Deborah Chan
Wedding cakes have been a tradition since ancient Rome, when a groom would break a loaf of barley bread over his new wife's head. Thankfully, this custom has evolved, and today's couples have the freedom to choose the dessert of their choice. While the cake itself is important, the way a couple cuts their wedding cake can also be telling of their future together. Wedding photographers and videographers have observed that couples who smash cake into each other's faces tend to break up soon after the wedding, whereas those who respectfully feed each other cake are more likely to stand the test of time. Aside from the cake-cutting tradition, other factors that can indicate the longevity of a marriage include how a couple speaks to each other, the reactions of their friends, their ability to handle chaos, and their level of patience and respect for one another.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| How they speak to each other | Couples who use respectful language and tones with each other are more likely to last |
| The way their friends react | If friends express negative opinions or secrets, the marriage may be in trouble |
| How the couple deals with chaos | Couples who work well under pressure are more likely to last |
| How they react during the 'first look' | Couples who seem genuinely enthralled by each other during their "first look" are more likely to last |
| The amount of patience they have with each other | Couples who respect and care for each other, and help calm each other's nerves, are more likely to last |
| How much time they spend together on the day | Couples who spend the majority of their wedding day together are more likely to last |
| How the couple makes the hired help feel | Couples who treat hired help with kindness and respect are more likely to last |
| Cake smashing | Couples who smash cake in each other's faces are more likely to break up soon after the wedding |
What You'll Learn
Cake smashing: a sign of respect or a recipe for divorce?
The tradition of cake smashing has been around for several decades, and while some view it as a light-hearted and humorous addition to the wedding day, others believe it is a mean-spirited act that dooms the couple to divorce. So, is it a sign of respect or a recipe for disaster?
The Pros of Cake Smashing
For some couples, cake smashing is a fun and exciting way to add an element of surprise and humour to their wedding day. It can be a light-hearted moment that brings the couple closer together and creates lasting memories, especially if they are both willing participants.
The Cons of Cake Smashing
However, there are also several potential downsides to cake smashing. Some people view it as a disrespectful act that shows a lack of respect for one another. It can also be a waste of delicious and expensive cake, not to mention the potential for ruining the couple's wedding attire.
The Unexpected Cake Smash
It is worth noting that it is usually the unexpected cake smash that leads to negative consequences. If one partner smashes cake into the other's face without warning or consent, it can upset the other person and derail their special day. This can be a sign of an unbalanced relationship and a lack of respect for each other's boundaries and wishes.
The Importance of Communication
The key to avoiding potential issues seems to lie in communication between the couple. Discussing their preferences and boundaries beforehand and respecting each other's wishes is essential. If one partner is not comfortable with cake smashing, the other should respect that and refrain from doing it.
The Predictors of a Lasting Marriage
While cake smashing may be one factor that wedding industry professionals consider when predicting the longevity of a marriage, there are also other key indicators. These include how the couple speaks to and treats each other, their ability to work together under pressure, the amount of patience they have for each other, and how much quality time they spend together on their wedding day.
So, is cake smashing a sign of respect or a recipe for divorce? The answer may lie in the couple's communication and mutual respect for each other's boundaries. If both partners are willing participants who find it fun and light-hearted, it can be a positive addition to their wedding day. However, if it is done without consent or as a surprise, it can upset the balance of the relationship and lead to negative consequences.
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The history of wedding cakes: from barley bread to multi-tiered cakes
The wedding cake has evolved from barley bread in Ancient Rome to the multi-tiered cakes popular today. In ancient Roman times, a wheat or barley cake was broken over the bride's head to bring good fortune and fertility to the couple. The bride and groom would then eat some crumbs together, uniting them as a married couple, before guests would collect the remaining crumbs for luck. When the Romans invaded Britain in 43 CE, the tradition continued, although the bread was thrown at the bride to encourage fertility.
By the medieval period, the barley bread had been replaced with spiced buns, cookies and scones, which were stacked as high as possible. The bride and groom would attempt to kiss over the top of the stack, and if they succeeded without knocking it over, this was said to bring good fortune. In the 17th century, the bride's pie (filled with meat, offal, and spices) was replaced by the bride's cake, which was a simpler, sweeter pastry. This was the precursor to the modern wedding cake.
