George Boyle
Wedding speeches are an important part of the reception, injecting emotion, joy, and personality into the event. While there is a traditional order of wedding speeches, modern weddings are more flexible, allowing couples to tailor the order to their preferences. The wedding reception is traditionally hosted by the bride's parents, who congratulate the newlyweds and give a toast. The best man usually kicks off the wedding speeches with a toast, followed by the maid of honor. The couple may then say a few words to thank the guests and kickstart the reception meal. Nervous speakers should be placed early in the lineup, while confident speakers can go anywhere, with a particularly confident or funny speaker ending the speeches on a high note.
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What You'll Learn
The role of the father of the bride
The father of the bride traditionally has one of the most important roles at a wedding. As a key member of the bridal party, the father of the bride is expected to take on many responsibilities both before and during the wedding.
One of the most well-known duties of the father of the bride is to walk his daughter down the aisle and ensure she gets to the altar on time. He may also be asked to officiate the marriage, walk the bride's spouse or his own mother down the aisle, or even make a solo procession. Additionally, the father of the bride is often expected to contribute financially to the wedding, although this tradition has become less common in modern times.
When it comes to the wedding reception, the father of the bride is typically the first speaker and is responsible for setting the tone for the other speakers. His speech should be short and punchy, focusing on creating a sense of unity among the guests and welcoming the bride and her family. It is also common for the father of the bride to give a toast and a small welcome speech, greeting the guests as they arrive at the reception.
In terms of the overall reception timeline, there is flexibility in when the speeches take place. Some couples choose to have all the speeches before the meal, while others prefer to start the speeches when food service begins, with options to time them at the start of the meal, during the main course, or once dinner is almost finished. Regardless of the timing, the father of the bride's speech is an important part of the celebration, allowing him to share his joy, give advice, and inspire the couple and the guests.
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The groom's speech
What to Include in the Groom's Speech:
- Welcome and thank your guests: Express gratitude for their attendance and acknowledge any travel or effort made to be there.
- Thank your parents and in-laws: Show appreciation for their support and contribution to your life and the wedding.
- Acknowledge the wedding party and key contributors: Recognise the best man, bridesmaids, ushers, and anyone else who played a special role in the wedding.
- Share a personal story or anecdote: This could be about how you met your partner, a memorable moment in your relationship, or how you proposed. It adds a unique and intimate touch to your speech.
- Express your love and commitment: Speak from the heart about your feelings for your partner and your future together.
- Pay tribute to both families: Your speech is a chance to honour the families that have come together and celebrate their support.
- Conclude with a heartfelt toast: Raise a glass to your partner, your future, and the guests who are sharing this moment with you.
Tips for Delivery:
- Keep it concise: A short and sweet speech is more engaging. Aim for around 3-5 minutes, or 300-400 words.
- Tailor your tone: Inject your personality into the speech while maintaining a warm and gracious tone.
- Know your audience: Consider the demographics of your guests when crafting jokes or anecdotes to ensure they land well. Avoid inside jokes that may exclude people.
- Rehearse and prepare: While spontaneity is great, having a structured speech will help you feel more confident and ensure a smooth delivery.
- Make it memorable: This is your moment to shine. Share your emotions and leave a lasting impression on your guests.
Remember, the groom's speech is a chance to celebrate love, gratitude, and the union of two families. Enjoy the moment and savour the memories you're creating!
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Best man and/or maid of honour
The best man and maid of honour speeches are a highlight of the wedding reception. While the order of speeches at a wedding reception is flexible, the maid of honour and best man typically speak after the newlywed's parents. The best man and maid of honour's speeches are a chance to share stories about the couple and offer well-wishes for their future.
If you've been tasked with giving a best man or maid of honour speech, it's important to prepare in advance. Write a speech that's mostly about the couple, but don't forget to briefly introduce yourself and explain your relationship to them. Share stories and anecdotes that showcase the couple's best qualities and demonstrate their love for each other. Avoid mentioning exes, and keep your speech to around 3-7 minutes to hold the audience's attention.
