Rhiannon Hendricks
Choosing what to wear to a friend's wedding can be a fun but challenging task. You want to look your best, but it's important to avoid upstaging the bride and respect the occasion. While weddings today have fewer fashion rules, there are still some guidelines to follow. Firstly, it is generally advised not to wear white, off-white, or colours that are too close to white, unless the bride specifically requests it. It is also important to avoid colours that match the wedding party. Other tips include choosing an outfit that suits your personal style, considering the venue and weather conditions, and balancing your look with accessories.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Dress code | Black-tie, semi-formal, casual, or costume party |
| Season | Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter |
| Time of day | Daytime, Evening |
| Weather | Hot, Cold, Rain, Snow, Wind |
| Venue | Ballroom, Beach, Winery, Church |
| Length | Floor-length, Tea-length, Knee-length, Midi |
| Color | Avoid white, pale colors, colors matching the wedding palette |
| Style | Gown, Jumpsuit, Cocktail dress, Pantsuit, Skirt and top |
| Fabric | Silk, organza, Chiffon, Crepe, Lace |
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What You'll Learn
What colours to avoid
When deciding what to wear to your friend's wedding, it's important to avoid certain colours so that you don't accidentally upstage the bridal party or commit a fashion faux pas. Here are some colours you may want to steer clear of:
White and similar hues
It is commonly known that wearing white to a wedding as a guest is a big no-no. This is because the bride usually wears white, and you don't want to risk upstaging her or getting mistaken for the bride. In addition to white, it's best to avoid any colours that could be mistaken for white or ivory, such as beige, ecru, champagne, eggshell, cream, and other super light colours. Pastel colours, such as ultra-pale yellow, pale grey, and misty ice blue, can also sometimes appear white, especially in certain lighting conditions or in sheer fabrics.
Colours that match the wedding party
If you know the colours of the bridal party's outfits, it's best to avoid those colours. This way, you won't risk looking like you're part of the bridal party or trying to steal their thunder. If you don't know anyone in the bridal party, you can try to gauge their colour palette from the wedding invitation, as couples often incorporate their chosen colours into their paper products.
Black
Black is considered a no-go at many weddings, as it can symbolise disapproval of the union. However, black is considered appropriate for weddings in some places, such as NYC, especially for evening weddings as it is seen as a formal colour.
Red
Red is a colour to avoid, as it will stand out in pictures and is reserved for the bride in some cultures and regions.
Neon colours
Neon colours can look too casual and sporty for a wedding. They tend to draw a lot of attention, so if you want to blend in more, it's best to opt for a deep colour or a classic neutral.
Denim and glitter
While denim jackets may be appropriate as outerwear, denim pants, skirts, overalls, and dresses are usually considered inappropriate for a wedding unless otherwise noted by the couple. Similarly, glittery and shimmering fabrics are often chosen by brides for their wedding party or dress, so it's best to avoid these as a guest to ensure you don't draw attention away from the happy couple.
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Dress codes explained
White-tie: This is the most formal wedding attire. Women should wear a formal floor-length evening gown with jewellery, heels, and a clutch. Men should wear a tuxedo with tails, a formal white shirt, a vest, a bow tie, white or grey gloves, and formal footwear such as derby shoes or oxfords.
Black-tie: This is a formal, evening event. Men should wear a tuxedo, preferably with patent leather shoes and a black tie. In summer, a white jacket with tuxedo pants is also acceptable. Women should wear a floor-length gown, a fancy cocktail dress, or a dressy pantsuit.
Black-tie optional: This is slightly less formal than black-tie. Men can wear a tuxedo or a dark suit with dress pants and nice loafers. Women can wear a floor-length gown, a cocktail dress, or a dressy pantsuit. It is more acceptable to wear a dress that shows the ankles.
Cocktail attire: This is a step below black-tie optional and is a balance between elegant and comfortable. Guests have more flexibility with hemlines, colours, and patterns. Women can wear a short cocktail dress or an elegant jumpsuit with jewellery. Men can wear a suit and tie with a crisp black or white shirt and dress pants.
Semi-formal: This is less formal than cocktail attire and can be tough to interpret. It is generally more formal than black-tie optional.
Casual: For women, a sundress, a high-low dress, or a jumpsuit are good options. Men can wear a navy blazer, a blue button-down shirt, or khaki pants. A tie and pocket square will complete the look.
Other dress codes: Some weddings may have creative dress codes like "whimsical garden party" or "tropical formal". In these cases, it is best to refer to the couple's wedding website for more information.
General guidelines: It is important to respect the ceremony and the couple getting married. Do not wear white (unless specifically requested by the bride), avoid revealing clothing, and stay away from colours that match the wedding party. Consider the location, weather, and your knowledge of the couple when choosing your outfit.
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Weather considerations
Season and Temperature
Consider the season and temperature when choosing a dress for an outdoor wedding. For example, if the wedding is in the summer, opt for lightweight and breathable fabrics to stay cool. On the other hand, if the wedding is in the winter, choose warmer materials, and perhaps consider a longer dress.
