Planning A Small Wedding: Keep It Intimate And Simple

Planning a wedding can be stressful, and opting for a smaller, more intimate wedding doesn't necessarily make it less so. In fact, it can be a special kind of stress because it often comes with a sense of guilt that couples planning big weddings don't experience. However, small weddings can be every bit as beautiful as large events, and they allow couples room for more personalisation, are typically more eco-friendly, and decrease planning stress. So, how do you go about planning the smallest possible wedding? First, you need to decide on your guest list, which will then inform your choice of venue. You could choose a venue based on its significance to you and your partner, or opt for a non-traditional venue like a restaurant, boat, mountaintop, or library. You could even have it in your backyard. Next, you'll need to set expectations and boundaries with your family and friends, as small weddings can be unpopular choices with parents and others. Finally, don't be afraid to ask for help from a wedding planner or coordinator, and remember to keep the purpose of your marriage in mind throughout the planning process.

Keep the guest list short and intimate

Keeping the guest list short and intimate is a great way to make your wedding a memorable, stress-free, and budget-friendly event. A smaller guest list allows you to focus on creating a personal and meaningful experience for both you and your guests. Here are some tips to help you plan your special day:

Define Your Vision

Before sending out invitations, envision your dream wedding. Consider the vibe, setting, and overall feel you want to create. Having a clear vision will help you match your guest list to your ideal wedding style and make it easier to decide who you want to be part of your celebration.

Communicate Openly

Share your plans for an intimate wedding with friends and family. Be transparent about your intention to keep the guest list small, and set clear expectations to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. Let them know that your decision to limit the guest list is not a reflection of your relationship with them.

Prioritize Your Nearest and Dearest

When creating your guest list, focus on your absolute nearest and dearest. This may include immediate family members, close friends, and important mentors, as well as their plus-ones and/or children. Don't feel pressured to invite acquaintances, distant relatives, or people you barely know. Remember, your wedding day is about celebrating with those who are closest to you.

Manage Plus-Ones Strategically

You can choose to offer plus-ones only to guests who are married, engaged, in your wedding party, or in a serious long-term relationship. This helps to keep the guest list manageable while still being inclusive of established couples.

Consider a No-Kids Event

Deciding whether to invite children is a personal choice. If you prefer an adults-only celebration, address the invitations only to the grown-ups and indicate the number of seats reserved for them. This ensures a clear understanding of who is invited and helps to manage the guest count.

Choose a Smaller Venue

Opting for a smaller venue is a natural way to limit the number of guests. Look for intimate spaces that resonate with your vision and create a cozy ambiance. A smaller setting allows for closer interactions with your guests and fosters a more exclusive atmosphere.

Remember, your wedding day is about celebrating your love and creating lasting memories with your closest loved ones. By keeping the guest list short and intimate, you can achieve a meaningful and stress-free celebration.

Choose a meaningful location

Choosing a meaningful location for your small wedding is a great way to make your special day unique and personal. Here are some tips to help you select the perfect venue:

Pick a Place That's Special to You

Consider choosing a location that holds significance in your life and that of your future spouse. This could be the inn where your family vacations every year, a place you both visit frequently, or even your own backyard. If you opt for a venue with personal meaning, it will undoubtedly add a heartfelt touch to your wedding day.

Think About Venue Inclusions

When selecting a venue, consider what is included or not. For example, if you choose to get married at a country inn, essentials like food, tables, and chairs may already be provided, making the planning process more straightforward. On the other hand, if you opt for a backyard wedding, you'll likely need to arrange these details separately, which can add to your planning responsibilities.

Be Mindful of the Weather

If you have your heart set on an outdoor venue for the scenery and setting, remember that the weather can be unpredictable. Ensure your chosen location has suitable indoor spaces or backup options like tents to provide a seamless experience for you and your guests, regardless of the weather.

Consider Venue Size and Guest Count

While small weddings are intimate and unique, it's crucial to ensure the venue isn't too large for your guest list. A small group of guests in a vast space can make the event feel sparse and underwhelming. Conversely, you don't want to overcrowd a small venue. Knowing your estimated guest count before venue shopping can help you choose a place that feels just right.

Venue Amenities and Restrictions

Different venues have varying amenities and restrictions, so it's essential to ask questions. Inquire about setup and teardown times, noise restrictions, and whether they allow outside vendors or prefer you to use their in-house teams for catering, bartending, and floral arrangements. If you have specific visions, such as a candlelit ceremony or your dog as the ring bearer, ensure the venue can accommodate these requests.

Trust Your Instincts

Lastly, trust your instincts when choosing a venue. It should feel right and align with your vision for the wedding. If a place feels sterile or doesn't live up to the photos online, it might not be the best fit. Go with a venue that excites you and that you can easily envision celebrating your special day in.

Remember, the location you choose will set the stage for your entire celebration, so take your time and consider what truly matters to you and your future spouse.

Manage expectations and boundaries

Planning a small wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to managing expectations and boundaries. Here are some tips to help you navigate these challenges and plan the small wedding of your dreams:

Manage Expectations:

Be clear about your intentions: Small weddings allow for more personalisation and can be just as beautiful as larger events. However, they are a break from tradition, so be prepared for potential pushback. Be confident in your choice and communicate your intentions early to set expectations with your family and friends.

