George Boyle
Planning a wedding can be a daunting task, especially when it comes to planning a gay wedding, as there are often unique circumstances and considerations to navigate. While gay weddings are now legally recognised in all 50 states, couples may want gender-specific advice and inspiration for their ceremonies and receptions. From deciding who walks who down the aisle to choosing outfits, there are many aspects to think about. In addition, finding inclusive vendors and venues that align with your vision and values is essential. Budgeting and financial planning are also crucial aspects, as the cost of a wedding can quickly add up. Ultimately, the most important thing is to create a celebration that reflects your love story and makes you and your partner happy.
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What You'll Learn
Budgeting and financing
The location and venue of the wedding will significantly impact the budget. Large cities and grand ballrooms tend to be more expensive, and they often have minimum headcount requirements. Even small, quaint towns that are tourist attractions can be costly. The formality of the wedding also makes a difference in the budget; more formal weddings tend to be larger and more expensive. For example, a formal wedding with a sit-down dinner, dancing, and a band in a hotel ballroom will likely cost more than a casual wedding with cake and ice cream in a backyard.
The number of guests can also affect the overall cost. Gay couples tend to have smaller weddings, which can reduce expenses. Additionally, the choice of attire can vary in cost. The average price of a groom's outfit is around $300, while a wedding dress averages $1,600. The cost of engagement rings should also be considered, with the average man's ring costing around $300 and a diamond ring for a woman costing over $5,000.
After determining the budget and key expenses, it's important to prioritize the must-haves and allocate funds accordingly. This could include a summertime wedding or an open bar for guests. It's also essential to be flexible and make adjustments as needed. Some costs to consider include the venue, food, drinks, entertainment, attire, rings, invitations, and vendors such as photographers, florists, and DJs.
To make budgeting easier, various tools are available, such as The Knot Wedding Budget Tool, which helps estimate costs based on regional data. It's also beneficial to use a sample wedding budget breakdown as a guide and to track expenses and edit them as needed. It is recommended to have frequent check-ins with your partner and anyone else contributing financially to ensure everyone is aligned and on track.
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Venue and vendor selection
When it comes to planning a gay wedding, it's important to find inclusive vendors and venues that understand and celebrate the diversity of love.
The first step in planning a gay wedding is to find inclusive vendors and venues that align with your vision and values. This means researching and reaching out to vendors and venues with a track record of supporting LGBTQIA+ couples. It is advisable to start securing your vendors between 12 and 15 months before your wedding date. This will ensure that you reserve the date before they become booked.
When selecting a venue, consider the size of your guest list and the atmosphere you want to create. Do you prefer a traditional setting, such as a church or banquet hall, or something more unique, like a beach or garden wedding? You might also want to look into LGBTQIA+-owned venues that foster an inclusive "love is love" vibe.
As for vendors, it is essential to choose professionals who are experienced in working with LGBTQIA+ couples and understand your specific needs and preferences. This includes photographers, caterers, florists, DJs, and bakers. Take the time to meet with potential vendors, ask about their experience, and discuss your vision to ensure they are the right fit for your wedding.
To make the process easier, consider using online resources and directories specifically designed for LGBTQIA+ couples, which can provide valuable information about inclusive venues and suppliers. These resources often include reviews and feedback from other couples, helping you make informed decisions.
Remember, the key is to find vendors and venues that not only align with your logistical needs but also embrace and celebrate your love story. By prioritizing inclusivity and diversity, you can create a wedding that truly reflects your personal style and values.
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Wedding attire
When it comes to wedding attire, there are no rules for gay couples. There is a lot of fluidity in what is worn by LGBTQIA+ couples on their wedding day. You can keep things traditional with dresses or tuxedos, or make them your own.
If you're looking for a place to start, it's a good idea to discuss with your partner whether you want to match each other's style or showcase your individuality with unique outfits. If you decide to take the matching route, consider donning traditional tuxes or fitted black suits—these classic looks usually translate well across all body types. You could also opt for timeless grey suits or even colourful ensembles. You can tie different styles together with accessories, such as bow ties, boutonnières, ties, pocket squares, and shoes.
If you don't plan on keeping your wedding clothes and would like to save some money, you can opt to rent your attire.
Remember, wedding planning should be about reflecting your personalities through as many details as possible—and that includes your wedding fashion.
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Marriage license
Thanks to the landmark Supreme Court ruling in 2015, gay marriage is now legal across the United States, and LGBTQ+ weddings have the same legal recognition as traditional weddings. This means that LGBTQ+ couples have the legal right to obtain a marriage license in all 50 states. While specific requirements may vary slightly from county to county, there are some common elements to be aware of when planning your wedding.
One of the most important aspects is obtaining a marriage license, which is the legal recognition of your marriage and is required for your union to be officially recognized. To acquire a marriage license, you will need to submit an application to the county clerk's office, typically a few weeks ahead of your wedding date. This application will require some basic information about both partners, including full names, dates of birth, and proof of identification. Most marriage licenses are valid for 60 to 90 days, depending on the county.
In addition to the marriage license, there are a few other requirements to meet before your ceremony. These usually include paying a nominal filing fee to cover administrative costs, and the amount of this fee may vary by county. It is also essential to start securing your vendors and services 12 to 15 months ahead of your wedding date. This includes photographers, venues, florists, DJs, and bakeries, ensuring that they align with your style and vision for the wedding.
When it comes to wedding attire, LGBTQ+ couples have the freedom to choose what they want to wear. You can keep things traditional with dresses or tuxedos, or opt for something more unique and individual. It is also an option to rent your attire if you don't plan on keeping it after the wedding, which can help save money.
Lastly, it is crucial to have an open conversation about money and budgeting for the wedding. Today's weddings are more equitable, and it is essential to be honest and contribute what each person or their family can afford. After setting a budget, prioritize the must-haves and work the remaining aspects into the remaining budget.
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Guest list
The guest list is one of the most important parts of the wedding planning process. It will determine how many people you need to cater for and whether your budget is feasible. It is advisable to only invite friends and family who have supported your love and will be excited about your special day. This will help you avoid any unnecessary drama on your wedding day.
When it comes to LGBTQIA+ weddings, it is important to find inclusive spaces that understand and celebrate the diversity of love. The same principle applies to your guest list. Consider whether your guests will be comfortable with and supportive of your wedding.
If you are unsure about how to go about planning your guest list, there are resources available to help you. For example, "Who To Invite To A Gay Wedding" can provide guidance and suggestions.
Once you have a guest list, remember to gather all the addresses you need to send invitations to. It is recommended to send out "Save The Date" cards at least a year in advance. These cards do not include an address, dress code, or time, but they are necessary for guests to keep the day free and start saving for any gifts, travel, or accommodation.
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Frequently asked questions
Finding inclusive vendors and venues is a must when planning a gay wedding. The Knot Marketplace is home to hundreds of LGBTQIA+ vendors that you can easily find using their diversity filters. You can also check out Wedgewood Weddings, which has 50+ all-inclusive wedding venues across the United States and recruits the best local vendors to ensure every couple is treated with equality.
Wedding planning isn't about following rules. It's about making your own celebration and doing what feels right for you as a couple. You have the freedom to decide who walks you down the aisle, or you can walk down the aisle together. You can also decide whether you want to come out to your vendors or not.
Wedding planning can be stressful, so it's important to prioritize your and your partner's mental health. Create a self-care kit or a wellbeing reminder page to refer back to when you're feeling stressed. You can also hire a wedding planner to help make your dream wedding a reality and provide useful input for decision-making.