Practise your speech beforehand, and consider printing it out or writing it on large paper so you're not squinting at your phone. Remember to pause for laughs after jokes and to look up from your paper to make eye contact with the couple and guests. If you're nervous, it might be a good idea to go easy on the alcohol until after your speech!
As the best man or maid of honour, your speech is an important part of the wedding reception. It's a chance to celebrate the couple and share your well-wishes in a memorable and meaningful way. With preparation and a well-crafted speech, you'll deliver a toast that the couple and guests will remember fondly.
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Timing of speeches
The timing of wedding speeches is an important consideration for the couple and wedding party. The sweet spot, according to experts, is to start the speeches when food service begins. This could be at the start of the meal, during the salad course, or once the main course is served. Another option is to wait until dinner is almost finished so that guests can relax and digest before hitting the dance floor.
To keep the reception timeline organised, it is recommended to limit the number of speeches to around four. Each speech should be brief, ideally between three and five minutes. The entire speech portion of the reception should not exceed 20 minutes. If there are more than four speakers, each speech should be even shorter.
The traditional order of wedding speeches is often adjusted to reflect modern weddings and the couple's preferences. For example, the bride didn't traditionally give a speech, but it has become more common in recent years. Similarly, the best man and maid of honour speeches are typically followed by the parents of the couple, but this can be changed to suit the couple's wishes.
Some couples may opt to have all the speeches at the rehearsal dinner, creating a simpler and more relaxed reception. This allows nervous speakers to feel more comfortable and gives them an opportunity to enjoy the main event. It is recommended to place nervous speakers earlier in the lineup, with a Master of Ceremonies (MC) introducing them with a joke or words of encouragement. The MC, who can be a friend or family member, guides the event, introduces each speaker, and keeps things running smoothly.
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Nervous speakers
If you're feeling nervous about giving a wedding speech, you're not alone. Nerves are perfectly natural, but with a bit of structure and practice, you can pull off an amazing wedding toast. Here are some tips to help you calm your wedding speech nerves:
Structure and Practice
Having a clear structure for your speech will give you something to hold onto if your mind goes blank. Jennifer Hester, a public speaking tutor, recommends the following formula: "Tell them what you're going to tell them, tell them, then tell them what you've told them." In other words, introduce your topic, deliver your message, and then summarise what you've said. Practising your speech will also help you feel more confident, so make sure you rehearse it out loud and time yourself. Knowing your material well will allow you to make eye contact with your audience and deliver a clear, smooth toast.
Timing
The timing of your speech can also help to calm your nerves. Traditionally, wedding speeches take place about three-quarters of the way through the wedding reception meal, when guests are finishing up their food and still seated. This way, once the speeches are done, guests can hit the dance floor and get the party started. If you're particularly nervous, you might want to suggest having your speech earlier in the day, perhaps at a rehearsal dinner, or even the night before the wedding.
Delivery
When it comes to delivering your speech, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, try to avoid locking your knees, as this can restrict blood flow to your head and upper body, which could lead to fainting. Move around if the space permits, and do whatever feels natural with your hands. Avoid a stiff posture, and let your arms hang naturally by your sides. If you're worried about speeding up when you speak, take several deep breaths and slow down. You may also want to use a microphone so that everyone can hear you.
Alcohol
While it may be tempting to turn to alcohol to calm your nerves, it's best to limit yourself to one or two glasses before your speech. Alcohol can cause you to slur your words or forget your lines, so save the serious celebrating for after your toast.
Perspective
Remember that you're not alone in your nerves, and that someone else in the bridal party is probably feeling just as nervous, if not more so. Also, try to keep in mind that you're celebrating people you adore, and who adore you. It's okay to be a little nervous, as this energy can liven up your speech.
Good luck!
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