Strategies To Avoid Tears On Your Wedding Day

how to make yourself not cry at your wedding

It's normal to cry at weddings, but if you want to avoid it on your big day, there are several things you can do. First, you can practice reciting your vows so that you're desensitized to your words. You can also do a first look with your partner before the ceremony to get the emotions out of the way. Another strategy is to think about your makeup and how much time and money you spent on it. You can also reconsider the music and choose a song that's more upbeat and won't make you cry. Lastly, keep your vows lighthearted and include some comic relief to break the tension.

Characteristics Values
Practice vows Practice vows in front of a mirror, in silly voices or accents, or with your officiant.
First look Have a private reveal with your photographer before the ceremony.
First touch Stand around a corner, through a window, or back-to-back before the ceremony.
First prayer Don't see or touch each other, but hear each other's voice as you say a prayer before the ceremony.
Vows Keep them lighthearted or include comic relief.
Music Choose an upbeat song for walking down the aisle.
Alcohol Limit your consumption.
Food Eat fresh, healthy, low-GI food throughout the day.
Makeup Go mascara-free with eyelash extensions, and use waterproof makeup.
Inside jokes Whisper a funny safe word to each other.
Math Do simple math in your head.
Deep breathing Take meditative breaths while the officiant and your partner are speaking.
Tongue Press your tongue to the roof of your mouth.
Tissues Keep them close at hand.

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Practice your vows

One of the most effective ways to prevent yourself from crying at your wedding is to practice reciting your vows. While it's lovely to be surprised by your soon-to-be spouse's poetic professions of love during the wedding, knowing what to expect can help you hold back the tears.

Practice with your partner:

Annmarie, a real bride, shared that she and her now-husband practiced reciting their traditional vows a couple of times with their minister the day before the wedding. This helped them feel more comfortable and less nervous in front of their guests, allowing them to focus more on each other than on the words.

Practice individually:

If you want to keep your vows a surprise for your partner, you can practice reciting them individually. You can do this in front of a mirror or even record yourself to get used to hearing your own voice. The more you practice, the more desensitized you'll become to your words, reducing the likelihood of tears.

Make it fun:

To make practicing less emotional and more enjoyable, try using different voices and accents. This will help you become familiar with your vows while adding a bit of humour to the process.

Write letters to each other:

If you want to incorporate elements of surprise into your wedding, consider writing each other letters the night before the wedding. You can read them privately, and they can include some of the things you want to express in your vows. This way, you get the best of both worlds - a surprise for your partner and a chance to familiarise yourself with your own words.

Focus on speed and tone:

How you say your vows is just as important as the words themselves. Practice varying your speed and tone to enhance the impact of your vows. For example, slow down and use a deeper voice during the more serious parts, and speed up and use a higher pitch for the lighthearted or funny moments.

Remember, the goal is not to desensitize yourself to love but to become comfortable enough with your words to deliver them with emotion and impact without breaking down into tears.

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Have a 'first look'

One way to prevent yourself from crying at your wedding is to have a first look. This is when you have a private reveal with your soon-to-be spouse before the ceremony, with the wedding photographer on hand. This way, you can experience the incredible moment of seeing each other for the first time in private, with all the emotions that come with it.

  • Plan to have your photographer capture the moment: They can snap a few pictures of you and your partner seeing each other for the first time, capturing the raw emotions and reactions.
  • Keep it intimate: The first look is a special moment between you and your partner, so consider having only the photographer present to maintain an intimate atmosphere.
  • Prepare for the moment: You might want to prepare yourself mentally for the surge of emotions that will come with seeing your partner. Take some deep breaths, focus on your breathing, and remind yourself that it's okay to feel overwhelmed.
  • Embrace the emotions: The first look is an opportunity to fully embrace your emotions in a private setting. Allow yourself to feel the joy, love, and excitement of the moment without holding back.
  • Share a kiss and a few words: After the initial reveal, share a quick kiss and exchange a few words with your partner. You can say something like, "See you at the altar," to remind yourselves that this is just the beginning of your special day together.
  • Consider a quick makeup touch-up: If needed, you can take a moment to do a quick makeup touch-up after the first look. This can help you feel more confident as you head into the ceremony.

