Kosher Weddings: Food, Drinks, And More

A kosher wedding is a Jewish wedding that adheres to Jewish law and dietary rules. Kosher weddings are steeped in Jewish tradition, offering more than just a celebration of the union — they are a reaffirmation of faith and cultural identity. The food served at a kosher wedding must follow Jewish dietary laws, which include not only kosher foods but also proper food preparation and the use of permitted cookware. Kosher weddings also include rituals such as the veiling of the bride, the signing of the ketubah (a Jewish marriage contract), and the breaking of the glass.

Kosher food and drink: no pork, shellfish, or mixing meat and dairy

Kosher food is a key component of a Jewish wedding, with dietary laws dictating what can and cannot be served. These laws are based on the Torah, which consists of the first five books of the Bible: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy.

The Torah outlines several dietary rules, including the prohibition of eating pork and shellfish. In addition, Jewish dietary law forbids the mixing of meat and dairy. This means no butter on a steak, or cheese on a beef burger. However, it is acceptable to prepare and eat meat and dairy separately.

Meat, in the kosher context, refers to beef, lamb, and poultry. Dairy includes milk, cheese, butter, and yoghurt, but these must come from a kosher animal. All fruits and vegetables are considered parev, or neutral, and can be paired with either meat or dairy. Other parev foods include seafood (as long as it has fins and scales), candy (if dairy-free), coffee, tea, and soft drinks. Wine must be certified kosher, and if hard liquor is served, the brand and any mixers and condiments must also be kosher.

A typical kosher dinner at a wedding might include kosher meat, such as chicken, beef, lamb, or fish, served with pasta and vegetables, followed by a non-dairy dessert like fruit, dairy-free cake, cookies, or pastries.

The ketubah: a symbolic Jewish marriage contract

The ketubah is a significant part of a traditional Jewish wedding, a symbolic marriage contract that outlines the rights and responsibilities of the groom in relation to the bride. It is a longstanding tradition, an integral part of Jewish weddings for over 2,000 years.

The ketubah is signed before the main wedding ceremony, usually about 30 minutes before, in a private room with the couple, their witnesses, and their immediate family. In Orthodox Jewish weddings, two male witnesses, who are not relatives of the couple, must sign the document. In more modern Jewish practices, the couple, their officiant, and witnesses sign the ketubah. The witnesses do not have to have any particular characteristics and can be male or female.

The ketubah is a way for couples to exchange their promises and vows to each other. The text is often more egalitarian and relationship-focused, and couples may choose to write their own ketubah or purchase one with words that better suit their relationship. The ketubah lists the details of the wedding, such as the date, the names of the couple, and more. In traditional communities, the contract lists the groom's financial and conjugal responsibilities to the bride, and what should happen in the case of a divorce or death.

The ketubah is handed to the bride (or her mother) for safekeeping. It is often framed and hung in a prominent place in the couple's home, serving as a daily reminder of their vows and commitments to each other.

The ketubah is considered a work of art, with a wide range of designs, usually following the tastes and styles of the era and region in which they are made. The text is centred in the middle of the document, with designs surrounding it.

The chuppah: a structure under which the couple exchanges vows

The chuppah is a key feature of a Jewish wedding ceremony. It is a canopy or covering under which the couple stands to exchange their vows. The structure consists of four poles, sometimes manually held up by attendants, with a cloth or sheet stretched over the top. This cloth is often a tallit, or prayer shawl, and may belong to the couple or their families.

The chuppah is rich in symbolism. The four corners and covered roof represent the new home the couple will build together. The open sides of the structure evoke the tent of Abraham, reflecting the value of hospitality in Jewish culture and faith. The chuppah also symbolises the presence of God over the marriage covenant.

In some ceremonies, the four posts of the chuppah are held up by friends or family members, symbolising the support of the community for the couple's new life together. In other instances, the chuppah may be a freestanding structure decorated with flowers.

The chuppah ceremony is connected to the seven blessings recited over a cup of wine after the ceremony, known as the birchat nisuin or sheva brachot.

The sheva brachot: seven blessings shared by family and friends

The Sheva Brachot, or the seven blessings, are the heart of the Jewish wedding ceremony. They are recited under the chuppah (the wedding canopy) and then at the meal following the wedding, as well as at festive meals during the seven days after the wedding. The blessings are usually chanted in Hebrew, but many couples also choose to have them read in English.

The seven blessings are:

• "Blessed are you, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, who creates the fruit of the vine."
• "Blessed are you, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, who created everything for His glory."
• "Blessed are you, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, who created humanity."
• "Blessed are you, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, who created humanity in His image, in the image of the likeness of his form, and made for them an everlasting establishment. Blessed are you, Lord, who created humanity."
• "May the barren one (Jerusalem) rejoice greatly and delight in the ingathering of her children within her in joy. Blessed are you Lord who causes Zion to rejoice with her children."
• "The loving partners shall rejoice as You caused your creatures to delight in the Garden of Eden of old. Blessed are you Lord who causes the groom and bride to rejoice."
• "Blessed are you, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, who creates happiness and joy, groom and bride. Exultation, delight, amusement, and pleasure, love and brotherhood, peace and friendship. Soon, Lord our God, may the sound of happiness and the sound of joy and the voice of the groom and the voice of the bride be heard in the cities of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem—the rejoicing of groom from their chuppahs and youths from their singing banquets. Blessed are you Lord who makes the groom rejoice with the bride."

The blessings are traditionally chanted by a rabbi or cantor, but couples may ask honoured guests, such as friends or family members, to join in the recitation. If the blessings are to be said in Hebrew, it is important to ensure that the guest is fluent in the language.

The seven blessings are usually chanted over a cup of wine, from which the couple then drinks. This cup of wine may be divided into two cups, representing the bride and groom, which are then poured together into a third cup. The wine is then poured back into cups for the bride and groom and also poured into the third cup, which is shared by the community. This ritual symbolises how the couple is now connected and how their life together is intertwined with the community.

Dress codes: modest attire in line with Jewish customs

Kosher weddings are steeped in Jewish tradition, and the dress code is no exception. The choice of wedding attire should reflect the reverence of the occasion, blending traditional modesty with personal style.

For women, this means wearing skirts or dresses that fall below the knee and cover the shoulders, or the elbows in more traditional circles. Some women may also choose to wear a wrap or jacket that covers their shoulders during the ceremony, and then uncover for the reception.

Orthodox women are expected to have almost every inch of their skin covered, not only on their wedding day. This means full-length gowns with high necklines and sleeves, and avoiding very fitted silhouettes. No plunging necklines, high slits or open backs.

Conservative brides have a bit more flexibility. While shoulders should be covered, there is a little more leeway with necklines, slits and open backs.

Reform brides have free rein and tend to lean into the style of the moment. Strapless gowns are common, as are deep-V cuts and strappy shoes.

For men, the dress code typically involves wearing kippot (skullcaps), which will likely be provided at the wedding.

Frequently asked questions