Deborah Chan
Wedding days are emotional, and it's natural to want to keep tears at bay during the ceremony, especially when reciting your vows. While some people embrace the tears, others want to avoid them. There are several tricks to achieve this, from practical steps like sipping water and practicing your vows to physical distractions like pinching yourself or pushing your tongue to the roof of your mouth. Ultimately, it's about managing your emotions and finding what works for you.
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What You'll Learn
Practice your vows
Practicing your vows is a great way to prepare for your wedding day and can help you feel more confident and in control of your emotions. Here are some tips to help you practice effectively and reduce the chances of crying during your vows:
Start Practicing Early
Give yourself plenty of time to practice your vows. The more you familiarize yourself with the words, the more comfortable and desensitized you will become. Start by reading your vows out loud when you are alone. Although it may be challenging at first, the more you practice, the easier it will become.
Practice in Front of Others
While practicing alone is essential, it is also beneficial to practice in front of others. Share your vows with your maid of honor, best man, or someone else you trust. Practicing in front of others can help you become more comfortable with public speaking and reduce nerves on the day. It can also provide an opportunity to receive feedback and make any necessary adjustments to your vows.
Combine with Deep Breathing
Combine your vow practice with deep breathing exercises. Taking deep breaths can help ground you and provide a sense of clarity. Practice deep breathing while reciting your vows to help you feel more relaxed and calm. A simple technique is to breathe in through your nose for a count of seven, hold your breath for a count of three, and then slowly exhale through your mouth for another count of seven.
Focus on Delivery
When practicing your vows, try to shift your focus to the delivery of the words rather than the emotional meaning. Concentrate on speaking clearly, maintaining eye contact, and projecting your voice. This technique can help you detach from the overwhelming emotions and provide a sense of distance from the tears.
Embrace the Emotions
While practicing, it is important to remember that crying is normal and okay. Instead of trying to suppress your emotions, embrace them and allow yourself to feel the joy and love of the moment. By accepting that crying may happen, you can gain a better handle on your feelings and learn to manage them during the ceremony.
Remember, practicing your vows is a personal journey, and you may find that a combination of these tips works best for you. The key is to feel prepared and comfortable, allowing you to fully enjoy the experience of sharing your vows with your partner.
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Do a first look
One way to avoid crying during your wedding vows is to do a "first look". This is when you see your future spouse for the first time before the ceremony, which can be a helpful calming mechanism. This can be a private moment between the two of you, with the wedding photographer on hand to capture the moment.
The first look can help you to get out your emotions before the ceremony. You can have your photographer snap a few pictures, give each other a quick kiss, say "See you at the altar", and then do a quick makeup touch-up if needed. This way, you can get out your tears before the ceremony and have a clear state of mind to continue on into your special occasion tear-free.
If you are worried about crying during your wedding vows, you can also practice saying them beforehand, perhaps even at the ceremony rehearsal, to keep the emotions from overwhelming you. You can also include some comic relief in your vows to help break the tension.
It is also worth noting that there is nothing wrong with showing emotion during your wedding vows. Many guests may find it touching. However, if you are worried about "ugly crying", there are cosmetic steps you can take, such as using waterproof mascara and setting powder or spray.
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Sip water
Wedding ceremonies can be overwhelming, and it's hard not to feel moved to tears. If you want to avoid crying during your wedding vows, sipping ice water can help. Here's why and how it works:
It is difficult to cry and drink water at the same time. By focusing on drinking water, you can distract yourself from the overwhelming emotions and shock yourself out of that lump-in-the-throat feeling. Additionally, the cold water can help cool down your face, which can impact your mood and give you a sense of calmness.
How to Use This Technique:
- Before the wedding, ensure that you have easy access to a glass of water during the ceremony, especially when you are about to exchange vows. You can assign this task to your maid of honor or best man, so they can hand you the water at the right moment.
- When you feel yourself becoming emotional during the vows, take a sip of water. Focus on the sensation of the cold water going down your throat and take slow, steady breaths.
- If you need a moment to compose yourself further, you can also use this time for a quick touch-up or to pinch yourself gently as another way to distract yourself from the overwhelming emotions.
Remember, it's normal to feel a range of emotions on your wedding day. While sipping water can help you manage tears, it's also important to embrace and cherish these special moments and the memories they create.
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Pinch yourself
Pinching yourself is a well-known method to snap out of an emotional moment and is a common tactic to stop yourself from crying during your wedding vows. The sudden pain distracts you, stopping the tears from flowing.
When to Pinch
The emotions of your wedding day can take you by surprise, and you may find yourself welling up at any moment. You might feel particularly moved when you see your grandparents holding hands, or when you see your partner for the first time in their wedding outfit. If you feel yourself getting emotional, the best spot to give yourself a quick pinch is on the skin between your finger and thumb.
Practice Your Vows
The more you practice your vows, the more you can desensitize yourself to the words. Practicing can help you become familiar with the feelings that arise when you are reciting your vows, and you can learn to manage your emotions.
Other Tips to Stay Tear-Free
- Repeat funny safe words to yourself.
- Take slow, deep breaths.
- Distract yourself by pushing your tongue to the roof of your mouth.
- Picture your officiant fully nude!
- Focus on the words you are saying, rather than your emotions.
- Write traditional vows and exchange self-written vows on your wedding night.
- Sip ice water during toasts.
- Talk about your relationship and why you love your partner before the wedding.
- Keep tissues close at hand.
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Push your tongue to the roof of your mouth
Pushing your tongue to the roof of your mouth is a well-known tactic to prevent yourself from crying. This is because the physical action can help to distract you from the emotion of the moment.
If you are looking for ways to stop yourself from crying during your wedding vows, this could be a good technique to try. Wedding vows are often a very emotional part of the ceremony, and it is natural to feel overwhelmed. The promises you make to your partner are momentous and can bring up a lot of feelings.
There are a few ways to prepare for this moment and reduce the chances of crying. Firstly, practice reading your vows out loud. The more you practice, the more comfortable you will feel on the day, and the less likely you are to cry. You can also write your vows in a way that makes you feel more confident, such as adding a pinch of humour.
Another way to prepare is to familiarise yourself with the physical action of pushing your tongue to the roof of your mouth. This can be done by practicing the action regularly in the lead-up to your wedding. That way, when you feel yourself becoming emotional during the vows, you can easily and naturally adopt this position and hopefully prevent any tears.
Remember, it is okay to feel emotional during your wedding vows. These are heartfelt moments, and a few happy tears can be a beautiful part of the ceremony. But if you would prefer to keep your eyes dry, pushing your tongue to the roof of your mouth is a simple and subtle technique that may help you achieve that.
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Frequently asked questions
Practice reading your vows out loud. The more you practice, the more you can desensitize yourself to your words. You could also try to make your vows a bit more lighthearted or humorous to take the edge off.
Settle on a format and tone with your fiancé. Discuss the overall tone you want your words to have, as well as a length you both can handle. You could also write letters to each other and keep the vows more neutral.
Take a sip of water, or push your tongue to the roof of your mouth. Take deep breaths, force yourself to smile, and blink if you feel tears coming.
Focus on something else, like the food you're going to eat later, or the music you'll be dancing to. You could also try to pinch yourself, or look away from your partner.
Have a private reveal with your partner and the wedding photographer on-hand. This way, you can get some of the emotions out before the ceremony. You can also do a thorough rehearsal of the ceremony with your celebrant/officiant.
