Big Day, Big Wedding: When 'I Do' Becomes 'We Did Too Much

Planning a wedding can be stressful, and one of the first things to consider is the size of the wedding party. A large wedding party can be overwhelming and costly, whereas a smaller, more intimate gathering can be easier to plan and coordinate. Deciding on the number of guests can be tricky, but it's important to keep your budget and venue space in mind. A large wedding party can also lead to more drama and stress, especially if you're an introverted person. It's essential to choose your wedding party wisely and be clear about expectations and responsibilities. Remember, this day is about you and your partner, so don't be afraid to set boundaries and make decisions that align with your vision.

Budgeting for a big wedding

Define Your Budget

Start by setting a realistic budget that you are comfortable with. This will be your guide throughout the planning process. Be sure to factor in all possible expenses, including the cost per guest, which includes food, drinks, cake, and entertainment. It's important to remember that the cost per guest can vary depending on location, so research and plan accordingly.

Prioritize Your Guest List

With a large wedding, it's essential to prioritize your guest list. While you may want to invite everyone you know, it's important to consider your budget and the overall guest experience. Ask yourself who you truly want to celebrate with and be mindful of your venue's capacity. Creating an "A" list of must-have guests and a "B" list of guests you can invite if budget allows can be a helpful strategy.

Choose Your Venue Wisely

The venue you choose will have a significant impact on your budget. Opt for a space that can accommodate your guest list comfortably without being too spacious, as this can increase costs. Consider venues that offer package deals or all-inclusive options, as these can often provide better value for money.

Be Strategic with Your Vendors

When it comes to vendors, such as caterers, photographers, and entertainment, be strategic. Research and compare prices, read reviews, and don't be afraid to negotiate. Look for vendors who can offer customized packages that fit your specific needs and budget. It's also a good idea to ask for recommendations from friends or family who have recently planned weddings.

Plan Ahead and Be Flexible

Start planning early to secure the best deals and avoid last-minute price increases. Be flexible with your dates and consider off-peak seasons or weekdays for your wedding, as these tend to be more affordable. The more time you give yourself to plan and book vendors, the more likely you are to stay within your budget.

Consider DIY Options

If you're crafty or have friends and family who are, consider DIY options for certain aspects of your wedding. For example, you could design and print your own invitations, create your own centerpieces, or bake your own wedding cake. Just be mindful of the time and resources required and don't take on more than you can handle.

Remember, a big wedding doesn't have to mean a big budget. With careful planning, smart choices, and a bit of creativity, you can have the wedding of your dreams without sacrificing your financial well-being.

Venue space

When it comes to wedding planning, venue space is a crucial consideration. If you're concerned about your wedding being too big, here are some factors to keep in mind regarding venue space:

Firstly, it's important to select a venue that can comfortably accommodate your guest list. This means considering not just the number of guests but also the size of your wedding party. A large number of attendants in a small venue can make the space feel cramped and overwhelming for your guests. It's advisable to choose a venue that is proportional to your guest count. This ensures that your wedding party doesn't overwhelm the guests and that everyone has enough space to move around and enjoy the celebrations.

Additionally, when touring venues, it's essential to consider the various spaces within the venue. Will your wedding party fit comfortably in the ceremony space, or will you need to make alternate arrangements? Are there adequate getting-ready rooms for the bridal party to prepare before the event? Considering these details ahead of time can help you avoid last-minute stresses.

Another factor to keep in mind is transportation. If you plan on having a limo or party bus for your wedding party, ensure that the vehicle has enough capacity for everyone. You don't want to end up with a situation where your party doesn't fit comfortably in the transportation you've arranged.

Budgeting is also key when it comes to venue space. The cost of a venue often increases with size, so be mindful of your financial constraints when making your selection. A larger venue usually means a larger guest list, which can significantly impact your budget. Not only will you have to consider the cost per guest for food, drinks, and other amenities, but a bigger guest list may also require you to increase your spending on flowers, wedding party gifts, and other treats.

Finally, don't forget to trust your instincts. If you feel that a venue is too small for your wedding party and guest list, it probably is. Opt for a space that allows for comfortable movement and ensures that your guests and wedding party can celebrate without feeling cramped or overcrowded.

Wedding party size

Planning a wedding can be a stressful task, especially when it comes to deciding on the size of your wedding party. Here are some factors to consider when determining the size of your wedding party:

Guest Count

Most experts agree that the smartest way to decide on the size of your wedding party is to base it on the number of guests. This ensures that the wedding party does not overwhelm the guests. For example, if you are having a large 300-person wedding, a bigger wedding party won't seem out of place. On the other hand, a smaller, more intimate wedding may be better suited to a smaller wedding party.

Budget

Budgeting for a wedding can be tricky, and the cost of the wedding party can add up quickly. A larger wedding party means spending more on flowers, gifts, dinners, and other treats. If you're working with a tight budget, consider scaling down the size of your wedding party to save costs.

Venue Space

Another important factor to consider is whether your venue has enough space to accommodate your wedding party. Ensure that your venue can comfortably fit your wedding party during the ceremony, in transport, and in the getting-ready rooms. If not, you may need to make alternate arrangements, such as reserving a hotel suite or upgrading to a party bus.

