Writing Your Wedding Vows: A Guide To Personalizing Your Promises

Writing your own wedding vows is a daunting task. The promises you make to your partner are some of the most important words you'll ever say, so it's no surprise that many struggle with where to start. Here are some tips to help you craft the perfect vows.

First, don't leave it until the last minute. Give yourself plenty of time to write, revise, and take breaks. It's a good idea to jot down your initial thoughts and then come back to them later with a fresh perspective.

Second, use mementos, letters, gifts, and other meaningful objects for inspiration. These will remind you of special moments and inspire your words of love and devotion.

Third, agree on a format with your partner. Discuss the length, tone, and level of humour you're both comfortable with. You might even want to write your vows together, which some find extremely romantic.

Fourth, ask a trusted friend or family member to read your vows. This will help you hear how they sound and make sure you're not sharing anything that might embarrass your partner.

Fifth, make a list of the things you love about your partner. Write down your favourite memories, inside jokes, and hopes for the future. This will give you plenty of material to work with when crafting your vows.

Finally, don't get too personal or share TMI. Remember that your friends and family will be listening, so avoid anything that might make your partner uncomfortable.

Writing your own wedding vows is a beautiful way to express your love and commitment. With these tips, you'll be well on your way to creating vows that are heartfelt, unique, and truly yours.

Voice admiration

The first part of your wedding vows is all about expressing your affection and admiration for your partner. You've gathered your closest friends and family to celebrate your marriage—now is the time to get sentimental and gush about your partner publicly.

• "You are the greatest, most magnificent man I've ever known. I never believed much in destiny or fate until it led me to you."
• "I love your thoughtfulness and your ability to keep me grounded. I love your loyalty to me and our relationship. I love how you get excited about Chipotle water."
• "You are my best friend, my compass, my husband from this day forward. You welcomed Macy and Stella with open arms and loved them just as your own."
• "I vow to love you with the same determination and confidence you've given me. I am amazed by your inquisitive mind and tickled by your sense of humor."
• "I love you for the way you make me feel when we’re together and miss you so much when we’re apart. We’ve grown so much together, and you enrich my life and inspire me to be better."
• "You are the love of my life and I promise to adore you, cherish you and respect you for all the days of my life."

Vision cast for the future

When it comes to writing your wedding vows, it's important to paint a picture of the future you want to build with your partner. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Vision Casting for the Future

• "Together, we will build a home filled with love, laughter, and joy. A place where we can be ourselves, grow old together, and create lasting memories."
• "I promise to be your partner in life, supporting and encouraging you as we pursue our dreams. Whether we're navigating challenges or celebrating triumphs, I will always be by your side."
• "We will create a life filled with adventure, exploration, and new experiences. We will travel the world, try new things, and make lasting memories together."
• "Our future will be bright and full of love. We will face life's ups and downs together, supporting and uplifting each other through it all."
• "I promise to be your ally and biggest cheerleader. I will stand by your side, believing in you and our dreams. Together, we will conquer any obstacles that come our way."
• "Our home will be a place of peace, happiness, and mutual respect. We will nurture each other's interests and passions, encouraging each other to grow and flourish as individuals."
• "We will build a family, create a warm and loving home, and raise our children with kindness, compassion, and unconditional love."
• "Our future will be filled with love, laughter, and endless date nights. We will continue to flirt, have inside jokes, and create new memories together."
• "I promise to be your partner in crime, your confidant, and your best friend. We will navigate life's twists and turns together, always having each other's backs."
• "Our future will be an adventure, filled with growth, new experiences, and lasting memories. We will face challenges head-on, knowing that our love will see us through."

Make solid promises

Making solid promises is an essential part of writing your own wedding vows. A vow is, after all, a promise—and without specific promises, you're simply reciting a love letter or speech.

Number of Promises

A good rule of thumb is to include three to six promises. Any more than six promises and your vows may lose their impact and emotional significance.

