Rhiannon Hendricks
Wedding invitation etiquette is a complex business, with many traditions and nuances to consider. One such detail is the return address, which is an essential part of the invite, allowing guests to RSVP and ensuring undelivered invitations are returned to the sender. While it is a small detail, it is important to get it right. So, what name should you put on the return address?
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Return address location | Upper-right-hand corner or on the back flap of the outer envelope |
| Names | Full names with or without courtesy titles; first names only; last names only; no names |
| Address | Street address of the person/people hosting the wedding or the couple's preferred address for receiving RSVPs |
| Married names | Should be preceded by "the future" or "soon-to-be" |
| Format | Names on the first line, followed by the full street address on the second line, and the city, state, and zip code on the third line |
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What You'll Learn
Using your first names
If you're wondering what name to put on your wedding return address, you can opt to use your first names. This is a good option if you're concerned about guests not knowing your full names or not wanting to assume they will understand your future shared last name. Using both your first names also avoids any assumptions about your living situation, which some couples may prefer.
When using your first names, you can format your return address with both names on the first line, followed by the full street address on the second line, and the city, state, and zip code on the third line. This is a clear and effective way to present the information.
It's worth noting that traditionally, names are not included on a formal return address. Guests will likely be able to identify who the invitation is from based on the contents, and the return address is primarily functional, ensuring any undelivered invitations can be returned and guests can conveniently RSVP.
If you're concerned about formality, you could opt to just include your address without names, especially if you're sending out save-the-dates or if your parents are hosting and you want to use their address. However, if you are hosting the wedding yourselves, it is appropriate to include your names.
Ultimately, it is your wedding, and you can choose to address your invitations however you see fit. If anyone has an issue with your return address, that's their problem, not yours!
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Using your full names
Traditionally, the return address on wedding invitations includes the names of the hosts or the individuals sending the invitations. So, if your parents are hosting the wedding, their names should be included in the return address. If you are hosting the wedding, you can use your full names.
If you're sending out save-the-dates, you may want to use just your address on the back of the envelope for the return address, with no names. This is because save-the-dates are less formal than wedding invitations. However, on your wedding invitations, you can use your full names.
If you're concerned about preconceived notions of living together, parents paying, or you paying, using just your address might be a good option. You can also use a wedding planner's address if they are overseeing the invitation process and managing RSVPs.
[Your full name] and [your partner's full name]
[Street address]
[City, state, and zip code]
Remember, it's essential to include a return address on your wedding invitations to allow guests to conveniently RSVP and to protect your invites from any mailing mishaps.
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Using your married name
If you are using your married name on your wedding return address, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is generally advised not to use your married name without adding "the future" or "soon-to-be" before it. For example, you could write "The Future Mr. and Mrs. [Last Name]". This is because, traditionally, the names of the bride and groom should not appear together in print until after the wedding.
However, this tradition may not be suitable for all couples, especially if you have different last names or if you are already living together. In these cases, it is perfectly acceptable to use your full names with or without courtesy titles. For example, "Ms. [Your First Name] [Your Last Name] and Mr. [Partner's First Name] [Partner's Last Name]". If you have a hyphenated last name, remember to include both surnames.
If you and your partner are hosting the wedding, it is appropriate to include both of your names and your return address on the wedding invitations. This is especially useful if you want to receive the RSVP cards directly. However, if your parents are hosting the wedding, it is more traditional to use their names and address as the return address, even if you are helping to coordinate the guest list and menu.
Remember that the return address should be placed on the outer envelope, either in the upper-right corner or on the back flap. You can also invest in a custom stamp with your names and address, which you can continue using after the wedding for thank-you cards, Christmas cards, and other correspondence.
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Including both names if you live apart
When it comes to wedding invitation return addresses, there are a few things to consider, especially if you and your partner live apart. Firstly, it is important to note that traditionally, names are not included on a formal return address. Guests will be able to identify the invitation senders, and the return address is primarily to ensure that any undelivered invitations can be returned to the sender.
However, if you wish to include names, there are a few options. One suggestion is to use both your full names, with or without courtesy titles. For example, "Ms. Margot Ronan and Mx. Jax Logan". This is a good idea if your wedding is large and some guests might not be familiar with you or your partner. It is also helpful if you have guests who may only be linked to one of you, such as your parent's friends.
If you don't live together and don't intend to, you can still include both your full names and then choose the address you prefer for receiving RSVPs. This could be one partner's address, or even a parent or family member's home. You can also use a wedding planner's address if they are overseeing the invitation process. This approach ensures that you can keep track of the returned invitations and RSVP cards.
Another option is to use a combination of your last names, for example, "Smith/Jones Wedding" or "The Future Mr. and Mrs. Jakowski". This approach may be useful if you are concerned about preconceived notions of living together or other family dynamics.
Remember, the return address is typically placed on the back flap of the outer envelope, and you can use a stamp with your names and address for a neat and consistent look. Ultimately, it is your wedding, so feel free to make choices that reflect your preferences and situation.
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Using no names
If you want to avoid using names on your wedding return address, you have a few options. Firstly, you can simply use your shared address without any names. This approach can build anticipation for the wedding invitation itself and avoids any potential assumptions about your living situation.
Another option is to use a more general phrase like "The Future Newlyweds" or phrases indicating the future union to indicate who the invitation is from without specifying names. This can be a playful way to maintain anonymity while still providing a return address.
If you're concerned about the formality of the invitation, it's worth noting that inner envelopes are more informal, allowing you to be flexible with names and titles. You can opt for a casual approach by using first names only or even nicknames if that suits your style.
Additionally, if you're considering a stamp for convenience, you can opt for a design that includes only your shared address without any names. This approach ensures that you can use the stamp beyond your wedding for other correspondence, making it a practical choice.
Remember, the return address is ultimately a practical element to ensure the smooth delivery of your invitations and RSVPs. While names can be included, they are not mandatory, and you can certainly choose to exclude them if that aligns with your preferences and situation.
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Frequently asked questions
It is not necessary to include your name on the return address. Traditionally, names are not included on a formal return address. However, if you are hosting the wedding, it is acceptable to include your name.
If you are hosting the wedding, use your full names with or without courtesy titles. If you have different last names, you can use both last names, e.g. "Ms. Margot Ronan and Mx. Jax Logan". If you are taking your partner's last name, you can use "The Future Mr. and Mrs. [Last Name]".
It is not recommended to use your married name without adding "the future" or "soon-to-be" before it. This is because, traditionally, the bride and groom's names should not appear together in print until after the wedding.
If your parents are hosting the wedding, use their address as the return address. If you are hosting the wedding yourself, use your own address.
