Planning A Wedding: The Party Before The Big Day

Planning a wedding can be a stressful and time-consuming process. To make it more manageable, it's important to start early, giving yourself enough time to plan and sort tasks into a structured checklist and timeline. The first step is to determine your budget, which will be the driving factor for many of your decisions, including the guest list, venue, food, and entertainment. You can then start to think about the vision for your wedding, such as whether you want a formal or casual event, a specific theme, and whether it will be indoors or outdoors. While some couples opt to hire a wedding planner to assist with these details, others may prefer to tackle the planning themselves with the help of online tools and checklists. In addition to the wedding itself, there are also several pre-wedding parties to consider, such as the engagement party, bridal shower, and wedding shower, which can be memorable parts of the wedding journey.

Budgeting

First, figure out who is paying for what and determine your wedding budget. If family members are contributing, discuss how much they are comfortable spending and if they have any opinions on how the money should be spent. Be sure to get clear on this, as your uncle may want to pay for your florals, while your grandparents may be happy to contribute a lump sum with no strings attached. Once you have a final number, it's essential to stick to it, but also give yourself some wiggle room for unexpected costs, must-have upgrades, or last-minute changes. As a rule of thumb, plan to have a 10-15% cushion for unforeseen fees.

Next, break down your budget by deciding on priorities and allocating funds accordingly. A little market research will come in handy here. Consider using a budgeting system or tool to help you track your spending, such as a detailed spreadsheet. This will help you keep track of expenses and make it easy to adjust numbers along the way.

When creating your budget breakdown, there are several categories to consider. These may include:

• Venue, rental fees, food, and alcohol: It's recommended to spend no more than 40% of your overall budget on these combined.
• Photography and videography: Allocate around 12% to capture the memories of your wedding.
• Entertainment: If you have leftover funds, you can allocate 3% to guest entertainment, such as live painters, dancers, additional musical performers, poets, tarot card readers, or interactive food or drink servers.
• Transportation: Some couples choose to hire transportation for their guests, such as a bus or shuttle to and from hotels. Others opt for a limo for the wedding party or a getaway car after the reception.
• Rehearsal dinner and other wedding events: Don't forget to budget for pre-wedding parties, such as engagement parties, bridal showers, or wedding showers. These usually take place one to three months before the wedding and can include food, drinks, games, and gifts.
• Honeymoon: If you're planning a honeymoon right after the wedding, be sure to include this in your budget.
• Miscellaneous: This includes items such as wedding favours, beauty treatments, wedding rings, and insurance, lighting, decor, and overtime costs.

Venue and guest list

Deciding on a venue and finalising a guest list are two of the most important aspects of wedding planning. They are also the most challenging, as they depend on several factors, including your budget, style, and guest count.

Venue

The venue you choose will depend on the style of your wedding and your budget. An "on-site" wedding, such as a hotel or restaurant, simplifies the planning process as they typically offer catering, basic amenities like tables and chairs, and sometimes even an on-site coordinator. An "off-site" wedding, such as a park, beach, or field, requires you to bring everything in, including catering and amenities. It is important to visit your top venue contenders and select a place that fits your guest count, style, and budget.

Guest List

Finalising a guest list can be a complicated process, influenced by your budget, venue capacity, and family dynamics. Here are some steps to help you create your guest list:

• Determine your budget: Your budget will dictate how many guests you can afford to host.
• Consider the venue capacity: How many people can your chosen venue accommodate?
• Involve your families: Traditionally, both sets of parents have a say in the guest list, especially if they are contributing financially. Discuss and decide how many invites each set of parents can allocate.
• Prioritise guests: Create a wish list of guests, considering whether you are inviting children and who will be allotted a plus-one.
• Manage expectations: Be upfront with your families about the number of invites they can allocate to avoid inviting more guests than you can accommodate.
• Use a guest list tool: Utilise online tools and apps to manage your guest list, track RSVPs, gather meal choices, and plan seating arrangements.

Food and drink

Bridal Showers and Wedding Showers

Bridal showers and wedding showers are usually held one to three months before the wedding. They are an opportunity for guests to bring gifts for the couple to open during the event. Food and drink are central to these events, with guests enjoying eating, drinking, and playing games. The menu can be themed, such as an around-the-world shower with international foods, or a backyard picnic with a nautical theme.

