Rsvp Etiquette: Responding To Wedding Invitations

Wedding invitation etiquette is a crucial aspect of wedding planning. It is essential to get the timing right when sending out invitations and providing an RSVP deadline. Couples should also ensure that their invitations include all the necessary information, such as the date, time, location, and dress code. When responding to an invitation, it is important to follow the couple's instructions and provide all the requested information, including the number of guests attending and meal preferences. While it is generally expected that guests will RSVP, there may be cultural or socioeconomic differences that influence this. Ultimately, it is considerate to respond to an invitation as soon as possible, whether accepting or declining, to ensure the couple can finalise their arrangements.

RSVP cards: Include a card with the invitation for guests to fill out and return

RSVP cards are a useful, though optional, addition to your wedding invitation suite. Including an RSVP card with your invitation is a great way to prompt guests to respond in a timely manner, helping you to organise the seating chart, menu and even music playlist.

Here's everything you need to include on your RSVP cards:

• A clear RSVP deadline: It is recommended to pick a date at least a few weeks before you need the final headcount for your venue and caterer. You could say something like "Your reply is requested by 31st March" or "Kindly RSVP by Friday 31st March".
• A blank line for guests' names: You’ll also need to leave a blank line for your guest(s) to write their name, along with the name of their plus one (if you’re offering one). The line for the guest’s name on an RSVP card often has an ‘M’ at the start – this is traditional and is supposed to act as the first letter of ‘Mr’, ‘Mrs’ or ‘Miss’, though it’s optional.
• "Accept" and "Decline" checkboxes: Each guest will need to be able to indicate whether or not they can make it. Usually, this comes in the form of a checkbox next to each option. Formal and traditional wordings include "Joyfully accepts / Regretfully declines" or "Accepts with delight / Declines with apologies".
• Number of guests attending: Include a way for your guests to indicate the number of people attending. This is especially important if you’ve invited multiple people with one invitation (e.g. families and couples) as you’ll need to know how many can (and can’t) make it, and any guests that will be bringing plus ones.
• Food choices: If you are giving your guests a choice of food options, include them on the RSVP card. Next to each choice, include a blank line or an empty box, and request that your guests select their preferred option.
• Dietary requirements: Include a blank line for your guests to fill in any dietary requirements.
• Space for a song request: A fun way to get your guests to fill in your RSVP is to include space for a song request.
• Stamped, addressed envelopes: Include a stamped, addressed envelope with all of your RSVP cards. This makes it easier for your guests to return their card and means they won't have to pay for postage.

Timing: Send invites 6-8 weeks before the wedding, with RSVPs due 2-3 weeks before

When it comes to wedding invitations, timing is crucial. Send your invites out too early, and your guests might forget about your big day by the time it rolls around. Send them out too late, and your guests might not have enough time to clear their schedules or make travel arrangements. So, when is the right time to send out your wedding invitations?

Sending Out the Invites

The general rule of thumb is to send out your wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives your guests enough time to plan, without being too far in advance. If you're having a destination wedding, it's a good idea to give your guests a little more time and send out invites 12 weeks in advance.

Setting the RSVP Deadline

When it comes to RSVPs, you'll want to set a deadline that gives you enough time to finalise all the details for your big day. Aim for a deadline of two to three weeks before the wedding. This will give you time to confirm numbers with your vendors, finalise your seating chart, and make any last-minute adjustments.

To ensure you get your RSVPs back on time, make it easy for your guests. Include a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope with your invitations. You can also offer a digital RSVP option through your wedding website.

Remember, sending out your invites and setting an RSVP deadline is just the first step in the wedding planning process. You'll also need to keep track of responses, follow up with guests who haven't responded, and be prepared to make adjustments as needed.

Online RSVPs: Provide a wedding website for guests to respond digitally

Online RSVPs are a convenient way for guests to respond to your wedding invitation. Here are some tips for creating a wedding website for online RSVPs:

Choose a Website Builder:

Select a user-friendly website builder that offers creative freedom, such as Wix, Squarespace, or The Knot. These platforms provide various templates and features to create a unique and informative website.

