Lyla Dejesus
The honeymoon phase is an exciting and exhilarating period at the beginning of a relationship, filled with attraction, intimacy, and appreciation. While it is often fleeting, there are ways to prolong it and bring back those feelings. The key lies in creating adventure and novelty, injecting fun and new experiences into the relationship, and maintaining effective communication. Couples should also focus on individual well-being and mutual support, as seeing a partner in new and exciting ways can reignite the spark. While the honeymoon phase may fade, relationships can evolve into a deeper, more authentic connection, and with a little intention, the honeymoon feelings can be accessed again and again.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Duration | The honeymoon phase can last anywhere from two months to two-and-a-half years. |
| Feelings | Excitement, attraction, infatuation, passion, happiness, romance, euphoria, and idealization. |
| Brain Activity | Increased dopamine, nerve growth factor, and other feel-good chemicals. |
| Actions | Constant communication, wanting to be around each other, physical or sexual attraction, and overlooking potential flaws |
| Prolonging Techniques | Planning date nights, experiencing new things, effective communication, gratitude rituals, creating adventures, and injecting novelty into the relationship. |
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What You'll Learn
Create adventure and novelty
Creating adventure and novelty is a great way to prolong the honeymoon phase in a relationship. This phase is all about newness, excitement, attraction, intimacy, and appreciation. So, how can you create adventure and novelty?
Firstly, it's important to keep injecting novelty into the relationship. This doesn't mean simply scheduling a weekly date night, but rather tailoring those date nights around new and different activities. For example, instead of just going out for dinner, try something more adventurous like a dance class or a cooking workshop. You could also plan dates that are specifically designed to share or revisit your individual visions for your relationship. This might involve setting some time aside to have a deep conversation about your future together, which can help you feel more connected and excited about what lies ahead.
Another way to create adventure is to find extraordinary fun in ordinary moments. For instance, turn a long car trip into a fun game by asking each other up to 20 yes-or-no questions to guess each other's fantasies. This is a great way to learn something new about your partner and create a sense of novelty, even in mundane situations.
Additionally, don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try new things that could get your partner's attention. It might turn out to be a total disaster, but it will surely create a novel experience and give you something to laugh about down the road! This could be anything from trying a new extreme sport together to taking a trip to a new place.
Finally, remember that the honeymoon phase is not just about the big, grand gestures. Small, everyday actions can also create a sense of adventure and novelty. This might include something as simple as surprising your partner with their favourite latte or complimenting their appearance before they leave for work. These little acts of kindness can go a long way in making your partner feel appreciated and loved.
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Prioritise excitement, attraction, intimacy, and appreciation
The honeymoon phase is all about excitement, attraction, intimacy, and appreciation. Here are some ways to prioritise these aspects to prolong the honeymoon phase of your relationship:
Excitement
- Dionne Eleanor, a transformational coach, suggests that "it's the threads of adventure that keep the colours vibrant and the design alive" in the tapestry of love. She recommends creating adventure and finding extraordinary fun in the seemingly ordinary moments of life to enjoy your partner and keep the spark alive.
- Couples coach Brooke Genn agrees that creating adventure is key to keeping the honeymoon phase alive.
- Schedule weekly dates with your partner to do something new and different, such as trying out different restaurants, going out to watch movies, or engaging in activities that relieve stress and bring fun and excitement back into the relationship.
Attraction
- Maintaining a sense of newness and novelty in the relationship can help keep the attraction alive. This can be achieved by injecting novel experiences into date nights and getting away from simply spending quality time together.
- Having a supportive partner can help keep the honeymoon phase alive. Seeing your partner in new ways and in new situations, such as when they are pursuing their goals and achieving them, can be a turn-on and maintain attraction.
- Ensure that you have a good bedtime routine. This can include making out, kissing, reading to each other, or watching an episode of your favourite show together. Even something as simple as snuggling or spooning can make a huge difference in maintaining attraction.
Intimacy
- Prioritise your partner by putting away your phone and being present when you are spending time with them.
- Make time for your partner and share quality time, as this communicates that they matter and are a priority in your life.
- Learn about your partner's needs and work together to meet them. This can help build emotional and physical intimacy in your relationship.
- Try out new things in the bedroom, such as making love in different parts of the house, role-playing, or introducing sex toys, to ignite sexual intimacy and bring excitement back into your relationship.
Appreciation
- Showing appreciation is important every day, not just on special occasions. Expressing appreciation and gratitude can shift the entire culture of a relationship, fostering more gratitude and connection.
- Create a gratitude ritual, such as listing five things you appreciate about each other daily, either verbally or by writing them down for your partner to see.
- Focus on your partner's needs and help them meet their goals. This can be done through acts of service, giving gifts, quality time, physical touch, or words of affirmation, depending on what is most meaningful to your partner.
