Assert Your Wedding Vision: Tips For Standing Your Ground

Planning a wedding can be stressful, but staying true to yourself and your partner throughout the process will ensure your special day is authentic and meaningful. From managing a budget to navigating family expectations, it's important to stand your ground and make decisions that reflect your unique relationship. Whether you're opting for a traditional or non-traditional wedding, there are many ways to make the planning process smoother while still ensuring your day is memorable and enjoyable for you and your guests.

Be authentic and creative

When it comes to planning a wedding, it's important to be authentic and creative. This is, after all, likely the largest event you've ever had a role in organizing, so it's a good idea to start by focusing on what you want your wedding to feel like, rather than what you want it to look like.

First, think about what you and your partner want. Do you want to have an amazing day with your nearest and dearest? Or do you want to give everyone a break from life by planning a destination wedding? Do you want to publicly declare your love to those that mean the most to you? Or do you want to focus on the celebration? It's a good idea to sit down with your partner and have a conversation about what the intention and purpose of your wedding is.

Next, consider the guest list. Creating a guest list can be tough, especially if you want to keep things small and intimate. Make sure you're happy with every single person on your list. If you have guests attending from out of town, it is thoughtful to book group transportation to take them between the ceremony, reception, and their hotels.

Then, think about the music. You may want to give the DJ or band a list of songs to play and not to play well in advance. If you want to do something special for your guests, you can also ask them to give one song each that they want to hear beforehand.

Finally, don't forget to plan with intention and purpose. This will help you create the most authentic experience for you and your guests.

Plan for the unexpected

Planning for the unexpected is a crucial aspect of wedding preparations. While it may seem daunting to anticipate the unforeseen, there are several strategies to minimise potential disruptions and ensure a smooth and memorable celebration. Here are some instructive guidelines to help you navigate the unexpected during your wedding planning journey:

Firstly, acknowledge the possibility of unforeseen events. Accepting that unexpected situations can arise is the first step towards effective planning. From last-minute changes to unpredictable weather, recognising these possibilities empowers you to proactively address them.

Secondly, allocate a contingency budget. It is prudent to allocate a buffer within your wedding budget to accommodate unexpected costs. A common recommendation is to set aside at least a 5% buffer to cover unforeseen expenses, such as last-minute changes, inclement weather-related costs, or vendor surcharges. This buffer can provide peace of mind and financial flexibility when navigating unexpected situations.

Thirdly, select experienced vendors. Engaging reputable vendors with extensive experience in handling unforeseen circumstances can be invaluable. Their expertise and problem-solving skills can make all the difference when faced with unexpected challenges. Communicate your vision and expectations clearly, and seek their honest advice. Their insights and ability to adapt to changing situations will contribute to a more seamless experience.

Additionally, anticipate potential problems and devise contingency plans. Take time to consider what could go wrong and develop backup strategies. For instance, if you're planning an outdoor wedding, have a rain plan in place. Consider renting a tent or identifying an indoor alternative in case of unfavourable weather. Think through various scenarios, such as traffic delays, accidents, or illness, and outline potential solutions to minimise their impact on your special day.

Furthermore, stay informed and adaptable. Utilise tools like weather apps to monitor conditions leading up to your wedding day. If unfavourable conditions are predicted, don't hesitate to act promptly. The more time you allow for preparations, the smoother the transition to your backup plan will be. Remember, adaptability is key when navigating the unexpected.

Lastly, seek support and delegate tasks. Wedding planning can be overwhelming, and unexpected challenges can add to the stress. Consider enlisting the help of a wedding planner or coordinator, who can provide valuable guidance and handle logistics. Lean on your support system, including friends and family, to share ideas and tackle tasks together. Their involvement can make the planning process more manageable and enjoyable.

Remember, while it's important to be prepared, don't let the anticipation of the unexpected overshadow the joy of your wedding planning journey. Embrace flexibility, remain calm, and trust that, with the right strategies in place, you can handle whatever comes your way.

Manage your budget

Setting a wedding budget can be overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be stressful. The first step is to decide who will be paying for the wedding. The traditional expectation that the bride's parents should cover the bill is no longer the norm. If family members will be contributing, discuss how much they are comfortable spending and whether they have any expectations about how the money should be spent. For example, your uncle may want to pay for flowers, while your grandparents may be happy to contribute a lump sum with no strings attached.

Once you know how much you have to work with, it's time to start allocating funds. The venue will typically be the largest expense, followed by rentals (tables, chairs, dishes, silverware, glasses), catering (food, cocktail hour, service costs), and bartending (service, alcohol, custom cocktails). Don't forget to include wedding rings in your budget, as well as hair and makeup, accessories, and attire. If you plan to have attendants, you may also want to cover the cost of their hair and makeup.