Pick a Domain Name:

Opt for a custom domain name that is short, memorable, and easy to recall. Combine your first names and add ".com" at the end, or use a domain name generator for inspiration.

Personalize the Website:

Customise the look of your website to match your wedding style. Add your wedding details, including the date, time, location, dress code, and any other relevant information. Include engagement photos, your love story, and an FAQ section to answer common questions.

Create an RSVP Form:

This is a crucial part of your wedding website. Ensure the form collects basic information such as names, attendance confirmation, meal preferences, and any additional requests or notes for the couple.

Share the Website:

Include the URL or a bespoke QR code on your wedding invitations. You can also share the website link on social media or via email to your guests.

Keep it Private:

Consider password-protecting your website or blocking it from appearing in search engine results to ensure only invited guests have access.

Test and Review:

Before sharing, proofread all the text, check for functionality, and ensure your website loads quickly. Optimise it for mobile devices, as many guests will likely access it on their phones.

By following these steps, you can create a user-friendly and informative wedding website that makes it easy for your guests to RSVP online.

No-shows: If unable to attend, respond with a No and send a gift from the registry

When it comes to RSVPs, it's important to respond as soon as possible. If you're unable to attend, it's still important to let the couple know by declining their invitation formally. This is usually done via the host's preferred method, be it an online form, a response card, or email.

If you can't make the wedding, it's considered good etiquette to send a gift from their registry. This is because you want to show your support for the couple and gratitude for being invited. It's also a nice way to soften the blow of not being able to attend. If you are close to the couple, you might also want to give them a call to explain your absence and express your disappointment at not being able to be there.

It's important to respond even if you can't attend so that the couple can finalise their table plan and confirm the number of meals they need with their caterer. Couples usually need to give a final guest count to the caterer about a week before the wedding, so it's important to let them know as soon as possible if you can't make it.

If you've responded 'yes' to a wedding invitation but then realise you can't attend, it's important to let the couple know as soon as you can. This is because an accurate headcount is needed for wedding rentals, food and beverage. It's best to call the couple and let them know, and if it's last minute, you can let someone close to the bride or groom know instead, such as a member of the wedding party or the wedding planner.

Plus-ones: Be clear about the number of guests invited to avoid confusion

When it comes to RSVPs, it's important to be clear about the number of guests invited to avoid confusion. This means specifying the number of seats reserved and the names of those invited. Here are some tips to ensure your guests have all the information they need:

• Address the invitation to those invited by name. For example, "Mr and Mrs Smith" or "Mr Smith and Guest". This makes it clear who is invited and avoids any ambiguity.
• On the RSVP card, include a line such as, "We have reserved __ seats in your honour." You fill in the number of seats, not the names of the guests. This gives your invitees a better idea of how many people are invited.
• If you are inviting a family, address the envelope to "The Smith Family" and specify the number of seats on the RSVP card. For example, "5 seats have been reserved in your honour."
• If a family member has a plus one, you can address the envelope to "The Smith Family and John Doe" to indicate that the additional seat is for their guest.
• Request that your guests provide the names of those attending. This is especially helpful if you are creating a seating chart and want to know the names of any plus ones.
• Number the RSVP cards on the back, as some guests may forget to write their names when responding. This way, you can easily follow up with them if needed.
• If you are inviting guests to the ceremony only and not the reception, be clear about this on the invitation. Standard etiquette dictates that everyone who attends the ceremony should be invited to the reception, so it's important to communicate this clearly to avoid any confusion or misunderstanding.
• If you are not providing a plus one for every guest, it's perfectly acceptable to extend a solo invite. Most guests will understand that if there is no "and guest" or another name on the invitation, they are not invited with a plus one.
• If a guest RSVPs for two when you have only invited them for one, call them and politely explain that you are trying to be diligent about your guest list and are unable to accommodate additional guests.

Remember, it's important to provide clear and specific information on your invitations and RSVP cards to avoid any confusion and ensure a smooth planning process for your big day!

Frequently asked questions