Tone of Promises

You can choose the tone of your promises. Focus on promises that are specific to you, your partner, and your relationship. You can make only serious promises or include a few playful and humorous ones as well. Chose a style that fits your personality. However, even if your goal is to write funny wedding vows, include at least two serious promises to ground your vows.

Examples of Promises

• "I promise to trust and respect you."
• "I promise to laugh at your jokes... even the ones that are only kind of funny."
• "I promise to show appreciation for all the little things you do for me."
• "I promise to always put God first in our marriage."
• "I promise to be honest and faithful."
• "I promise to always put our love first."
• "I promise to choose adventure over tradition and to walk with you instead of alone."
• "I promise to chase your dreams alongside you."
• "I promise to create a home where we will become our own family."
• "I promise to build a happy and loving home with you."
• "I promise you my whole heart for my entire life."
• "I promise to travel the world with you."
• "I promise to watch your favorite reality TV shows with you."
• "I promise to not just say 'I love you' but to show you every day."
• "I promise to forgive quickly and to love you easily."
• "I promise to never forget how we began and allow that loving feeling to carry us through to our very end."
• "I promise you all of me, forever."

Additional Tips

• Think about what kind of partner you wish to be or how you want your future spouse to feel. These thoughts will help you discover promises.
• Find inspiration in unconventional areas, such as common arguments or ongoing challenges in your relationship. For example, if you're always running late for events, you could promise to "do your best to not always be late."
• Be concise, specific, and choose promises that feel very special to your unique relationship dynamic.
• Avoid using absolute words like "always" and "never." While it's fine to include these words in your vows, be careful not to make promises that are impossible to keep.

Remember, your wedding vows are a chance to solidify your commitment to your partner and share your vision for the future. By including solid promises, you'll be able to express your love and dedication authentically and meaningfully.

Connect with the audience

Writing your own wedding vows is a great way to connect with your audience, which in this case is your partner, friends, and family. Here are some tips to help you connect with your audience as you recite your vows:

• Write your vows together with your partner: This will give you both a chance to provide input and make the process easier. It can also be extremely romantic!
• Consider the audience: Remember that you are reciting your vows in front of your closest loved ones, so avoid sharing anything too personal or inappropriate. You can include inside jokes, but make sure they are appropriate and can be understood by your guests.
• Share personal stories: Recount romantic stories, funny anecdotes, or inspiring narratives about overcoming challenges. This will make your vows more interesting and engaging for your audience.
• Make it meaningful: Your vows are a chance to express your deepest feelings and set the tone for your married life. Share concrete promises and pledges that are unique to your relationship.
• Practice and prepare: Write your vows in advance, practice reading them out loud, and visualize the ceremony. This will help you feel more confident and comfortable when reciting your vows on the big day.
• Speak directly to your partner: Remember that your vows are a heartfelt conversation between you and your partner. Hold their hands, look into their eyes, and talk to them. This will help you stay focused and connected.
• Embrace your emotions: It's okay to cry or laugh during your vows. Your friends, family, and partner are there to support you and celebrate this special moment with you.

Conclude

The conclusion of your wedding vows is the perfect opportunity to reiterate the most poignant parts of your speech before neatly wrapping things up. Here are some tips for how to conclude your wedding vows:

• Make sure to include the words "I love you" at some point in your vows, whether at the beginning or the end.
• Reiterate your unwavering support for your partner and emphasise your intention to get through life's challenges together.
• Connect with your audience by sharing a story or anecdote that your guests will be able to resonate with, even if they weren't present when it first occurred.
• Make solid promises that reflect your commitment to your partner through both good and bad times.
• End with a statement about the future, such as how your love will help you through difficult times or how you will continue to grow and change the world together.
• Finish with a strong, romantic statement such as, "You are the love of my life, and I promise to adore you, cherish you and respect you for all the days of my life."

Frequently asked questions