The Art Of Wedding Invites: Enclosing Etiquette

Wedding invitations are a crucial part of the wedding planning process. They set the tone for the event and ensure that guests have all the necessary information. While the process of assembling and sending invitations may seem daunting, it is relatively straightforward. This guide will cover everything from the etiquette of addressing envelopes to the step-by-step process of assembling and stuffing your invitations.

Inner and outer envelopes

The use of inner and outer envelopes for wedding invitations is a long-standing tradition. The outer envelope serves to protect the inner envelope from damage during mailing, ensuring that the recipient receives a clean and undamaged envelope. This tradition dates back to the days of horse-drawn carriages when mail would often arrive at its destination dirty and crumpled. While modern postal systems have improved, an extra layer of protection ensures your invitations arrive in pristine condition.

The outer envelope is addressed to the heads of the household in a formal manner, including titles such as "Mr." and "Mrs.". It contains all the information required by the postal service for delivery. The inner envelope, on the other hand, is more informal and lists the names of all invited guests, including children. This helps to clarify who is invited, especially when hosting an adults-only wedding.

The use of two envelopes is also a matter of tradition and formality. For a black-tie or classic wedding, double envelopes set the tone for a formal event. They allow for a more personalised touch, such as using nicknames or familial terms on the inner envelope.

However, the use of inner and outer envelopes is not mandatory. Some couples may choose to omit the inner envelope to reduce costs, conserve paper, or simply because they prefer a more modern approach. Ultimately, the decision is a matter of personal preference and practicality.

Addressing guests

The outer envelope should include the guests' names and address, while the inner envelope should have the names of the invited guests in the household. Traditionally, the inner envelope is used to indicate the guests addressed by the invitation, while the outer envelope is used for mailing. However, nowadays, it is becoming more common to use just an outer envelope, forgoing the inner envelope.

When addressing guests, their names should be written in full; avoid nicknames or initials. Use the appropriate social titles, such as addressing married couples as "Mr. and Mrs.". If a man has a suffix, you can write "Mr. Joseph Morales, Jr." or "Mr. Joseph Morales IV"; for a more formal invitation, you can spell out "Junior". For female guests, use "Ms." followed by their full name. For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx.".

If you are inviting a single guest with a plus one, it is best to know the name of the person they will bring. If not, you can simply include "& Guest" or "and guest" after the invitee's full name.

For unmarried couples living together, list the full names of each guest on one or two lines, with the appropriate titles. You can list the person you are closer with first. The same format applies to same-sex couples. Unmarried couples who don't live together should receive separate invitations.

When addressing guests with distinguished titles, such as doctors, the couple should be addressed as "The Doctors", which can be spelled out or abbreviated. For a heterosexual couple where the woman is the doctor, her name should be listed first with the title "Dr." For other married couples with distinguished titles, the person with the "higher" title is usually listed first.

Spell out all words in the address on the envelope, including "Street", "Post Office Box", and "Apartment". Also, write out the city and state names in full; for example, "Saint Paul, Minnesota" or "Washington, District of Columbia". House numbers smaller than 20 should also be spelled out.

Inner and Outer Envelopes

Using two envelopes ensures that each guest receives a pristine envelope, even if the outer one is damaged during delivery. The outer envelope includes all the information the postal service needs, while the inner envelope contains the names of the invited guests. However, using a single outer envelope is becoming more common, as it simplifies the process and reduces expenses and paper usage.

Assembling the invitation

Step 1: Get the main invitation card ready

The wedding invitation is the largest card in the invitation suite and is the base for all other pieces. Place the invitation card at the bottom, with the printed side facing up.

Step 2: Add vellum liners (optional)

If you have chosen to include a thin sheet of vellum between each invite, place it on top of the invitation card. Traditionally, this was used to prevent ink smudges but has become an optional design element.

Step 3: Stack the reception card

If you are providing a separate reception card, place it face up on top of the wedding invitation. This card will include the time and location of the reception, as well as any dress code information.

Step 4: Add other enclosure cards

Place any remaining enclosure cards, such as a map, hotel accommodations, or travel information cards, face up on top of the reception card. If there are multiple enclosure cards, start with the largest and work your way down to the smallest.

Step 5: Add the RSVP card and envelope

Place the RSVP envelope face down on top of the enclosure cards, with the flap on the left. Insert the reply card under the envelope flap, face up, so that the printed side is visible. Don't forget to pre-stamp and pre-address the reply envelope to make it easier for your guests to respond.

Step 6: Finishing touches

If you have chosen to include a belly band, ribbon, or vellum wrap, now is the time to assemble it. Belly bands are narrow strips of paper that wrap around the invitation suite and can be personalised. Ribbons can be tied in a variety of ways, such as a simple band, knot, or bow.

Step 7: Addressing

Traditionally, calligraphy was used to address envelopes, but printing names and addresses directly on the envelopes is becoming more common. If you are using a calligrapher, be sure to allow enough time for this step.

Step 8: Insert the invitation suite into the envelope

If you are using envelope liners, slide them into your envelopes before inserting the invitation suite. Insert the fully assembled invitation suite into the envelope, with the left edge going in first for a single-card invitation, or the folded edge first for a folded invitation. The invitation should be print-side up so that guests can immediately read the text when they open the envelope.

