Preparing For The Wedding Night: A Nurse's Guide

The wedding night is a couple's first time alone together as a married couple, and while expectations may be high, preparation doesn't have to be complicated. In the lead-up to the wedding, it's important to take care of your health and well-being, and on the day itself, it's a good idea to take things slowly and stay organised.

In the months before the wedding, it's a good idea to start a skincare routine or see a dermatologist to ensure you're looking and feeling your best. It's also beneficial to eat healthily and drink plenty of water, and while it can be hard to resist, try to limit your alcohol intake in the lead-up to and on the day of the wedding, as it can lower your libido.

On the day of the wedding, it's normal to experience a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. To stay organised, it's a good idea to pack an overnight bag with essentials such as toiletries, a toothbrush, and a change of clothes for the next day. It's also beneficial to set a scheduled time to leave the party, so you don't get caught up in the celebrations and lose track of time.

When the wedding night arrives, try to switch off your bride or groom brain and focus on enjoying the moment with your partner. Take things slowly, and don't rush into anything when you get back to your room. Run a bath, put on some music, give each other massages, and take the time to reconnect and get to know each other again.

Remember, the most important thing is to relax and have fun. Let go of unrealistic expectations, and don't worry if you don't have sex. You have the rest of your lives together, so there's no need to rush.

Create a romantic atmosphere with candles, music, and a relaxing bath

Creating a romantic atmosphere with candles, music, and a relaxing bath is a great way to prepare for a wedding night. Here are some tips to achieve this:

Candles

Candles are a simple yet effective way to create a romantic and relaxing atmosphere. Opt for tea light candles, as they usually come in packs, or choose any type of candle that you like. Place them around the bathroom, and if the tub has a wide rim, you can put some on the edge, being careful not to knock them over. Turn off the lights so that the bathroom is illuminated only by the candlelight, creating a cosy and intimate space.

Music

Music is a powerful tool for setting the mood. Create a playlist of romantic and relaxing music that both you and your partner will enjoy. Instrumental or background music is a good choice for creating a pleasant and calming atmosphere. Make sure to set up the music beforehand, and keep the volume low enough to allow for conversation.

Relaxing Bath

A relaxing bath is a great way to unwind and connect with your partner. Here are some tips to set up a romantic bath:

• Clean the bathroom beforehand, making sure the bathtub, sink, and surfaces are spotless.
• Choose a good time when you know you won't be interrupted.
• Select items to add to your bath, such as roses, essential oils, bath salts, and bubble bath.
• Draw the bath about ten minutes before you plan to get in, making sure the water is hotter than comfortable as it will cool down.
• Add your chosen items to the bathwater—bubble bath, bath salts, essential oils, and rose petals can all enhance the experience.
• Set out loofahs or sponges for washing each other.
• Prepare a tray with treats such as champagne, wine, strawberries, or grapes, and place it within easy reach.
• Have fluffy towels or bathrobes ready, and consider warming them in the dryer or oven beforehand for an extra touch of luxury.

Pack an overnight bag with lingerie, toiletries, and a change of clothes

Packing an overnight bag for your wedding night is a fun and important part of your wedding preparations. It's a good idea to include a mix of practical and romantic items to ensure you have everything you need for your first night as a married couple. Here are some suggestions for what to pack:

Lingerie

You may want to pack a special lingerie set for your wedding night, whether it's something sexy and lacy or comfortable and cute. Consider the weather and your personal style preferences when choosing your lingerie. If you're not sure whether you'll feel like putting on lingerie after a long day, you can always save it for your honeymoon.

Toiletries

Don't forget to pack your toiletries, including a toothbrush and toothpaste, hairdryer or curler, face wash and moisturiser, over-the-counter medications, shampoo and conditioner, and any birth control or period products you may need. You may also want to include some romantic extras, such as massage oils, bath bombs, or scented candles.

Change of Clothes

It's a good idea to pack a change of clothes for the day after your wedding. This could include a comfortable outfit for lounging, such as a soft terry velour bathrobe, or something more fun and flirty, like a "Wifey" sweatshirt. If you're heading to a warm-weather honeymoon destination, don't forget to pack some beachwear, like a sun hat and cover-up.

Practical Extras

In addition to the items mentioned above, there are a few other practical things you may want to include in your overnight bag. For example, you may want to bring along some comfortable shoes to change into if you've been wearing heels all day. You might also want to pack some snacks and a water bottle, especially if you're planning to continue the festivities into the night. Finally, don't forget your phone and charger, so you can stay connected and capture any memorable moments.

