Wedding Invites: To Include Or Not Include Address?

Wedding invitations are traditionally delivered by hand, with servants receiving the package and removing the invitation from the outer envelope to hand to the appropriate member of the household. Today, wedding invitations are usually sent by mail, with outer and inner envelopes. The outer envelope contains the recipient's name, street address, return address, and postage, while the inner envelope has less information and is often not sealed with a gummed flap. The inner envelope should be addressed as if hand-delivered and includes the names of the invited guests, including children. The invitation, RSVP card, and any additional stationery are placed inside the inner envelope, which is then placed inside the outer envelope. When addressing wedding invitations, it is important to use full names and appropriate titles, such as Mr. and Mrs. for married couples. Abbreviations and nicknames should be avoided.

Inner and outer envelopes

Wedding invitations traditionally consist of an inner and an outer envelope. The outer envelope is the larger of the two and contains the recipient's name, street address, return address, and postage. The inner envelope is smaller and usually includes only the name(s) of the person(s) invited. This envelope is not sealed with a gummed flap; instead, the flap is tucked inside or sealed with a wax seal.

When addressing the outer envelope, it is best to write out the recipient's full name, including their personal title (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss, or Mx.). For married couples, it is customary to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name (e.g., Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren). For unmarried couples living at the same address, list both names on the same line, with the person you are closest to, or the person whose name comes first alphabetically, listed first (e.g., Ms. Rachel Green and Mr. Ross Geller).

The inner envelope is more informal, and you have the option to leave out certain elements of the formal name format. You can use titles and last names (e.g., Mr. and Mrs. Warren) or just first names (e.g., Thomas and Michelle).

It is important to note that wedding invitation etiquette has evolved, and you can choose to forgo personal titles if they feel restrictive or exclusive. In this case, you can simply use first and last names on both the outer and inner envelopes.

Abbreviations

Traditionally, wedding invitations should not include any abbreviations. However, it has become acceptable to abbreviate titles such as "Dr." and "Mrs.". It is up to you whether you want to adhere to traditional rules or use abbreviations, as writing out titles in full can be time-consuming and costly.

When it comes to addresses, it is considered elegant to write out street numbers and state names in full (e.g. "Saint Paul, Minnesota" instead of "St. Paul, MN"). However, this can also be a daunting task and may delay the delivery of your invitations. The United States Post Office recommends using standard abbreviations for states (e.g. "CA" for "California"). Ultimately, the choice between writing out addresses in full or using abbreviations is a matter of personal judgment.

Titles and prefixes

When addressing wedding invitations, it is important to use the correct titles and prefixes for your guests. This shows respect and formality, and it is an important part of wedding invitation etiquette. Here are some guidelines to follow when addressing your wedding invitations:

• For a married couple with the same last name, you can use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". If the couple is sensitive to the woman's name being left out, you can include her first name as well: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".
• For a married couple with different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. For example, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".
• If one partner has a hyphenated last name, list their name last. You can use "Mr." or "Ms.". For example, "Mr. Andy Dwyer and Ms. April Ludgate-Dwyer".
• For an unmarried couple living together, list their names alphabetically by last name on separate lines. For example, "Mr. Ross Geller" and "Ms. Rachel Green".
• If the unmarried couple does not live together, send separate invitations to each guest.
• For a single female, use "Ms." if she is over 18. For example, "Ms. Elizabeth Lemon". If she is under 18, use "Miss" spelled out: "Miss Donna-Jo Tanner".
• For a single male, use "Mr." if he is over 18. For example, "Mr. George Costanza". If he is under 18, no title is necessary: "George Costanza".
• If your guest identifies as non-binary, use the honorific "Mx.". For example, "Mx. Courtney Andrews".
• When addressing a family, you can either address the whole family or specify the names of each family member. For example, "The Simpson Family" or "Mr. and Mrs. Homer Simpson, Mr. Bart Simpson, Miss Lisa Simpson".
• If one partner has a distinguished title, such as a judge, military personnel, or a member of the clergy, their name should be listed first, regardless of gender. For example, "Rabbi and Mrs. Richard Glass" or "The Honorable Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Mr. Martin David Ginsburg".
• If both partners have distinguished titles, the higher-ranking title should come first, and if they are of the same rank, traditionally the woman is listed first. For example, "Colonel Peter Jefferies and Reverend Margaret Jefferies".
• It is acceptable to abbreviate titles (Dr., Mrs., etc.), but traditional etiquette states that you should abbreviate nothing. Writing out the full titles and addresses can be time-consuming but adds a touch of elegance to your invitations.

Handwriting and calligraphy

Wedding invitations are traditionally handwritten, and while it is acceptable to use a computer to print guest addresses, there is something special about the personal touch of handwriting and calligraphy.

When addressing wedding invitations, it is important to use guests' full names and titles, avoiding nicknames or initials. Traditionally, married couples are addressed as "Mr. and Mrs." while unmarried women are addressed as "Miss" or "Ms." Spell out all words in the address, including "Street" instead of "St." and "Apartment" instead of "Apt." House numbers smaller than 20 should also be written out.

The outer envelope should include the recipient's name, street address, return address, and postage. The inner envelope is more informal and usually includes only the name(s) of the person(s) being invited. The inner envelope is traditionally not sealed with a gummed flap but is tucked inside or sealed with a wax seal.

Addressing couples

When addressing couples on wedding invitations, it's important to consider their relationship status, titles, and names. Here are some guidelines to follow:

Married Couple with the Same Last Name:

For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's First Name] [Last Name]." For a same-sex couple, either name can go first. If the couple prefers to have both names included, you can use "Mr. [Husband's First Name] [Last Name] and Mrs. [Wife's First Name] [Last Name]." The inner envelope can be more informal, such as "Mr. and Mrs. [Last Name]" or the first names of the couple.

Married Couple with Different Last Names:

Write their full names on the same line on the outer envelope, with the woman's name first. If the names are too long, list them separately. The inner envelope can be more casual, such as "Ms. [Wife's First Name] and Mr. [Husband's First Name]" or their first names.

Married Couple with One Hyphenated Last Name:

Address the outer envelope with the non-hyphenated name first, followed by the hyphenated name. The inner envelope can be less formal, using first names or titles with the last name.

Unmarried Couple:

For couples who live at the same address, include both names on one line on the outer envelope, listing the person you are closest with first or in alphabetical order. The inner envelope can be more casual, using titles and last names or just first names. If the couple lives at different addresses, send separate invitations to each partner.

Same-Sex Couple:

The same etiquette applies as for any other couple. If they are married or live together, list both names on the same line on the outer envelope. If one partner has a hyphenated last name, put this name last. For different last names, list the names alphabetically or based on your closeness with the guests. The inner envelope can be more informal, using titles and last names or first names.

Frequently asked questions