Planning A Wedding: Before Or After Engagement?

Planning a wedding can be stressful and time-consuming, so it's important to consider how much time you'll need to prepare. While some couples might want to dive straight into the planning process, others may prefer to wait and simply enjoy being engaged for a while. There are various factors to consider, such as the availability of your desired venue and vendors, the season you want to get married in, and how long it will take to save the necessary funds.

Enjoy being engaged

Firstly, planning a wedding is a long and stressful process. By giving yourself time to enjoy your engagement, you can approach the planning process with a clearer head and less pressure. You can also take the opportunity to research and plan without the stress of a looming deadline. This is especially important if you are planning your wedding without professional help, as it can take up a lot of your free time for a year or more.

Secondly, a longer engagement gives you more flexibility with dates and venues. Many popular venues get booked up quickly, sometimes a year or more in advance. By waiting even just a few weeks, you will have more options available to you and a better chance of securing your dream venue. This is also true when it comes to vendors; a longer engagement means your favourite vendors are more likely to be available.

Finally, it is important to remember that this is a special time in your life. You should be able to celebrate your love and enjoy the excitement of your engagement without immediately turning to wedding planning. So, take the time to revel in this blissful period, and only start planning when you feel ready. Whether you want a long or short engagement, it is up to you and your partner to decide what timeframe works best for you.

Pick a few dates

After you've enjoyed your engagement for a few weeks, it's time to start thinking about potential wedding dates. The date you choose will depend on several factors, such as the season you want to get married in, the availability of your chosen venue, and how long you're happy to wait.

If you have a specific date in mind, it's a good idea to start looking at venues as soon as possible, as popular dates can get snapped up a year or more in advance. Summer dates tend to book up the fastest, but late spring and early autumn dates are also popular. Some venues won't book more than a year in advance, and many will require a deposit to secure your date.

If you're not set on a particular date, you can save money by choosing an off-peak season to get married. October is the peak wedding season, along with the summer months, so you might find better availability and deals if you opt for a different time of year.

It's also worth considering how long you want your engagement to be. The average couple is engaged for 13 months, but there's no one-size-fits-all answer. Some people prefer longer engagements to give themselves more time to plan, while others opt for a shorter engagement and a quicker wedding planning process. Ultimately, the timeline that's right for you and your partner will depend on your individual circumstances and preferences.

Research vendors

While it is tempting to dive straight into wedding planning after getting engaged, it is recommended to wait at least a few weeks to a month before starting to plan. This gives you time to simply enjoy being engaged and celebrate with an engagement party, without any pressure to start thinking about the wedding. Once you are ready to start planning, take it step by step and give yourself plenty of time to make decisions.

The first step to choosing vendors is to research and see who is available in your wedding location. A wedding vendor is anyone you pay to provide a service or product for your wedding, including caterers, entertainers, and floral designers. There are dozens of wedding vendors to choose from, so it is essential to do some research to find vendors that match your vision, budget, and requirements.

You can start by making a list of requirements for each vendor, outlining your specific wants and needs. For example, you might want a photographer that specializes in candid, documentary-style images, or a wedding planner with experience at your venue. Knowing your priorities will help streamline your research and make the process quicker and easier.

Some venues have locked-in contracts with certain suppliers and won't allow third-party vendors, so be sure to check the finer details before signing your venue contract if you have a dream team of suppliers in mind. It is also important to remember that you don't need to book all your wedding suppliers at the same time. The most in-demand suppliers that generally book out first include photographers, celebrants, and wedding planners, so consider researching these vendors first.

Manage expectations

It can be tempting to dive straight into wedding planning, especially when well-meaning loved ones start asking questions about the wedding. However, it is important to take some time to simply enjoy being engaged. This will also give you time to revel in the excitement of the proposal and celebrate with your family and friends.

To manage expectations, it is a good idea to let your family and friends know that you are not setting a date yet and that it will be at least a couple of years until you tie the knot. This way, no one is waiting expectantly, and you can take your time to enjoy this stage.

The length of your engagement will depend on various factors, such as your preferred season, venue availability, and your budget. The average engagement lasts 13 months, but 19% of couples plan their weddings in six months or less. If you are planning a shorter engagement, you may want to set a date sooner rather than later, especially if you have your heart set on a particular venue or date.

Planning a wedding can be stressful, and it is a long process. A longer engagement can help reduce stress and give you more time to add all the details you want for your special day. It also increases the likelihood that your favourite vendors will be available.

Plan a budget

While it is tempting to dive straight into wedding planning after getting engaged, it is recommended to wait at least a few weeks to enjoy the feeling of being newly engaged. Once you are ready to start planning, creating a budget is one of the first and most important tasks to tackle. Wedding planning can be stressful, especially with the financial aspect, but it doesn't have to be difficult. Here are some tips to help you plan your wedding budget:

Determine what you can afford

Start by sitting down with your partner and discussing how much you can afford to spend on your wedding. Be realistic and honest about your financial situation, and consider your income, savings, bills, necessities, and other expenses. Decide on a maximum amount you are willing to spend, and remember that you don't have to go into debt for your wedding. It is important to also consider how much money you can set aside each month for wedding expenses without affecting your daily life and other financial commitments.

Identify priorities and must-haves

Discuss with your partner what aspects of the wedding are most important to both of you. This could include the venue, catering, photography, entertainment, or any other specific elements that you prioritize. Understanding your priorities will help you allocate your budget accordingly and decide where you can save money and where to splurge.

Research and compare costs

Create a spreadsheet or use a wedding budget tool to research and compare costs for different items. Contact vendors, get quotes, and break down the costs for each aspect of your wedding, including the venue, catering, photography, attire, decorations, and so on. This will give you a more accurate understanding of the expenses involved and help you refine your budget.

Consider outside contributions

If friends or family members offer to contribute financially to your wedding, communicate clearly with them about how the money will be spent. Some may have specific wishes, such as paying for your floral arrangements or contributing a lump sum with no restrictions. Knowing these details will help you further refine your budget and allocate funds accordingly.

Hire a wedding planner

Consider hiring a wedding planner or coordinator, as they can help you save money in the long run. Wedding planners often have relationships with vendors and can leverage these connections to get you better deals. They can also provide valuable insights on which expenses will make a significant impact on your day, helping you avoid overspending on unnecessary items.

Be flexible and adaptable

Remember that your budget may need to be adjusted as you plan your wedding. Unexpected costs may arise, or you may find that certain expenses are lower than anticipated. Stay organized, keep track of your spending, and be prepared to make adjustments to your budget as needed.

Planning a wedding budget can be a challenging but exciting part of the process. By following these steps and staying mindful of your financial situation, you can create a realistic budget that aligns with your vision and priorities for your special day.

Frequently asked questions