The Art Of Addressing Wedding Invites: Navigating The Plus-One Name Game

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to navigating the tricky world of plus-ones. The general consensus is that it is best to have a blanket rule for plus-ones: either everyone is allowed to bring a date, or no one is. This avoids any potential drama or hurt feelings between guests. However, it is important to note that every wedding is different, and what works for one couple may not work for another. When deciding on your plus-one policy, consider your budget, your vision for the day, and your guests' needs.

How to address plus ones on invitations

When addressing plus ones on wedding invitations, it's important to be clear and direct to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. Here are some guidelines to follow:

Be Selective

Don't feel obligated to offer plus ones to every guest. It's your special day, and you can decide who gets a plus one based on your budget, venue size, and personal preferences. If you're having a small wedding, most guests will understand if their invitation doesn't include a plus one.

Know Your Guests

If you choose to offer plus ones, try to address the invitations to the guest and their partner by name. This shows that you respect their relationship and want to include them both. If you don't know the partner's name, reach out to your guest and ask. It's worth putting in a little extra effort to make them feel valued.

Use Proper Wording

When addressing the invitations, you can use various wordings to indicate a plus one is invited. One option is to write "Mr. Smith & Guest" on the envelope. Another option is to address the invitation to the guest only and add a note at the bottom or on the back, such as "You are invited to bring a guest" or "You are invited to bring a plus one". This makes it clear that they are welcome to bring someone.

Be Consistent

To avoid any drama or hurt feelings, try to have a consistent rule for plus ones. For example, you could decide that only guests who are married, engaged, or in a serious relationship can bring a plus one. This way, everyone is treated fairly, and there is less room for confusion.

Communicate Early

If you've decided not to offer plus ones, it's a good idea to mention it in advance during casual conversations about your wedding. Explain that your venue is small or that you're on a tight budget, so you can't accommodate extra guests. This will help to soften the news and make your guests understand your limitations.

Make it Clear on the RSVP

To avoid any misunderstandings, be very clear on the RSVP card. Write the invited guest(s) names yourself, leaving no room for them to add extra people. You can also add a section that states, "We have reserved _ seat(s) in your honour", filling in the blank with the number of invited guests.

Remember, it's your wedding, and you can decide who gets a plus one. Be considerate, consistent, and clear in your communication, and don't be afraid to set boundaries. Your guests will appreciate your honesty and transparency.

Who should get a plus one?

When deciding who should get a plus one, it's important to keep your budget, vision for the day, and guests' needs in mind. While there are no set rules, here are some guidelines and considerations to help you make this decision:

Married, Engaged, and Cohabitating Guests

Traditionally, spouses, fiancés, and live-in partners of each guest should receive an invitation. This is considered standard etiquette, even if you haven't met them or aren't particularly close with them. It's a way to acknowledge and respect their union.

Wedding Party Members

It is courteous to extend a plus one to all members of your wedding party. This is a token of appreciation for their commitment, support, and efforts throughout your wedding journey. They have likely spent a significant amount of time, energy, and money to be a part of your special day, so offering them the option to bring a date is a nice gesture.

Outlier Guests

Consider offering a plus one to guests who won't know many other attendees. This could include out-of-town guests or individuals who are part of a friend group with several couples. It can be quite awkward to attend a wedding alone and not know anyone, so a plus one can make them feel more comfortable and included.

Couples in Serious or Long-Term Relationships

Guests who are engaged, live together, or are in a serious or long-term relationship should typically receive a plus one. This is especially important if you don't know their partner well. It's a way to respect their commitment and ensure they feel comfortable attending as a couple.

Single Guests Who Know Other Guests

Single guests who are part of a friend group or have a circle of friends or family at the wedding may not need a plus one. They will likely feel comfortable and have a good time surrounded by familiar faces, even without bringing a date.

Budget and Venue Constraints

Keep in mind that offering a plus one to every guest may not be feasible due to budget and venue constraints. Each additional guest incurs costs for food, drinks, favours, chair rentals, and more. If you are working with a limited budget or have a small venue, you may need to be more selective about who receives a plus one.

In conclusion, when deciding who should get a plus one, consider the guest's relationship status, their level of familiarity with other attendees, and your own budget and venue restrictions. Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach, so use your best judgment and make decisions that align with your vision for your wedding day.

Who doesn't need a plus one?

Deciding who doesn't need a plus-one can be a daunting task, but there are some general guidelines that can help you make this decision. Here are some tips to help you determine who doesn't need a plus-one for your wedding:

Single guests who are casually dating: If a guest has a new significant other every few months or hasn't been in a relationship for more than a year, giving them a plus-one is not a priority. This is especially true if your budget is limited. However, if you have the budget and want to be more inclusive, you can consider extending a plus-one to these guests.

Single people who will know other guests: Siblings, cousins, close friends, and others who are single but will know a decent amount of other guests at the wedding don't necessarily need a plus-one. They are likely to feel comfortable and have a good time without needing to bring someone.