Wedding Breakfast

On the morning of the wedding, it's important for the bridal party to eat a nutritious breakfast to sustain their energy throughout the day. This could include tea sandwiches, bagels with various toppings, or a smoothie with fruit and vegetables. It's also a good opportunity to pop open a bottle of champagne and offer mimosas, alongside non-alcoholic options like coffee and tea.

Wedding Reception

The wedding reception is the couple's chance to express their personality and creativity through food and drink. It can be as simple or unique as they like, from a basic salad in a brown paper bag to a build-your-own dim sum plate. Couples can also serve their favourite meal, like breakfast for dinner, with pancakes, waffles, eggs, and bacon, or go for a themed late-night party, like an old-fashioned diner.

For venues that don't have a commercial kitchen, couples will need to bring in external caterers. This could be the venue's in-house caterer, a recommended caterer, or even a food truck. Couples should research the latest food and beverage trends and ask the caterer to incorporate them into the menu. Appetizers, pre-dinner cocktails, and other beverages are also essential to consider. A signature drink can be a memorable and cost-effective addition to the reception.

Budgeting

When planning food and drink for a wedding, budgeting is crucial. The couple should first determine their overall wedding budget, including contributions from family members, and then allocate funds accordingly. They should also be prepared for unexpected additional costs and have a cushion of 10-15% in their budget.

Entertainment

If you're looking for evening entertainment, music is a popular choice. You could hire a DJ, a band, or a mixture of both. A DJ can entertain guests for the entire duration of the event, whereas a band may only play for a couple of hours. If you want live music, consider booking a mixture of musicians and a DJ to keep the dance floor busy all night.

If you're looking for unique entertainment ideas, consider hiring a magician, an interactive storyteller, or a tarot card reader. A photo booth is also a fun addition to a wedding, and you can add quirky props like hats, signs, and masks for guests to use. You could even create your own backdrop with floral garlands, fairy lights, or a chalkboard design. A video booth is another option, allowing guests to record their thoughts and best wishes. For outdoor weddings, lawn games like giant Jenga, ring toss, or croquet are always a hit, and a miniature golf course is a fun idea that guests of all ages can enjoy. If you're feeling adventurous, you could even organise a flash mob to surprise your guests!

For a more relaxed atmosphere, consider setting up a cosy fire pit, perhaps with a s'mores bar nearby, which is sure to be a hit with children. You could also invite a local winery or distillery to do a tasting onsite, providing an opportunity for guests to socialise and learn about the process of creation. If you want to treat your guests, you could hire an oyster bar, showcasing the local environment's unique offerings.

To make your wedding extra special, consider hiring an artist to capture the event on canvas. Your guests can watch the artwork come to life, and you'll have a beautiful keepsake to remember your day. End the night with a spectacular firework display, creating a magical moment and the perfect photo opportunity.

Remember, the key to successful wedding entertainment is to choose activities that reflect your interests and personalities while also considering your guests' enjoyment.

Pre-wedding parties

Engagement Parties

The engagement party is often the first pre-wedding celebration. It is a chance to announce your upcoming marriage to relatives and friends. Traditionally hosted by the bride's parents, it is usually an intimate gathering held at the host's home, a favourite restaurant, or a special venue. It is common to have two engagement parties – one for family and one for friends.

Bridal Showers

Bridal showers are parties that honour the couple with fun games, food, and gifts. They are often reserved for the latter half of the engagement period and are hosted by close friends or family. It is becoming more common to have a couple's shower, where both the bride and groom are feted by guests of all genders.

Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties

The bachelor and bachelorette parties are a fun way for the bride and groom to celebrate with their bridesmaids and groomsmen. They can last a day or an entire weekend and often involve a group activity or a trip to a fun destination.

Bridesmaids' Luncheon

The bridesmaids' luncheon is a small gathering hosted by the bride to thank the bridal party for their help and give them gifts. It is usually held the day before the wedding and is a chance for the bridal party to relax and enjoy a meal before the wedding day.

Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner is a gathering that allows the wedding party and families to get acquainted. It is usually hosted by the groom's parents and can be an intimate icebreaker or a large celebration. The entire wedding party is invited, and it often includes short speeches from the hosts and the couple.

Welcome Party

The welcome party is an optional event that usually follows the rehearsal dinner. It is a great way to kick off the wedding celebrations, especially if you have a destination wedding or many out-of-town guests.

Aufruf

The Aufruf is a traditional Jewish wedding event that takes place about a week before the wedding. It involves reciting a blessing from the Torah, followed by a blessing from the rabbi, and an optional reception. In some families, only the groom attends, while in others, the couple participates together.

Frequently asked questions