Rhiannon Hendricks
A Jewish wedding reception is a joyous occasion, filled with music, dancing, and merrymaking. The wedding meal begins with a blessing over the challah, an elaborately braided bread, followed by traditional dishes such as chicken and fish, symbolizing fertility, and sweet delicacies like rice pudding, symbolizing a sweet and prosperous life. The reception is also a time for the traditional Hora dance, where guests form a circle and dance ecstatically while the bride and groom are hoisted on chairs above the crowd. The conclusion of the reception is marked by the Grace after Meals, the Sheva Brachot blessings, and the Mezinke Tanz, a dance honouring the parents. The festivities continue for seven days after the wedding, with family and friends hosting festive meals and celebrations for the newlywed couple.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Start time | Midafternoon |
| Duration | Till late at night, but can be longer or shorter |
| Pre-ceremony reception | Kabbalat Panim, where the bride and groom are considered royalty and offer blessings to guests |
| Veiling ceremony | Badeken, where the groom covers the bride's face with a veil to emphasize his interest in her inner beauty |
| Marriage contract | Ketubah, signed by the couple, officiants, and witnesses |
| Betrothal | Erusin or Kiddushin, which includes a blessing over a cup of wine shared by the couple and their parents |
| Ring exchange | Groom gives an object of value, traditionally a ring, to the bride |
| Nuptials | Nissuin |
| Wedding ceremony location | Under the open sky, with the couple standing under a canopy or chuppah, representing their new home |
| Post-ceremony seclusion | Yichud, where the couple spends at least eight minutes in seclusion to reflect on their new relationship |
| Wedding meal | Starts with a blessing over challah, followed by dishes like chicken, fish, and sweet rice pudding |
| Dance | Hora, where guests dance in a circle around the bride and groom, who are seated on chairs and lifted into the air |
| Dance | Mezinke Tanz, which honors parents who have married off their last child |
| Conclusion | Birkat Hamazon, or blessings after the meal, followed by the seven wedding blessings |
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What You'll Learn
Signing the ketubah (marriage contract)
The ketubah, a Jewish marriage contract, is one of the oldest traditions in Jewish weddings, dating back more than 2,000 years. It is a religious custom that usually takes place in a separate, intimate ceremony shortly before the wedding ceremony.
The ketubah outlines the terms of marriage for the couple, including the groom's commitments to the bride. In ancient times, it was a legally binding document, written in Aramaic, describing the groom's "acquiring" of the bride and the amount he would pay her in the event of a divorce. It also stipulated the bride's dowry. The traditional text outlines the husband's financial obligations to his wife, but modern couples often choose to write their own ketubah or purchase one with words that better reflect their relationship. They may include their vows, poetry, or song lyrics.
The ketubah is signed by two witnesses who meet the relevant standards. Some couples may want more than two witnesses and should check with their officiant if this is possible. The witnesses must not be blood-related family members to the couple. The couple, their officiant(s), and additional witnesses may also sign the ketubah. The ketubah is often a beautiful piece of artwork that can be framed and displayed in the home.
The ketubah is a crucial document, and a Jewish wedding cannot commence without it. It is mentioned in the Bible, and the earliest surviving ketubah, written in Aramaic, dates back to 440 B.C.E. The text was standardized in the first century C.E., and in Orthodox communities, it remains the same today.
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Chuppah (canopy) ceremony
The chuppah is a canopy held up by four poles, under which the Jewish wedding ceremony takes place. The canopy is made of cloth, usually silk or velvet, and is supported by four staves, often held by four men. The chuppah represents the new home being created by the couple, symbolising the shelter and privacy that their new home will provide. The chuppah also symbolises hospitality to guests, as it is open on all four sides, just as the tent of Abraham was open to welcome guests.
The chuppah ceremony is also known as the nissuin, the second part of a Jewish wedding, which follows the erusin or betrothal. The chuppah is the focal point of the wedding ceremony, and the bride and groom stand at its centre, surrounded by their closest family and friends. The bride follows the groom towards the chuppah, and both are usually escorted by their respective parents.
The chuppah is often decorated with flowers, foliage, and other natural elements, and can be personalised to reflect the style or theme of the wedding. Some couples choose to incorporate meaningful items, such as heirloom prayer shawls, into the design of the chuppah.
The chuppah ceremony is connected to the seven blessings recited over a cup of wine after the ceremony (birchat nisuin or sheva brachot). The ceremony can be held indoors or outdoors, with some couples opting for a waterfront or mountain setting to accent their chuppah design.
The chuppah holds religious and cultural significance for Jewish couples, symbolising the beauty of their relationship and their obligations to each other and the Jewish community.
