Deborah Chan
Deciding whether to invite children to a wedding can be a tricky issue. Some couples opt for an 'adults-only' wedding, but the definition of an adult can vary. In some places, the legal drinking age is 19, so some couples may choose to set the age limit at 19 or over. In other places, the legal drinking age is 18, so an 'adults-only' wedding may be interpreted as 18 or over. Some couples may even set the age limit at 21 or over to ensure a more mature and formal atmosphere. Deciding on the age limit can be challenging, especially when considering the maturity and behaviour of children and teenagers, as well as the potential for higher costs associated with catering for younger guests. Ultimately, the decision rests with the couple, and clear communication about the age limit on invitations is essential to avoid confusion and ensure a smooth wedding planning process.
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What You'll Learn
Child vs adult
When it comes to weddings, the age bracket of those considered children varies depending on the couple and the context. Some couples choose to set an age limit for their wedding, with the most common age limit being 18 and over. This limit is often chosen because 18 is the legal drinking age in many places, and the presence of alcohol can influence the atmosphere and the behaviour of guests. Some couples opt for a 21 and over limit for the same reason, and others choose to set the limit at 16 or 15.
The age of guests can also be influenced by the venue and activities. One couple chose a limit of 21 and over because their wedding was in the French Quarter, where there was partial nudity, drunkenness, and other activities that were not child-friendly. Another couple chose to set a limit of 15 and over due to space limitations at their venue.
The cost of catering for children can also influence the age bracket, as children's meals are often cheaper, but some children eat a lot and may prefer adult meals. Some couples choose to avoid this issue by not inviting children at all, or by only inviting children who are close family members.
The behaviour of children is another factor that influences the age of guests. Some couples do not want misbehaving children at their wedding, while others are happy to have children of all ages in attendance.
Ultimately, the decision of who to invite to a wedding is up to the couple, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of what age counts as an adult.
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Age limit wording
Deciding on an age limit for a wedding reception is a tricky task. Some people consider anyone under 18 to be a child, as they are not yet a legal adult. However, some people draw the line at 21, especially if there is an open bar at the reception. Others suggest that 12 is the cut-off, as this is when children start to become teenagers and may be more mature. Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide what age limit they are comfortable with and to communicate this clearly to their guests.
When it comes to wording the age limit on the invitations or reception cards, there are a few different approaches you can take. Some people choose to simply state “adult reception to follow” or "adults-only reception" on their invitations. This implies that only adults are invited, but you may still need to clarify what age constitutes an adult for your event.
Another option is to include a separate card with the invitation that explains the age limit. This could say something like, "Due to limited space at our venue, we request that reception guests be at least [age] years old." This approach can be especially helpful if you have a specific number in mind, such as 15 or 18, that you want to communicate clearly to your guests.
If you want to be more polite and gentle in your wording, you could try something like, "While children are a joy and a blessing, the bride and groom request that all guests be [age] and over." This expresses your desire for an adult-only reception while also acknowledging that children are usually a welcome part of celebrations.
To avoid any confusion, it is generally recommended to list the names of all invitees on the invitation or reception card. This makes it clear who is and is not invited, regardless of their age. If you are concerned about space limitations or want to give a specific reason for the age restriction, you can include a sentence like, "Due to space limitations, we kindly request that only guests aged [age] and above attend the reception."
Remember, it is important to be consistent with your age limit and avoid making exceptions for certain guests, as this can create hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Choose an age limit that you are comfortable with and communicate it clearly and politely to your guests to ensure a smooth and enjoyable wedding planning process.
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Alcohol and drinking age
The drinking age varies by country and region, and this will have a significant impact on the age limit you set for your wedding. In the United States, the legal drinking age is 21, so it is understandable that some couples opt for a 21+ age limit for their wedding. This ensures that all guests are legally allowed to consume alcohol without any restrictions.
However, some couples choose to set the age limit at 18, which is the age of legal adulthood in many countries. This allows younger adults to be included in the celebration, especially if they are close relatives or friends of the couple. Ultimately, the decision to include or exclude younger adults may depend on factors such as the couple's relationship with these individuals and the overall tone and activities planned for the wedding.
If you are inviting guests who are under the legal drinking age, it is essential to consider their needs and safety. Some couples choose to have a separate area or room for underage guests, supervised by designated chaperones, to ensure they are not served alcohol. Others may opt for a completely dry wedding, where no alcohol is served to any guests, which can be a good option if you have a large number of younger guests or want to avoid the potential issues associated with alcohol consumption.
