to create the perfect playlist for your big day. The processional is an important part of the ceremony, and the music chosen for this moment should reflect the joy and love of the couple.
For LGBTQ+ couples, it can be tricky to find songs that do not heavily reference gender stereotypes, as many songs are written from a cis-heteronormative perspective. However, there are some beautiful and fun options to consider for the processional.
"Canon in D Major" by Pachelbel is a classic choice for the processional, with its elegant and grand melody. "All of You" by John Legend is another lovely option, with its romantic lyrics and upbeat tempo. "I Was Married" by Tegan and Sara is a perfect choice for a gay wedding, with its celebratory and joyful lyrics. "Air on the G String" by Bach is a beautiful, elegant choice, and "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri is a romantic, sweeping option. "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley is a classic, and its lyrics of love and celebration are perfect for a wedding. "La Vie en Rose" by Andrea Bocelli is a romantic, uplifting choice that will fill the room with joy.
Some couples may prefer to opt for instrumental versions of songs, or songs without lyrics, to create a certain atmosphere. The Vitamin String Quartet's "The Gay Wedding Collection" is a great choice, with string covers of popular songs like "Your Song", "At Last", and "Like A Prayer".
Ultimately, the processional music should reflect the couple's unique style and taste. Whether it's a slow and romantic ballad or an upbeat, fun tune, the music should set the tone for the rest of the wedding and create lasting memories.
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Queer love songs
Music is an integral part of a wedding, from the prelude to the post-ceremony celebrations. For LGBTQ+ couples, finding the perfect song can be challenging due to the prevalence of gender stereotypes and heteronormativity in popular music. However, there is a growing number of openly LGBTQ+ artists who are creating music that celebrates queer love in all its forms.
Processional Music
The processional music sets the tone for the ceremony as the wedding party and couple make their entrance. Some LGBTQ+-friendly options for this moment include:
- "Canon in D Major" (Pachelbel)
- "All of You" (John Legend)
- "I Was Married" by Tegan and Sara
- "Air on the G String" (Bach)
- "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri
- "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley
- "La Vie en Rose" by Andrea Bocelli
First Dance Songs
The first dance is a special moment for the newlyweds, and finding a song that reflects their love story can be challenging for LGBTQ+ couples due to the lack of gender-neutral pronouns in traditional love songs. Some modern songs that use gender-neutral pronouns include:
- "Still the One" by Shania Twain
- "Kerosene" by Joesef
- "Cherry" by Rina Sawayama
- "If U Think About Me" by Kim Petras
- "Make Me Feel" by Janelle Monae
- "Cupid" by Ryan Beatty
- "Tongue" by MNEK
Other Romantic Queer Love Songs
- "You Should've Asked Me" by Hayley Kiyoko
- "Forrest Gump" by Frank Ocean
- "Rainbow" by Kesha
- "Universal Love" album, which features classics re-recorded from a queer couple's point of view
Live Band vs. DJ
When it comes to creating the right atmosphere at your wedding, you can choose between hiring a live band or a DJ. Live bands offer a rich, spontaneous vibe and can adjust the tempo with different sets, from jazzy cocktail music to upbeat dance tunes. However, they may be more expensive and have a limited repertoire. On the other hand, a DJ can provide more variety and play the original artist's version of songs.
Whatever music you choose, the most important thing is that it reflects your unique love story and creates memories that will last a lifetime.
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LGBTQ+ artists
King Princess
The song "1950" by King Princess is a slow and romantic tune that can be perfect for a first dance as a married couple. The lyrics "Let's stop running from love, running from love/Let's stop, my baby (my baby)/Let's stop running from us, running from us/Let's stop, my baby" capture the sentiment of embracing love and can set a heartfelt tone for the grooms' entrance.
Troye Sivan
Troye Sivan's "My! My! My!" is an upbeat love song with a good beat and a message of devotion. This song can bring energy and joy to the grooms' entrance, celebrating their love and the start of their married life together.
Muna and Phoebe Bridgers
"Silk Chiffon" by Muna and Phoebe Bridgers is a joyful and uplifting song about new love. With lyrics like "Baby, why don't you come over?/Red wine supernova, falling into me/Let's pick it up now/I don't care that you're a stoner/Red wine supernova, fall right into me," it can be a fun and lighthearted choice for the grooms' entrance, setting a cheerful tone for the celebration.
Chappell Roan
Chappell Roan's songs, including "Silk Chiffon," are sapphic anthems that celebrate queer love. Their music can be a wonderful choice for LGBTQ+ weddings, providing a contemporary and celebratory vibe for the grooms' entrance.
R.E.M.
The song "At My Most Beautiful" by R.E.M. is a well-known and beloved tune that can be perfect for an LGBTQ+ wedding. While it may not be performed by a queer artist, its gender-neutral lyrics make it inclusive and fitting for the grooms' entrance, allowing them to feel seen and celebrated.
MARKX
"Complete" by MARKX, is a song with universal, non-gender-specific lyrics. It has been used by both LGBTQ+ and mixed-gender-identifying couples, showcasing its inclusivity and ability to resonate with a diverse range of relationships. This song can be a meaningful choice for the grooms' entrance, uniting the couple and their loved ones in a celebration of love.
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Frequently asked questions
Here are some songs grooms can enter to at a gay wedding:
- "Canon in D Major" by Pachelbel
- "All of You" by John Legend
- "I Was Married" by Tegan and Sara
It is important to consider the couple's feelings and family dynamics. Many love songs assume gender roles and use gendered pronouns, so it can be tricky to find the perfect song for a same-sex wedding. You can opt for gender-neutral songs that use "you" as the pronoun or choose songs by LGBTQ+ artists or allies of inclusivity.
You can find songs for a gay wedding on Spotify's Pride Mixes playlist or on the album "Universal Love", which includes classics re-recorded from a queer couple's point of view. You can also check out "The Gay Wedding Collection" by the Vitamin String Quartet for string covers of popular songs.
