Wedding Alcohol: Guests Paying, Good Or Bad Idea?

Asking wedding guests to pay for their own alcohol is a controversial topic. Some people consider it “tacky and rude, arguing that it is the responsibility of the couple or hosts to pay for their guests' drinks. Others are more accepting of the idea, especially if the couple is on a tight budget. There are also cultural differences, with some communities having a tradition of toonie bars where guests pay a small amount for their drinks. Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide what is best for their wedding, but they should be prepared for varying reactions from their guests.

It's a faux pas

It is generally considered a faux pas to make wedding guests pay for their alcohol. While it may be understandable to worry about guests overindulging in free alcohol, it is important to remember that as a host, you are expected to provide for your guests.

One source suggests that it is “rude and tacky” to have guests pay for their drinks, comparing it to inviting someone to your home for dinner and then charging them for a glass of wine. It is also noted that guests will likely incur other expenses such as gifts, travel, and accommodations, so asking them to pay for drinks on top of that is seen as inconsiderate.

Another source advises that if you are worried about costs, it is better to downgrade to just beer and wine, or not offer any alcohol at all, rather than asking guests to pay. This is supported by another commenter who says that they would think the couple was “cheap” if they made guests pay for drinks.

While some people may be more accepting of the idea of a cash bar, the general consensus is that it is not good etiquette. It is seen as failing to properly host your guests, and it may leave a negative impression on your wedding day.

If you are concerned about certain guests overindulging, there are other ways to address this issue. For example, you could hire security for potential rowdy guests or professional bartenders who can monitor alcohol consumption. You could also consider having a signature drink, beer, and wine-only option, which can help reduce costs while still providing an open bar.

Bride's unusual request

An anonymous bride-to-be has sparked an online debate about wedding etiquette after asking if it would be appropriate to make her wedding guests pay for their drinks. The woman, who is based in Australia, took to Reddit to explain the reasoning behind her unusual suggestion of a cash-only bar for her upcoming nuptials.

The bride-to-be expressed concern about a few individuals on both sides of the family who are "terrible drunks", worrying that they would "take advantage" of an open bar and become "terrible to be around". She also mentioned that she and her partner are from Canada and have been considered common-law partners for almost eight years, so they are not interested in having a large wedding reception. Instead, they want to have a small celebration with their nearest and dearest.

The woman also offered some compromises, including providing a bottle of red and white wine on each table and a glass of punch on arrival. She also mentioned the possibility of a "toonie bar", a popular trend in Canada where guests pay $2 per drink. However, she is concerned that this suggestion might make her seem "cheap" and "tacky".

The post has divided opinions, with some commenters agreeing with the bride-to-be and insisting that it is not necessary to provide an open bar at a wedding. Others, however, find the idea of a cash bar at a wedding offensive and suggest that the couple should cut costs in other areas if they are worried about their budget. Some also pointed out that a cash bar would not necessarily prevent drunkenness, and suggested hiring professional bartenders and security staff instead.

The discussion highlights the challenges of planning a wedding while navigating family dynamics and financial constraints. While the bride-to-be's concerns about certain guests' drinking habits are valid, the suggestion of a cash bar may not be the best solution. It remains to be seen what decision the couple will make, but the online debate continues to rage on.

Tacky or not?

So, you've received your wedding invitation, picked out your outfit, and are looking forward to a great day celebrating the happy couple. But when you get to the reception, you find out that drinks aren't included and you'll have to pay for your own alcohol. Tacky, right?

Well, it's certainly a divisive topic. Some people think it's unacceptable and that the couple should provide food and drinks for their guests. They argue that it's the same as inviting someone to your home for dinner and then asking them to pay for their food and drinks. It's also worth noting that guests may already be spending a lot of money on gifts, travel, and accommodation, so asking them to pay for their drinks on top of that can be seen as an additional burden.

On the other hand, some people don't see an issue with it, especially if there are guests who are known to overindulge. It's not uncommon for people to have a set budget for their wedding and if they can't afford an open bar, a cash bar might be their only option.

In some social circles, a cash bar is considered socially acceptable, while others view it as a definite no-no. It's also worth noting that some guests may not bring cash to a wedding, so a cash bar could be inconvenient for them.

One alternative suggestion is to have a limited bar with only beer and wine, or a signature drink, which can be more affordable than a full open bar. Another option is to provide welcome drinks and wine on the tables, but no open bar during the reception.

Ultimately, it's up to the couple to decide what works best for them and their budget. However, if they choose to have a cash bar, it's a good idea to communicate this to guests in advance so they can come prepared.

Guests' expenses

It is generally considered rude to ask wedding guests to pay for their own meals or drinks. The consensus is that, as a host, you should provide everything and pay for it all. This is no different from inviting someone to your house for a dinner party and then charging them for a glass of wine. Guests will likely already be incurring other expenses, such as buying a gift, travel, and accommodation, so asking them to pay for their drinks is seen as an insult.

One option to reduce costs is to only offer beer and wine, or to not offer any alcohol at all. Another option is to have a 'toonie bar', which is when guests pay a small amount, such as $2, for a drink. However, this is still considered a 'no-no' by some, who believe that guests shouldn't have to pay for any drinks.

If you are worried about costs, there are other ways to cut down on expenses. For example, you could reduce the number of guests, choose a less expensive venue, or have the wedding during a non-meal time and serve cake and punch.

Some people have suggested that a cash bar is preferable to no bar at all. However, others disagree, saying that they would be inclined to leave after eating if it was a cash bar, as they rarely bring cash to weddings.

It is worth noting that some people believe it is acceptable to ask guests to pay for their drinks, depending on their social circle. Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide, but it is important to be aware that some guests may be offended by the idea of paying for their drinks at a wedding.

Cash bars don't prevent drunkenness

While a cash bar can be a good way to save money and prevent over-drinking, it does not guarantee that guests will not get drunk. In fact, some people argue that a cash bar won't deter "drunks" from drinking excessively.

A cash bar at a wedding can be seen as going against the core tenets of hospitality. As wedding planner and event designer Laura Ritchie says, "If you’re inviting someone to something, you should be prepared to host them. If you don’t have the means to host properly, don’t try to piecemeal it together."

If you're worried about guests getting too drunk, there are other measures you can take. For example, you could hire security for potentially rowdy guests, or give a designated bartender or staff member the authority to cut off guests who have had too much to drink.

Additionally, a cash bar can cause interruptions to the flow of the evening, as bartenders mixing drinks and running cards will result in longer lines.

Therefore, while a cash bar may be a cost-saving measure, it is unlikely to prevent drunkenness and may create other issues during your wedding.

Frequently asked questions