Junior Rasmussen
Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour and a big responsibility. While the main duty of a bridesmaid is to support the bride, there are many other tasks that are involved in the role. From attending pre-wedding events to helping with practical tasks, bridesmaids play a vital role in the lead-up to the wedding. In the days and weeks before the wedding, bridesmaids should be prepared to lend an ear to the bride, offer emotional support, and help with planning and organising pre-wedding celebrations. This might include chipping in for the cost of events, buying gifts, and offering to help the maid of honour. It's also important for bridesmaids to stay positive and be proactive in offering assistance, within reason.
What You'll Learn
Help plan the bridal shower and bachelorette party
Planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party is one of the most important bridesmaid duties. The maid of honour will typically take the lead, but as a bridesmaid, you should support her efforts. Here are some ways you can help:
Help with Planning
If the bridal shower and bachelorette party are being held at someone's house, you can help with the decorations. You can also arrive early to greet guests and help with hostess duties. If the events are being held at a venue, you can research and suggest options to the maid of honour. If the bachelorette party is a destination event, you can volunteer to coordinate flights and hotels for the bridal party.
Help with the Costs
It is customary for bridesmaids to chip in for the costs of the bridal shower and bachelorette party. If you are on a limited budget, be upfront about it and set a budget with the other bridesmaids. You can also suggest that the mother of the bride or groom contributes funds for the bridal shower.
Help with the Logistics
You can help the maid of honour keep a record of the gifts and RSVPs for the parties. If you have spreadsheet skills, you can also design a detailed itinerary for the bachelorette party.
Attend the Events
Unless you have a very good reason, you should be present at the bridal shower and bachelorette party. If you cannot afford the travel plans, you may be able to bow out and send a small gift or card instead.
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Be there for the bride and maid of honour
Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities. Here are some ways you can be there for the bride and maid of honour before the wedding:
Emotional Support
Planning a wedding can be stressful, so it's important to provide emotional support to the bride and maid of honour. Be there to listen to their concerns and offer a helping hand whenever possible.
Be Proactive and Positive
Be available and present throughout the entire planning process. Offer your help early on and be proactive in your support. Stay positive and upbeat, even when problems arise. Be flexible and patient, and always focus on keeping the bride calm and relaxed.
Help with Planning
While it's not your wedding, you can still lend a hand with planning and organising pre-wedding events, like the bridal shower and bachelorette party. Offer to help the maid of honour, who usually takes the lead on these tasks. This could include making reservations, buying decorations, or creating a detailed itinerary for the group.
Attend Pre-Wedding Events
Attend as many pre-wedding events as possible, including the engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party, and rehearsal dinner. Your presence and support at these events will mean a lot to the bride and maid of honour.
Financial Support
Planning a wedding can be expensive, so if you can afford it, consider chipping in financially for the pre-wedding activities. You could also go in on a group gift for the couple with the other bridesmaids.
Keep the Bride Calm on the Wedding Day
On the day of the wedding, do your best to keep the bride calm and happy. Tell funny stories, play their favourite tunes, and keep any stressful situations at bay. Make sure they stay hydrated and have something to eat, especially if they're too nervous to remember!
Remember, being a bridesmaid is about supporting the bride and maid of honour in any way you can. Offer a helping hand, a listening ear, and a positive attitude throughout the entire process.
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Offer to help with planning
Offering to help with planning is a key part of being a bridesmaid. While it's not your wedding, and you don't need to get into the nitty-gritty, there are still plenty of ways you can help the couple and the maid of honour.
Firstly, you can help the engaged couple search for wedding vendors. This might include caterers, photographers, florists, or bands. You could also assist with other planning-related tasks, such as putting together welcome bags or assembling DIY centrepieces. Just make sure that helping doesn't take over your life!
Secondly, if there are pre-wedding events such as a bridal shower or a bachelorette party, you should support the maid of honour's efforts. This could include offering event-planning assistance, such as coordinating flights and hotels for a destination bachelorette party. You should also chip in financially for these events if you can.
Thirdly, you can help the bride with choosing her attire for the wedding weekend. This could include joining her for wedding dress shopping appointments or giving your opinion on different outfit options. If the bride asks for your help, you can also chime in respectfully on ideas for the bridesmaids' attire, hair, or makeup.
