Crafting The Perfect Wedding Invitation: A Guide To Getting The Words Right

Wedding invitations are an important piece of the planning puzzle. They convey critical information and set the tone for the wedding. The essentials of a wedding invitation are:

- A host line: This is where you list who's hosting the wedding (i.e. paying for it). If the couple is hosting, the host line can be omitted.

- A request line: This is where you invite your guests to join your wedding celebration.

- The couple's names: The names of the couple are usually displayed in larger text and sometimes in a fancy typeface.

- Date, time, and location of the ceremony: Include the wedding date, start time, and venue.

- Reception details: If the ceremony and reception are at the same venue, say reception to follow. If the reception is elsewhere, include the full address on a separate card.

- Optional dress code: Including dress code information is helpful but not compulsory.

The wording of your wedding invitation should reflect the overall vibe of your wedding day. It can be formal, fun, casual, creative, modern, or simple.

Host Line: Who is hosting the wedding?

The host line is the first line of a wedding invitation and is dedicated to the host of the wedding, also known as the party covering the expenses. Traditionally, the bride's parents pay for the wedding, but nowadays, the groom's parents, the couple themselves, or a combination of all three may contribute.

How to Write the Host Line

The host line is where you list who's hosting the wedding (i.e., who is paying for it). If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, you can omit the host line or start the invitation with a warm and welcoming introduction, such as "Together with full hearts" or "With hearts full of love and joy".

If the couple is paying for the wedding together with financial contributions from both sets of parents, you can list all parents' names or opt for something simpler like "Together with their parents" or "Together with their families".

• The word "and" between two names traditionally implies that those people are married.
• Hosts who are not married should be on separate lines.
• If the parents are divorced and you want to include both as hosts, keep each parent on a separate line.
• If you want to include a stepparent's name, keep it on the same line as their partner.
• Names should not be listed in order of who paid more.

If you want to include the name of a deceased parent, you'll need to rearrange things a bit, as someone who has passed can't serve as a host. A common way to honour a deceased parent is to include their name alongside one of the couple's names, for example, "Lauren Martinez, daughter of Marta Martinez" or "Lauren Martinez, daughter of Robert Martinez and the late Marta Martinez".

Examples of Host Line Wording

One Set of Parents Hosting (Married)

Include the parents' full names, with middle names for very formal weddings, and never their initials. If they have different last names, write "and" to join the two names.

• Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Timothy Williams (very formal; the middle name is included)
• Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Williams (formal)
• Mr. and Mrs. Christopher and Sarah Williams (formal; includes both first names)
• Christopher and Sarah Williams (less formal)

One Set of Parents Hosting (Divorced)

Include the mother's name first, followed by the father's name. Do not use "and" to connect the two names; instead, give each name its own line.

Both Sets of Parents Hosting

For different-sex couples, list the bride's parents' names at the top of the invite, followed by the groom's parents' names. For same-sex couples, list the names according to preference or in the order that looks best with the invitation design.

• Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Wong and Mr. and Mrs. Adam Hollis (formal)
• Aaron and Alisha Wong together with Adam and Beatrice Hollis (less formal)

Couple Is Hosting

If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, you can skip the host line or start with a warm and welcoming introduction.

• Together with full hearts
• With hearts full of love and joy

Couple Is Hosting with Their Families

When the couple and both of their families are contributing to the cost of the wedding, many choose to add a line such as "Together with their families" as the host line.

• Together with their families
• Together with our families
• Together with their parents

Request Line: How to invite your guests to the wedding

The request line is where you extend the invitation to your wedding celebration. This is where you get to set the tone for your big day. If you're planning a formal, religious ceremony, you might want to use more traditional language, such as "request the honour of your presence". For a non-religious ceremony or a more casual wedding, you can opt for more relaxed language, such as "invite you to celebrate with them" or "would love for you to join them".