Relationship with Wedding Party Members

Anyone you ask to be a part of your wedding party should ideally be a close family member or friend. If you're asking people out of obligation, you may want to reconsider. A large wedding party can also make it challenging to coordinate and may lead to more stress, especially if some members of the wedding party don't get along or start complaining about expenses.

Your Personal Preference

Ultimately, the decision on the size of your wedding party comes down to your personal preference and what will make you happy. If you're an introverted person, having a smaller wedding party may be more suitable. Conversely, if you have a large group of close friends or family members you want to include, a bigger wedding party may be the right choice.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of wedding party size. The most important thing is to make sure that you and your partner are comfortable and happy with the decision.

Guest list

Deciding on the guest list for your wedding can be a daunting task. Here are some tips to help you navigate this process and determine who to invite:

Set a Total Guest Count

First, determine the maximum number of guests your venue and budget will allow. This will help you establish a baseline and ensure you don't invite more people than you can accommodate or afford.

Divide the Guest List

There are a few approaches to dividing the guest list:

• Equal thirds: Allocate one-third of the guest list to you, one-third to your parents, and one-third to your future in-laws.
• 50/25/25 Split: Keep 50% of the guest list for you and your partner, and assign 25% to each set of parents. If there are multiple sets of parents, each side gets 25% in total.

If you and your partner are paying for the wedding, you may want to increase your allocation, and that's perfectly acceptable.

Account for Package Deals

Remember that some guests come as a "package deal." For example, you'll likely need to invite the officiant's spouse, the parents of children in your wedding party, and the spouse or live-in partner of each invited guest.

Plus-Ones

Decide on a clear rule for plus-ones to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. For instance, you could set a minimum relationship duration (e.g., six months) as the criterion for inviting a significant other.

Children

If you're planning an adults-only wedding, communicate this gently to the parents in your circle. You could also set an age cutoff, such as only inviting children over a certain age (e.g., 14 years old).

Reciprocity

Consider reciprocity when it comes to friends. If you attended a friend's wedding within the last year, especially if it was a similar size or you're inviting mutual friends, it's polite to invite them to your wedding as well.

People to Consider Crossing Off Your Guest List

Now, let's talk about some people you might want to cross off your guest list:

• Distant relatives: You're not obligated to invite every relative, especially those you haven't spoken to in years.
• Distant friends: If you're no longer close or don't speak frequently, you can remove them from the list, especially if you're keeping your wedding intimate.
• Coworkers: Just because you work with someone or occasionally eat lunch together doesn't mean they need to be invited, unless you're very close.
• Old acquaintances: If you're only inviting someone because they invited you to their wedding years ago and you're no longer in regular contact, feel free to cross them off.
• Neighbours: Unless you're on friendly terms with your neighbours, you don't have to invite them just because they live next door.
• Friends with a track record: If you have a friend known for unruly behaviour at weddings or getting kicked out of venues, consider whether they're a must-invite. If they are, set clear ground rules or arrange for extra security.
• Plus-ones you've never met: You're not obligated to give a plus-one to guests who aren't in a relationship, and even if they are, you don't have to invite someone you've never met.

Final Thoughts

Remember, your wedding is about celebrating your love with the people who matter most to you. Don't be afraid to set boundaries and make tough decisions to stay within your budget and create the intimate gathering you envision.

Planning and coordination

Planning and coordinating a wedding can be a stressful and overwhelming experience. Here are some tips to help you navigate the process more effectively:

Full-Service Planning:

Consider hiring a full-service wedding planner who will be by your side throughout the entire journey, from concept to execution. They can help with searching for and soliciting vendors, attending vendor meetings, reviewing contracts, creating monthly timelines, and planning and running the rehearsal. This option is ideal if you want someone to manage all the details while you focus on your special day.

Partial Planning:

If you already have your date, venue, and a few vendors locked in but need help with the rest, partial planning services can step in. They will assist in finding final vendors, designing and coordinating the wedding day, and providing day-of coordination. This option gives you more flexibility and control while still benefiting from professional guidance.

Day-of Coordination:

Day-of coordination services typically begin one month before the wedding. They include reviewing vendor contracts, attending final vendor meetings, leading the rehearsal, and overseeing the setup and breakdown of the ceremony and reception facilities. This option ensures that you can relax and enjoy your wedding day without the stress of managing all the logistics.

Managing Vendors:

When working with vendors, it's important to give them the benefit of the doubt and avoid micromanaging. Communicate your clients' vision and priorities clearly, and work collaboratively to create a schedule that fits everyone's needs. Confirm all details with vendors before the wedding to avoid unnecessary stress on the big day.

Attire and Comfort:

As a wedding planner, it's essential to dress professionally and comfortably. Layering works well, especially for outdoor events. You may want to bring a change of clothes for the setup if it's a casual outfit and then change into professional attire for the wedding itself.

Stress Management:

Wedding planning can be emotionally and physically exhausting. It's crucial to make time for self-care and stress management. Practice consistent self-care activities such as yoga, meditation, or exercise to reduce your reactions to stressful situations. Additionally, focus on your priorities and non-negotiables to avoid getting overwhelmed by the countless details.

Frequently asked questions