First Wedding Night: Indian Traditions

The first wedding night in India is often not as romantic as it is portrayed in movies. Couples are usually exhausted from the long day of celebrations and may be too tired to be intimate. There may be relatives around for a few days after the wedding, making it awkward for the newlyweds. The bride may also have to go through post-wedding rituals and games, leaving little time for rest. Additionally, the heavy bridal attire can be a struggle to remove, and the new room may not be decorated as expected. Despite the hype, many couples choose to simply cuddle, talk, or sleep on their wedding night.

It's normal to feel hungry, tired, or uncomfortable

Indian weddings are colourful, vibrant, and steeped in tradition. They are also complex, multi-day affairs, and it's normal to feel hungry, tired, or uncomfortable on your first wedding night.

The first wedding night is often imagined as a perfect, romantic evening. However, in reality, it can be quite different. It's important to manage your expectations and be prepared for a range of possibilities. Here are some things to keep in mind:

Feeling Hungry

The first wedding night in India often happens a day after the wedding. With tons of post-marriage ceremonies and celebrations, newlyweds might skip meals and go to bed hungry. It's a good idea to ask your bridesmaids or groomsmen to ensure there's something to eat before you retire for the night.

Feeling Tired

Indian weddings are hectic and exhausting. You'll likely be sleep-deprived and tired from all the festivities. It's okay to feel sleepy and want to get some rest. Don't stress too much about staying up all night; there will be many more nights to come.

Feeling Uncomfortable

You might feel uncomfortable on your first wedding night due to the new surroundings and the presence of in-laws nearby. To alleviate this discomfort, consider booking a hotel room for added privacy and a change of setting.

Managing Expectations

Don't expect your first wedding night to be like the ones portrayed in movies. Be open to the fact that it might be different, and it might even be better than you imagined. Embrace the uniqueness of your experience.

Intimacy and Consent

There is no pressure to have sex on your first wedding night. It's absolutely fine to simply enjoy each other's company and bond in other ways. Remember that any sexual activity should be consensual, and you always have the option to say "no".

Embracing Imperfections

It's okay to feel embarrassed or make mistakes. Don't put too much pressure on yourself or your partner to perform perfectly. Release yourself from these expectations and allow yourself to relax and enjoy the moment.

Remember, it's normal to feel a range of emotions on your first wedding night, and it's important to discuss any concerns or discomfort with your partner. Embrace this time as a vulnerable and intimate experience, and don't hesitate to adapt your surroundings or plans to suit your needs and preferences.

You might not have sex

Indian weddings are exhausting. By the time the wedding pheras are over, you may be too tired to do anything but sleep. And if you're hungry, forget it! You might be too busy with post-marriage ceremonies to eat, so make sure you have something to snack on later.

There's also a lot of pressure surrounding the first wedding night. It's normal to feel nervous or uncomfortable, especially if you're in a new room with your new in-laws sleeping next door. If you're feeling awkward, consider booking a hotel room for the night. Remember, it's your wedding night, so do what feels right for you and your partner.

It's also important to manage your expectations. Movies often exaggerate the passion and romance of the first wedding night, but in reality, it may be a bit more low-key. You might spend the night talking, cuddling, or even just removing each other's elaborate hairstyles and outfits. And that's okay! The most important thing is that you enjoy each other's company.

If you're feeling nervous, remember that you're not alone. Many couples don't have sex on their wedding night. A survey by lingerie brand Bluebella found that 52% of people don't get intimate on their wedding night. So, if you're not in the mood, don't stress about it. There will be plenty of other opportunities.

You might play games or meet relatives

Indian weddings are a time for celebration and festivity, with many rituals and traditions. The first night a couple spends together as newlyweds, known as the suhagraat, is no exception. While some of the more outdated traditions have been left behind, there are still many customs and games associated with this night.

Meeting Relatives

The bride is typically welcomed into her new home by the groom's relatives, who greet and bless her, showering her with gifts. The bride touches their feet as a mark of respect.

Post-Wedding Games

There are many post-wedding games that the couple can play together, often as an ice-breaking activity. One such game involves the couple sitting back-to-back, holding one of their shoes and their partner's shoe. They are then asked questions about their relationship, and they answer by raising the shoe of the person they believe the statement best applies to. Another game sees the couple holding placards on their faces and using them to answer questions.

There are also games that the couple can play against each other. In one game, the bride must incorporate the groom's name initials in her mehndi pattern, and the groom must find his name. If he loses, he has to accept the bragging rights of his wife. In another game, the couple must untangle a multi-knotted thread tied between their hands, using only their free hands.

Other Customs

The couple's room is often decorated with heavily fragrant, fresh flowers, believed to create a romantic mood. The bride is usually allowed into the room first, giving her time to freshen up and wait for her husband. The groom then unveils the bride, gifting her something special. It is also customary for the couple to share a glass of saffron, fennel-flavoured, or spiced milk, believed to be an aphrodisiac.

Undressing can be a struggle

In addition to the physical struggle of undressing, there can also be a mental or emotional burden associated with it. The first wedding night is often built up and romanticized in movies and TV serials, creating unrealistic expectations. The reality is that it can be an awkward and uncomfortable experience, especially for couples who don't know each other well or who have had an arranged marriage. The pressure to perform and the worry about 'what will happen' can take away from the enjoyment of the moment.

To make the undressing process a little easier, it's important to remember that it's okay to ask for help. The groom can assist the bride in removing her attire, but he may need guidance as he may be unfamiliar with the clothing. It's also a good idea to set realistic expectations and remember that the night may not go as planned, and that's okay.

• Start the undressing process earlier in the evening to avoid being too tired later on.
• Have a private space where you can feel comfortable undressing, away from the chaos of the wedding celebrations.
• Communicate with each other and be vocal about your needs and boundaries.
• Take your time and enjoy the process, rather than rushing through it.
• Remember that it's okay to laugh and embrace the awkwardness together.

It may not be as romantic as in the movies

The wedding night is often built up to be this incredibly passionate, romantic encounter, but in reality, it can be a bit of an anticlimax. The couple may be too tired to do anything but sleep, and even if they do manage to stay awake, the presence of in-laws and relatives can be off-putting. In Indian culture, the wedding night often includes more rituals and ceremonies, which can be tiring and time-consuming. There's also the issue of food—by the time the wedding is over, the couple is likely to be starving, but that doesn't leave much appetite for a "good time in bed".

Of course, every couple is different, and some may find that their wedding night is everything they hoped it would be. But it's important to manage expectations and remember that it's okay if things don't go exactly as planned. It's also worth noting that, in the past, when most marriages were arranged, the wedding night was intertwined with the concept of female virginity and male ownership. Nowadays, with many couples getting intimate before marriage, the hype around the wedding night has started to diminish.

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