• "Request the pleasure of your company"
• "Cordially invite you to attend"
• "Would be delighted by your presence"
• "Invite you to their wedding"
• "Invite you to share in the festivities"
• "Would love your presence"

If you're going for a fun or creative theme, feel free to get inventive with your request line. For example, "Good food, good drinks, good friends. Jack Smith & Mason Kim request you celebrate with them as they get hitched".

The request line is also where you can include the names of the couple. For heterosexual couples, the bride's name typically comes first, followed by the groom's. For same-sex couples, you can go in alphabetical order or choose the order that sounds and looks best.

How to Format Names

• Capitalise proper names and titles.
• Don't use punctuation, except after courtesy titles.
• Avoid abbreviations; spell everything out except courtesy titles.
• Don't spell out courtesy titles, except for "Doctor" in the case of medical doctors.
• Consider using both partners' full legal names. If you prefer to go by a nickname, use it on the save-the-date or other less formal pieces of the invitation suite.
• Drop middle names if the line becomes too long.

How to Include the Date, Time and Location

Be sure to include the date, start time and location of the ceremony, so your guests know where and when to show up.

For formal invitations, spell out the date and time in full. For example, "Saturday, the fifteenth of September, two thousand twenty-one, at half after four in the afternoon". The day of the week and the month should be capitalised. The year should be in lowercase.

For casual invitations, it's fine to use numerals. For example, "Saturday, Sept 15, 2021, 4:00 pm".

The street address of the venue is usually only included for destination weddings or out-of-town guests. The city and state/county should be written out in full.

How to Include Reception Details

If the ceremony and reception are at the same location, you can simply add "Reception to follow" or "Dinner and dancing to follow". If the reception is at a different venue, include the address on a separate line or on a separate card for formal invitations.

Include the time if the reception isn't immediately after the ceremony.

How to Include Dress Code and RSVP Details

The dress code and RSVP details are usually included in the lower right-hand corner of the invitation. If you don't include this information, the style of the invitation itself will indicate the dress code to your guests.

Most couples include a separate response card for guests to fill out and return, or they may have people RSVP via a wedding website.

Couple's Names: Whose wedding is it?

The couple's names are one of the most important elements of a wedding invitation. This is where you and your partner take centre stage. The names may be placed high, low, or centre depending on the invitation design, but they should always be clearly legible and prominently featured.

For heterosexual couples, the bride's name typically comes before the groom's. However, this tradition is not applicable for same-sex couples, and the order of names is instead often decided by alphabetical order or what sounds better.

If you are using traditional wedding invitation wording, follow these rules to format names:

• Capitalise proper names and titles.
• Don't use punctuation, except after courtesy titles.
• Avoid abbreviations; in general, spell everything out except courtesy titles.
• Don't spell out courtesy titles, except for "Doctor" in the case of medical doctors.
• Consider using both partners' full legal names. If you prefer to go by a nickname, use it on the save-the-date or other less formal pieces of the invitation suite.
• Drop the bride's and/or groom's middle names if they become too long to fit on one line.

If you are hosting the wedding yourselves, then it is up to you to decide whose name comes first. You can also choose to omit the host line entirely.

• "Together with their families, Emma and Jax request the pleasure of your company..."
• "Julia French, daughter of Mr. Adam French and the late Iris French, and Austin Mahoney, son of Mr. Camden and Elizabeth Mahoney, request the honour of your presence at their wedding..."
• "Ava Edwards and Nicholas Eckerd request the honour of your presence at the celebration of their union..."
• "Sophia Devine and Matthew Johnson invite you to join them as they exchange vows..."
• "Chloe Marie Sinclair & Matthew James Denton have the honour of announcing their marriage..."

Date, Time, and Location: When and where is the wedding?

The date, time, and location are essential components of a wedding invitation. This section will provide detailed guidelines on how to format this information effectively.

Date

When writing the date, it is customary to spell out the numbers and use a hyphen for compound dates. For example, "Saturday, the twenty-eighth of May" or "Saturday, the 28th of May". The day of the week and the month should be capitalised, while the year and numerical date are not. You can also choose to omit the year if desired.

