Involving Children In Your Wedding: Is It A Good Idea?

Deciding whether to include children in your wedding can be a difficult choice. While some people love the atmosphere and fun that children bring to a wedding, others worry that they will be a distraction or cause chaos. It's important to consider the pros and cons of including children and to communicate your decision clearly to your guests. If you do decide to include children, there are several ways to keep them entertained and involved in the celebrations.

Childcare options

If you're inviting children to your wedding, there are a few things you can do to ensure they are well looked after and entertained. Here are some childcare options to consider:

• On-site babysitting services: You can hire a babysitter or childcare provider to be on-site during the wedding. This can be a great option if you have a lot of children attending or if you want to provide a dedicated space for parents to leave their children. You can even create a "Kids' Club" with themed activities and entertainment, such as balloon artists, magicians, and puppeteers.
• Off-site childcare: If you know that many of your guests are travelling from out of town, you can suggest off-site childcare options such as local babysitting companies or daycare centres. This can be helpful for guests who want their children to be in a more familiar environment.
• Parent supervision: Ultimately, it is the parents' responsibility to supervise their children during the wedding. You can encourage parents to bring their own toys, snacks, and entertainment for their children. You can also provide a separate room or area for parents to supervise their children, with activities such as colouring books, puzzles, and toys.
• Kids' table: If you want the children to be in the same room as the adults, you can set up a kids' table with colouring books, crayons, and kid-friendly snacks. This option gives parents a break while still allowing them to keep an eye on their children.
• Hire entertainment: Consider hiring a children's entertainer, such as a magician, face painter, or storyteller. This can be a great way to keep the children engaged and entertained during the wedding.
• Activity packs: Provide small activity packs or goodie bags for each child, filled with quiet, non-messy activities such as colouring books, puzzles, and small toys.
• Outdoor games: If your venue has outdoor space, you can set up outdoor games such as a bouncy castle or an indoor arcade machine.
• Craft corner: Set up a craft corner with kraft paper, crayons, and pens, and let the children get creative.
• Coordinating with parents: Offer to put guests with young children in touch with each other so that parents can coordinate childcare and share the cost of a babysitter.
• Set a bedtime: Work with the parents and/or babysitter to set a "head to bed" time, so that adults can continue the party once the children have gone to sleep.

Child-friendly food and drink

If you're planning on having children at your wedding, it's a good idea to add some child-friendly options to your wedding menu. Here are some tips for creating a wedding menu that appeals to children while still feeling elegant and elevated:

Finger Foods and Buffet-Style

Buffet-style tables with decadent finger foods are a great way to offer children easy access to food that doesn't require utensils. Some options include:

• Fried mac and cheese lollipops
• Flatbread and cheese bites
• Bite-sized meatballs
• Grilled cheese sandwiches cut into unique shapes
• Fruit or veggie skewers
• Mini sandwiches
• Veggie spring rolls or wraps

Pre-packaged Snacks and Individualised Platters

Pre-packaged snacks and individualised platters are a great way to accommodate children with allergies and food restrictions. This option also ensures that all guests are taken care of without taking away from other food choices or your wedding decor.

Low-Sugar, Low-Mess Desserts

Instead of a traditional wedding cake, consider offering a variety of low-sugar and less messy dessert options such as:

• Bite-sized cookies
• Low-calorie macarons
• Chocolate-covered strawberries
• Mini cupcakes
• Cotton candy
• Marshmallow bites

Kid-Friendly Drinks

Instead of juice boxes, consider providing reusable cups with secure caps that match your wedding style. Fill them with fruit juices, water, or sodas, and add a straw and a label with each child's name to prevent spills and mixing.

Faux and Classy Dinnerware

Using faux-yet-classy dinnerware can help maintain the elegance of your wedding setup while also being more child-friendly. Choose kid-friendly options that match your event's theme and colour scheme.

Presentation and Elevation

While it's important to have child-friendly food options, presentation can also elevate the dining experience for children. Use fancy plates, flatware, and napkins similar to the adults' place settings to make children feel included and special.

Mocktails

Include a fancy mocktail on your drink menu for the children to enjoy. Use fancy glassware and garnishes, such as edible flowers in the ice cubes or dehydrated citrus to elevate the experience.

