Phrasing Backup Location Elegantly On Your Wedding Invite

Wedding invitation wording can be tricky, but it's important to include all the essential details, such as the couple's full names, the hosts, the date and time, location, and reception details. But what about including a backup location in case of unforeseen circumstances?

While it's essential to provide guests with all the necessary information, including a backup location on the wedding invite is generally not recommended as it may confuse guests. Instead, it's advisable to include the primary venue and, if needed, inform guests of any changes closer to the date or on the day.

However, it's a good idea to have a backup plan and a strategy for communicating it to your guests if necessary. For example, you could have a phone chain, with the bridal party or family members contacting guests with the updated details. Alternatively, you could put a sign at the original location, anticipating late arrivals, or update your wedding website with the new details.

Including a backup location on a wedding invite

Provide Clear and Concise Information:

Keep the wording on your wedding invitation clear and concise. Include only the essential details, such as the couple's full names, the host line, the request line, the date and time, the location, and the reception details. A separate details card can be tucked in with the main invitation to provide additional information, such as the backup location.

Handle the Backup Location with Discretion:

It is generally advised not to put the backup location on the wedding invitation itself. This may cause confusion for your guests and take away from the design of your invitation. Instead, consider including the backup location on a separate details card or your wedding website. Only a small subset of your guests will likely need this information, so providing it separately ensures that your primary invitation remains clear and elegant.

Inform Guests Close to the Wedding Date:

In most cases, you won't know if you need to use the backup location until a day or two before the wedding. At that time, you can inform your guests of the change. Delegate this task to your bridal party or close family members to ensure it gets done efficiently. Have a phone chain ready, and ask them to contact groups of guests to spread the word.

Emphasize the Need for Guests to Check the Website:

If you decide to include the backup location on your wedding website, make sure to emphasize to your guests the importance of checking the website for any updates or changes. This is especially crucial if you have guests who are less likely to go online or check for updates. You can also use other means of communication, such as email or text messages, to reach your guests and ensure they are informed.

Be Mindful of Timing:

When creating your guest list, it is essential to decide early on if you will need an A-List and a B-List. This will give you time to organize the lists, prepare invitations, and set appropriate RSVP deadlines. Send your A-List invitations around 12 weeks in advance, and set the RSVP deadline for this group at around eight weeks before the wedding. For the B-List invitations, choose a deadline for adding guests to this list and mail all the invitations on the same day. This helps you keep track and ensures timely delivery.

Maintain Consistency:

When creating your A-List and B-List, apply consistent criteria to determine who qualifies for each list. The last thing you want is for guests to compare notes and realize they were on the B-List. While this may be challenging to avoid completely, consistent criteria will help minimize the chances of this happening.

Wording and etiquette for wedding invites

The wording of a wedding invitation should provide essential details such as the couple's full names, the hosts, the ceremony location, and the reception venue. It should also indicate the level of formality of the wedding. Here are some tips and examples to help you navigate the wording and etiquette of your wedding invitations:

Host Line:

The host line traditionally includes the name of the person(s) hosting (usually the bride's parents). However, listing the names of both sets of parents is also acceptable, especially if both families are contributing financially. If the couple is hosting themselves, you can omit the host line or use a warm introduction such as "Together with full hearts" or "With hearts full of love and joy".

Examples:

• "Mr. and Mrs. John L. Smith request the pleasure of your company..." (Formal)
• "Kenzie M. Smith and Jennifer L. Smith, together with Mark Franklin and Mary Elizabeth Reyes, request the honor of your presence..." (Both sets of parents)
• "The honor of your presence is requested at the marriage of Jack Alexander Smith and Mason Jacob Kim..." (Couple hosting)

Request Line:

This is where you invite guests to attend your wedding and set the tone for the celebration. The wording can vary depending on the formality and religious aspect of the wedding.

Examples:

• "Request the honor of your presence" (Religious service)
• "Request the pleasure of your company" (Non-religious ceremony)
• "Invite you to celebrate with them"
• "Would love for you to join them"

Action Line:

This line specifies what guests are being invited to share in, such as the marriage or celebration of the couple's union.

Examples:

• "At the marriage of their daughter..." (Bride's parents hosting)
• "At the marriage of their children..." (Both sets of parents hosting)
• "At the celebration of their union..." (Couple hosting)
• "As they say 'I do'!"

Couple's Names:

For different-sex couples, the bride's name typically comes first, followed by the groom's full name or first and middle name. For same-sex couples, you can list names alphabetically by last name or based on design preference. First names only can be used for a less formal feel.

Date and Time:

Traditionally, the date and time are spelled out in full. For a modern take, numerical figures can be used. Be sure to use a legible font to avoid confusion.

Examples:

• "Saturday, the seventeenth of August two thousand twenty-four at half after four in the afternoon" (Traditional)
• "Saturday, August 17, 2024, at 4:30 p.m." (Modern)

Location:

Include the name and full address of the wedding venue, including the city, state, and zip code. If the wedding is abroad, specify the country as well. If the reception is at the same location, simply state "Reception to follow." For a different reception venue, provide the full address on a separate details card or your wedding website.

Dress Code:

Including dress code information is optional but can be helpful for guests. If your wedding is black-tie, it is essential to mention it on the invitation. Otherwise, guests will infer the attire based on the invitation's formality.

Examples:

• "Black-tie" (Formal)
• "Formal attire"
• "Cocktail attire"
• "Beach casual"

Wedding Website:

Avoid printing the wedding website on the main invitation card. Instead, include it on a separate reception or information card. It is also a good idea to have the website URL or QR code on your save-the-date cards.

RSVP Cards:

Wording your RSVP cards consistently with the invitation is essential. For example, "The favor of a reply" matches the invitation wording "The honor of your presence." Provide a deadline for responses, typically three to four weeks before the wedding, to allow enough time for catering and seating arrangements.

