Deborah Chan
Wedding speeches are often one of the most memorable parts of the wedding reception. Whether you're the father of the bride, best man, maid of honour, or anyone else who has been asked to say a few words about the newlyweds, it can be nerve-wracking to stand up and give a wedding speech. However, with some preparation and thought, you can deliver a speech that will have your guests laughing and crying. So, if you've been asked to give a wedding speech and you're staring at a blank page, here are some tips to help you write a memorable, funny, and heartwarming speech.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Length | Between 2-5 minutes |
| Preparation | Plan ahead with the wedding planner or MC, prepare an outline and practice |
| Content | Focus on the couple, include both members, be sincere, use anecdotes and stories |
| Alcohol | Limit yourself to one or two drinks before the speech |
| Jokes | Be classy and PG-13, avoid vulgarity and inside jokes |
| Delivery | Make eye contact, don't rush, be confident |
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$16.7
What You'll Learn
Prepare in advance
Preparing in advance is key to giving a good wedding speech. Start by jotting down a few notes and ideas as soon as you know you'll be giving a speech. Brainstorm different sections of the speech, such as stories, messages, and blessings, and write down everything that comes to mind. This will ensure you have plenty of material to work with when you begin writing.
Next, spend some time reflecting on your relationship with the couple and what you want to say. Think about the tone you want to set and how you want the audience to feel. It's a good idea to keep the speech concise, honest, and authentic. You can also include props or visual aids to add a fun element to your speech.
Write the speech well in advance, aiming to have it written and ready to memorise two to three weeks before the wedding. This will give you ample time to practice and make any necessary edits. Practising will help you feel more confident and ensure your speech has a good flow. Practise reading your speech out loud and time yourself to ensure it falls within the ideal range of two to five minutes.
Remember to introduce yourself at the beginning of your speech, especially if you're not a close relative of the couple. This will help the audience understand your relationship to the newlyweds and set the context for your words.
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Make it personal
Making a wedding speech personal is a surefire way to make it memorable. It's an honour to be asked to give a speech at a wedding, but it can also be intimidating. The key to a great wedding speech is to make it about the couple and not about yourself. Focus on the couple's personalities, their synergy, and their individual and collective growth.
If you're trying to make a point about the couple, for example, that they are particularly loyal, don't just state it and move on. Pick a specific moment or story that proves your point. This will make your listeners really buy into what you're saying. If you don't know one member of the couple very well, don't be afraid to get creative. One idea is to read texts from your phone that give a timeline of your friend falling in love.
You can also make it personal by sharing a special moment with the couple. For example, you could talk about the adventures you've had with the bride or the groom, or a random night when a dude jumped locations and made out with both of you (if appropriate!). You could also share a brief, endearing story that resonates with the audience.
It's also important to remember that you're not putting on a show, only sharing your personal perspective. Keep it short and sweet, heartfelt and warm, and focus on the couple. This will generate some wonderful moments and make the couple feel special.
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Include both members of the couple
While most wedding speeches tend to focus on the speaker's relationship with one half of the couple, it's important to remember to include both members of the couple in your speech. If you don't know one of them very well, don't be afraid to get creative.
A good wedding speech should showcase who each person was before they met, their synergy together, and their individual and collective growth. Think about the big events in their relationship: how they met, their first date, and when they knew they were meant to be. You're looking for stories that show they're made for each other. For example, if they had a baby together, talk about how neither of them had changed a nappy before, and how they had to learn together.
If you're giving a joint speech with your partner, divide it so that you each have small sections to deliver and alternate throughout. You can also take turns delivering lines, with one person leading the thanks and the other adding a sweet or funny line at the end. For example, if you're thanking your parents, you might both say, "Mum, Dad, thank you for a lifetime of love, tolerance, and support."
If you're writing a speech about the couple, rather than giving one with your partner, it's still important to include both members. You can talk about each of their first impressions of the bride or groom, how the couple met or got engaged, or share childhood memories, such as the bride trying on her mother's wedding gown. You can also reach out to the couple beforehand to ask about significant moments in their relationship and how they feel about marriage.