In the 18th century, wedding cakes began to take on their tiered form, supposedly inspired by the tiered spire of St Bride's Church in London. The first completely edible wedding cake was made for the wedding of Prince Leopold, Duke of Albany, in 1882. The multitiered cake became a symbol of prosperity and a status symbol, as only wealthy families could afford them.
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The pros and cons of cake smashing
Pros
- It can be fun and create delightful and adorable memories.
- It can be a sensory experience for babies, allowing them to explore new textures and tastes.
- It can be a fun tradition for families to embrace the messiness of a child's first taste of a sugary birthday cake.
- It can be a unique photo opportunity, with professional photographers offering smash cake packages to capture these moments.
- It can be a way to celebrate a baby's first birthday and create lasting memories.
Cons
- It can be seen as a waste of food, time, and ingredients, especially if the cake is destroyed without being eaten.
- It can be messy and require a lot of clean-up, including a change of clothes and a large number of baby wipes.
- It can be expensive, with some people spending a significant amount of money on elaborate smash cakes.
- It can be forced or coerced, with some babies needing encouragement to participate.
- It can be unhealthy, introducing babies to refined sugar and processed food.
- It can be viewed as a contrived and commercialised trend that objectifies children and turns them into cute commodities for social media.
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How to choose a wedding cake baker
While choosing a wedding cake baker, it's important to remember that finding the perfect one isn't just about sampling fondant and cake flavours. It's crucial to do your research and ensure that the bakery can bring your dream wedding cake to life. Here are some tips to help you choose a wedding cake baker:
Start with Research
First, narrow down your options by conducting online research. Read reviews of wedding cake vendors to identify the best-rated bakers in your area. Ask friends, recent brides, and your caterer for recommendations. Attend local bridal expos and visit nearby bakeries that display wedding cakes. Select 3-5 cake bakers that you want to contact and get in touch with them to get answers to some initial questions.
Ask Questions
Get your questions answered via email or phone before deciding on a cake baker. Ask about their availability on your wedding date, pricing, and whether they can custom design the cake as per your vision. Inquire about their portfolio, references, delivery and storage methods, licensing, insurance, and contingency plans.
Meet in Person
Once you've identified a potential match, schedule an in-person consultation to discuss your cake vision in detail. Bring inspiration photos, as well as pictures of your dress, bridesmaids' dresses, and any other elements of your wedding's colour palette, such as flowers or linens. Leave the consultation with a clear understanding of what the baker can offer and if they align with your expectations.
Cake Tasting
The fun part is, of course, the cake tasting! Most bakeries offer this service for wedding clients. Remember to confirm if the tasting is complimentary and how many people can participate. During the tasting, sample different flavours and icings to ensure your cake is not only beautiful but also delicious.
Finalise the Details
After you've found your ideal cake baker, ensure you put everything in writing. A signed contract should outline the specifics of the cake, including size, flavours, special instructions, pricing, and delivery details. Reputable cake bakers will typically require a deposit to secure your wedding date and cake.
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The importance of the couple's first look
The first look is an important part of a couple's wedding day and can be a good indicator of the strength of their relationship. It is one of the most intimate moments of their big day, and the reaction of the couple during this time can be revealing.
A hired bridesmaid who has worked at hundreds of weddings shared that she gets two types of gut reactions when a couple sees each other for the first time. The first is when she feels fireworks in her stomach, which makes her cry tears of joy. The other feels like heartburn, and makes her cringe. In her experience, the couples who don't look genuinely enthralled by one another are the ones whose relationships are more likely to end in separation.
The wedding cake moment, which comes later, can also be revealing. As a pastor who regularly performs weddings shared, "The cake comes at the end of a long experience so any pretending which has been taking place is less likely to occur as time goes on. The moment requires the couple to do something which is not a normal activity." The cake-cutting ceremony is the first official activity the newlyweds do together as a couple.
A playful and gentle cake exchange is a good sign. It shows the couple is committed to creating a sweet life together and is a symbol of a healthy marriage. On the other hand, a forceful cake smash can indicate a lack of respect and a relationship that may be doomed to fail.
While these are not definitive indicators of a relationship's future, they can provide a glimpse into the dynamics of the couple and their likelihood of lasting.
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