Deborah Chan
Paying gratuities at wedding venues can be a tricky business, with many vendors and customs to consider. It's important to review your vendor contracts to see if gratuity is included, and to check local customs if you're getting married outside the US. Generally, it's a good idea to prepare tips in advance and give them to a wedding planner or coordinator to distribute. Tipping expectations vary depending on the vendor, but it's customary to tip bartenders, waitstaff, photographers, videographers, florists, musicians, DJs, and venue staff. Tips can range from $50 to $200 per person, or a percentage of the total bill, with some vendors expecting gratuity to be included in the final invoice.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Who to pay gratuity to | Wedding planner, venue coordinator, caterer, bartender, hairstylist, makeup artist, photographer, videographer, florist, band or DJ, transportation company, officiant, reception venue staff, delivery and setup staff, etc. |
| How much to pay | $50–$300 per vendor, $50–$150 for each assistant, $10–$25 per waiter or bartender, $1–$2 per car for valets, 15–20% of the total bill for catering staff, 10–15% of the total bill for florists and DJs, 15% of the ceremony music fee or $15–$25 per musician for ceremony musicians, $25–$50 per musician for reception bands, etc. |
| When to pay | At the end of the reception, upon return from the honeymoon, at the end of the service, before the wedding, after the last ride, etc. |
| How to pay | Cash tips, gifts, handwritten thank-you notes, reviews on websites, etc. |
| Other considerations | Tipping customs vary within different locations, so it is important to ask about local customs and guidelines. It is also important to review contracts to confirm where gratuity is already included in the final cost. |
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What You'll Learn
Check your contract for prepaid gratuities
It's important to check your wedding contracts to see if gratuity is included in the fees. This will help you avoid accidentally tipping twice. A service fee is different from gratuity, so be sure not to confuse the two.
You'll likely have contracts for your venue and important vendors, so spend some time reviewing them. "As elementary as it sounds, read the contract," says Caroline Fox of The Engaged Legal Collective. "This is a really big investment. You shouldn't throw 10 or 15 thousand dollars at something without knowing what's going on."
You should expect a contract from every vendor participating in your wedding day. Anything involving custom work, payment installments, or goods and services used on the wedding day should come with a formal agreement. This includes your caterer, the creator of a custom escort card wall, and the shop that sold you your wedding dress.
Your contract should also outline all the details regarding payments. This includes the non-refundable deposit, when payment installments are due, and when additional payments are refundable versus non-refundable.
If gratuity is not included in your contract, you can ask your wedding planner or venue coordinator about the local tipping customs and guidelines. Tipping customs vary, even within the United States, and your planner will know the customary wedding gratuity etiquette in your area. They can also help you organize your tip envelopes and distribute them on the day of the wedding.
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Research local customs
When it comes to wedding gratuity customs, it's important to note that they can vary even within a country. If you're getting married outside your home country, it's essential to do your research and consult local experts. Wedding planners and venue coordinators are invaluable resources for understanding the local customs and etiquette around tipping. They can guide you through the expected gratuity practices for your specific region.
In some regions, venues may charge a service fee or administrative fee, which is separate from gratuity. This fee typically covers the wages of the venue's staff, such as dishwashers, cooks, housekeeping, and administration. However, it may not include tips for wait staff, bartenders, or other service personnel. It's crucial to carefully review your contract and clarify with the venue whether the service charge includes gratuity or if additional tipping is expected.
Local customs and expectations can vary, so it's beneficial to seek advice from those with experience in your wedding destination. Online forums and reviews from couples who have previously organised weddings in the area can offer valuable insights. They can share their experiences and provide information on which vendors are typically tipped and the approximate amounts. This knowledge will help you navigate the local customs and show your appreciation appropriately.
Additionally, certain vendors might have specific preferences or expectations regarding gratuity. For example, photographers and videographers may not require a tip as they are business owners, but they often appreciate a cash tip or a thoughtful gift, especially if they spend a significant amount of time with you on your wedding day. It's always a good idea to ask individual vendors about their preferred methods of gratuity and show your gratitude accordingly.
When it comes to the wedding officiant, tipping practices can vary depending on their affiliation. If the officiant is a member of the clergy or affiliated with a religious institution, a donation to that institution is often expected instead of a direct tip. However, if the officiant is a civil officiant, gratuity may be prohibited, and a thoughtful gift or donation might be more appropriate.