Remember, the first look is all about creating a private, intimate moment to savour your emotions and reactions before walking down the aisle. By embracing this moment, you can help reduce the likelihood of overwhelming tears during the ceremony itself.

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Choose upbeat music

Music is a powerful tool to help manage your emotions on your wedding day. It can be the difference between a graceful dip and a sudden drop during your first dance. Opting for upbeat music can help you keep your eyes dry and your smile wide.

If you're a self-proclaimed crier, choosing upbeat music to walk down the aisle to can be a simple yet effective way to keep the tears at bay. Opt for an elegant march theme or a classical tune without too much sentimental value. This way, you're less likely to be overwhelmed by emotion and can focus on the excitement of the moment.

Music can also be a great tool to help you manage your emotions in the lead-up to the ceremony. Create a wicked playlist with upbeat, singable songs, or whatever relaxes you the most. Crank up the volume while you're getting ready, and you'll be feeling your confident best as you head towards the altar.

Additionally, you can use music as a distraction technique during the ceremony itself. If you feel your emotions starting to overwhelm you, focus on the music playing in the background. Count the beats, tap your foot, or even sing along in your head. This can help you regain control of your emotions and prevent the tears from flowing.

Remember, it's perfectly normal to feel a range of emotions on your wedding day, and it's okay to let a few tears fall. However, if you're looking to minimise crying, choosing upbeat music can be a simple yet effective strategy to help you stay smiling and present throughout the day.

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Keep well-fed and hydrated

It is very important to stay well-fed and hydrated on your wedding day. Most wedding parties are up at the crack of dawn and spend hours getting their hair and makeup done, and in the excitement and nerves, they often don't eat. You need to keep your energy levels sustained, so make sure you have a supply of fresh, healthy, low-GI food to keep you fuelled throughout the day. Think fruits, nuts, crackers, dips and plenty of water.

You don't want to be crashing from a sugar high just before you walk down the aisle, so avoid too many sweet treats. And don't use the excuse that you need to go to the toilet, as your fiancé would much rather wait a little longer for you than have you faint at the altar!

It's also a good idea to put someone in charge of making sure there is food and drink available for you, as you're likely to be busy and your mind might be elsewhere.

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Take deep breaths

Taking deep breaths is a great way to calm yourself down and prevent tears on your wedding day. Here are some tips to help you use this technique effectively:

First, it's important to practice deep breathing before your wedding day. This way, you can get used to the technique and it will be easier to do when the big day arrives. You can even practice with your partner, as this can help to ground both of you when things get overwhelming during the wedding planning process. By the time the wedding day arrives, you'll be pros at calming yourselves down!

On the day of your wedding, remember to take slow, meditative breaths throughout the ceremony and reception. Breathe deeply into your stomach and release the breath slowly. This can help to calm and focus you when you're feeling overwhelmed. You can also try a specific counting system to help you concentrate on your breathing. Here's an example:

  • Take a deep breath through your nose, counting to seven, and imagine the air expanding all sides of your torso.
  • Hold your breath for a count of three.
  • Exhale slowly and gently through your mouth for another count of seven.

Taking deep breaths is a subtle technique that you can use throughout the day, even during the ceremony. It will help ground you and provide a bit of clarity when you feel the urge to cry. So, remember to breathe and enjoy your special day!

Frequently asked questions

Practice reciting your vows beforehand, have a private first look with your photographer, and choose an upbeat song to walk down the aisle to.

Practice your first dance, sip water during toasts, and pinch yourself if you feel too emotional.

Write your own vows with a humorous twist, practice reciting them in front of a mirror, and consider doing a first look or first touch with your partner before the ceremony.

Focus on taking deep breaths, do simple math equations in your head, and push your tongue to the roof of your mouth.

Use waterproof mascara and setting powder, and consider going mascara-free with eyelash extensions.

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