Kids At Weddings: Invited Or Not?

When it comes to weddings, the question of whether or not to invite children is a tricky one. While some people believe that kids add a certain magic to the atmosphere, others feel that they can be a distraction and may not fully appreciate the significance of the occasion. Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide whether they want their wedding to be family-friendly or adults-only. However, it is important to consider the potential challenges of accommodating families, such as the need for dedicated childcare services and the possibility of unpredictable behaviour from young guests. To avoid any confusion or hurt feelings, it is recommended that the couple clearly communicates their expectations to their guests, either through the wedding invitations or on their wedding website.

Addressing the invitation

Some people suggest that addressing an envelope to 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Family' is vague and not in good taste. However, others say that this phrasing is okay as long as you write the names of those invited on the inside envelope.

If you are inviting a family that all resides in the same household, the outer envelope should have 'The Turner Family' and the inner envelope should list each family member's name. If you are having a black-tie event, it is recommended to include honorifics as well.

If you are inviting an entire family, it is recommended to address both the inner and outer envelope with the specifics of who is invited. This will make it abundantly clear who is included.

If you are inviting specific children, you should tell your guests which ones can come. Be aware that some guests may not take the news well, especially if they cannot bring their own children. Explain that you have a guest limit.

One way to avoid confusion is to fill in the response card information yourself, leaving your invited guests the option to only indicate if they are attending or not. For example, if you're inviting your aunt and uncle but not their children, you would fill in "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe" in the space for their names, and "2" in the place indicating how many people—leaving them to mark only if they are attending or not. However, this method is not foolproof, as some people may cross out the number and replace it with their family's total.

Another option is to hire a babysitter and set up a room for the kids away from the reception. This makes it easier for people who are travelling from out of town. You can make a point of noting this in an insert to the invitation, asking parents to make "reservations" for their children.

Communicating your wishes

• Be Clear and Direct: On your wedding invitations, only include the names of the adults who are invited. Specify "Adults-Only Reception" or "Our wedding is adult-only" to ensure there is no ambiguity.
• Use Proper Addressing: Traditionally, the inner envelope of the invitation should list the names of those invited. If you're using only an outer envelope, ensure that only the names of the adult guests are included. Avoid addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Family" as this can be vague.
• Provide a Phone Call: After sending the invitations, consider calling guests with children to explain that your wedding is adults-only. This personal touch can help avoid any misunderstandings and show that you are willing to accommodate their needs.
• Create a Wedding Website: Include a separate page on your wedding website dedicated to clarifying your wishes regarding children. This can be a polite and easily accessible way to communicate your expectations to all guests.
• Be Consistent: Stick to a clear rule regarding children. Inviting some children but not others can be tricky and may lead to hurt feelings. Consider inviting only immediate family or drawing a line based on age.
• Plan for Exceptions: If you have flower girls, ring bearers, or other child participants, consider inviting them to the reception as well. It can be difficult for parents to dress up their children and involve them in the ceremony, only to then exclude them from the celebration. You may also offer babysitting services for these children during the reception if you prefer an adults-only environment.
• Consider Your Guest's Needs: If your wedding is a destination wedding or requires travel, keep in mind that guests with children will need to make additional arrangements. Be empathetic and provide suggestions or recommendations for local babysitting services to help alleviate some of their planning burdens.
• Monitor RSVPs: Pay close attention to the RSVPs you receive. Some guests may assume their children are invited and add them to the response card. Be vigilant and gently correct any misunderstandings to avoid uninvited children showing up on your big day.

Remember, it's your wedding, and you are entitled to make it adults-only if that is your preference. By being clear, consistent, and empathetic in your communication, you can ensure that your wishes are respected while also maintaining good relationships with your guests.

Inviting some children, not others

When it comes to inviting children to your wedding, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it is important to remember that it is your wedding and your rules. If you want to have an adults-only wedding, that is absolutely acceptable. You can be direct and honest with your guests, clearly communicating that children are not invited. However, it is important to make this clear on the invitation and your wedding website to avoid any misunderstandings.

