Junior Rasmussen
Wedding gift-giving can be a confusing affair, with many rules and expectations to consider. While there is no definitive rule on how much to spend, traditional etiquette suggests covering the cost of your attendance, which could be anywhere from $50 to 250. The closer you are to the couple, the more you are expected to spend, but it is important to stay within your budget and give what you can afford. Gifts can be sent before or after the wedding, and it is customary to send them to the couple's home rather than bringing them to the wedding. If you are unable to attend, you are not obligated to send a gift, but it is polite to send a small gift or contribute to a group gift or honeymoon fund. Gifts can be chosen from the couple's registry, or you can opt for something more personal, such as homeware, kitchenware, or even cash.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Gift type | Cookware and bakeware, small kitchen appliances, dinnerware, flatware, drinkware, serveware, home decor, kitchen tools and accessories, table linens, personalized art prints, cards, blankets, knife, chocolate, mementos, home decor, spa package, activity experience, honeymoon fund, cash |
| Gift amount | Depends on your budget, relationship with the couple, and the number of people you are gifting for. Gifts can range from $25 to $500+. |
| Gift timing | Gifts should be sent before the wedding or as soon as possible after the wedding. You have up to one year to send a gift, but the sooner, the better. |
| Gift delivery | It is preferred to send the gift to the couple's home instead of bringing it to the wedding. |
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What You'll Learn
How much to spend
There is no set amount that you should spend on a wedding gift and the right number depends on what you can afford. If you are not close to the couple, you are not obligated to buy a gift. If you are not attending the wedding, it is still recommended to send a gift to thank the couple for inviting you.
If you are attending multiple events for the couple, you can use the 60-20-20 rule, which means spending 20% of your total budget on an engagement party gift, 20% on a gift for the bridal shower, and 60% for the actual wedding gift. If you are giving cash or a check, it is best to send it ahead of time rather than bringing it to the wedding.
If you are buying a gift for a friend, it is recommended to spend between $50 and $100. If you have been working with them for longer than a year, you might want to consider spending closer to $100. For a close friend, you should expect to spend between $100 and $250. If you are buying a gift for your whole family, you should budget $150 to more than $200, depending on how much you will spend on travel.
If you are buying a gift for a couple, it is recommended to stick to their registry. However, if you are close to the couple, you can buy an off-registry item that you know they will love.
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Gift cards and cash
Wedding gift-giving etiquette has evolved over time, and there are no hard and fast rules about what to give. The amount you spend on a wedding gift depends on your budget and your relationship with the couple. If you are close to the couple, you might decide to send a gift in the $50 to $100 range. For people you don't know as well, like co-workers, a gift from the registry for around $25 is more than appropriate.
If you are not close to the couple and cannot attend the wedding, you are not obligated to send a gift. However, if you are a family member, it is customary to send a small gift or contribute to a group gift or honeymoon fund. Friends who cannot attend can send a gift within their budget.
Cash is a perfectly acceptable gift and is often appreciated by the couple, who may be saving up for a large purchase or their honeymoon. If you are giving cash, it is best to send it shortly after receiving the wedding invitation or within three months of the wedding date. You can also contribute to a honeymoon fund or a general fund for a big-ticket item.
Gift cards are another option if you want to give the couple the flexibility to choose their gift. You can choose a gift card that aligns with their interests or a general-purpose gift card that can be used for a variety of purchases.
When giving cash or a gift card, it is essential to consider the couple's preferences and cultural background. Some couples may prefer to receive physical gifts, while others may be more comfortable with monetary gifts. It is also important to avoid writing the couple's new surname in the "to" field of a check.
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Sticking to the registry
The registry is also a great way to find gifts within your budget. With a range of items at different price points, you can choose something you know the couple will want without breaking the bank. This is especially helpful if you are attending multiple events, like a bridal shower and the wedding, where you may be expected to bring a separate gift for each.