Finally, you can help to keep the bride calm and happy in the lead-up to the wedding. This could be as simple as making time to meet for coffee, or writing funny wedding party bios for the couple's wedding website. Remember, good friends make great bridesmaids!
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Book travel and accommodation
As a bridesmaid, you'll want to book any travel and accommodation as soon as you have the finalised wedding date. This includes booking any flights and overnight accommodations, especially if the wedding is not local to you. It's also a good idea to ask the couple about any rehearsal dinner and post-wedding brunch plans so you can be present for those, too.
If you're travelling as a group, you could look into group discounts for your accommodation. If you're driving, figure out how you'll get from place to place during the festivities.
If you're getting ready with the bride and other bridesmaids, you'll want to book accommodation nearby so you can be there on time. If you're getting ready early in the morning, you might want to book a room for the night before.
If you're concerned about the cost of travel and accommodation, it's a good idea to be transparent with the bride about your circumstances. You could suggest other ways you can support the bride and offer to help with certain planning duties or day-of tasks.
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Buy your bridesmaid dress, shoes and accessories
As a bridesmaid, you'll want to ensure that you have everything you need for the wedding, including your dress, shoes, and accessories. Here are some tips to keep in mind:
Buying your bridesmaid dress
It is important to choose your bridesmaid dress early on. In most cases, the couple will provide guidelines on what to wear, and you might even go shopping as a group with the other bridesmaids. Whether you're wearing matching dresses or picking your own attire, it's best to get this done early in case alterations are needed or special items need to be ordered. Be mindful of the cost and speak up if the dress is outside your budget. Remember, it is generally expected that each bridesmaid pays for her own dress.
Selecting your shoes and accessories
When it comes to shoes, the bride may request that you pick a specific pair or colour. If you're unsure, don't be afraid to ask for clarification. Additionally, consider the accessories you'll need, such as jewellery, a clutch, and any undergarments or shapewear. Again, keep your budget in mind and only spend what you're comfortable with.
Dealing with potential issues
To avoid last-minute stress, don't wait until the last minute to order your dress, shoes, and accessories. It's also a good idea to have a backup plan in case of any emergencies. For example, you might want to bring safety pins, double-stick tape, or a mini sewing kit to address any wardrobe malfunctions.
Staying organised
To stay organised, create a checklist of everything you need to buy or pack for the wedding. This includes not only your bridesmaid dress, shoes, and accessories but also any other items you might need for the wedding day and related events.
Communicating with the bride and other bridesmaids
Throughout the process, maintain open communication with the bride and the other bridesmaids. If you have any questions or concerns, don't hesitate to reach out. It's also a good idea to offer your help and support to the bride and the maid of honour, especially if they need assistance with planning or organising events.
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Frequently asked questions
The bridesmaids are responsible for supporting the bride and maid of honor with wedding planning and pre-wedding events. This includes offering emotional support, attending dress fittings, and helping to plan and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party. They should also be prepared to chip in for any group gifts and offer to assist with tasks like assembling invitations and favours.
Bridesmaids are usually expected to cover the cost of their own travel, accommodation, attire, and accessories. They may also be asked to contribute financially to pre-wedding events and chip in for gifts. It is important to communicate honestly and set clear expectations from the beginning to avoid any financial strain.
On the wedding day, bridesmaids should be prepared to help with any last-minute tasks, such as receiving deliveries and ensuring the bride has everything she needs. They should also be ready to greet guests, direct them as needed, and encourage guests to join in on the dance floor. Additionally, they may be asked to help with the bride's gown, accompany her to the restroom, and ensure she has food and water throughout the day.
Bridesmaids are expected to give a wedding gift to the couple. While it is good etiquette to give a gift, it is not expected to be expensive. Group gifts or handmade items are also acceptable. As for speeches, the maid of honour, best man, and parents typically give speeches, but the couple may request a bridesmaid to speak as well.
Knowing and following the wedding timeline is crucial for bridesmaids. They should be punctual, attend the rehearsal dinner, and be prepared to answer basic questions from vendors. It is their job to make the couple's day as smooth as possible, so being aware of the schedule and their responsibilities is essential.
