Junior Rasmussen
A Jewish wedding ceremony follows Jewish laws and traditions. The wedding day is considered a day of forgiveness, and some couples choose to fast until their first meal together as husband and wife. The ceremony itself consists of two parts: erusin/kiddushin (betrothal) and nissuin (marriage). During the first stage, the couple exchanges rings, and the bride is veiled by the groom. The second stage is when the couple starts their life together. After the ceremony, the couple spends at least eight minutes in yichud (seclusion) to privately reflect on their new relationship. The wedding ceremony is followed by a feast, where guests bring joy and festivities, and there is much dancing, including the hora.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Day of the week | Tuesday is considered the most auspicious day for a Jewish wedding. Other good days include Rosh Chodesh, Sunday, and Wednesday. Weddings are forbidden on Shabbat, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Pesach, Shavuot, and the first and last days of Sukkot. |
| Ketubah | A symbolic Jewish marriage contract that outlines the groom's responsibilities to his bride, including the conditions he will provide in the marriage, the bride's protections and rights, and the framework should the couple choose to divorce. It is signed by the couple and two witnesses before the ceremony and then read to the guests during the ceremony. |
| Chuppah | A canopy under which the couple exchanges vows, symbolizing the new home the couple is building together. |
| Rings | The groom gives the bride a plain wedding band made of solid gold or silver, without any breaks or stones, to represent the wholeness and union achieved through marriage. |
| Bedeken | The veiling of the bride by the groom, symbolizing his love for her inner beauty and that she will never lose. |
| Sheva Brachot | Seven blessings recited by the rabbi or select guests over a cup of wine. |
| Breaking the glass | This symbolizes the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem and that marriage holds sorrow as well as joy. |
| Yichud | The couple spends at least eight minutes in seclusion after the ceremony to reflect on their new relationship and share their first meal together. |
| Dancing | The hora is a traditional dance at Jewish weddings, where guests dance in a circle, and the bride and groom are seated on chairs and lifted into the air. |
What You'll Learn
The wedding ceremony
The Aufruf
The day before the wedding, the couple is called to the Torah for a blessing called an aliyah. The rabbi then offers a blessing called a misheberach, and members of the congregation throw candies at the couple to wish them a sweet life.
The Ketubah
The ketubah is a symbolic marriage contract that outlines the groom's responsibilities to his bride. It dictates the conditions he will provide in the marriage, the bride's protections and rights, and the framework should the couple choose to divorce. The ketubah is signed by the couple and two witnesses before the ceremony and then read to the guests during the ceremony.
The Bedeken
During the ketubah signing, the groom veils the bride's face. This signifies that he loves her for her inner beauty and that they are distinct individuals, even after marriage. It also stems from the biblical story of Jacob, who was tricked into marrying the wrong sister because she was veiled.
The Walk to the Chuppah
In the Jewish tradition, both of the groom's parents walk him down the aisle to the chuppah, followed by the bride and her parents. Both sets of parents traditionally stand under the chuppah during the ceremony, alongside the couple and rabbi. The chuppah has four corners and a covered roof to symbolise the new home the couple is building together.
The Vows
In the Ashkenazi tradition, the bride walks around the groom three or seven times under the chuppah. This may be to symbolise protection from evil spirits, temptation, and the glances of other women, or to symbolise the bride creating a new family circle. The groom gives the bride a ring, reciting:
> Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the law of Moses and Israel.
In some egalitarian weddings, the bride will also present a ring to the groom, with the quote:
> Ani l'dodi, ve dodi li (I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine).
The Sheva B'rachot
The seven blessings come from ancient teachings and are often read in Hebrew and English by family members or friends. They focus on joy, celebration, and the power of love, beginning with a blessing over a cup of wine and ending with a blessing of joy, peace, and companionship.
The Breaking of the Glass
As the ceremony ends, the groom (or sometimes the couple together) is invited to step on a glass inside a cloth bag to shatter it. This symbolises the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem and demonstrates that marriage holds sorrow as well as joy. It also represents the commitment to stand by one another in hard times.
The Yichud
After the ceremony, couples spend at least eight minutes in yichud (seclusion), allowing them to reflect privately on their new relationship. It is also customary for the couple to share their first meal together during this time.