Step 9: Seal the envelope

Use an envelope moistener to wet the gummed edge of the envelope, taking care not to use too much to avoid sogginess. Place a heavy book on top of the stack of sealed envelopes to ensure they are securely sealed.

Step 10: Return address

Apply address labels, skinny wraps, or rubber stamps to the envelopes.

Step 11: Mail

Before mailing, bring a fully assembled invitation to the post office to have it weighed so you can determine the correct postage. Ask the post office to hand-cancel the invitations to reduce the risk of damage during mailing.

Postage and handling

Now that you've assembled your wedding invitations, it's time to weigh and stamp them. Bring a fully assembled invitation to the post office to have it weighed. Many invitations require postage for at least two ounces, which usually exceeds the cost of a first-class stamp. Have a reply card and its envelope weighed as well, to ensure that you don't over- or underpay for that postage.

While at the post office, ask what's available for stamps, or browse through a wider variety at usps.com. Vintage stamps can be purchased from philatelic societies. They are worth the amount printed on them, but they can cost much more since they are collectible and limited in quantity. You can also customize stamps through sites such as zazzle.com to match your wedding theme or monogram.

You can take your invitations to the post office and request that they be hand-cancelled. Machines print bar codes on the envelopes, but hand-cancelling—just marking each stamp—keeps invitations neat and prevents damage that machines can cause.

Some towns will cancel your stamps for you, imprinting them with their names. Call ahead to let the postmaster know the invitations are on their way. Then enclose your stamped, addressed invitations in a large padded envelope or box, along with a note detailing your request, and send them to the postmaster in your chosen town. Consider sending the envelopes Priority or Express Mail so you can track the package. Do ask the postmaster how long it will take so that you can allow enough time for invitations to be delivered, postmarked, and mailed out. Some towns that offer this service include:

• Bliss, New York 14024; 585-322-7740
• Bridal Veil, Oregon 97010; 503-695-2380
• Chapel Hill, North Carolina 27514; 919-942-4170
• Darling, Mississippi 38623; 662-326-8408
• Deary, Idaho 83823; 208-877-1470
• Groom, Texas 79039; 806-248-7988
• Harmony, Rhode Island 02829; 401-949-2745
• Honeyville, Utah 84314; 435-279-8213
• Kissimmee, Florida 34744; 407-846-0999
• Lovely, Kentucky 41231; 606-395-5848
• Loving, Texas 76460; 940-378-2259
• Luck, Wisconsin 54853; 715-472-2079
• Romance, Arkansas 72136; 501-556-5911

Weighing and Stamping Your Invitations

Before mailing your wedding invitations, bring a fully assembled set to the post office and ask them to weigh it so you know exactly how much postage you'll need. Be sure to also ask about international postage rates, if applicable. Once all your envelopes are stamped with sufficient postage, bring them to the post office to be hand-cancelled (instead of dropping them in a mailbox). Hand-cancelling alerts the post office to manually sort the envelopes instead of running them through machines, reducing the risk of damage.

Assembly Tips

If you're going to stuff your wedding invitations at home, we suggest creating an assembly line to make the process faster. Clear off a table and be sure to give it a good wipe down—you don't want to smudge your pristine invitations.

Lay out all the necessary pieces in neat piles. This will include the invitation itself, any enclosure cards and additional envelopes, and adornments like belly bands, vellum or tissue paper overlays, ribbons, and wax seals. We suggest assembling piles of invitations first, then stuffing them into the envelopes, but figure out what process makes the most sense for you based on your guest list and the number of pieces you're including.

Return address

The return address is an essential part of your wedding invitation suite. It allows guests to RSVP and provides a location for gifts to be mailed. It also ensures that any undelivered invitations can be returned to the sender.

Where to Place the Return Address

Place the return address on the back flap of the envelope. This makes it easily visible and accessible for the recipient and postal service, while maintaining a clean and uncluttered look on the front of the envelope. If you are using inner and outer envelopes, the return address only needs to go on the outermost envelope.

How to Format the Return Address

• Font - Select a font that aligns with your wedding's aesthetic. It is generally recommended to use handwritten calligraphy or a printer that mimics calligraphy fonts. If this is not possible, clear and legible handwriting or printed labels are also acceptable.
• Address - Traditionally, the return address on wedding invitations includes the names of the hosts or the individuals sending the invitations. This could be the parents of the bride, or the couple themselves. If you are unsure, default to the hosts of the wedding. You can also use a wedding planner’s address if they are overseeing the invitation process and managing RSVPs.
• Format - The return address should be formatted with the names on the first line, followed by the full street address on the second line, and the city, state, and zip code on the third line. Each line should be aligned with the left margin, with proper spacing and alignment for a clean and organised look. Avoid using abbreviations and instead spell out everyone's full name, the street name, the city, and the state.
• Labels - You can create return address labels to stick on the envelope, or order envelopes with the return address pre-printed.
• Stamp - You can also order a custom return address stamp to use over and over again.
• Calligraphy - You can hire a calligrapher to hand-write the return address.

Frequently asked questions