Take time to relax and pamper yourself before the wedding

Planning a wedding can be stressful, so it's important to take time to relax and pamper yourself before the big day. Here are some tips to help you de-stress and feel your best:

Book a Spa Day

Indulge in a day of pampering at a spa. Book a massage, facial, or both. Many spas also offer access to additional amenities such as hot tubs and serene lounges, which can help you relax and clear your mind. If a full day isn't possible, consider a manicure and pedicure, which can still provide a relaxing and rejuvenating experience.

Take a Break from Planning

Designate a day or two leading up to the wedding as "no wedding planning days." Use this time to focus on yourself and do things that make you happy and relaxed. This could include reading a book, taking a walk in nature, meditating, or spending time with your pet.

Practice Self-Care

In the days leading up to the wedding, be sure to practice good self-care. This includes eating nutritious meals, drinking plenty of water, and getting enough sleep. You may also want to consider starting or maintaining a skincare routine to ensure your skin looks and feels its best.

Surround Yourself with Support

Spend time with your support system—your bridal party, family, or close friends. Their presence and help can take some of the planning stress off your shoulders. They can also provide a comfortable environment for you to relax and de-stress before the wedding.

Exercise and Meditate

Exercising is a great way to relieve stress and improve your mental state. If you don't already have an exercise routine, consider starting one a few months before the wedding. Additionally, meditation or deep breathing exercises can help calm your mind and reduce pre-wedding jitters.

Plan a Getaway

Plan a mini-getaway or overnight stay at a local hotel with your bridal party or a close friend. Pack your pyjamas, snacks, and a bottle of wine, and enjoy a relaxing slumber party. This can be a fun and refreshing break from wedding planning.

Remember, taking time to relax and pamper yourself is essential for your well-being and will help you feel calm, confident, and ready to enjoy your special day.

Manage expectations and don't feel pressured to perform

There is a lot of pressure on newlyweds to have perfect, mind-blowing sex on their wedding night. However, it's important to remember that this is not always the case and it can be stressful and nerve-wracking for many couples.

Firstly, it's crucial to manage your expectations. Remember that you and your partner will likely be exhausted from the long day of celebrations. It's normal to feel too tired for sex or other intimate activities, and that's okay! The most important thing is to spend quality time with your spouse and enjoy each other's company.

Communication is key. Talk to your partner about your wants and desires. Be open and honest about what you are comfortable with, especially if it's your first time together. Let your partner know if there is anything that makes you feel nervous or uncomfortable.

It's also a good idea to take things slowly. You don't have to rush into anything. Take your time to cherish the moment and keep the atmosphere romantic.

If you feel pressured to perform, remember that it's fine to say no or suggest alternative activities. Ordering takeout, watching a movie, or simply cuddling and talking can be just as enjoyable as sex.

Lastly, don't be too hard on yourself if things don't go as planned. Every couple is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to a wedding night. As long as you are spending time with your spouse and looking forward to your new life together, that's all that matters.

Communicate with your partner about your wants and desires

Communicating your wants and desires to your partner is an important part of preparing for your wedding night. Here are some tips to help you navigate this conversation and ensure your needs are met:

Be Open and Honest

Share your thoughts, feelings, and expectations about the wedding night with your partner. Be honest about what you would like to happen and why it is important to you. For example, express your desire to be physically intimate or just cuddle and fall asleep together. This openness will help ensure that you are both on the same page.

Ask Questions and Listen

Inquire about your partner's thoughts and feelings on the wedding night. Ask them what they typically expect to happen and how they envision the ideal wedding night. Listen attentively to their responses and try to understand their perspective. This will help you gauge their expectations and adjust your plans accordingly.

Explore Each Other's Values

Discuss the significance of wedding night sex to each of you and where those beliefs come from. Understanding each other's values and the reasons behind them will help you make informed decisions about your wedding night. For example, one of you may value the tradition of consummating the marriage, while the other may prioritize rest and relaxation after the busy wedding day.

Address Disappointment Constructively

If things don't go as planned on your wedding night, it's normal to feel disappointed. Communicate your feelings to your partner in a respectful manner. Recognize that it's okay to have different wants and desires, and work together to find a compromise that considers both of your needs. Remember that the wedding night is just one part of your wedding day, and there are many other aspects to celebrate and cherish.

Plan for Different Scenarios

Discuss how you would feel about various wedding night scenarios. For example, talk about how you would feel if you were too tired for sex or if one of you had a little too much champagne. By considering different possibilities in advance, you can plan accordingly and ensure that you are both prepared for whatever the night may bring.

Focus on Connection and Enjoyment

Ultimately, the wedding night is about connecting with your partner and enjoying each other's company. Keep this in mind as you communicate your wants and desires. Remember that sex is not the only way to connect, and there are many other intimate and enjoyable activities you can do together. Prioritize your connection and shared enjoyment above all else.

Frequently asked questions