George Boyle
Wearing white to a wedding as a guest is a controversial topic. Some people consider it a fashion faux pas, while others believe the rule is outdated and has been taken to an extreme. The tradition of the white wedding dress began with Queen Victoria, and since then, it has been considered rude for guests to wear white to a wedding, as it is the bride's colour for the day. However, some modern exceptions exist, and some couples may even request that guests wear white. Ultimately, it is best to avoid wearing white to a wedding unless explicitly instructed to do so.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Etiquette | It is considered rude to wear a white dress as a guest at a wedding |
| Wearing white is seen as an attempt to steal attention from the bride | |
| It is considered a fashion faux pas | |
| Exceptions | It is acceptable to wear white if the couple has explicitly requested it |
| It is acceptable to wear a dress with a small amount of white in it, e.g. a print or pattern | |
| It is acceptable to wear a white button-down shirt if you are wearing a suit |
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What You'll Learn
The tradition of wearing white wedding dresses
Over time, as white dresses became more popular, they also became imbued with new symbolism. In many societies, the colour white has long been associated with purity and virtue, so it began to be seen as an ideal colour for a wedding dress. Etiquette books further reinforced the idea that white was a symbol of status, innocence and virginal purity. By the end of the 19th century, white wedding dresses were the garment of choice for elite brides, although middle-class brides did not fully embrace the trend until after World War II.
The portrayal of weddings in Hollywood, as well as the widespread publication of celebrity wedding photographs, helped to further cement the notion that brides should wear white. Iconic wedding dresses, such as Grace Kelly's gown in 1956, Princess Diana's ivory silk taffeta dress in 1981, and more recently, Kate Middleton's Alexander McQueen gown, have all inspired copycat brides.
Today, the tradition of wearing a white wedding dress is still popular, although it is no longer limited to the wealthy. Brides from all economic backgrounds often choose to wear white, although it is no longer expected that they will wear the dress again, as was once the custom.
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Avoiding white: other colours and prints to consider
When it comes to wedding guest attire, it's important to keep the event's dress code in mind. Colours like white, ivory, cream, champagne, and beige are generally considered off-limits for guests as they are too close to the bride's dress. However, there are plenty of other colours and prints to choose from that will complement the overall theme and palette of the wedding.
For spring weddings, light colours like pastels, light blues, and floral prints are perfect for capturing the feeling of the season. Formal spring weddings may call for floor-length dresses with floral prints, while cocktail attire weddings allow for midi or above-the-knee dresses.
In the autumn, darker colours like burgundy, navy blue, and forest green pair well with the changing leaves. Rich hues and fabrics like velvet and sequins add a bit of sparkle to your look. For winter weddings, classic holiday colours like red and green are a good choice. A winter wedding is also a great opportunity to wear pants or a jumpsuit.
If you're unsure about a particular colour or print, you can add a bright pop of colour with accessories like a belt, earrings, or statement jewellery. It's also a good idea to refer to the couple's wedding website or invitation for any dress code information.
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White with a print: is it still acceptable?
It is widely considered a fashion faux pas for a guest to wear white to a wedding. The tradition of the white wedding dress began when Queen Victoria married Prince Albert in 1840, and wearing white as a guest has long been considered a breach of etiquette.
However, some modern exceptions exist. Wedding stylist Gabrielle Hurwitz recommends a 75-25 ratio of colour to white for guests wishing to wear a white dress with a print. She also suggests adding a pop of colour with accessories. Other experts advise that wearing white is acceptable only when the couple has specifically requested it.
The scale of the print may also be a factor. Large, colourful patterns that clearly distinguish the dress from a bridal outfit are more likely to be considered acceptable. Small floral prints, on the other hand, may be too similar to bridal gowns and are best avoided.
Ultimately, opinions vary, and it is important to consider the preferences of the couple. If in doubt, it is best to avoid wearing white to a wedding.
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The bride's opinion: how to ask without offending
It is widely considered a breach of etiquette for a guest to wear white to a wedding. The tradition of the white wedding dress began with Queen Victoria's marriage to Prince Albert in 1840. Since then, white has been seen as the bride's colour for the day. Wearing white as a guest could be seen as an attempt to steal attention from the bride and cause confusion.
However, there are some exceptions to this rule. For example, if the couple has specifically requested that guests wear white, it may be acceptable. This might be the case for a themed wedding or a destination wedding with a relaxed dress code. In these instances, the couple will usually specify this on the invitation, wedding website, or through direct communication.
If you are unsure about wearing a white dress to a wedding, it is best to ask the bride directly. Here are some ways to approach the conversation without offending her:
- Begin by acknowledging the social norms around this topic. You could say something like, "I know it's usually considered taboo for guests to wear white to weddings, but I wanted to ask your opinion on this dress I fell in love with." This shows that you are aware of the potential sensitivity of the matter.
- Emphasize that you want to respect her wishes and avoid any confusion or discomfort on her special day. For example, "I want to make sure that I'm respecting your vision for the wedding and not doing anything that might take attention away from you."
- Provide specific details about the dress in question. For instance, you could send her a picture of the dress or describe its style, length, and fabric. This will help her make an informed decision.
- Be open to her feedback and willing to adjust your choice if she expresses discomfort. You could say, "Of course, I completely understand if you would prefer me to choose something else. I just wanted to check with you first because I value your opinion."
- If she gives you the go-ahead, express your gratitude and reassure her that you will ensure your overall look is distinct from hers. For example, "Thank you so much for understanding! I'll make sure my hair and accessories are different from yours to avoid any potential mix-ups."
Remember, the key is to approach this conversation with sensitivity, respect, and a willingness to adapt to the bride's preferences.
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White at wedding-related events: bridal showers, etc
Wedding season is upon us, and with it comes bridal showers and a whole host of related events. One of the most frequently asked questions about these events is: can guests wear white?
The tradition of brides wearing white dates back to the Victorian era, specifically when Queen Victoria wore a white gown to her wedding in 1840. The white dress symbolised purity, innocence, and new beginnings, and this sentiment resonated in many Western cultures. Today, the white dress remains a symbol of the bride's special status, and it is often considered her moment to stand out from the crowd. This is why wearing white as a guest has traditionally been frowned upon—it could be seen as an attempt to upstage the bride, whether at the wedding itself or associated celebrations like the bridal shower.
However, modern bridal trends are ever-evolving, and this includes the norms surrounding bridal showers. Contemporary fashion and societal changes now champion individuality over rigid traditions. This progression is evident in the varied bridal shower attire choices we see today. Guests might wear patterned white dresses that are easily distinguishable from traditional bridal gowns, while some brides opt for non-white attire. Many bridal showers today embrace a more relaxed and intimate vibe, with comfortable morning gowns or bathrobes, reflecting a shift towards personalised and cosy gatherings.
Ultimately, it is essential to respect the bride's feelings and the specific context of the event. If you're unsure about wearing white, consider adding a pop of colour with bold, colourful jewellery, such as statement necklaces, vibrant earrings, or chunky bracelets. Shoes are another way to express your style while ensuring your ensemble doesn't appear too bridal. From bright pumps to patterned sandals, your choice of footwear can transform the overall feel of your outfit.
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Frequently asked questions
No. It is generally considered a fashion faux pas and may be seen as an attempt to steal attention from the bride and groom on their special day.
It is still generally advised against. Etiquette expert Diane Gottsman says, "As far as I am concerned, if the dress is white with a print over it, it still is white."
Yes, if the couple has explicitly requested that guests wear white, it is acceptable.