Set boundaries:

Stick to your vision: It's your special day, so choose the venue, guest list, and details that align with your vision. If you face pressure to go bigger, assert your boundaries and ask for support from your loved ones and vendors. Remember, it's about celebrating with your nearest and dearest, so only invite those who elevate your purpose and intention.

Navigate family dynamics:

Discuss family expectations: If you're planning a small wedding, be transparent with your family about your plans to avoid hurt feelings. This is especially important if you come from a large family or if your family has different cultural traditions.

Kid policy:

Decide together: Discuss whether children will be included in your small wedding and which children will make the VIP list. This is an important boundary to set, especially if you have many nieces and nephews or young relatives.

Guest list management:

Keep it intimate: When creating your guest list, focus on immediate family, close friends, and those you can't imagine celebrating without. Consider the size of your venue and budget, as these will impact your guest count. If you have room, you might offer plus-ones, but be mindful that your numbers can quickly grow.

Vendor communication:

Be clear and consistent: When working with vendors, communicate your vision and expectations clearly. Understand their policies on decorations, flowers, and music, as these may impact your plans. Don't be afraid to ask for their support in articulating your boundaries to others.

Remember, the key to managing expectations and boundaries is clear and honest communication. Be confident in your choices, set clear guidelines, and don't be afraid to ask for help. By doing so, you'll create a day that truly reflects your vision and values.

Plan ahead and get creative

Planning a small wedding can be a daunting task, but with the right approach, it can be a memorable and intimate celebration. Here are some tips to help you plan ahead and get creative:

Define Your Guest List

The first step in planning a small wedding is to create a concise guest list. Focus on inviting only your nearest and dearest, such as immediate family members and close friends. Be selective and consider the purpose of your wedding. Ensure that the individuals you invite will elevate the experience and align with your vision. This intentional approach will help you maintain an intimate atmosphere.

Choose a Meaningful Venue

Think about selecting a venue that holds a special significance for you and your partner. This could be a place you frequently visit, a beloved vacation spot, or even your own backyard. When choosing a venue, consider the amenities included. For example, a country inn may provide tables, chairs, and catering services, reducing your planning burden. If you opt for a backyard wedding, be prepared to plan additional details, such as renting tables and chairs.

Get Creative with Non-Traditional Venues

If you're open to non-traditional venues, the possibilities are endless. Explore options like local art museums, rustic barns, restaurants, boats, mountaintops, warehouses, or even libraries. These unique settings can add a touch of creativity and personality to your special day. Consider venues that align with your interests and create the ambiance you envision.

Plan Ahead and Manage Expectations

Small weddings can still be complex, so it's essential to plan ahead. Create a timeline and a budget that outlines your wants and needs, including the venue, guest count, meals, and decorations. Be clear about your intentions and set expectations early on to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings. Communicate your plans to your loved ones, so they can offer their support and respect your choices.

Incorporate Creative Touches

A small wedding provides the perfect opportunity to add personal and creative touches. Consider DIY projects, such as crafting your own welcome sign, assembling unique bouquets, or sourcing vintage furniture. These custom details will make your wedding feel extra special and intimate. You can also get creative with the format of your celebration. Instead of a traditional sit-down dinner, you might opt for an extended cocktail hour with heavy appetizers or an early ending time for guests to explore the area.

Remember, planning a small wedding is all about creating an intimate and meaningful experience. By defining your guest list, choosing a significant venue, planning ahead, and adding creative touches, your small wedding will be a memorable and joyful occasion.

Focus on the purpose of your marriage

Planning a small wedding can be a daunting task, especially when you consider the expectations and feelings of your loved ones. However, it is important to remember that the wedding ceremony is about the couple and their commitment to each other. Here are some tips to help you focus on the purpose of your marriage while planning an intimate wedding:

Set Clear Expectations

Communicate your plans for an intimate wedding early on to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings. Be transparent about your decision to have a small wedding, whether it's due to financial constraints, personal preferences, or other reasons. This way, your family and friends will be less likely to feel offended if they are not invited.

Choose a Meaningful Location

Select a venue that holds significance for you and your partner. This could be a place you frequently visit, a spot that holds special memories, or even your own backyard. Consider the size of the venue and the number of guests you plan to invite. A smaller venue can help create an intimate atmosphere and make the space feel full, even with a limited guest list.

Focus on Your Vows

Remember that the wedding ceremony is about the promises you and your partner will make to each other. These vows are the foundation of your marriage and should be at the heart of your celebration. Choose music and readings that reflect the meaning of your vows and help your guests understand the depth of your commitment.

Keep the Ceremony Intimate

When creating your guest list, consider inviting only those who will elevate your special day and support your marriage journey. It's okay to exclude people you don't have a strong relationship with. A small wedding allows you to surround yourself with the people who truly matter and who will uphold you through the joys and challenges of married life.

Personalize Your Celebration

Incorporate unique elements that reflect your personality and interests as a couple. Whether it's a creative photo booth, a cocktail hour instead of a sit-down dinner, or a non-traditional venue like a boat or a mountaintop, make your wedding authentic and memorable. This is your day to celebrate your love and commitment, so let go of the desire to impress others and focus on what matters to you.

Remember, the purpose of your marriage is to build a future together, navigate life's ups and downs as a team, and support each other through thick and thin. Your wedding day is the first step on this journey, so focus on the love and commitment you share, and don't get too caught up in the stress of planning.

Frequently asked questions