Late Rsvp: Wedding Woes

RSVPs are an important part of wedding planning, allowing couples to finalise their table plan and confirm numbers with caterers and venues. Wedding guests should respond to an RSVP as soon as they know whether they can attend, and ideally, no later than two weeks before the wedding. It is considered rude to RSVP late, and it can cause issues for the couple who are planning their big day. If you are late to RSVP, it is important to be polite and apologetic, and understand if the couple cannot accommodate you.

It's rude to RSVP late, but you can't rescind the invite

• Set a clear RSVP deadline: Include an "RSVP by" date on your invitations, ideally three to four weeks before the wedding. This gives you time to finalise the guest list and make necessary arrangements.
• Provide gentle reminders: Before the RSVP deadline, send a friendly reminder via email or text. Let them know you're excited about the wedding and need their response for planning purposes.
• Follow up after the deadline: If the deadline passes without a response, give them a call. They might have forgotten or felt embarrassed about not being able to attend. Politely inform them that their response is needed to finalise the guest count.
• Assume a "no" after continued silence: If you still don't receive a response after your follow-up attempts, it's safe to assume they aren't coming. Send them a final message expressing your well-wishes and stating that you'll consider their lack of response as a decline.
• Plan for last-minute responses: While it's rude for guests to RSVP extremely late, you may still receive responses after assuming their non-attendance. In such cases, do your best to accommodate them, but don't feel obligated to make significant changes to your plans.
• Be understanding: Remember that guests may have valid reasons for responding late. They might need time to organise their budget, book time off work, or arrange childcare. Show empathy and maintain a polite and calm attitude throughout the process.

The couple will have to personally follow up with you

If you don't respond to an RSVP for a wedding by the deadline, the couple will have to personally follow up with you. This is because they need to confirm the final number of guests with their caterer, venue, and other vendors. Leaving it late will cause more work for the couple, who will have to chase you for an answer.

The couple will first try to contact you via email or text. They will likely send a polite reminder to all guests who haven't responded, to gently nudge late responders into action. If you still don't respond, they will probably try to call you. If they can't get through to you, they may even try to meet you in person if you are a close family member or friend.

If you still don't respond, the couple will have to assume that you are not coming. They will have to finalise their table plan and confirm the number of meals with their caterer, so they can't wait forever for you to get back to them.

To avoid putting the couple in an awkward position, it's important to respond to a wedding RSVP by the deadline. This is usually about two weeks before the wedding, but it's best to respond as soon as you know whether you can attend.

The couple may assume you're not coming

If you don't respond to an RSVP for a wedding by the deadline, the couple may assume you're not coming. This is because the couple needs to confirm the final headcount with their caterer, venue, and other vendors. If you don't respond by the deadline, the couple will have to personally follow up with you, and if they can't get in touch, they will assume you're not attending. This is why it's important to respond to a wedding RSVP as soon as you know whether you can attend or not.

If you're waiting for an RSVP from someone, it's a good idea to give them a gentle reminder about a week before the deadline. This can be done via email or text, and it will give people who have forgotten or been too busy to respond a chance to do so. If you still haven't heard from them by the deadline, you can try calling them. It's a good idea to give them a timeframe, for example, telling them that if you don't hear from them in 48 hours, you'll assume they can't attend.

If you still haven't heard from them after the deadline has passed, it's probably safe to assume they aren't coming, especially if it's been more than a week since the RSVP date. At this point, you could send them a final message letting them know that you're assuming they can't make it, but that if they are planning to come, they should let you know by a certain date.

It's important to remember that the couple needs to finalize their table plan and confirm the number of meals with the caterer, so if you don't respond by the deadline, they may have to make adjustments to accommodate your late response.

You might not get a meal choice

If you RSVP late for a wedding, you might not get your preferred meal choice. Wedding caterers typically require a final headcount, along with meal preferences, a few weeks before the wedding. This is to ensure they can plan and prepare meals for the confirmed number of guests.

If you RSVP after the deadline, the couple may have already submitted their final guest list and meal choices to the caterer. As a result, they may not be able to accommodate your meal preference, especially if you have specific dietary requirements. In this case, you may have to settle for a default meal option or go without a meal at the wedding.

To avoid this situation, it is important to respond to a wedding invitation promptly and before the RSVP deadline. This allows the couple to plan their seating chart and finalise the guest list for the caterer, venue, and other vendors. It is also considerate to the couple, who may be busy with last-minute wedding preparations and do not need the added stress of chasing down late responses.

If you know you will be attending a wedding, it is a good idea to respond as soon as you receive the invitation. This helps the couple immensely and ensures that your meal preference can be accommodated. Remember, it is always better to respond late than not at all. If you absolutely cannot make the wedding, it is still polite to inform the couple as soon as possible so they can adjust their plans accordingly.

In conclusion, a late RSVP may result in a missed opportunity to choose your preferred meal. To avoid any inconvenience to the couple and yourself, respond to wedding invitations in a timely manner and respect the RSVP deadline.

It's harder for the couple to plan the rest of the wedding

When it comes to wedding planning, timely RSVPs are crucial for a smooth process and to avoid last-minute chaos. Here's why it's harder for the couple to plan the rest of the wedding if guests RSVP late:

• Final Guest Count: The couple needs an accurate headcount to finalise the details with their caterers, venue, and other vendors. Late RSVPs can cause delays in providing the final count, leading to last-minute changes and additional costs. It also affects the couple's ability to plan the layout, seating arrangements, and table settings.
• Budgeting and Cost Management: Wedding planning involves careful budgeting, and the cost per guest is a significant factor. Late RSVPs can impact the couple's ability to manage their budget effectively. They may have to make last-minute adjustments if there are unexpected additions or cancellations, which can be challenging and stressful.
• Seating Chart and Place Cards: Creating a seating chart and assigning place cards is a meticulous task. Late RSVPs disrupt this process, making it harder to finalise the seating plan and ensure that guests are comfortably accommodated. It also affects the couple's ability to consider guests' preferences, relationships, and dynamics when creating the seating arrangements.
• Food and Beverage Planning: Late RSVPs can complicate food and beverage planning, especially if the couple is offering a choice of meals or customising menus based on guests' preferences. It becomes challenging to communicate accurate numbers and preferences to the caterers, potentially resulting in insufficient food or unnecessary waste.
• Travel and Accommodation Arrangements: For destination weddings or weddings where guests need to travel, late RSVPs can create challenges for both the couple and the guests. The couple may have blocked hotel rooms or arranged group transportation, and late responses can lead to confusion and additional costs.
• Coordination with Vendors: Wedding planning involves coordinating multiple vendors, from photographers to florists to entertainment. Late RSVPs impact the overall headcount, which can affect the couple's negotiations, contracts, and payments with these vendors. Last-minute changes due to late RSVPs may result in additional fees or availability issues.

In summary, timely RSVPs are essential for a couple's wedding planning journey. Late responses can lead to a cascade of complications, affecting their ability to finalise details, manage costs, and create a seamless experience for their guests. To avoid these challenges, it is considerate for guests to respond promptly and respect the specified RSVP deadline.

Frequently asked questions