The Freedom Of "I Do": Exploring Non-Denominational Weddings

A non-denominational wedding is a ceremony that does not include religious practices or traditions. Typically, couples would get married within their denomination, or their variety of religion. However, a non-denominational wedding is not bound to any specific religious denomination. This type of wedding is ideal for couples who do not regularly attend church or have different religious backgrounds, as it offers flexibility and customisation. A non-denominational wedding can still be romantic and spiritual, with readings, rituals, and vows that are meaningful to the couple.

Non-denominational wedding vows

A non-denominational wedding is a ceremony that does not include religious practices or traditions. This type of wedding is suitable for couples who do not prioritise religion and instead wish to create a custom script for a meaningful celebration.

A Promise of Love

"I promise to love you, to protect and care for you, and to be patient and understanding, to support you, and to always be faithful to you. I will be your friend and companion, and I will share my life with you, through good times and bad times, as long as we both shall live."

Frau Ava’s Declaration of Love

Partner 1: "In your eyes, I have found my home. In your heart, I have found my love. In your soul, I have found my mate. With you, I am whole, full, alive. You make me laugh. You let me cry. You are my breath, my every heartbeat. I am yours. You are mine. Of this we are certain. You are lodged in my heart. The small key is lost. You must stay there forever."

Partner 2: "You are my inspiration and my soul’s fire. You are the magic of my days. You help me laugh, you teach me love. You provide a safe place for me, unlike I’ve ever known. You free me to sing my own song. You are more of an amazement to me, each day I rediscover you. You are my greatest boon. I am yours. You are mine. Of this we are certain. You are lodged in my heart. The small key is lost. You must stay there forever."

Simple Yet Meaningful Vows

"I, [name], in the presence of these witnesses, take you, [name], to be my husband / wife / partner, and solemnly pledge my loyalty and love to you, so long as we both live."

Non-Religious Traditional Vow

"I choose you, [name], to be my wife / husband / partner, as my friend and love. On this day I affirm the relationship we have enjoyed, looking to the future, and to keep and strengthen it. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. Together, we will dream and live as one, respecting one another. We will stumble but restore each other, and we will share all things. I will cherish, comfort, and encourage you, be open with you, and stay with you as long as I shall live."

Promise to Preserve Today’s Love

"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my husband / wife / partner. To share all that I am and all that I have, for all time to come. And I promise to do all in my power to keep my love as deep and as strong as it is today."

Not Vows but Privileges

"I see these vows not as promises but as privileges: I get to laugh with you and cry with you; care for you and share with you. I get to run with you and walk with you; build with you and live with you."

Romantic Vows from E. E. Cummings

Partner 1: "I carry your heart with me"

Partner 2: "I carry it in my heart"

Partner 1: "I am never without it"

Partner 2: "Anywhere I go, you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling"

Partner 1: "I fear no fate"

Partner 2: "For you are my fate, my sweet"

Partner 1: "I want no world"

Partner 2: "For beautiful you are my world, my true"

Partner 1: "And it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows"

Partner 2: "Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope, or mind can hide"

Partner 1: "And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart I carry your heart"

Partner 2: "I carry it in my heart."

Non-denominational wedding attire

A non-denominational wedding is a ceremony that doesn't necessarily have a religious tone, but it can include some religious references if the couple chooses. A non-denominational wedding officiant is usually independent and non-religious, giving them more freedom and flexibility to personalise the ceremony.

Now, what does this mean for wedding attire?

Well, for one, there are fewer rules and more freedom. However, it's still respectful to keep in mind that this is a sacred occasion and to dress accordingly. It's also good to keep in mind that weddings are about celebrating the couple, so guests should avoid wearing white or anything that could be seen as upstaging the couple.

For women, a good rule of thumb is to wear something that aligns with the temperature and the formality of the event. For a summer wedding, lighter fabrics like cotton and linen are a good choice. For a winter wedding, thicker fabrics like velvet are more appropriate. As for style, a good middle ground between elegant and comfortable is a tea-length, knee-length, or midi dress. If you want to wear pants, a polished blouse and tailored trousers or a pantsuit are a great option.

For men, a suit and tie are generally a safe choice, regardless of the setting. For a more casual wedding, a dress shirt and slacks can work, with the option to wear a tie.

Of course, every wedding is different, and it's always a good idea to consider the location, time of day, and any dress code specified by the couple. If in doubt, don't be afraid to reach out to the couple or members of the wedding party for guidance.