It's important to give yourself some wiggle room in your budget for unexpected costs, must-have upgrades, or last-minute changes. For example, if you're planning a destination wedding, you'll need to factor in the cost of planning trips, including plane tickets, hotel rooms, and transportation. Taxes and tips are often forgotten expenses, so be sure to pay attention to whether they are included in vendor contracts. You may also want to stretch your budget for certain items, like a DJ or videographer, or to accommodate your parents' request for an open bar.

Finally, consider whether you want to hire a wedding planner. While this will add to the cost, a good planner can save you money in the long run by leveraging their relationships with vendors to get you the best price. They can also help you avoid overspending on unnecessary items and ensure your day goes off without a hitch. The average cost of a wedding planner is $2,100, but high-end planners can cost significantly more.

Collaborate with your partner and vendors

Planning a wedding can be a daunting task, but it can also be a rewarding and enjoyable experience if you collaborate effectively with your partner and vendors. Here are some tips to help you navigate the process and ensure your special day is everything you've ever dreamed of:

Define Your Vision and Budget

Before reaching out to vendors, it's crucial to sync up with your partner and define your shared vision for the wedding. Discuss your must-haves, nice-to-haves, and deal-breakers. Be open and honest about your preferences, and remember that this day is about both of you. Once you have a clear idea of your dream wedding, create a realistic budget that you're both comfortable with. This budget will guide your decision-making throughout the planning process.

Embrace the Power of Preferred Vendor Lists

To simplify the vendor selection process, take advantage of preferred vendor lists provided by wedding venues and planners. These lists feature professionals who have established partnerships with the venue or planner and are recommended for their reliability, professionalism, and quality of service. By choosing vendors from these lists, you can rest assured that they are familiar with the venue's layout, policies, and logistics, reducing the chances of miscommunication and unexpected surprises.

Cultivate Relationships with Vendors

When reaching out to vendors, adopt a collaborative mindset. Remember, your goal is not just to book their services but to build relationships. Ask yourself how you can serve them and add value to their business. This approach will not only make you stand out but also foster goodwill and a more personalised experience. Attend styled shoots or networking events to connect with vendors, or simply send an email to introduce yourself and express your interest in working together.

Brainstorm and Customise

Once you've established connections with vendors, embrace the collaborative process. Share your vision, preferences, and style with them, and invite them to brainstorm creative ideas. For example, a wedding planner might suggest a floral designer who can create arrangements that beautifully complement the venue. This synergy among vendors will result in a cohesive and unique celebration tailored to your tastes.

Stay Organised and Adaptable

As you work with your partner and vendors, stay organised by keeping track of contracts, policies, and any changes in scope of service. Carefully review the fine print to avoid unexpected costs or misunderstandings. Additionally, be prepared to adapt to unforeseen circumstances. For instance, if you're planning an outdoor wedding, have a backup plan for unexpected weather changes. Flexibility and quick decision-making will help you navigate any last-minute challenges gracefully.

Remember, effective collaboration with your partner and vendors is key to standing your ground during wedding planning. By defining your vision, utilising preferred vendor lists, cultivating relationships, staying organised, and embracing adaptability, you'll create a memorable day that truly reflects who you are as a couple.

Delegate tasks

Planning a wedding can be a stressful and time-consuming process. It is important to remember that you don't have to do everything alone. Friends and family members will want to help, so don't be afraid to ask for assistance.

One way to delegate tasks is to use a project management platform to assign tasks and deadlines, and to collaborate with your partner and bridal party. You can also simply ask friends and family members in person or over the phone.

There are many tasks that can be delegated to others. For example, you could ask a friend or family member to research and coordinate transportation for guests, including shuttles, vintage cars, or taxis. If you're planning a multi-day celebration with multiple events, you could delegate the planning of guest activities to a trusted friend or family member who knows the local area well. They can research and make reservations for activities such as a welcome happy hour or a morning-after brunch.

If you have access to your venue the day before the wedding, you can rally some friends to help set up the reception tables, chairs, and decor. You can also ask a friend to curate a wedding playlist by sending out song suggestions via your RSVPs or wedding website. Another idea is to delegate the task of planning pre-wedding events such as the bachelor/bachelorette party or an engagement party to a close friend or family member.

Remember to communicate instructions and timelines clearly to those who are helping you, and show your gratitude with a thank-you note, gift, or shout-out in your wedding speech.

Frequently asked questions