Wind
If the wedding is outdoors, be mindful of the wind. Avoid very flowy or short dresses that might cause an embarrassing moment. A dress that's knee-length or midi might be a better option.
Rain and Snow
Always check the weather forecast and prepare for potential rain or snow. Choose a dress made from a fabric that dries quickly if there's a chance of rain. You might also want to bring an umbrella or a raincoat to protect your outfit. If it's going to snow, ensure you dress warmly and consider the length of your dress to keep your legs warm.
Evening Chill
Even if the wedding is during the day, the temperature can drop significantly in the evening, especially at outdoor venues. Bring a stylish jacket, shawl, or cardigan to stay warm without compromising your look.
Humidity and Sweat
If the wedding is in a humid climate or during a hot summer day, choose a dress that won't show sweat marks. Opt for fabrics that are breathable and comfortable.
Remember, it's essential to strike a balance between adhering to the dress code and being comfortable in the given weather conditions. Don't be afraid to reach out to the bridal party or the couple for clarification on the dress code if you're unsure.
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Dress styles
When choosing a dress to wear to your friend's wedding, it's important to consider the dress code, the venue, and the level of formality. Here are some ideas for dress styles to consider:
- Cocktail Dresses: A cocktail dress is a versatile option and can be dressed up or down depending on the wedding's formality. A nice cocktail dress with a pair of strappy sandal heels is a safe choice for most weddings. If you want to add a bit of glamour, consider a dress with a deep neckline, but balance it out with thicker straps or a floor-length skirt.
- Midi Dresses: Midi dresses are a popular choice for wedding guests. They come in various styles, such as the "La Lune" bias cowl midi dress in Blue Smoke by Shona Joy or the "Lily" midi dress in Cashmere Blue by V. Chapman. These dresses offer a sophisticated and elegant look.
- Jumpsuits: If you want to step away from the traditional dress, a well-chosen jumpsuit can be a fun alternative. Look for something different from your everyday jumpsuit, perhaps in a sequined or velvet fabric. A good example is the "Aimee" jumpsuit by Susana Monaco, which offers a modern and stylish look.
- Long Dresses: While some people suggest avoiding floor-length dresses to prevent looking like a bridesmaid, others argue that you can wear a long dress as long as you style it differently. Avoid solid colours and the wedding colour palette, and consider pairing your dress with wedges, sandals, or a statement bag to make it more casual and unique.
- Seasonal and Venue-Appropriate Dresses: Consider the season and venue of the wedding when choosing your dress. For outdoor weddings, opt for flats or wedged heels to avoid sinking into the grass. A dark floral wrap dress is a good choice for autumn and winter weddings, while spring and summer call for lighter colours and fabrics.
- Statement Accessories: While the dress is important, don't underestimate the power of accessories. A great pendant necklace, statement earrings, or a bold cuff can elevate your look and make it feel fresh. Additionally, a pair of nude pumps or a sleek wedge are classic shoe choices that go with almost any dress.
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Accessories
Shoes
Flat shoes, wedged heels, or block heel sandals are ideal, especially for outdoor weddings. Stilettos, pump heels, and kitten heels may sink into the grass or dirt, causing an unnecessary hassle. A great pair of nude pumps is a versatile option that will go with any dress and is suitable for most wedding venues. If you're looking for something more unique, consider a strappy muted metallic heel, which will complement any dress colour.
Jewellery
Jewellery can complete your outfit and make a statement. Consider a bold necklace or earrings to accentuate the neckline of your dress. Meaghan Rose, the founder and CEO of Rocksbox, suggests that "you can have a beautiful dress, but having the perfect earrings or a necklace to compliment the neckline of your outfit pulls everything together." If you want to keep it simple, a pair of sleek earrings or a delicate necklace can add a touch of elegance without being too flashy.
Scarves and Pashminas
If the wedding is during colder months or if you get chilly easily, a black cashmere pashmina is a stylish and practical accessory. It will keep you warm during the ceremony and can be easily removed during the reception if desired.
Handbags
A handbag that matches your dress is a functional accessory. It will hold your essentials and add a polished touch to your overall look. Consider a clutch or a small crossbody bag that won't overwhelm your outfit but will complement it instead.
Belts
A belt can be a fun way to accentuate your waist and add a touch of personality to your outfit. A colourful belt or one with an interesting buckle can be a great way to showcase your style.
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Frequently asked questions
It is recommended that you avoid wearing white to a wedding. Lighter colours tend to photograph white, so it is best to stay away from colours like pale blue. You should also avoid colours that match the wedding party unless otherwise stated.
It is important to stick to the dress code, but you can still express your personal style. If you want to wear a black dress, make it versatile so that you can dress it up or down with accessories. If you want to wear a floor-length dress, avoid solid colours and anything in the wedding colour palette. If you're attending an outdoor wedding, wear flats or wedged heels/sandals.
You could try a velvet dark floral wrap dress, a 1950s-style dress with a willow pattern, or a "Lily" midi dress in Cashmere Blue.
A great pair of nude pumps or sleek wedges are always a good choice. If you want to wear heels to an outdoor wedding, buy little plastic caps to go over the ends of your heels to stop them from sinking into the ground.
