Lyla Dejesus
Planning a wedding is no easy feat, and creating the guest list can be a tricky task. While you may want to invite everyone you know and love, it's not always practical or feasible. Many couples choose to host a child-free wedding for various reasons, such as budget constraints, venue capacity limits, or simply wanting to encourage guests to let loose on the dance floor without worrying about their children. Communicating this preference to your guests can be challenging, but it's important to be direct, sensitive, and considerate in your approach. Whether you choose to address it on your wedding website, through word of mouth, or on the invitations themselves, here are some ways to politely let your guests know that your wedding is an adult-only affair.
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What You'll Learn
Be direct and clear
Being direct and clear is a valid approach to informing your guests that your wedding will be a child-free event. While it is a controversial topic, it is your wedding, and you are entitled to make this decision.
The best way to be direct and clear is to inform your guests from the outset. Address the invites only to the parents, and on the RSVP cards, put "We have reserved [number] seats in your honour". This is a polite way to indicate that children are not included in the invitation. You could also include a blurb on the wedding invitation, such as "Adult-only event" or "Adults-only ceremony and reception". This is a direct and clear way to inform your guests of your wishes.
You could also include a note on the RSVP cards that says, "While we love your beautiful children, the venue isn't catered towards them and won't have babysitting facilities. I understand some of you may not have a choice but to bring your child, in which case please inform us beforehand." This is a polite way to be direct and clear, while also showing understanding that some guests may not be able to attend without their children.
If you are inviting some children, it is important to make this clear on the invitation to avoid confusion and hurt feelings. You could say, "This is an adult-only celebration, with the exception of children specifically named on the invitation."
Finally, be prepared for some guests to decline, or even be upset by your decision. You may also need to be firm but compassionate if a guest asks to bring their child. You could say, "In this particular instance, you would not be able to bring little Ada as we are requesting an adult-only occasion."
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Address invites to parents only
If you want to address invites to parents only, there are a few ways to go about it. Firstly, it's important to be clear and direct about your no-kids policy from the start. This gives parents enough time to plan and book childcare. You can be diplomatic and blame it on budget or venue constraints, or simply state that it's a personal choice.
- "Bride and Groom (together with Bride's Parents) invite you to celebrate their marriage."
- "Bride and Groom (together with their families) request the honour of your presence at their wedding."
- "While children are a blessing, we respectfully ask that our celebration remain adults-only."
- "Due to venue restrictions, we cannot accommodate children. Our venue does not accommodate under 18s, so we are unable to invite children."
- "We will not be able to invite children to our wedding, but we hope you can still attend."
Remember, it's your wedding day, and you get to decide who's invited. Be sensitive to upset parents, but don't back down from your decision.
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Explain venue/budget constraints
When it comes to explaining venue and budget constraints to your wedding guests, it's important to be clear, sensitive, and thoughtful. Here are some suggestions for wording:
Venue Constraints
- "Our venue has a strict no-under-18s policy, so we are unable to welcome children to the wedding."
- "Unfortunately, as much as we'd love to invite all of our friends' children, we can only accommodate a few close family children. We hope you will understand and still be able to join us."
- "Due to venue restrictions, we cannot accommodate children. Our venue does not accommodate under-18s, so we are unable to invite children."
- "Due to capacity limits at our ceremony and reception venues, the only children at our wedding will be those in the wedding party and immediate family."
- "Unfortunately, our venue is unable to accommodate guests under the age of 18. There will be babysitters available in a designated room on-site."
Budget Constraints
- "While we adore your children, our budget will only allow us to accommodate adult guests at our wedding."
- "We regret that due to cost restrictions, we are only able to invite guests aged 18 and older to our wedding."
- "As much as we would like for the children to attend, our budget only accommodates adult guests."
- "Due to budgetary constraints, we cannot afford to pay for 100 guests plus an additional 93 children. We have decided to make our reception an adult-only event."
- "We always love to see [child/children's names], but unfortunately, this event is limited by our budget. We still very much hope to see you there."
Combining Venue and Budget Constraints
- "Due to budget and space limitations, we are unable to accommodate children under the age of 16 at our wedding."