Seating arrangements

Deciding on the seating arrangements for your wedding can be a tricky task, especially when children are involved. Here are some tips to help you navigate the process:

• It is generally recommended to provide seating for children aged 5 to 16 years old, either with their parents or at a designated children's table.
• For toddlers between 2 and 4 years old, it is advisable to assign them a seat at their parents' table. You may also want to request a high chair or booster seat for them.
• Babies under 2 years old do not usually require a designated seat, as they will likely stay in their parents' arms or lap. However, you may consider providing a high chair if requested by the parents.
• If space allows, adding an extra seat or high chair at the table can be a thoughtful option, giving families more comfort and flexibility.

Other Considerations:

• When creating your seating chart, group guests into categories such as family, friends, and colleagues. This will help you organise seating arrangements more efficiently.
• It is recommended to seat immediate family members and members of the wedding party closest to the dance floor, as they will need easy access for toasts, speeches, and special dances.
• Consider the setup of your reception space when determining table arrangements. For example, avoid seating older guests too close to loud music, and ensure easy access for guests with wheelchairs or other mobility concerns.
• If you have divorced parents, seating arrangements should be carefully planned to avoid any discomfort or strain. It is generally recommended to seat divorced parents separately, with their respective families seated behind them.
• While it is not necessary to have a "singles" table, try to seat guests together who share common interests or are likely to engage in good conversation. Avoid seating couples separately with an obstructive centerpiece.
• For children attending your wedding, consider providing a kids' table with colouring books and other activities to keep them entertained. You may also want to suggest that parents bring their own booster seats or high chairs if needed.

Inviting some children but not others

When it comes to inviting some children but not others to your wedding, opinions vary, so it's best to choose a clear rule and stick to it. One suggestion is to draw the line at immediate family, as most children who have wedding duties are close relatives, such as nieces or nephews. If you are inviting the children of immediate family members, it is recommended to extend the rule to all families in that category, including both sides of the wedding couple's families.

Another approach is to set an age limit. Younger children are less likely to cause a disruption and are easier to keep satisfied, so you could consider only inviting children under a certain age. However, if you have a large number of older children, their behaviour may change, and you could end up with a playing field, which might not be ideal.

If you are inviting children who are not related to you, it is generally considered all or nothing. You can make exceptions for children who are in the wedding party, but be prepared for some parents to be upset if their children are not invited. It is important to be direct and honest in your invitations and to address them only to the adults if you are not inviting their children.

• Consider the number of children you would be inviting. If you have a large number of children, it may be more manageable to invite only a select few.
• Think about the relationship between the children and the couple. If the children are close relatives or have a special connection to the couple, it may be more appropriate to invite them.
• Decide whether you want a child-friendly wedding. If you are not planning a child-friendly event, it may be best to limit the number of children invited.
• Discuss the decision with your partner and close family or friends to get their input and ensure that you are comfortable with the choice.

Child entertainment

If you're inviting children to your wedding, it's important to keep them entertained. Here are some ideas to keep kids of all ages happy:

For babies and toddlers:

• Provide hearing protection for babies, as loud music can cause hearing damage.
• For breastfeeding babies, consider allowing the mother and baby to attend. Alternatively, discuss with the parents whether they can organise a babysitter.
• Babies are unlikely to disrupt the ceremony or reception, but there is always a chance they may cry.

For children aged 6 months to 12 years:

• Provide colouring books, crayons, and other quiet distractions during the ceremony.
• Set up a kids' area with toys, puzzles, and games to keep them entertained during the reception.
• Organise a separate kids' room with a babysitter, movies, games, and simple art projects.
• Create activity books, colouring pages, or word puzzles to complement your wedding programs.
• For older children, assign them roles such as ushers, programme distributors, or veil/gown holders during the ceremony.
• For the reception, they can manage a guest book or pass out favours.
• Provide a kids' menu with finger foods and fruit.
• Set up a kids' table with a babysitter or allow them to sit with their parents.

For teenagers:

• Teenagers can take on more mature roles such as junior bridesmaids or groomsmen.
• Include them in the reception festivities and offer non-alcoholic beverages at a cocktail hour bar.

General entertainment ideas:

• Set up a photo booth with props and costumes.
• Hire a DJ or live band to get everyone on the dance floor.
• Organise games such as a ring toss, piñata, or beer pong with champagne or prosecco.
• Have a face painter to give each guest a unique look.
• Set up a giant game of Twister on the lawn.
• Create a "kid kit" with picture books, puzzle games, stickers, and craft activities for each child.
• Set up a children's creche with a qualified nanny and toys.
• Hire a children's performer, such as a magician, clown, or singer.
• Set up a craft area with simple art supplies.
• Create a kids' movie area with cushions and popcorn.

Frequently asked questions