Coworkers: Offering plus-ones to coworkers can quickly drive up costs and increase your guest count. Unless you are very close to your boss, in which case it is good etiquette to offer them a plus-one, it is generally best to avoid offering plus-ones to coworkers. If you do decide to offer plus-ones to coworkers, it is important to offer them to all coworkers to avoid any hurt feelings.

Evening-only wedding guests: If you are having a smaller ceremony and wedding breakfast, you can consider inviting additional guests to an evening-only reception. This can be a way to include more people in the celebration without having to offer plus-ones to everyone. Be sure to make this clear on your invitations or note cards.

When deciding who doesn't need a plus-one, it is important to be consistent and apply the same criteria to all guests to avoid any potential drama or hurt feelings. Communicate your decision clearly to your guests through your invitations, RSVP cards, and wedding website. Be prepared to politely decline any requests for exceptions to your rule. Ultimately, the decision is yours, and you should do what feels right for your wedding.

How to communicate the no plus ones rule

Deciding on a guest list for your wedding can be a tricky task, and the issue of plus-ones can be a source of tension and drama. Here are some tips and tricks on how to communicate the "no plus-ones" rule to your wedding guests:

Be Clear and Consistent

It is best to have a clear and consistent rule about plus-ones to avoid any potential drama or hurt feelings. A blanket rule, such as only allowing married or cohabiting couples to bring their partners, is the simplest way to avoid any confusion or resentment. This way, you avoid the situation where one cousin is allowed a plus-one while another is not, which could cause friction.

Inform Guests in Advance

Before sending out invitations, you could mention in casual conversation that your venue is small or that you are trying to stick to a strict budget, so you won't be allowing plus-ones. This way, your guests will not be surprised when they receive their invitations.

Address Invitations Correctly

When sending out invitations, it is vital to address them clearly and correctly. For weddings where plus-ones are allowed, the invitation would typically read "Mr John Smith plus Guest". If there is no "plus guest", the guest should understand that they are not allowed to bring a date. For families, instead of addressing the invitation to "the Smith family", write the names of the specific family members invited, e.g., "Mr and Mrs John and Sarah Smith".

Make it Clear on the RSVP Card

The RSVP card is a great tool to communicate the plus-one rule. Write your guest(s) names on the reply card yourself, leaving no room for them to add anyone else. You could also add a section saying, "We have reserved _ seat(s) in your honour", filling in the blank with the number of people invited.

Include an FAQ on Your Wedding Website

A FAQ section on your wedding website is a good way to address the plus-one issue without directly explaining it to your guests. Here is an example:

> Q: Can I bring a date (plus one) to your wedding?

> A: Unfortunately, due to budget and space limitations, we simply can’t afford for all of our lovely guests to bring a guest of their own. Therefore, we kindly ask that guests do not bring a plus one unless they are specifically named on the invitation. Thank you so much for understanding!

Be Prepared for Questions

Even if you make the "no plus-ones" rule absolutely clear, some guests may still ask if they can bring a guest. Decide how opposed you are to the idea of making exceptions, and be prepared to politely turn down requests if necessary. Explain your reasoning, if you feel comfortable, and offer to celebrate with the guest after the wedding instead. Remember, it is your wedding, and you do not owe anyone an explanation for your decisions.

Consider the Consequences

Finally, think about the consequences of not inviting someone's partner. If it will ruin a friendship or cause a lot of discomfort for the guest, it might be worth considering whether you can make space for one more.

How to respond to can I bring a guest?

When it comes to your wedding, you may encounter guests asking if they can bring a plus one. A plus one is a guest's guest, usually a partner or a date. While it is nice to allow guests to bring someone along, it can be a problem if you have a limited budget and seating. If you don't have the space or the budget, you'll need to break the news to your guests that they can't bring a date.

• Determine your willingness to accommodate the plus one: It's okay if you want to make an exception to the rule, but remember that this guest may talk to others about bringing a date, which could lead to more requests.
• Stick to your rule: If you've decided on a "no plus ones" rule or a specific limitation, explain this rule to the guest. For example, you could say, "We're only allowing guests who are married or cohabiting to bring their partners."
• Let them down gently: Be as polite as possible when turning down their request. You could say something like, "I'm sorry, but we don't have the space to accommodate plus ones. We would love to get together with you and celebrate after the wedding, though!"
• Explain your reasoning: You don't owe anyone an explanation, but it might help your guests understand and not take it personally. You could mention your budget constraints or the limited venue space.
• Be firm if needed: If a guest pushes back on your initial excuse, it's not rude to stand your ground and politely reiterate that you cannot add their date to the guest list.

Remember, the main purpose of having guests is to share your special day with your loved ones. If you don't want their date to attend, you will likely be happier that you declined their request, even if it feels uncomfortable to say no. And if a guest reacts negatively to your decision, you may reconsider whether you want them at your wedding at all.

Frequently asked questions