- "To allow all our guests to let their hair down and enjoy themselves, we've decided to make our wedding a child-free event."
- "We are unable to accommodate children beyond our page boys and flower girls due to both budget and venue constraints."
Remember, it's essential to communicate your decision clearly and early on. Be sensitive when dealing with upset parents, but don't back down from your decision. If your budget allows, consider offering a babysitter or a designated kids' room to help make it easier for parents to attend without their children.
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Offer a babysitter/crèche
Offering a babysitter or crèche at your wedding can be a thoughtful way to ensure your guests with children can attend and fully enjoy the festivities without worrying about their little ones. This can be especially helpful if your wedding is in a destination location or if your guests are travelling from out of town, as arranging childcare in another place may not be feasible for them.
There are several companies that offer babysitting services specifically for weddings, such as Destination Sitters, Wedding Sitter, and Babysitting Logistics. These companies provide experienced and qualified babysitters who come prepared with toys and age-appropriate activities to keep the children entertained and engaged during the wedding festivities. Some services even offer to create a custom plan for your wedding based on your venue and vision, so you can rest assured that the children will be well cared for while their parents celebrate your special day.
If you choose to offer a babysitter or crèche at your wedding, be sure to communicate this to your guests ahead of time. Include information about the childcare option on your wedding website and invitations, so parents can plan accordingly and take advantage of the service. It is also a good idea to provide details about the type of childcare that will be offered, such as whether it will be an off-site crèche or an on-site babysitter, so parents can make the best decision for their children.
While offering a babysitter or crèche is a wonderful amenity for your guests, it is important to remember that it is not a necessity. Some parents may prefer to make their own childcare arrangements, and that is perfectly fine. Ultimately, the decision to bring their children or not is up to each individual family, and you should respect their choices.
By offering a babysitter or crèche, you are providing a helpful option for your guests with children, allowing them to celebrate your special day with peace of mind, knowing that their little ones are safe, happy, and well cared for.
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Be sensitive but firm
Deciding not to invite children to your wedding is a valid choice, and there are ways to communicate this to your guests in a sensitive but firm manner.
Firstly, it is important to be direct and clear in your communication. This means avoiding vague language or personal feelings about children. Instead, use straightforward wording such as "adults-only" or "18+ only". You can also specify the ages of children who are not invited, such as "children under 16 will not be admitted". Being explicit leaves no room for interpretation and helps parents make the necessary arrangements.
Address the invitations only to the invited adults, and on the RSVP cards, indicate the number of seats reserved for them. You can also include a blurb or note on the invitation that politely but firmly states your request for an adult-only event. For example, "While children are a beautiful blessing, we respectfully ask that our celebration remain adults-only". You can also mention venue restrictions or budget limitations as a reason, such as "Due to venue restrictions, we cannot accommodate children".
If you are inviting children from specific families, it is essential to make that clear on the invitation to avoid confusion and hurt feelings. You can write something like, "This is an adult-only celebration, with the exception of children specifically named on the invitation."
Be prepared for some guests to decline or be unable to attend due to childcare issues. It is also important to be understanding and compassionate towards parents who may be disappointed or upset by your decision. Let parents know as soon as possible so they have time to consider their options and book childcare if needed.
Remember, it is your wedding day, and you get to decide who is invited. Stand firm in your decision while being sensitive to the needs and feelings of your guests.
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Frequently asked questions
It is essential to choose your words carefully. You could say something like, "While children are a blessing, we respectfully ask that our celebration remains adults-only." You could also blame it on budget and venue constraints.
It is best to let parents know about the adult-only policy as soon as possible. You can communicate this on your wedding website, the save-the-date, the invitation, and the RSVP cards.
You don't need to justify why some people can bring their kids and others can't. You could have a one-liner prepared like, "people involved in the wedding party have brought their kids out of necessity."
You can set an age limit that works for you. Some couples set the limit at 12+, 16+, or 18+.
You can consider hiring a babysitter or offering a creche if your budget allows. However, remember that it is your wedding day, and you get to decide who's invited.
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