Now, if you are inviting some children but not others, it is crucial to set a rule and stick to it. For example, you may decide to only invite immediate family members' children or only children who are in the wedding party. This way, people can't really be offended if you exclude kids of cousins or more distant relatives. It is generally not advisable to pick and choose which children are invited, as this may lead to hurt feelings and offended guests.

If you have a small number of children you are close to and want to invite, you could consider giving them special roles in the wedding, such as ring bearer, flower girl, or handing out programs. This way, it is more understandable why they are invited and not others.

Keep in mind that some parents may decline your invitation if their children are not invited, especially if they have to travel or find childcare. However, most people understand that couples don't want a lot of kids at their wedding and may even welcome a night out without their kids. Ultimately, it is your decision, and you should do what feels right for you and your partner.

Childcare considerations

If you're planning a wedding, one of the key questions you'll need to answer early on is whether or not to invite children. This is a decision that tends to divide opinion: while some people believe that all guests should be able to bring their children, others prefer to keep their wedding child-free.

If you decide to exclude children, it's important to be clear about this from the outset. Address your invitations to the adults only and, if necessary, explicitly state that the wedding is adults-only. Even then, you may need to be prepared for some guests to turn up with their children anyway.

If you do want children at your wedding, there are several additional factors to consider. Will you need to provide childcare? What kind of entertainment, food and seating will be suitable for children?

One option is to provide a separate room for children, supervised by a babysitter or childcare provider. This can be equipped with toys, puzzles, colouring books and crayons to keep them entertained. You could also set up a kids' table at the reception, or hire a children's entertainer to keep them occupied.

Another important consideration is the menu. Children may not appreciate the adult menu, so it's a good idea to provide a separate, child-friendly menu with simple, plain food.

Finally, don't forget to think about the parents. If your wedding is child-friendly, they may appreciate having their children included in the celebrations. However, some parents may prefer to have a night off and leave their children with a babysitter. In this case, you could consider providing a list of recommended local babysitters or childcare services.

Child-friendly activities

When it comes to weddings, the question of whether or not to invite children is a contentious issue. Some people believe that children add a magical touch to the atmosphere, while others feel that they can be a distraction from the solemnity of the occasion. If you decide to include children in your wedding, here are some child-friendly activities to keep them entertained:

• Set up a separate kids' room or area with toys, crafts, and games. Ensure that the space has kid-friendly furniture and is supervised by adults.
• Provide a variety of entertainment options such as play tents, hula hoops, crates of activities, cushions, and rugs.
• Offer a special kids' menu with their favourite foods. Finger foods, fruit, and lollipops are always a hit!
• Encourage noise-making! Provide play instruments for the children to use during appropriate moments, such as when the newlyweds are recessing down the aisle.
• Include the children in the send-off by asking them to wave sparklers during the couple's exit.
• Set up interactive centrepieces or decorations that can double as activities, such as toy reptiles or building blocks.
• Organise outdoor games such as sack races or a giant version of Jenga.
• Provide crafts like colouring sheets, clipboards, or wedding-themed activity books.
• Set up a dress-up station with props and costumes.
• Create a children's parade with ribbon streamers and balloons to let the kids share the spotlight.
• Set up a scavenger hunt or an "I-Spy" game with custom cards to keep them engaged during the ceremony or reception.
• Provide welcome bags with crayons, colouring pages, bubble wands, pinwheels, puzzles, and snacks.
• Set up a movie night with pillows and popcorn for an evening reception.
• Create a card-making station with blank cardstock and art supplies for kids to make congratulations cards for the couple.
• Set up a kids' table with craft paper as a tablecloth, crayons, and small toys.
• Bring in special entertainment like a magician or balloon artist.

Remember, it's important to cater to the specific ages and interests of the children attending and to ensure parental permission and supervision throughout the event.

Frequently asked questions