Superstitions And Wedding Dates: Bad Luck To Change?

Changing your wedding date can be a stressful and difficult experience. It is a common belief in English folklore that Saturday is the unluckiest day to marry, and that a wedding on this day will bring no luck at all. However, it is unclear whether changing your wedding date to or from a Saturday is considered bad luck. While it may be annoying to change your plans, it can also be an opportunity to make adjustments and improvements to your original plans. For example, you may be able to book a venue or caterer that was previously unavailable, or change your menu options.

Communicating the change to guests

Changing your wedding date is often due to unforeseen circumstances, such as a global pandemic, natural disaster, or other unexpected events. While it may be a challenging decision, it's important to communicate any changes to your guests as soon as possible. Here are some detailed instructions and suggestions for doing so:

Use Digital Communication:

Send an email, update your wedding website, or use social media and text messages to reach out to your guests. This is the quickest and most efficient way to inform everyone about the change of plans. You can also follow up with a physical card or announcement if you prefer.

Keep the Message Simple:

Focus on communicating the basic and important information. Let your guests know that the wedding will not take place on the original date as planned. You don't need to include details such as dress code or gift registry at this point.

Express Regret and Excitement:

It's important to acknowledge any inconvenience the change may cause. Express your apologies and also your excitement to celebrate with them at a later stage. This will help keep your guests engaged and excited about your big day.

Provide a New Date (If Available):

If you have already set a new wedding date, be sure to include it in your communication. This will allow guests to adjust their plans accordingly. If you haven't finalized the new date yet, that's okay too. Just let them know that you will provide an update as soon as possible.

Example Message:

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, we regret to inform you that our wedding will not take place on [original date] as planned. We are excited to celebrate with you at a later date, and we will provide an update as soon as we have more information. Please keep safe, and we look forward to sharing our special day with you!"

Follow Up with a Physical Announcement:

After your initial digital communication, consider sending a physical "change-the-date" card or announcement. This can be designed to match your wedding theme, using similar fonts, colours, and designs as your original save-the-date or invitation. This will help to keep your guests excited and engaged.

Remember, it's completely normal for wedding plans to change, and your guests will understand. Communicating the change as early as possible will ensure that everyone can adjust their plans accordingly.

Losing money on deposits

Changing your wedding date can be an expensive decision, as deposits are often non-refundable. However, this depends on the terms of your contract and the willingness of your vendors to negotiate.

Firstly, check your contract for cancellation policies. If you cancel, you will likely lose your deposit, but some contracts may allow for partial refunds if you cancel by a certain date. Changing your date is often treated as a cancellation, so your original deposit may be forfeited, and you will need to make a new one for the new date.

It is worth contacting your vendors to discuss your options. Some may be willing to transfer your deposit to the new date, especially if it is far enough in the future that they can fill your original date with another booking. If you are changing the date due to unforeseen circumstances, it may be worth explaining this to your vendors; they might be sympathetic and offer a refund or a credit to use their services at a later date.

Be aware that even if you are able to transfer your deposit, some venues may charge a date change fee. It is also important to contact your vendors as soon as possible, as the more notice you give, the more likely they will be able to fill your original date.

Wedding superstitions

Asian Wedding Superstitions

In traditional Chinese weddings, a "Good Luck Woman" holds a red umbrella over the bride's head as she leaves with the groom. The umbrella symbolises protection from evil, and relatives shower rice and red and green beans. In some provinces, the perfect date is chosen by slaughtering a chicken.

Hindu, Muslim, and Sikh weddings often involve applying henna to the bride's hands and feet, with the superstition that darker henna indicates a stronger marriage. Rain on the wedding day is considered a blessing, bringing wealth and fertility.

A superstition from northern India involves tying gold and red ornaments to the bride's choora and moving her hands above unmarried women's heads. The girl upon whom the ornaments fall is believed to be the next to marry.

European Wedding Superstitions

The rhyme, "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence in her shoe," is a common tradition originating from Victorian England. Each item symbolises the bride's past, new chapter, happiness, and purity, respectively, while the sixpence promises lasting wealth.

Another widespread superstition is that the groom must not see the bride before the wedding, which stems from the era of arranged marriages.

