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As the best man, you are expected to give a speech and/or a toast at your friend's wedding. While it is not required, it is a great honour and a meaningful duty. The best man's speech is usually the one with the most expectations. It should be lighthearted, happy, and respectful. It should also be short and sweet – around three to five minutes long.
The best man's speech should include an introduction, a thank you to the previous speaker, gratitude towards the couple's parents, a special mention of the new spouse, personal stories, and a heartfelt toast to the newlyweds at the end. The toast should be a celebration of the couple's love and future together. It is customary to ask everyone to raise their glasses and wish the couple a lifetime of happiness, peace, love, and excellent health.
So, should you end a best man's speech with 'cheers'? Absolutely!
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Length | 3-5 minutes |
Tone | Lighthearted, funny, heartfelt, sincere, positive, G or PG-rated |
Content | Introduction, thank the other speakers, mention the couple's parents, share a personal story, talk about the couple's relationship, toast |
Preparation | Write a speech in advance, practice with an audience, bring written copy, speak slowly and confidently |
What You'll Learn
Thank the couple's parents
As the best man, you should begin your speech by introducing yourself and stating your intention to toast the couple. It is also customary to thank the couple's parents for putting on the celebration and raising two wonderful people. Here is an example:
"I'd like to recognize some important people in the audience today, and as a matter of fact, without them, we wouldn't be here. So, let's hear it for [groom]'s parents, [names of groom's parents], and [bride]'s parents, [names of bride's parents]! Thank you for making today happen and for all your hard work in raising [groom] and [bride] and planning this beautiful event. Here's to a job well done!"
You can also share a funny or lighthearted story about the couple's parents, such as how they met or a cute story from their childhood. Here is an example:
"I want to take a moment to thank the couple's parents, [names of couple's parents]. Not only have they raised two incredible people who found each other and fell in love, but they also know how to throw a fantastic party! In fact, I heard a rumour that [name of parent] was the life of the party at the rehearsal dinner last night! So, let's raise a glass to the parents of the newlyweds and thank them for their love and support, and for bringing us all together today."
If you have a close relationship with the couple's parents, you may want to share a personal story or anecdote about them. Here is an example:
"As many of you know, I have been friends with [groom] for many years, and during that time, I have also had the pleasure of getting to know his wonderful parents, [names of groom's parents]. I remember one time when we were all on a family vacation, and [name of parent] did something so hilarious that we still laugh about it to this day. Their warmth and generosity have always made me feel like part of the family, and I am so grateful to them for raising such an amazing son. So, let's raise a glass to them and thank them for their endless love and support."
Remember, the tone of your speech can be sincere or comical, depending on your preference and relationship with the couple and their parents. Just be sure to keep it appropriate and avoid any embarrassing or offensive remarks.
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Include a funny story about the groom
When giving a best man's speech, ending on a light and positive note is a great way to ensure your speech is memorable and well-received. One way to do this is by including a funny story or anecdote about the groom. It adds a personal touch and gives your audience a glimpse into the groom's unique personality and your friendship. Here are some tips to help you craft this section of your speech:
Choose a Story That Is Lighthearted and Amusing: Opt for a story that will make the audience laugh and showcase the groom's playful side. It could be an embarrassing moment, a hilarious misadventure, or a light-hearted prank he played on someone. Ensure the story is appropriate and will not cause any offense; it should be something the groom would laugh about too.
Keep It Relevant and Concise: While your story should be detailed enough to paint a picture, avoid rambling. Keep the story concise and focused, ensuring it has a clear beginning, middle, and end. Make sure it is relevant to the groom and your friendship, something that highlights his unique characteristics and your bond.
Involve Other Members of the Wedding Party: If possible, include other members of the wedding party in your story. This could be the groomsmen, the bridesmaids, or even the bride herself if appropriate. It adds depth to the story and shows how the groom is loved and appreciated by those around him.
Use Expressions and Gestures: As you tell the story, use expressive facial gestures and vary your tone of voice to make it engaging. Act out certain parts if it adds to the humor, or use props if they enhance the story. This will capture the audience's attention and make your story more dynamic and entertaining.
Time It Right: Place the funny story towards the end of your speech, leading up to your closing remarks. This ensures the audience is left with a lasting impression of laughter and warmth. It also provides a natural transition into your final sentiments and well-wishes for the happy couple.
Here's an example of how you could structure this section:
"Now, I've known the groom for a long time, and one thing I can assure you all is that he has never been short of adventures. There was this one time when we were on a guys' trip to Vegas. Little did I know that this trip would go down in history as one of the most hilarious and embarrassing moments of our friendship, all thanks to the man of the hour. As we wandered into one of those famous casinos, confident and ready to take on the roulette wheel, let's just say things didn't go exactly as planned for our friend here. While we were placing our bets, he accidentally knocked over someone's drink, and in his attempt to save the falling glass, he ended up spilling the entire tray of drinks all over himself and a nearby showgirl. It was chaos, but the look on his face was priceless. Safe to say, he didn't exactly get the lucky streak he was hoping for that night, but it sure gave us a good laugh, and it's a memory we still joke about to this day!"