Additionally, it is worth noting that some venues and caterers offer different menus and pricing for children, which can help manage costs. However, it is crucial to communicate your plans clearly to your guests to avoid any confusion or misunderstandings, especially if they need to arrange childcare.
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Food and pricing
When it comes to food and pricing for a wedding reception, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, the age range of the children attending and whether they will be counted as guests for catering purposes. Secondly, the type of food being served, and whether there will be a separate children's menu or portion sizes. Finally, the pricing structure of the venue and caterers, including any discounts or special rates for children.
In terms of the age range, there is no definitive answer, but most venues and caterers consider children to be between the ages of 3 and 12, with those under 3 often not counted towards catering numbers as they may share their parents' food or have their own snacks. Some venues have specific cut-offs, such as under 10 or under 12, while others may offer a sliding scale charge based on age, with younger children receiving a discount or being free of charge. It is important to check with the venue and caterers to understand their specific policies.
When it comes to food options, some venues offer a separate children's menu, which may include items such as chicken fingers, chicken strips, mashed potatoes, or chicken nuggets. Others may offer half portions of the adult food or a buffet option, allowing children to select items they prefer. It is worth considering any allergies or intolerances when choosing the menu, as well as the potential for children to have larger appetites than expected.
Regarding pricing, it is common for venues and caterers to offer discounted rates for children's meals, which can help reduce overall costs. It is important to include all guests who will be eating in the final count to ensure enough food is prepared. Additionally, vendors such as photographers, videographers, and musicians should also be included in the headcount, as they will also require food, but may eat in a separate location.
To manage costs, it is recommended to count everyone's head and enquire about vendor and children's meal options. Some venues may offer flexible pricing structures, such as counting children as half a guest for catering purposes while still considering them full guests for capacity and occupancy limits. It is also worth noting that the bridal party should be included in the guest count, even if they are not sitting down to eat, as the venue will still need to prepare food and drinks for them.
In summary, when planning food and pricing for a wedding reception, it is essential to consider the age range of children attending, the type of food being served, and the pricing policies of the venue and caterers. By offering separate children's meals or portion sizes, taking advantage of discounted rates for children, and including all guests in the final headcount, couples can ensure a well-organised and enjoyable reception for all attendees.
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Maturity and behaviour
When it comes to maturity, it is important to consider the ability of younger guests to behave appropriately and respectfully during the wedding festivities. This includes their ability to remain quiet and well-mannered during the ceremony, as well as their conduct at the reception. Some couples may prefer to set an age limit to avoid potential disruptions caused by younger guests who may not fully understand appropriate behaviour in a formal wedding setting.
Behavioural expectations can also vary depending on cultural norms and the specific wedding venue. For example, some couples may choose to have an adult-oriented and formal wedding, while others may be more relaxed and open to including children in the celebrations. In certain cultures or families, it may be customary for children to participate in or attend weddings, while in other cases, the presence of children may be less common.
The venue's capacity limitations and the availability of child-friendly amenities can also influence the decision. Some venues may have strict capacity restrictions that include all guests, regardless of age. Additionally, the availability of separate seating or entertainment for children, as well as child-friendly menus, can impact the overall guest count and experience.
Ultimately, the decision on the age limit for a wedding reception rests with the couple. While some may choose a strict age cutoff, such as 18 or 21, others may consider a more flexible approach based on their relationship with the guests and the maturity level of the individuals involved. It is essential to communicate the age limit clearly on the invitations or through private communication with the guests to ensure a smooth and enjoyable experience for all.
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Frequently asked questions
There is no definitive answer to this question as it is up to the couple getting married to decide. Some couples may consider anyone under 18 to be a child, while others may set the limit at 21, especially if there is an open bar at the reception.
If you are sending invitations, it is a good idea to specify the age limit, for example, "Adults 18 and older". You can also include an extra card with the invitation that politely but firmly states that only guests of a certain age are invited due to limited space.
It is becoming increasingly common for couples to have an "adults-only" wedding. If you don't want any children at your wedding, you can simply state "Adults Only" on your invitations or specify an age limit.
In this case, it is best to name all invitees on the invitation or RSVP card. You can also address the invitations to specific individuals or "and Family" if you are inviting children from that family.
The age of your guests can impact the cost of the wedding, especially when it comes to food and drink. Most venues offer different menus and pricing for children, so be sure to ask about these options.
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