English folklore suggests that Wednesday is the luckiest day to marry, while Saturday is the unluckiest. Sprinkling the bride with wheat or rice brings fruitfulness, and throwing shoes overhead is considered good luck.

African Wedding Superstitions

In Egypt, it is customary for women to pinch the bride before her wedding to bring her good luck.

North American Wedding Superstitions

A Mexican superstition involves sewing coloured ribbons into the bride's dress, each colour symbolising blessings of food, wealth, and a passionate marriage.

In Nicaragua, some brides avoid wearing pearls on their wedding day, as they are believed to be "tears of the sea," bringing sadness to the marriage.

Changing the wedding date announcement

Changing a wedding date is not uncommon, especially with the recent upheaval caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. It is important to remember that these times are unprecedented, and you should not get too caught up in what is considered "proper etiquette". The most important thing is what is right for you and your partner.

Change-the-Date Card

If you have already sent out invitations and have several months before the new wedding date, you can alert your guests in a formal way with proper stationery. This option is more time-consuming and costly than digital alternatives but may be preferred for a more traditional or formal wedding.

Change-the-Date Evite

If your wedding invitations have already been sent out and your new date is approaching, you can use online platforms or local stationery vendors to create a custom digital invitation. This option is faster and more cost-effective than traditional cards and is useful if you need to get the word out quickly.

Change-the-Date Email and Wedding Website Update

If you need to inform your guests immediately (e.g. if your wedding is next week), an email is the most efficient way to do so. For less tech-savvy guests, you may need to make a few phone calls. Be sure to update your wedding website and include the link in your email. If your new date is further in the future, you can always follow up with a formal change-of-date wedding invitation after the initial email.

Change-the-Date Text

If you have a lengthy guest list, texting may be a more convenient option than calling. This method is fast and simple, and you can follow up with printed or digital invitations later.

Change-the-Date Announcements from Designers

Designers have been quick to offer change-the-date announcements. For example, Shutterfly has offered complimentary reprinting for any events whose original dates have been affected, and Minted has put together a guide to the 2020 wedding season.

Wording Your Announcement

You may want to include a line in your announcement about any safety measures you plan to take on the big day, especially regarding COVID-19. Here are some examples of wording for your change-the-date announcement:

• "Due to unforeseen circumstances, we have postponed our wedding and look forward to celebrating with you on our new wedding date."
• "We're postponing our wedding celebration to a new date to be determined when it's safe for our family and friends. Thank you for understanding."
• "2020 may have changed our plans, but we know celebrating with you will be worth the wait!"
• "With faith, hope, and love, [Couple's names] invite you to celebrate their wedding on a new date."

Wedding planning fun

Wedding planning can be stressful, but it can also be fun! Here are some tips to keep the fun in wedding planning, even if you need to change your date:

Keep a Positive Mindset

Changing your wedding date can be a blessing in disguise. It's an opportunity to make adjustments and improvements to your plans. You can change anything you may have been unhappy about, such as the menu or the venue. Embrace the freedom that comes with postponing your wedding and remember that your wedding day will be amazing because of the love you share with your partner and the people gathered to celebrate with you.

Get Creative with Announcements

When announcing your date change, inject some fun and humour by incorporating your personality and a light-hearted tone. For example, send out an announcement like, "Isn't it just like us to be running late? We're changing the date and it's TBD!" Or, "Our date stood us up! Good thing we have each other! We're changing the date to [new date]—see you there!"

Stay Organised

Keep your wedding website updated so that guests can stay informed about any changes. If you've already sent out invitations, you may need to request RSVPs again, as some guests may not be able to make the new date or feel comfortable attending large gatherings.

Be Flexible and Pleasant

When dealing with venues and caterers, remain patient, pleasant, and flexible. The easier you are to work with, the more likely they will be willing to accommodate your changes and give you preferential treatment. If your original venue is being difficult, explore other options. Your dream venue may now be available!

Don't Lose Your Excitement

Remember that your wedding is still happening, and it will be one of the greatest days of your life. Your guests will be excited to celebrate with you, and you can lift their spirits by forging ahead with your plans. Sympathise with your guests' unique circumstances, as some may not feel comfortable attending large gatherings right away.

Frequently asked questions