Bridesmaids: A Film For All Ages?

Bridesmaids are a common feature of weddings, but are they appropriate? Bridesmaids are generally the closest friends and family of the bride, and they play a crucial supporting role in the lead-up to, and on, the big day. However, the role can be time-consuming and expensive, and some brides are choosing to forgo this tradition in favour of a more intimate or modern celebration. So, is it appropriate to have bridesmaids?

Emotional support

Planning a wedding can be stressful, so it's important for bridesmaids to be emotionally supportive and ensure the bride feels calm and cared for. This could involve helping the bride choose her attire for the wedding weekend, providing opinions on flowers, and simply making time to meet for coffee. Bridesmaids should also be there for moral support throughout the wedding planning process, taking things off the bride's to-do list, checking in with them, and spending time with them.

On the wedding day, bridesmaids should be available for any outfit adjustments, such as smoothing down the bride's veil or fluffing her train. They should also be on hand to pass the bride food and drinks, and to provide tissues or an encouraging smile as she says her vows.

Bridesmaids are also expected to provide emotional support during the lead-up to the wedding by helping to plan and pay for pre-wedding events such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party.

Planning pre-wedding events

Engagement Party:

The engagement party is one of the first pre-wedding celebrations and is usually held about three months after the engagement. It is often hosted by one or both families or by close friends. This event is a great way to gather close family and friends to share your exciting news and celebrate the journey towards marriage. There is no set structure, so feel free to get creative!

Bridal Shower:

The bridal shower is typically planned by the maid of honour with help from the bridesmaids. It is a pre-wedding celebration where guests, usually women, bring gifts and food. The party can be formal or casual, depending on the bride's preference, and should include only wedding guests. It is best to schedule the bridal shower about a month before the wedding, before the bride gets too busy with fittings and appointments.

Bachelorette and Bachelor Parties:

These parties are held separately for the bride and groom and are traditionally planned by the maid of honour and best man, respectively. They can be a wild night out, a relaxing spa day, or even a weekend getaway, depending on the preferences of the bride and groom. These events are a chance for the wedding party to bond and celebrate before the big day. They are usually held one to two months before the wedding but can be flexible.

Bridesmaid Luncheon:

The bridesmaid luncheon is an optional event to thank the bridesmaids for their hard work and is often held a couple of days before the wedding. It is an intimate gathering where the bride can present gifts to her bridesmaids. Light hors d'oeuvres or finger foods are typically served.

Rehearsal Dinner:

The rehearsal dinner is usually held the night before the wedding and is a more laid-back celebration. It provides an opportunity for the couple's family and friends to mingle and spend quality time together. The bride and groom should have the final say on the planning and menu of this event. This dinner is also when toasts are often given in the couple's honour.

Remember, each couple is unique, so feel free to adapt these pre-wedding events to fit your own preferences and traditions.

Attending the rehearsal dinner

The Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner is usually held the night before the wedding and is considered a kick-off to the main event. It can range from a small, intimate gathering with just the wedding party and close family to a larger, more formal affair, almost like a mini-reception. As a bridesmaid, you are expected to attend and may even be asked to give a toast. This event is a great opportunity to get to know the bride's close friends and family better and to enjoy some delicious food.

Dress Code

When deciding what to wear to the rehearsal dinner, it's essential to consider the dress code, which can range from casual to semi-formal or formal. Even if the event is casual, avoid distressed denim, shorts, or sneakers. Opt for something comfortable yet stylish, such as a fun printed sundress, a maxi dress, or stylish separates. For semi-formal attire, go for something classic and sophisticated, like a silk or crepe midi dress, an elegant jumpsuit, or a stylish pantsuit. If the dress code is formal, choose luxurious fabrics like satin, silk, or lace, and don't be afraid to dress up. Floor-length gowns or cocktail dresses that hit just above the ankle are perfect for this occasion. Remember, it's better to be overdressed than underdressed.

Venue and Season

The venue and season will also influence your outfit choice. For example, an upscale restaurant may call for a more elegant outfit, while a backyard rehearsal dinner allows for a more casual look. Consider the weather conditions and choose fabrics and sleeve lengths accordingly. Light and airy fabrics are ideal for summer, while thicker and more structured fabrics are suitable for winter.

Coordination and Communication

It's a good idea to coordinate your outfit with the other members of the bridal party, including the bride. Communicate with them to ensure you're all on the same page. Also, don't be afraid to ask the bride or other bridesmaids for guidance if you're unsure about the dress code or venue formality.

No White and No Flashy Outfits

Remember, it's not your wedding day, so avoid wearing white. Also, steer clear of anything too flashy or revealing. You don't want to detract from the bride's thunder!

Comfort and Practicality

While looking stylish is important, don't forget about comfort. Choose an outfit that allows you to move around and mingle easily. Also, consider the fact that you'll likely be eating, so opt for something that provides ease and flexibility.

In conclusion, attending the rehearsal dinner as a bridesmaid is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate with the bride and her loved ones. By choosing an appropriate outfit, coordinating with the bridal party, and providing emotional support, you'll play a crucial role in making the bride's rehearsal dinner memorable and stress-free.

Wedding day duties

On the wedding day, bridesmaids are typically expected to wake up early and get ready alongside the bride. This often involves having hair and makeup done, which can be a fun bonding experience for the bridal party. It is also the duty of the bridesmaids to ensure the bride is relaxed, happy, and has everything she needs. This might include bringing her food and drinks, helping her get dressed, and being on hand for any last-minute requests.

Bridesmaids should also be prepared to help with any final setup details at the wedding venue. This could include putting out decorations, setting up the guest book table, or even running last-minute errands for the couple or wedding coordinator. It is also common for bridesmaids to attend the bride while she is getting ready, helping her into her dress, fixing her veil, and ensuring she looks perfect for her grand entrance.

During the ceremony, bridesmaids will usually walk down the aisle before the bride, either alone or in pairs, and take their place near the bride during the ceremony. They may also be asked to participate in any cultural or religious rituals that are part of the wedding ceremony. After the ceremony, the bridal party is often expected to be present for photos, which can take place before or after the reception.

At the reception, bridesmaids traditionally participate in the grand entrance and may also be expected to join the bride and groom in their first dance. Throughout the reception, bridesmaids should be prepared to mingle with guests, encourage them to join in on the festivities, and generally ensure everyone is having a good time. It is also common for bridesmaids to give a speech or toast to the newlyweds, sharing fun stories and well-wishes for the couple.

Post-wedding duties

While the majority of a bridesmaid's duties will occur before and during the wedding, there are still some tasks to be done after the couple ties the knot. Here are some post-wedding duties for bridesmaids:

• Attend the farewell party or post-wedding brunch: The couple may host a farewell party or post-wedding brunch the morning after the wedding. It is expected that you attend as a bridesmaid, so be sure to know the timing and location details. It's also a thoughtful touch to text the newlyweds to see if they need anything delivered to their room, like extra-large coffees.
• Help with gathering and organising miscellaneous items: Offer to help take leftover items back to the hotel or return any rentals to the vendor. You may also need to help take down decorations, collect gifts and cards, and organise any miscellaneous items that need to be returned to the newlyweds or other bridesmaids.
• Settle outstanding payments: Don't delay settling any remaining expenses that need to be split among the bridal party. Send your payment requests to the other bridesmaids soon after the wedding to avoid catching anyone by surprise.
• Create a digital collection of photos and videos: While the couple awaits their official photos, which can take several weeks to receive, create a digital collection of any photos and videos taken by the wedding party.

Frequently asked questions