For a more casual wedding, you may use a more informal format, such as "Saturday, May 28th, 2023". Consistency is key, so ensure that the date formatting matches the style of your invitation.

Time

The time should also be spelled out in full for formal weddings, using phrases like "half after four o'clock" or simply "four o'clock". Avoid using "o'clock" for times that are not on the hour. For casual weddings, it is acceptable to use numerals, such as "4:00 pm" or "5:30 pm".

It is important to specify "morning," "afternoon," or "evening" to provide clarity for your guests. Morning is considered to be up until noon, afternoon is from noon to 5:00 pm, and evening is any time after 5:00 pm. However, some sources suggest that evening begins at 6:00 pm.

Location

The location section should include the name of the venue and the city and state where the wedding will take place. It is generally not necessary to include the street address unless it is needed for clarification or the wedding is held at a private residence. The city and state should always be spelled out in full.

For very formal invitations, you may want to include the location information on a separate card. If the ceremony and reception are in the same location, you can simply write "reception to follow" or "dinner and dancing to follow". However, if the reception is at a different location, it should be listed on a separate line or card.

"On Saturday, the twenty-eighth of May, at half after four o'clock in the afternoon

The Ritz-Carlton

1234 Main Street

Seattle, Washington

Reception to follow"

For a more casual wedding, you might format it like this:

"Saturday, May 28th at 4:30 pm

The Ritz-Carlton

1234 Main St

Seattle, WA

Dinner and dancing to follow"

Reception Information: What happens after the ceremony?

The reception is the time to showcase your party-planning skills and is often the most daunting part of planning a wedding. It's also the part that guests look forward to the most! It's a time to celebrate the newly married couple and is usually held after the completion of the marriage ceremony.

The reception can take many forms, from a formal sit-down meal to a cocktail hour with canapes, or even a full-blown party with a DJ and dancing. It's up to the married couple to choose the details and location, but here are some ideas to get you started:

• Photos: If you're having formal photos taken, it's a good idea to do this straight after the ceremony while your guests are enjoying cocktails and canapes. This will take between 1-2 hours, so it's a good idea to provide some entertainment for your guests during this time, such as a string quartet.
• Cocktail Hour: This is a great way to keep your guests entertained while you're having your photos taken. It can be as simple as providing drinks and canapes, or you could include some light entertainment.
• The Wedding Breakfast: This is usually a sit-down meal with three courses: a starter, main course, and dessert or wedding cake. It's also an opportunity for the newlyweds to greet each guest as they enter the room, and for guests to give their congratulations.
• Speeches and Toasts: These can take place before, during, or after the dessert course and are usually given by the groom, the best man, and the father of the bride. However, at modern weddings, you may also wish to include speeches from the bride and maid of honour.
• Room Turnaround: After the wedding breakfast, it will take caterers and venue staff around 30 minutes to an hour to clean up and prepare for the evening reception. This is a good time for guests to freshen up or change into more comfortable clothes, or to welcome evening-only guests.
• The Grand Entrance: Once the room is ready and evening guests have arrived, the coordinator or MC will introduce the married couple for the first time as a married couple. This is a magical moment and is usually followed by the couple's first dance.
• The Cake Cutting: This often takes place at the start of the evening reception, especially if you have a lot of evening-only guests. It's a great photo opportunity!
• The First Dance: This marks the beginning of the dancing and drinking portion of the evening and usually lasts around 3-5 minutes.
• The Parent Dances: This is an optional step, but it's traditional for the bride and her father, and the groom and his mother, to have a dance together.
• The Party: This is your chance to let your hair down! Provide a buffet or other catering, and get your guests up and dancing. This can last for 3-5 hours and is a great opportunity to include some unique entertainment, such as a live band, magicians, or fire artists.
• The Farewell: Your venue will let you know when it's time to wrap things up, usually between 11 pm and 1 am. This is when guests will gather to see you off, often with confetti or bubbles.

Remember, these are just suggestions, and you can tailor your reception to suit your style and budget. The most important thing is to keep your guests fed, watered, and entertained!

Frequently asked questions