Backup Location:

It is generally not recommended to include a backup location on the wedding invitation itself, as it may confuse guests. Instead, consider including it on your wedding website or informing guests closer to the date if needed. If you anticipate last-minute changes, it is helpful to have a phone chain or a list of guests' phone numbers to facilitate communication.

How to handle late RSVPs

When it comes to handling late RSVPs, there are a few steps you can take to ensure you have an accurate headcount for your wedding. Here are some tips to help you navigate this situation:

Set a Buffer Deadline

It is recommended to set your RSVP deadline for two weeks before your guest count needs to be submitted to the caterer. This will give you a buffer to account for any last-minute responses and ensure you have an accurate number for your final confirmation.

Make Courtesy Calls

After your deadline has passed, give it a couple of extra days to account for any responses that might be in the mail. Then, make a round of courtesy calls or send emails to those who have not responded. This can be a friendly reminder and a chance to ask if they plan to attend. It's a good idea to make these calls about a week before you need to give your caterer and other vendors the final numbers. This way, you can prevent surprises and give your guests the benefit of the doubt if they didn't receive the invitation or forgot to respond.

Keep a Calm Tone

When reaching out to those who haven't responded, it's important to remain friendly and calm, even if you're feeling frustrated. Remember that mistakes happen, and there could be a variety of innocent reasons why someone hasn't responded. Try to put yourself in a good mood before making these calls, and always express that you hope to see them at the wedding but understand if they can't make it.

Divide the Task

Don't take on the burden of chasing down late RSVPs alone! Delegate this task with your partner, especially if there are certain friends or family members they are closer to. It's a team effort, and you can work together to ensure you get the responses you need.

Consider a Subtle Warning

When sending out your initial invitations and RSVP cards, you may want to include a subtle warning about the importance of timely responses. Something lighthearted, like "We ask that guests RSVP as soon as possible to help us plan a good time for everyone!" can encourage guests to respond promptly without sounding pushy.

Remember, it's always a good idea to give yourself some wiggle room when planning, as there are bound to be a few late responses or unexpected changes. By staying organized and proactive, you can handle late RSVPs with grace and ensure your wedding day goes smoothly!

When to send out wedding invites

When it comes to wedding invites, timing is everything. Send them too early, and your big day might slip your guests' minds. Send them too late, and they might not have enough time to take time off work, book accommodations, or make travel arrangements. So, when is the best time to send out wedding invites?

The Sweet Spot

The sweet spot for sending out wedding invites is around two months, or six to eight weeks, before the wedding. This gives your guests enough time to clear their schedules and make any necessary arrangements, without being too early. It also means you can request RSVPs sooner, allowing you to get a final headcount, invite guests on your B-list if needed, and complete your seating charts before the week of the wedding.

Save-the-Dates

If you're sending save-the-dates, you can send them four to six months, or even earlier, before the wedding, especially if you're planning a destination wedding that requires more extensive travel arrangements. This gives your guests a timely heads-up, making it easier for them to plan their attendance.

Out-of-Town Guests

If you're inviting out-of-town or international guests, it's a good idea to send their invites a little earlier. For international guests, send their invites nine to ten weeks, or even up to a year, in advance. For out-of-town guests, eight weeks is a good timeframe. This gives them enough time to book flights and accommodations and plan their travel.

Don't Send Them Too Early

While you might be tempted to send your invites earlier to give your guests more time, this can actually backfire. People's plans can change, and the more time between the RSVP date and the wedding, the more likely it is that unexpected things will come up. Sending your invites too early may result in an inaccurate guest count, which can affect your venue and vendor arrangements.

Don't Send Them Too Late

On the other hand, don't cut it too close to the wedding date. Sending invites less than six weeks before the wedding may not give your guests enough time to make the necessary arrangements, especially if they need to request time off work or book flights.

In conclusion, the ideal timeframe for sending out wedding invites is six to eight weeks before the wedding. This strikes the right balance between giving your guests enough notice and not giving them too much time for plans to change. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy this exciting step in your wedding planning journey!

How to divide a guest list

When it comes to how to divide a guest list, there are several things to consider. Firstly, it is important to start with a realistic budget. The number of guests will impact the budget, so it is crucial to determine how many people you can afford to invite before finalising the guest list. This will also help you choose a suitable venue for your wedding.

Next, you should prioritise close loved ones, such as immediate family members and close friends, and ensure they make the cut. It is also a good idea to be mindful of travel requirements when creating your guest list. Consider whether your chosen venue is easily accessible for your guests and whether they will need to make any travel arrangements, such as booking flights or visas.

Another important aspect is deciding on a policy for plus-ones. You may choose to only offer plus-ones to those in long-term relationships or allow each guest to bring a plus-one, depending on your budget and venue capacity. If you are contributing to the budget, you should also discuss how much say you will have in creating the guest list.

• Write out draft lists separately: Create your own lists first and then compare them to see who overlaps. This will give you a good starting point and help identify any discrepancies.
• Utilise a guest list manager: Use a tool or spreadsheet to keep track of guest names, addresses, phone numbers, RSVPs, and any other relevant information.
• Be honest about your budget: Discuss the budget openly with your parents or anyone else contributing financially to avoid conflicts later on.
• Set a rough count early: Decide on a rough guest count early on to help with budget management and venue selection.
• Only invite people you know: Avoid inviting distant relatives or friends you haven't seen in a long time. Focus on those who are important to you and your partner.
• Consider relationships when creating a seating chart: Try to seat guests together who you think will get along and avoid placing people next to each other who may feel uncomfortable.

Remember, it is your special day, so ultimately, the final decision about the guest list should be made by you and your partner. Good luck with your wedding planning!

Frequently asked questions