Lyla Dejesus
Bridal showers are a special pre-wedding event, and the invitations are the first glimpse guests will have of the festivities to come. There are many details to consider when planning a bridal shower, and the invitation is the key to setting the tone for the event. While it is considered impolite to request specific gifts or cash on invitations, there are ways to indicate preferences without being rude. For example, if the couple has a honeymoon fund, you can include a link to their online registry or mention that they are so blessed to have everything for their home and monetary gifts for their honeymoon would be appreciated.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Invitation type | Paper invitations are recommended, but email invitations are acceptable for bridesmaids hosting a shower for close friends of the bride only. |
| Timing | Invitations should be mailed four to six weeks in advance, or two months in advance if the guest list includes out-of-towners. |
| Guest list | The host and guest(s) of honour decide who to invite, but it's considered proper etiquette for close relatives of the bride-to-be's spouse to attend. |
| Details | The invitation should include the guest of honour's name, date, time, location, and RSVP details. |
| Wording | It's considered impolite to request specific gifts or money on invitations. However, some suggest being direct and asking for "monetary gifts only" or contributions to a honeymoon fund. |
| Theme | Using the honeymoon destination as a theme is a creative way to suggest gifts that will be useful for the honeymoon. |
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What You'll Learn
Inviting out-of-town guests
When it comes to inviting out-of-town guests to a bridal shower, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to give these guests ample notice. Bridal shower invitations should typically be mailed four to six weeks in advance, but for out-of-town guests, it is considerate to send invitations at least two months ahead of time. This gives them enough time to organize travel and accommodations, decide on their outfits, and purchase gifts.
It is also worth noting that inviting out-of-town guests is entirely optional. Some people choose not to invite those who live far away to avoid making extra demands on their time and resources, especially if they are already travelling for the wedding. However, if there are out-of-town guests on your wedding guest list, it is common to invite them to the bridal shower as well. Ultimately, it is up to the host and guest(s) of honour to decide who to invite, but it is important to ensure that everyone invited to the bridal shower is also invited to the wedding.
If you do decide to invite out-of-town guests, it is a thoughtful gesture to include maps and information about special accommodations in the invitation. This can help them plan their trip more effectively. It is also a good idea to include the appropriate contact information in case they have questions or concerns. These questions should be directed to the host, rather than the guest of honour.
Additionally, it is worth considering ways to accommodate your out-of-town guests and make it easier for them to attend. For example, you could choose a local venue or provide transportation options. If they are unable to attend in person, you can offer alternatives such as video conferencing or live streaming the event so they can still feel included in the celebration.
Finally, it is important to remember that not all out-of-town guests may be able to attend, despite their best intentions. They may have scheduling conflicts or financial constraints that prevent their attendance. In such cases, it is considerate to follow up with a text, email, or phone call, letting them know that you understand if they cannot make it and that they are not obligated to attend.
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RSVP details
When it comes to the RSVP details of your bridal shower invitations, there are a few key elements to include. Firstly, it is essential to provide an RSVP deadline, which will help you plan the right amount of food and drinks for the event. Be sure to include the name of the person guests should contact, along with their phone number or email address. This will make it convenient for guests to confirm their attendance and ask any questions they may have.
While it is not mandatory, you may also want to include information about the host or hosts of the bridal shower. This way, guests will know who to thank after the event and can reach out to the hosts if needed. For instance, you could add a line like "Hosted by her loving bridesmaids" or mention the names of the hosts, such as "Hosted by Aunt Linda, Aunt Ronda, and Aunt Leslie."
If you're inviting out-of-town guests, it's considerate to send the invitations at least two months in advance. This will give them ample time to organise travel and accommodation arrangements, as well as plan their attendance. It's also a thoughtful gesture to include RSVP details that are easily accessible and convenient for your guests.
In terms of wording, you can be creative and use phrases like "Monetary gifts preferred" or "No boxed gifts, please". You could also mention a honeymoon fund and suggest that guests contribute to specific activities or dinners during the honeymoon. For example, "So blessed to have everything I need! But if you'd like to contribute to a wedding/honeymoon fund, it would mean the world."
Additionally, if you're looking for a more interactive approach, you can include blank advice cards or recipe cards with the invitations. Guests can fill these out and bring them to the shower, adding a unique and personalised touch to the festivities. Remember, the purpose of a bridal shower is to shower the bride with love and gifts, so feel free to include registry information or themes that align with the couple's interests and needs.
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Wording for monetary gifts
While asking for monetary gifts for a bridal shower or honeymoon may be considered improper or rude, it is becoming more common. Here are some ways to politely ask for money as a gift:
Be Upfront and Transparent
It is essential to be clear and direct about your wishes. You can gently guide your guests by explicitly asking for cash instead of gifts. For example, you can write a note on your invitations or wedding website stating your preference for monetary gifts.