If you are close to the couple, you might feel confident choosing an off-registry gift, and this is not considered rude. However, it is a risk, and you could end up buying them something they already have, don't need, or don't have space for. In this case, you could always add a small off-registry item to a gift you know they want from their list.
If you are not close to the couple, it is best to stick to the registry. This is a respectful way to ensure your gift is meaningful and wanted. It is also a great way to avoid any awkwardness if the couple doesn't love your gift.
If there is no registry, cash or a cheque is always a good option and is becoming increasingly common. This is especially true for destination weddings, as it saves the couple the logistical headache of shipping gifts back home.
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Group gifts
If you are close friends with the couple, you could consider getting together with other friends, bridesmaids, or groomsmen to choose something from the couple's registry that might be outside your usual budget. For example, you could get a set of matching drinkware, including champagne coupes and everyday water glasses. Most couples ask for four to eight of each type of glass, so this could be a perfect opportunity to treat the couple to a luxurious and extensive drinkware set.
Alternatively, you could pool your money and contribute to an experience, such as a spa package or their honeymoon fund. This is a thoughtful way to give the couple something memorable and enjoyable, and it can also be a more personal gift than simply giving money. If you know the couple well and think they would appreciate it, you could even offer to pay for an activity or experience on their honeymoon, such as a romantic dinner or an adventure trip.
If you are not very close to the couple, it is still possible to give a group gift. You could team up with other guests, especially coworkers, and choose something from the registry that is within your collective budget. This could be a smaller item, such as a stylish blender or a set of napkins, runners, and tablecloths. You could also give a group gift of money, which is always a welcome present, and perhaps put it towards a larger fund for a big-ticket item.
Remember, it is always a good idea to check the couple's wedding registry and follow their preferences. However, if you are close to the couple and know their tastes, an off-registry item that you are sure they will love can also be a wonderful surprise.
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When to send
There are various opinions on when to send a wedding gift. Some people believe that it is best to send a gift as soon as you receive the save-the-date or the invitation. According to WeddingWire, 31% of wedding guests purchased their gift a month or more before the wedding. This gives the couple time to write a thank-you note before the craziness of the big day.
On the other hand, it is more common for guests to send a gift the week before the wedding. In a WeddingWire survey, 37% of guests said they did this. From an etiquette perspective, it is fine to send a gift this close to the wedding, but the couple may not receive it until after they return from their honeymoon. If you are sending a physical gift, it is recommended to send it shortly after receiving the invitation or within three months of the wedding date. Ideally, your gift should arrive just before the wedding and not when the couple is away on their honeymoon.
If you are giving money as a gift, it is appropriate to bring a card with a cheque or cash to the wedding. If you are giving a cheque or cash, it is best to give it before the couple's honeymoon so that they can use it to pay for wedding expenses or put it towards their honeymoon fund.
While wedding gifts are not mandatory, they are appreciated and expected, especially if you are close to the couple. If you are unsure about what to give, you can refer to the couple's wedding registry for ideas. If you are concerned about your gift arriving on time, you can always send an online card and add a gift card as a thoughtful gesture. According to traditional etiquette, guests have up to a year after the wedding to send a gift.
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Frequently asked questions
The amount of money spent on a wedding gift varies depending on your budget and your relationship with the couple. For close friends and family, people tend to spend between $50 to $100, and for people you don't know as well, like co-workers, $25 is appropriate. However, it is not expected to spend $500 or more unless you are close friends or family.
It is recommended to stick to the couple's registry. However, if you are close to the couple, you can choose an off-registry item that you know they will love. Some gift ideas include drinkware, serveware, home decor, kitchen tools and accessories, and table linens. If the couple does not have a registry, you can gift them something thoughtful that they can eat or drink, mementos of the occasion, or items that fit their aesthetic.
Yes, it is perfectly acceptable to give money as a wedding gift. Couples may not be sure how to ask for money as a gift, but they would often love to. You can offer to give money toward their honeymoon fund, renovation project, or house deposit.