Remember to adapt the story to fit the groom's personality and your relationship. This example showcases a light-hearted tale that is sure to leave the audience smiling and perhaps even roaring with laughter. Ending on a cheerful note with a simple "cheers" is a great way to wrap up your speech, leaving the wedding guests with a wonderful impression of the groom and your friendship.
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Avoid mentioning ex-partners
When giving a best man's speech, it is generally advised that you should not end with a simple "cheers." While it is a friendly and cheerful send-off, it can also be considered a bit too casual for such a special occasion. There are a few other phrases or approaches you might consider to conclude your speech more memorably and appropriately.
Now, one of the most important things to avoid when writing your best man's speech is mentioning the bride or groom's ex-partners. Here's why, along with some guidance on how to navigate this potential minefield:
The past is the past for a reason. Bringing up ex-partners can be extremely uncomfortable for the newlyweds, their families, and the exes themselves (should they be in attendance). It can also shift the focus away from the happy couple and onto past relationships, which is not appropriate for the occasion. Even if the bride or groom has shared stories or details about their exes with you, it's best to leave those anecdotes out of your speech. Remember, the wedding day is about celebrating the present and looking forward to the future.
Additionally, mentioning ex-partners can unintentionally create a negative atmosphere. It may bring up painful memories or remind people of past relationship failures. You want the couple and their guests to feel joyful and optimistic during the wedding celebrations. Keep your speech positive and focused on the love and happiness of the newlyweds.
If you have a funny story involving an ex that you think will have the guests in stitches, resist the urge to include it. There are plenty of other sources of humor you can tap into that won't risk causing embarrassment or discomfort. Opt for stories and jokes that celebrate the couple's unique relationship and their journey to the altar.
That being said, there may be instances where the bride or groom has a child or children from a previous relationship. In this case, it is appropriate to acknowledge the children and their role in the wedding. You can share a story or two about how the children have added to the joy of the day or how the newlyweds have embraced their role as step-parents. Just be mindful to keep the focus on the family unit and not on any specific ex-partner.
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Keep it short
As best man, your speech should be concise and to the point. A short speech ensures your message is memorable and impactful. You want the audience to be left wanting more, not wishing you'd finish up! A good rule of thumb is to aim for no longer than seven minutes. This gives you time to include all the necessary elements without losing the audience's attention.
Keep the content focused and avoid rambling. A best man speech is traditionally light-hearted and entertaining, so there's no need for a lengthy, detailed account of how you met the groom. Focus on sharing a few well-chosen, funny anecdotes that will engage the audience and keep the energy high. Concentrate on delivering your wishes for the couple and your heartfelt sentiments for their future together. This approach will ensure your speech is meaningful and memorable.
Preparing your speech in advance is key to keeping it concise. Practise delivering it within the time limit to refine your content and delivery. Speaking aloud will help you gauge the timing and make any necessary adjustments. Be critical and cut any parts that feel too long or unnecessary. If you're unsure, ask a trusted friend or family member for their opinion to ensure your speech is tight and effective.
Remember, a short and sweet speech will be more engaging and better received by the wedding guests. You want to leave a positive impression and contribute to the joy and celebration of the occasion. By keeping your speech brief, you allow the wedding festivities to flow smoothly, ensuring the happy couple remains the focus. So, when crafting your best man speech, always remember that less is more! Cheers to a fantastic and memorable best man speech, and a wonderful wedding celebration.
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Rehearse your speech
Rehearsing your speech is an important step in the process of preparing for your best man's speech. It is a huge mistake to neglect this step, as many best men do. Here are some tips to help you rehearse effectively:
Know your speech inside out: Read your speech over and over again until you have memorised it. This will allow you to focus on your body language and eye contact during your delivery, rather than reading from a piece of paper.
Work on your posture: The correct posture for a speech is chin up, shoulders up and eyes looking outwards. Practice this posture in front of a mirror, along with hand gestures that emphasise your points.
Work on the speech length: A good rule of thumb is to take the number of words in your speech and divide it by 150. This will give you the ideal length of your speech in minutes. For example, a 450-word speech should be 3 minutes long.
Focus on the first lines: The start of your speech is the most important section, as it will determine whether you grab the attention of your audience. Practice your opening lines more than any others, pausing and taking a breath before you start, and delivering the first line with confidence and volume.
Use visualisation tricks: Visualise yourself delivering the speech with confidence, and receiving laughter and applause from the audience. This will help to calm your nerves and boost your confidence.
Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse: Practice your speech as much as possible, in front of a mirror, sitting down, and to other people. The more you practice, the more comfortable and confident you will become.
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