"In Lieu of Gifts" Wording
A popular way to ask for honeymoon funds is to use "in lieu of gifts" wording. This phrase is neutral and can fit any casual or formal invitation style. Here's an example:
> "As we prepare to embark on our new journey together, your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift we could ask for. However, if you wish to contribute to our special day, we have created a honeymoon fund instead of registering for traditional gifts. Your donation will help create unforgettable memories that will last a lifetime. To contribute, please visit [insert link to your online honeymoon fund]."
Emphasise Experiences and Memories
You can frame the request by emphasising that you already have all the physical items you need and that you value experiences and memories more. For example:
> "Instead of gifts, we would appreciate contributions to our honeymoon fund. We already have all the physical items we need for our home, and we would much rather create lifelong memories. Please consider helping us celebrate our bond and experience the trip of a lifetime."
Suggesting Without "Demanding"
You can also take a more suggestive approach without directly asking for money. For instance:
> "So blessed to have everything I need! But if you would like to contribute to our honeymoon fund, it would mean the world."
> "If you were thinking of giving a gift, a gift of cash towards our honeymoon would be greatly appreciated and really make our day."
Word-of-Mouth and Wedding Website
If you feel uncomfortable putting it on the invitation, you can rely on word-of-mouth and have your bridal party and parents suggest monetary gifts. Additionally, you can include details about your honeymoon fund on your wedding website, treating it like a registry.
Remember, it's important to be sensitive and polite in your wording to avoid coming across as demanding or rude.
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Mailing paper invitations
When mailing paper invitations for a bridal shower, it is best to send them out a minimum of four to six weeks in advance. Be sure to include all the crucial details of the event so that guests know what to expect. This includes the date, time, and location, as well as the name of the guest of honour on the front. If it is a co-ed shower, include the bride's partner's name, but if it is a shower exclusively for the bride, do not mention the bride's partner.
The date, time, and location should be listed in easy-to-read fonts, and the full date should be spelled out (for example, "November 6, 2023," instead of "11-06-23"). Include the address to prevent guests from arriving at the wrong venue due to a GPS mistake. Don't forget to add RSVP details, including the date for RSVP, the name of the person to contact, and their phone number or email address. While not required, you may also include information about the host or hosts of the party.
If the couple has a wedding website, you can include this on a separate insert card with wording specific to registry wishes. You can also direct guests to the couple's website that has information on their honeymoon, or to a honeymoon registry. Alternatively, suggest that guests bring something useful for the honeymoon, such as sunscreen, towels, or beach toys, instead of listing the registry. You could also include blank advice or recipe cards with the invitations for guests to fill out and bring to the shower.
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Who to invite
When it comes to bridal shower guest lists, it's important to remember that the event is an intimate, celebratory gathering, and the guest list should reflect a sense of closeness to the bride. Traditionally, the guest list includes the bride's close female friends and family members, such as her bridesmaids, mother, sisters, and future in-laws. However, in recent times, bridal showers can also include close male friends or relatives if the bride wishes. The key is to invite people who are genuinely close to the bride and have a meaningful connection with her.
It is considered proper etiquette for close relatives of the bride-to-be's spouse to attend, such as their mother, sisters, grandmother, or other family members they are close with. If the bride's future mother-in-law is hosting, expect more in-laws to attend, like aunts and cousins. Ultimately, the host and the guest(s) of honour decide who to invite, but remember, everyone at the shower should also be invited to the wedding.
If you're hosting a bridal shower, it's a good idea to invite between 30 and 40 people, knowing that some may not be able to attend. If you're renting a venue, check its guest capacity, and if you're hosting at home, consider how many people you can comfortably accommodate. Don't forget to give guests enough notice, especially if they are out-of-towners, by sending invitations four to six weeks in advance, or even two months in advance for those travelling.
It is also important to note that bridal showers are usually smaller and more personal than weddings, so you don't need to invite everyone the bride knows. Focus on creating a well-rounded list that represents the bride's different social circles, such as family, childhood and college friends, and coworkers.
Finally, while it may seem obvious, do not invite anyone to the bridal shower who is not also invited to the wedding. This could be offensive and may come across as pandering for gifts.
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Frequently asked questions
It is considered impolite to ask for gifts or money on a bridal shower invitation. However, you can include a cute poem or rhyme to hint at what the couple would prefer. For example, "So blessed to have everything I need! But if you would like to contribute to a wedding/honeymoon fund, it would mean the world".
You could suggest gifts that the couple can use on their honeymoon. For example, if they are going to Hawaii, you could suggest gifts that are useful for a beach holiday, such as sunscreen, towels or beach toys. You could also ask for advice cards or recipe cards instead of gifts.
The guest of honour's name, date, time, location, RSVP details, and the name and contact information of the host.
