Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Miss Or Ms?

Wedding invitations are a tricky business. There are so many things to consider, from the font to the wording, and, of course, the all-important question of how to address your guests properly. When it comes to men, it's simple: 'Mr.' is the default. But for women, there's a choice between 'Miss', 'Ms.', and 'Mrs.'. The titles relate to a woman's age and marital status, but it can be hard to know which one to use, especially if you don't want to cause offence. So, what's the difference, and which one should you use?

When to use Miss

The title "Miss" is used to address unmarried women and girls under the age of 18. While any unmarried woman can technically be referred to as "Miss", the title can feel juvenile when addressing women of a certain age. In these cases, it is more respectful to use "Ms." instead.

"Miss" is typically reserved for young girls and adolescents. However, the exact age at which the title starts to feel inappropriate varies. Some sources suggest that "Miss" is suitable for girls under 16, 15, or 18 years old. Others state that "Miss" is appropriate for adolescents, teens, or young women. Ultimately, the preference of the individual should be respected.

"Miss" is also commonly used in formal settings, such as when addressing women in positions of authority or when the marital status of the woman is unknown. However, this usage is becoming less common, as some women feel that their marital status should not define them.

In general, "Miss" is used for young, unmarried women, while "Ms." is a more versatile title that can be used for any woman, regardless of age or marital status. If you are unsure about which title to use, "Ms." is usually the safest choice.

When to use Ms

When to Use 'Ms'

"Ms" is the correct title to use when addressing female-identifying people over the age of 18, regardless of their marital status. It is considered the female equivalent of "Mr." and can be used in any setting to refer to an adult woman.

"Ms" is often used when the marital status of the woman is unknown or if the woman is divorced. It is also commonly used for unmarried women over a certain age, as "Miss" can start to feel too young or juvenile.

"Ms" is a neutral, catch-all term that came about in the 1950s as women began to assert their desire to be known for something outside of their marital status. It is now considered the default form of address for adult women and is especially useful in formal settings.

When addressing wedding invitations, it is generally considered polite to use people's preferred titles. If you are unsure of a guest's preferred title, "Ms" is a safe choice.

When to use Mrs

When to Use "Mrs."

"Mrs." is used to address women who are married. It is the equivalent of "Mr." and is considered the official title for married women. It is also used for widows, regardless of whether they retain their husband's surname or revert to their maiden name.

When addressing a married couple, the traditional way is to write "Mr. and Mrs. [husband's first name] [shared surname]," for example, "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith." However, nowadays, it is also acceptable to list the wife's first name, for example, "Mr. and Mrs. John and Mary Smith."

If a woman has divorced, you can address her as "Mrs." if she retains her married name. If she reverts to her maiden name, it is more appropriate to use "Ms."

When addressing a woman with a title, such as "Dr.," you do not need to include "Mrs." Instead, you would write, for example, "Dr. Sabrina Lee and Mr. Michael Lee."

If you are unsure whether "Mrs." is the preferred title, it is always best to ask the individual. Using the correct title is an important practice and a symbol of respect.

When the recipient's marital status is unknown

When addressing wedding invitations, it is important to use the correct titles for your guests as a sign of respect. If you are unsure of a female guest's marital status, it is generally considered safe to use the title "Ms."

"Ms." is a gender-specific title that is used to address adult women, regardless of their marital status. It is also used when the marital status of the woman is unknown. This title is often used in formal settings and is considered more respectful than "Miss," which can feel juvenile or inappropriate for women of a certain age.

"Miss" is typically reserved for young, unmarried women and girls under the age of 18 or 30. It is commonly used in school settings and is considered a respectful form of address in the southern regions.

If you are unsure about a guest's preferred title, it is always best to ask them directly before addressing the invitation to avoid any social faux pas. This is especially important as individual preferences may vary, and not everyone will wish to be addressed by these traditional titles.

When the recipient is non-binary

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, it's important to respect your guests' identities and preferences. If you're unsure about someone's pronouns or preferred title, it's always best to ask them directly.

If you know that your guest is non-binary, you can use the gender-neutral honorific "Mx." when addressing their wedding invitation. This title is suitable for non-binary individuals or those who use they/them pronouns. It's also a good option if the sender is unaware of the recipient's preferred title. Pronounced "mix" or "mux", "Mx." is a gender-neutral alternative to the female-specific titles "Miss", "Ms.", and "Mrs.".

"Mx." is the most widely used and popular in the United Kingdom, according to the Gender Census. Using this title may be risky in regions unfamiliar with the term, as some people may dislike it while others may embrace it. If you're unsure about how your guest would like to be addressed, it's always best to ask them directly.

In addition to "Mx.", there are other gender-neutral options you can consider when addressing wedding invitations to non-binary guests. One option is to simply use the person's name without any title. For example, "Jane Smith" or "John and Jane Smith". This approach avoids any assumptions about gender or marital status and ensures that your guest feels respected and included.

Another option is to use professional titles or academic degrees, such as "Doctor" for medical doctors or individuals with a Ph.D. For example, "Doctor Jane Smith" or "The Doctors John and Jane Smith" if both partners are doctors. This approach focuses on the guest's accomplishments and expertise rather than their gender or marital status.

When addressing wedding invitations to non-binary guests, it's important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all solution. The best approach is to ask your guests about their preferred titles and pronouns, and then respect their choices. By taking the time to find out and use their preferred labels, you show your guests that they are valued and respected.

Frequently asked questions