Non-denominational wedding activities

A non-denominational wedding is a ceremony that does not include religious practices or traditions. The couple may still be religious, but their wedding ceremony is not tied to a specific denomination within that religion.

Live Music

Including live music in your wedding ceremony is a great way to set the tone for your special day. You could opt for a string trio or quartet, a harpist, or a solo guitarist. You can also select songs that are meaningful to you, such as those by Vitamin String Quartet or The Piano Guys.

Special Readings

Instead of religious readings, you could incorporate song lyrics, movie quotes, poems, or love letters into your ceremony. For instance, anything by Zelda Fitzgerald or an excerpt from a children's book.

Unity Ceremony

You could perform a unity ceremony, such as candle lighting, sand pouring, tree planting, rope braiding, or passing out roses to your family in the front row, to symbolise the two of you becoming one.

Personalised Vows

Writing your own vows allows you to make promises to your new spouse, from the silly to the serious. You can also include spiritual beliefs, poetry, lyrics, or meaningful quotes.

Musical Interludes

Asking a friend or family member to sing or play a song during your unity ceremony is another way to add a personal touch to your wedding.

Gratitude List

You could make a gratitude list, thanking your attendees, wedding party, and vendors for being a part of your big day. Alternatively, you can list all the things you're grateful for about your partner.

Pet Participation

If your pets are an important part of your life, you can include them in your wedding ceremony by placing special collars on them after exchanging your rings.

Plant a Tree

As your love grows, so will a tree that you plant at your home. This can become a part of your view for many years to come.

Non-denominational wedding officiants

A non-denominational wedding is a ceremony that does not include religious practices or traditions. Couples who opt for a non-denominational wedding may identify as atheists or want to avoid the complications of representing both of their faiths.

A non-denominational wedding officiant is a lay minister recognised by a non-denominational church or a credible online source. They are legally authorised to solemnise the marriage of couples who do not subscribe to any particular religion or denomination.

Some non-denominational wedding officiants are interfaith ministers who can incorporate spiritual elements into the ceremony without adhering to a specific religious tradition. For example, Rev. Kate Adamson, an interfaith wedding officiant based in Charlottesville, Virginia, offers ceremonies with meaning, beauty, and laughter. She works with couples who seek a creative and personal wedding that reflects their individual beliefs and values.

When choosing a non-denominational wedding officiant, it is important to consider their ability to personalise the ceremony, as well as their experience and reviews from past clients. The cost of hiring a non-denominational wedding officiant can vary depending on the level of customisation, the date and time of the ceremony, and the travel required.

Non-denominational wedding destinations

A non-denominational wedding is a ceremony that does not include religious practices or traditions. This means that the structure usually provided by religion is not present, and the couple must create their own ceremony outline, activities, and vows.

If flying abroad isn't an option, there are plenty of ways to create a far-and-wide feeling locally. Gardens, beaches, museums, country clubs, vineyards, and golf courses all provide beautiful backdrops for photos and can add to the whimsical atmosphere of the day.

• Beaches: Whether it's a tropical paradise or a quaint coastal town, beaches offer a beautiful backdrop for a non-denominational wedding. The sound of the waves, the sea breeze, and the sand between your toes can create a romantic and relaxed atmosphere.
• Vineyards: Surrounded by lush vineyards and with the backdrop of rolling hills, a winery can be an elegant and charming choice for a non-denominational wedding. Many vineyards offer wedding packages and can provide a unique and memorable experience.
• Museums: For a unique and cultural experience, consider a museum as your wedding destination. Whether it's an art gallery, a historical museum, or a science centre, museums offer a wealth of interesting backdrops for your ceremony and photos.
• National parks: With their stunning natural scenery, national parks can be an ideal choice for couples who love the outdoors. From majestic mountains to lush forests, there are countless options to choose from, and the natural setting can enhance the solemnity of the occasion.
• Historic sites: Consider a historic site, such as a castle, an old mansion, or a historic garden, for your non-denominational wedding. These locations often offer a sense of grandeur and can provide a unique glimpse into the past.
• Urban rooftops: For a modern and sleek option, consider an urban rooftop venue. With city skylines as your backdrop, this choice can be especially stunning at sunset or with night-time city lights.

No matter the destination, non-denominational weddings allow couples to express their love and commitment in a way that is meaningful to them, creating a ceremony that is both romantic and spiritual.

Frequently asked questions