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Blessings of Betrothal (Kiddushin)
The Blessings of Betrothal, or Kiddushin, is the first part of a Jewish wedding ceremony. It involves two blessings recited by the rabbi, accompanied by two cups of wine. The first blessing is made over a cup of wine, which is then shared between the couple and sometimes their parents. This blessing sanctifies the couple together in kiddushin, a Hebrew word for "marriage" derived from the word for "holy".
The second blessing sanctifies the couple's commitment to sharing their lives and creating a Jewish home dedicated to God and the wellbeing of humanity. After the rabbi recites this blessing, the couple drinks from the second cup of wine.
According to Jewish law, a marriage becomes official when the couple exchanges rings and the groom gives an object of value to the bride. The couple declares, "Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring, in accordance with the laws of Moses and Israel." The rings are solid, without any breaks or stones, and symbolise the sanctification of the marriage.
The blessings of betrothal are considered unusual because they include a phrase about what is prohibited before the nuptials. This phrase emphasises that the marriage ceremony is not yet complete and that the process of marriage is ongoing.
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Breaking a plate
The breaking of a plate during a Jewish wedding is a symbolic ritual that takes place during the engagement party, known as a vort in Yiddish. This ceremony marks the moment when the couple formally commits to marrying each other. The act of breaking a plate symbolises the seriousness and permanence of their commitment: just as a broken plate cannot be easily mended, so too is the engagement final and binding.
The mothers of the bride and groom traditionally perform this ritual together, representing the acceptance of the conditions of engagement and the seriousness of the commitment their children are making. The breaking of the plate also serves as a reminder of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, and it foreshadows another significant ritual in the wedding ceremony itself—the breaking of the glass.
The plate used in this ritual is typically made of ceramic. After the plate is broken, some couples distribute the fragments to their friends, who may use them for segulah, or charms, to bring blessings and protection. This practice is similar to the tradition of giving out pieces of the broken glass from the wedding ceremony.
The breaking of the plate is a solemn moment that tempers the joy of the engagement, reminding those present that the engagement is a serious step towards the couple's new life together. It is a symbolic gesture that underscores the significance and finality of the couple's decision to unite in marriage, setting the tone for the rest of the wedding celebrations.
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Hora (circle dance)
The Hora is a traditional Israeli folk dance that is often performed at Jewish wedding receptions. It is a circle dance that involves guests dancing and clapping their hands in a circle while the bride and groom are seated on chairs and lifted into the air. The dance is typically performed to the song "Hava Nagila", and guests may use a handkerchief or cloth napkin while lifting the couple.
The Hora is a joyous and energetic dance that is meant to celebrate the newlywed couple. It is considered a mitzvah, or good deed, to entertain and bring happiness to the bride and groom on their wedding day. The dance is often accompanied by other forms of entertainment, such as juggling, acrobatics, and costumes.
During the Hora, guests form a large circle around the dance floor, with the bride and groom in the centre. The guests then dance and clap their hands to the beat of the music, moving in a circle around the couple. The dance is meant to be inclusive and celebratory, with everyone encouraged to participate.
The Hora is a well-known and beloved tradition at Jewish weddings, and it is considered a highlight of the reception. It is a fun and exciting way to honour the couple and bring everyone together in celebration. The dance is often filled with laughter, singing, and joyous shouts of "Mazel Tov!".
The Hora is a symbolic dance that represents the unity and community present at a Jewish wedding. The circle formation of the dance symbolises the eternal nature of love and the infinite support of family and friends. The lifting of the bride and groom symbolises their new elevated status as a married couple, as well as the joy and excitement of their new journey together.
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Frequently asked questions
The Jewish wedding reception is a time for celebration and merrymaking, with music, singing, and dancing. The wedding meal begins with a blessing over the challah, an elaborately braided bread. Chicken and fish, both fertility symbols, are ever-present dishes at Jewish weddings. The meal is traditionally followed by seven days of celebration, with festive meals hosted for the newly married couple.
The hora, or chair dance, is a staple of the Jewish wedding reception. Guests dance in a circle while the bride and groom are seated on chairs and lifted into the air. The mezinke tanz is another dance performed at the reception, honouring parents who have married off their last child.
Guests are encouraged to entertain the couple with tricks like juggling, amateur acrobatics, and funny dances. The reception is also a time for blessings, such as the birkat hamazon (blessings after the meal) and the Sheva Brachot (seven blessings).
Before the reception, there is a pre-ceremony reception called the kabbalat panim, where the bride and groom receive relatives and friends in separate rooms. The badeken, or veiling ceremony, also takes place before the reception, where the groom covers the bride's face with a veil.
