Etiquette For Sending Reception-Only Wedding Invites

Wedding invitation etiquette is an important aspect of wedding planning. While it is generally considered acceptable to have a small, intimate ceremony followed by a larger reception, it is trickier to invite guests to the ceremony but not the reception. This is because standard etiquette dictates that everyone who attends the ceremony should also be invited to the reception.

However, there are ways to navigate this situation, such as by creating two separate guest lists and sending two differently worded invitations. This article will provide tips and advice on how to send wedding invitations for the reception only, ensuring that your guests know what to expect and avoiding any confusion or offence.

Create two guest lists: one for the ceremony and reception, and one for the reception only

Creating two guest lists is a crucial step when planning a wedding with a reception-only portion. Here's a detailed guide to help you navigate this process:

Step 1: Understand the Purpose

The main idea behind creating two separate guest lists is to accommodate a smaller, more intimate ceremony while still allowing for a larger celebration during the reception. This approach ensures that your special day aligns with your unique requirements and preferences.

Step 2: Define the Guest Lists

The first guest list, labelled as the "A-list" or "non-negotiables", includes those closest to you and your partner, such as immediate family members and very close friends. These are the people you simply couldn't imagine getting married without by your side. The second guest list is for those invited only to the reception, allowing you to expand your celebration to include a broader circle of friends, extended family, and colleagues.

Step 3: Finalise the Ceremony Guest List

When finalising the guest list for the ceremony, consider the venue's capacity and your budget constraints. The ceremony could be held in a church, at the reception venue, or even at a city hall with just the required witnesses present. Remember, it's your day, so don't feel obligated to invite anyone out of guilt or pressure.

Step 4: Expand for the Reception

For the reception guest list, you can be more liberal with your invitations. Consider inviting extended family members, friends you haven't seen in a while, colleagues, and their partners or plus-ones. If children are allowed at your reception, be sure to include them on this list as well.

Step 5: Manage Expectations

When creating two guest lists, it's essential to manage expectations. Be transparent with those who are only invited to the reception, especially if they are close to you. Explain your reasons for an intimate ceremony kindly and honestly. Most people will understand your decision, especially if you express your excitement about celebrating with them at the reception.

Step 6: Stay Organised

Use spreadsheets or guest list managers to keep track of your guest lists. Separate columns for guests, plus-ones, and dietary requirements will help you stay organised. This will also be useful when it comes to sending out invitations and managing RSVPs.

Creating two guest lists ensures that your wedding day honours your personal preferences while still allowing you to celebrate with a broader circle of loved ones.

Be clear and stick to your guns when guests try to pressure you into inviting them to the ceremony

It is completely normal for some guests to try to pressure you into inviting them to the ceremony as well. However, it is important to remember that you are not at fault for their behaviour – they are responsible for their actions. Here are some tips to help you navigate this tricky situation:

• Be clear and stick to your guns: It's important to stay firm and not go back on your original decision. You might feel uncomfortable having to say no, but it's important to set boundaries and remember that you are not obligated to invite everyone to the ceremony.
• Be honest and kind: Explain your decision honestly and kindly. For example, you could say something like, "We are delighted to have you at our reception, and we hope you understand that we are keeping the ceremony small and intimate due to financial constraints."
• Manage their expectations: Make sure your invitations clearly state that the invite is for the reception only. This will help to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings on the day.
• Create two separate guest lists: Keep track of who is invited to the ceremony and reception, and who is only invited to the reception. This will help you stay organised and ensure that you don't accidentally share ceremony details with the wrong guests.
• Offer an alternative: If you feel comfortable doing so, you could suggest another way for them to be involved, such as helping with the planning or offering to include them in other wedding-related activities.
• Don't be afraid to say no: Remember, it's your wedding, and you are allowed to set boundaries. If you don't want to invite certain people to the ceremony, that's your decision. You don't have to justify it to anyone.

Send invites six to eight weeks before the wedding

Sending out your wedding invites is one of the most exciting parts of the planning process. It's also one of the most important! You want to give your guests enough time to plan and make travel arrangements, but not so much time that they forget about your big day. So, when is the best time to send out invites for a wedding reception?