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Develop a gratitude ritual
Developing a gratitude ritual can be a great way to prolong the honeymoon phase in a relationship. The honeymoon phase is all about excitement, attraction, intimacy, and appreciation. By creating a gratitude ritual, you can consciously remind yourself and your partner of how much you appreciate each other. Here are some ways to develop this ritual:
Make it a Part of Your Day
Incorporate gratitude into your daily routine by setting aside a few quiet minutes each day to reflect. You can do this at the end of the day, during your lunch break, or even in the morning with a cup of coffee or tea. Find a comfortable spot, either indoors or outside in nature, and take some time to think about what you're grateful for.
Create a List
Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a powerful way to process and express your gratitude. Make a list of specific things you appreciate about your partner, including their actions, qualities, and how they make you feel. You can also keep a running list of anything that brings you joy, big or small, and add to it each day.
Handwrite Appreciation Messages
In addition to expressing gratitude for your partner, consider writing thank-you notes to family members, friends, or colleagues who have impacted you positively. Reflecting on their support and expressing your gratitude in writing can enhance your feelings of appreciation and strengthen your relationships.
Fill a Gratitude Jar
Get yourself a simple mason jar and some small slips of paper. Take a few minutes each day to write down what you're thankful for and put them in the jar. At the end of the week or month, read through the notes as a reminder of your blessings. You can even invite your partner or family members to join you in this practice and take turns sharing your gratitude with each other.
Remember, the key to a successful gratitude ritual is consistency. Find what works best for you and your partner, and make it a regular part of your routine. By consciously expressing gratitude and appreciation, you can help prolong the honeymoon phase and deepen your connection.
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Foster independence
While the honeymoon phase is a wonderful time in a relationship, it is often short-lived. The intense, pleasurable feelings experienced during this period are due to changes in brain activity and chemistry—specifically, increased levels of dopamine, the "happy hormone", and nerve growth factor, a protein that increases feelings of euphoria. However, these changes are not permanent, and eventually, brain activity and chemistry return to their normal state.
Despite this, there are ways to foster independence while also prolonging the honeymoon phase. Firstly, it is important to maintain your independence and sense of self within the relationship. While it is easy to get caught up in the "we" of a relationship, having space to focus on yourself and your interests can help maintain attraction and excitement.
Another way to foster independence while prolonging the honeymoon phase is to support your partner's independence and goals. Encourage them to pursue their passions and achieve their goals. This can create opportunities to see your partner in a new and exciting light, which can be a turn-on. Additionally, it can strengthen your connection and create a deeper understanding of each other.
Injecting novelty into the relationship can also help prolong the honeymoon phase. This can be done by planning dates or experiences that are new and different, rather than simply relying on quality time together. For example, you could try playing a game where you ask each other yes-or-no questions to guess your partner's fantasies or desires. This can help you learn something new about each other and create a sense of newness and excitement.
Finally, maintaining a positive mindset and focusing on the good in your relationship can be beneficial. This includes practising daily kindnesses and compliments towards your partner, as well as expressing gratitude and appreciation for each other. These simple actions can help keep your connection strong and foster a sense of independence, as you are both contributing positively to the relationship.
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Plan date nights
Planning date nights is a great way to prolong the honeymoon phase in a relationship. Dates don't always have to be fancy or expensive, but they should be a priority. Plan them around new and different activities to inject novelty into the relationship. For instance, instead of going to a restaurant for dinner, try a cooking class together. Or, if you usually go out for drinks, try a cocktail-making class instead.
Date nights can also be spontaneous and don't always have to be nights out. A spontaneous date night could be a surprise picnic in the park, or a day trip to a small town your partner has been wanting to visit. It could even be a night in, where you cook a meal together, play games, and have a no-phone rule to ensure you connect and talk about new and interesting topics.
You can also plan date nights to share or revisit your individual visions for your relationship. This could be a fun way to connect and ensure you are both working towards the same goals.
It's important to keep the spark alive and make time for each other, especially when life gets busy. So, make sure you plan date nights in advance and stick to them. You could even recreate your honeymoon by booking a night or weekend in a local hotel. Bring things that will remind you of your honeymoon, such as pictures from a previous vacation, or something sexier like lingerie.
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Frequently asked questions
The honeymoon phase is the fun, passionate stage at the start of a relationship. It is when you and your partner can't get enough of each other and everything is new and exciting. It is marked by healthy infatuation, intense emotions and an idealized perception of your partner.
The honeymoon phase usually lasts from several months to two years, but it varies for every couple. Some sources state that it can last a maximum of 18 to 24 months, while others say it can be as short as a few months.
After the honeymoon phase, couples may face more challenges and idealize each other less. They may start to see each other's flaws and the relationship may feel more routine. However, this is a natural evolution of the relationship, shifting from intense passion to deeper currents of trust, commitment, and understanding.
To prolong the honeymoon phase, it is important to consistently communicate and experience new things together. Plan quality time where you can enjoy each other's company without distractions, such as phones. Continue to date and create new memories together, and work on building a deeper, more genuine connection.