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Tip the wedding planner
Tipping customs vary even within the United States, so your wedding planner will know the customary wedding gratuity etiquette in your area. They can also help you organize your tip envelopes before the wedding and help distribute them on the day of. It's recommended that you include your wedding planner in the process when you finalize your list of who to tip for the wedding.
While tips are never expected, they are always appreciated. Tipping is a simple way to say thank you to the hardworking professionals who helped make your dream day come true. Tipping doesn't always have to be monetary, either; there are lots of ways to "tip" your vendors to show appreciation. For example, you could write a public review for each of your vendors, which is an extra special way to thank them for their hard work. A review can also be an important tool for future brides and grooms when they're planning their wedding.
If you do plan to give a monetary tip, it's recommended that you tip your wedding planner 15–20% of the total fee. Alternatively, you can send a nice gift or gift card. When to tip? Hand off the envelope at the end of the reception or send a thank-you note with a check or gift right after the honeymoon. Even if you've only hired a month-of wedding planner or a day-of wedding coordinator, a tip is appreciated.
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Tip the delivery and setup staff
Tipping wedding delivery and setup staff is customary. It is important to recognise those who are doing the heavy lifting during the setup and breakdown process. It is recommended to give a gratuity to anyone delivering important items to the site, such as the wedding cake, flowers, or sound system. If a lot of equipment needs to be brought in and set up (such as tents, chairs, or portable toilets), the workers deserve a tip as well.
The amount of the tip can vary depending on the service provided and the level of effort involved. It is generally recommended to tip these workers between $10 and $50 per person. It may be challenging to know how many delivery workers will be on-site, so it is advisable to work with your planner, catering manager, or venue coordinator to estimate the number of envelopes needed.
When tipping delivery staff, it is best to give the cash envelopes directly to the staff at the time of delivery. This ensures that each staff member receives the appropriate tip for their work. However, if the delivery is expected to arrive the day before the wedding, you can give the envelopes to the catering manager, who can then distribute the tips to the delivery staff.
It is also important to note that the customs around tipping may vary depending on your location. If you are getting married outside the US, it is advisable to consult your wedding planner or venue coordinator about the local tipping norms and guidelines. They can guide you on the appropriate amounts and timing for tipping the delivery and setup staff.
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Tip the reception staff
Tipping the reception staff at your wedding venue is a thoughtful way to express gratitude for their services. The amount you tip may depend on the nature and quality of the services provided, as well as the local customs and guidelines. It is recommended to give a tip of $50 to $100 per person for those involved in the setup and breakdown of the event space. This includes the catering/banquet manager, head waiter, and other waitstaff.
For the head chef, a tip of $50 to $100 is generally appropriate, while $20 per person is recommended for kitchen staff. If bartending services are included in your catering package, gratuity might already be included in the bill. If not, or if you hired a separate bartender, it is customary to tip a few dollars per guest or a total of $200 to be split between the bartenders, depending on the number of guests and the duration of the event.
When it comes to the timing of tipping, it is generally recommended to provide tips at the end of the reception or after the services have been rendered. You can give the tips directly to the staff or provide a trusted venue attendant or coordinator with envelopes containing the appropriate cash amounts to be distributed to the staff.
It is also worth noting that some venues include gratuity in their fees, so be sure to review your contract carefully to avoid double tipping. Additionally, if you are getting married outside the US, it is advisable to inquire about local tipping customs and guidelines.
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Frequently asked questions
The amount you tip your wedding vendors can vary depending on their role and the quality of service provided. It's a good idea to review your contract to see if gratuity is already included. If not, standard amounts include:
- Wedding planner: $50–$150 for each photographer/videographer assistant
- Florist: 10-15% of the total bill
- Bartender: $20-$25 per bartender
- Musicians: $15-$25 per musician
- DJ: $50-$150
- Clergy member: $100+ donation
Gratuities are typically handed out at the end of the reception. However, some vendors, such as hairstylists, should be tipped at the end of their service. It's a good idea to prepare your tips in advance and give them to your wedding planner to distribute at the appropriate times.
No, self-employed vendors or business owners are not usually tipped. However, if you feel they have gone above and beyond, you may want to send a post-wedding gift or gift certificate.
Cash is usually the best way to pay gratuities. If you are paying in cash, prepare the tips in advance and place each in its own dedicated envelope.