The general consensus is that wedding invitations should be sent out around six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives your guests plenty of time to clear their schedules, make travel arrangements if necessary, and RSVP. It also means you'll get your RSVPs back sooner, so you can finalise your seating plan and make any necessary adjustments to your guest list.

If your wedding is around a major holiday, such as Christmas, it's a good idea to give your guests a little more notice. The same goes if a large percentage of your guest list is international or if you're planning a destination wedding. In these cases, it's best to send out invites around 12 weeks before the wedding.

For those with a shorter engagement, it's recommended to send out invites two to three months before the wedding.

What to Include in the Invitations

If you're only inviting certain guests to the reception, it's important to be clear about this in the invitations. You don't want your guests to be confused or offended. The best way to do this is to create two separate guest lists: one for those invited to the ceremony and reception, and one for those only invited to the reception.

You can then create two different invitations or include an extra ceremony card in the suites of those invited to the ceremony. This card can include a personal note explaining that you would love to have them celebrate with you at the reception, even if they can't be there for the ceremony.

Wording the Invitations

It's important to be clear in your invitations that the guests are only being invited to the reception. Here are some examples of wording for reception-only invitations:

• " [Names of the couple] request the pleasure of your company for a reception in celebration of their new marriage."
• "The newlyweds [Names of the couple] invite you to a reception in honour of their recent marriage."
• " [Names of the couple] invite you to join us at our reception celebrating our recent marriage."

Include an insert card with ceremony details for those invited to the ceremony

If you're inviting guests to a small, intimate ceremony, you'll need to provide them with the details of the ceremony as well as the reception. One way to do this is to include an insert card with the ceremony details. This can be included in the invitation suite, along with the main invitation card.

The insert card should include all the essential information about the ceremony, such as the date, time, and location. It can also include any other relevant details, such as parking information or directions, especially if the ceremony and reception are held at different venues.

To keep costs down, you could include the reception information on the main invitation and then have a separate insert card with the ceremony details. This way, you only need to print one type of main invitation for all your guests, and the insert card can be added for those who are also invited to the ceremony.

The insert card can be designed to match the style and aesthetic of the main invitation, creating a cohesive suite. It's a good idea to keep the wording clear and concise, providing all the necessary information without overwhelming your guests.

> Ceremony Details

>

> Date: [Date of ceremony]

> Time: [Time of ceremony]

> Location: [Address of ceremony venue]

>

> Additional Information:

> - Parking: [Parking information]

> - Directions: [Directions to the venue, or a map]

> - Attire: [Any specific dress code or attire requests]

> - RSVP by: [RSVP date for the ceremony]

Remember to proofread the insert card carefully to ensure all the information is correct and clearly communicated. This will help your guests arrive at the right place at the right time, ready to celebrate with you!

Hand-deliver invitations to show excitement and ensure they are received

Hand-delivering wedding invitations is a great way to add a personal touch to your wedding invites and save on postage costs. However, it's important to follow proper etiquette to ensure you're respecting your guests' time and privacy. Here are some tips for hand-delivering wedding invitations:

Firstly, it's important to meet the recipient face-to-face and hand over the invitation personally. Avoid leaving it in a mailbox or on a desk when they're not around. If you're delivering to a couple, you can give the invitation to just one person. Try to find a moment when the recipient is alone, as delivering the invitation in front of someone who isn't invited can be awkward for them. Be mindful of the timing and avoid delivering the invitation during a special event, such as a birthday party or baby shower, as you don't want to overshadow the recipient's special moment.

When hand-delivering, ensure that each invitation includes a self-addressed and stamped RSVP card. This makes it convenient for the recipient to respond, and you're not putting them in an uncomfortable position of having to respond in person. It's also a good idea to create two separate guest lists: one for those invited to both the wedding ceremony and reception, and another for those only invited to the reception. This will help you keep track of who is attending each part of your special day.

If you're planning to have both the ceremony and the reception on the same day, consider scheduling the ceremony earlier to allow for plenty of time to celebrate with your intimate group before heading to the reception. It's also a good idea to plan the reception timeline so that you and your ceremony guests arrive at the same time as the other guests, allowing the celebration to begin promptly.

Remember, it's perfectly acceptable to hand-deliver invitations, especially to those you see often. Don't worry about it coming across as tacky or cheap. Many couples choose to hand-deliver invitations to save on postage and add a personal touch.

Frequently asked questions