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The marriage contract
The ketubah is signed by the couple and two witnesses before the wedding ceremony. It is then read to the guests during the ceremony. The witnesses must be Jewish, male adults, and unrelated to the couple. The groom and rabbi do not need to sign.
The ketubah outlines the groom's obligations to his bride, including providing her with food, clothing, and marital relations. It also includes the husband's guarantees to pay a certain sum in the event of divorce or inheritance rights if he dies before his wife. The document is designed to protect the wife, making it difficult for the husband to divorce her without appropriate reflection and consideration.
In the past, the ketubah also included details of the dowry brought by the bride, which was technically "leased" to the groom for the duration of the marriage.
The ketubah is an extremely important document in Jewish weddings and should be stored safely. In fact, according to tradition, a married couple should refrain from physical intimacy if they cannot locate their ketubah.
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The wedding canopy
The chuppah, or huppah, is a canopy under which a Jewish couple stand during their wedding ceremony. The word itself means 'canopy' or 'covering' in Hebrew. It is a square cloth, usually made of silk or velvet, supported by four poles, and often held up by friends or family members.
The chuppah is symbolic of the new home the couple will build together, and their new life as a married couple. The four corners of the canopy represent the four walls of their home, and the open sides represent hospitality and the importance of community. The chuppah is also said to symbolise God's presence, with the rabbi sometimes inviting other couples to stand inside the chuppah after the ceremony to reflect on their own weddings.
The chuppah is also connected to the seven blessings, or Sheva Brachot, which are recited over a cup of wine after the ceremony. The blessings focus on joy, celebration, and the power of love.
In the Ashkenazi tradition, the bride circles the groom three or seven times under the chuppah. This is said to create a magical wall of protection from evil spirits, temptation, and the glances of other women. It can also be seen as the bride symbolically creating a new family circle.
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The ring
In some egalitarian weddings, the bride will also present a ring to the groom, often with the quote: "Ani l'dodi, ve dodi li" (I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine). This may be inscribed on the ring. In a double-ring ceremony, each partner gives a ring to the other, pledging mutual sexual fidelity.
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Breaking the glass
The breaking of the glass symbolises several things. One of the most common interpretations is that it represents the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, reminding the couple and guests that even in times of great joy, there is still pain and suffering in the world. This interpretation is often accompanied by the singing of Im Eshkakech Yerushalayim (If I Forget You, Jerusalem) and the reciting of verses from Psalms. Another interpretation is that the fragility of glass represents the frailty of human relationships, and the potential for even the strongest love to disintegrate. The breaking of the glass can be seen as an incantation, with the prayer: "As this glass shatters, so may our marriage never break."
The loud noise created by the breaking of the glass is also thought to frighten away demons and evil spirits, protecting the couple from harm and mischief. In a more lighthearted interpretation, the groom's stomping on the glass is said to be the last time he will ever get to put his foot down in the relationship.
The shards of glass are carefully collected after the ceremony, and many couples choose to incorporate them into a memento of their wedding day, such as a mosaic or decorative piece of art.
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Frequently asked questions
A Jewish wedding night is a celebration that follows Jewish laws and traditions, including rituals such as the signing of a ketubah (marriage contract), the exchange of rings, and the breaking of a glass.
The ketubah is a symbolic Jewish marriage contract that outlines the groom's responsibilities to his bride, including providing food, clothing, and marital relations. It also dictates the bride's protections and rights, as well as the framework in case of divorce.
There are multiple interpretations of this ritual. Some believe it represents the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, reminding us that even in times of great joy, we must remember the tragedies endured by the Jewish community. Others believe it symbolizes the fragile nature of marriage, which must be carefully nurtured and cherished.
Yes, Jewish weddings are prohibited on certain days, including Shabbat, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Pesach, Shavuot, and the first and last days of Sukkot. Weddings are also not held during specific periods of mourning, such as the three-week period between the 17th of Tammuz and Tisha B'Av.
One unique ritual is the bedeken or veiling ceremony, where the groom covers the bride's face with a veil. This symbolizes the groom's love for the bride's inner beauty and their individuality within the marriage. Another ritual is the circling tradition, where one partner circles the other seven times under the chuppah (wedding canopy), alluding to the seven days of creation and the idea of marriage as a process of creation.