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Keep it short and sincere
When it comes to wedding speeches, it's best to keep them concise and heartfelt. While you might be nervous about public speaking, remember that a short and sincere speech will be more engaging than a long-winded one. Here are some tips to help you write and deliver a memorable wedding speech that's short and sincere:
Start with a Strong Introduction
The introduction to your speech is crucial as it sets the tone for the rest of your words. Begin with a warm welcome and a sincere expression of gratitude for your guests' presence. You can also add a light-hearted joke or a personal anecdote to break the ice and make everyone feel comfortable. Just remember to keep it short and avoid inside jokes that only a few guests will understand.
Plan and Practice
Don't wing it! Give yourself plenty of time to write, edit, and practice your speech. Start preparing at least three months in advance, and aim to have a solid draft ready about six weeks before the wedding. This will give you ample time to refine your words, cut out anything unnecessary, and memorise the key points. Practice delivering your speech out loud, timing yourself to ensure it fits within the ideal 2-5 minute window.
Focus on the Couple
Remember, the wedding day is about the couple, so make sure your speech predominantly celebrates them. Share specific anecdotes and stories that showcase their individual personalities, their synergy together, and their growth as a pair. If you only know one half of the couple well, don't be afraid to get creative and ask the other person questions about their relationship, significant moments, and boundaries on sensitive topics.
Keep it Sincere
Since this is a wedding, embrace the sentimentality of the occasion. It's a day filled with love, joy, and gratitude, so let your personality shine through in your writing. Be sincere, authentic, and specific in your praise. How has their friendship impacted your life? When have you seen them at their happiest? What unique qualities do they possess? An honest and heartfelt speech will always be more engaging than a performance.
Finish with a Toast
Conclude your speech by proposing a toast to the happy couple. This is a traditional way to end your words on a positive and celebratory note. It's also a good idea to plan ahead with the wedding planner or MC so you know when you'll be speaking and can time your drinking accordingly! A drink or two might calm your nerves, but be mindful not to overindulge before your speech.
By keeping your speech short and sincere, you'll leave a lasting impression on the couple and the guests, creating a memorable moment that honours the newlyweds.
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Practice and prepare
Practice and preparation are your best allies against nerves. The more you prepare, the more confident you'll be, and the better your speech will be. It is a good idea to start thinking about your speech and collating anecdotes and ideas from family and friends about three months before the wedding. You should aim to have the bones of your speech down at least six weeks before the wedding so that you can edit and refine it.
Give yourself plenty of time to be creative. Spend some unrushed time thinking about your relationship to the couple and what you'd like to say. Write, edit, and peer review with a trusted friend. You can also reach out to the married couple to ask them questions about their relationship and significant moments in their relationship. Ask them for boundaries on what they are comfortable with you sharing and any sensitive material they want you to avoid.
Practice your speech out loud and time yourself. You want to aim for a length of between 2-5 minutes. This will be enough time to say what you need to say, but short enough that you'll still have everyone's attention. Make sure you practice enough that you can remember the key points you want to make and the order in which you want to make them. That way, you can look out at the crowd and make eye contact every so often.
If you are really struggling, a professional speechwriter will help you gather your thoughts and anecdotes and put them into a coherent structure.
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Frequently asked questions
A wedding reception speech should be between 2 and 5 minutes. This is enough time to say what you need to say and keep the attention of the guests.
Give yourself plenty of time to be creative. Think about your relationship with the couple, what you'd like to say, and what stories you want to tell. If you're unsure, stick to the basics: how you met, what you love about them, and how you've seen their lives change for the better since getting together.
Practice your speech and prepare in advance. Focus on the message you want to convey and don't try to memorise every word. Incorporating unique elements, such as quotes, shared memories, or future aspirations, can make your speech unforgettable.
Don't wing it and don't have too many drinks before your speech. Avoid inside jokes, cliches, and swear words. Be mindful of the family dynamics and choose stories that will resonate with the whole room.
