Weddings: Donating Favors, Sharing Joy With Those In Need

Wedding favours are small gifts given to guests as a token of appreciation for their attendance. However, some couples are now choosing to forego this tradition and instead donate the money they would have spent on favours to charity. This can be a meaningful way to thank guests for their presence and share the spirit of kindness and giving.

If you're thinking of making a charitable donation in lieu of wedding favours, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it's important to choose a charity that is meaningful to you and not affiliated with any controversial or political organisations to avoid sparking unpleasant conversations. You may also want to avoid mentioning the donation on your invitations or save-the-dates, instead including a note in the program or wedding website. It's also crucial to respect your guests' privacy and not provide their information to the charity without their consent.

While some guests may appreciate this thoughtful gesture, others may expect a more traditional favour. Be prepared to explain your choice and remember that wedding favours are entirely optional. Ultimately, it's up to you and your partner to decide what feels right for your special day.

How to word the donation announcement

If you're choosing to make a charitable donation instead of giving out wedding favours, you might be wondering how to communicate this to your guests. Here are some ideas and suggestions on how to word the donation announcement:

• Avoid mentioning the donation on your invitations or save-the-dates. Instead, include a mention in the programme or wedding website. You can say something like: "On our special day, we've chosen to donate to a charity close to our hearts, [Charity Name], in lieu of wedding favours."
• If you want to keep it simple, a short phrase like "In lieu of favours, we have made a donation" can be used.
• You can also express gratitude to your guests and tie it to the donation: "Thank you for sharing this day with us. In recognition of your love and support, we have made a donation in your name to [Charity]."
• If you want to be more specific, mention the amount donated per guest: "In lieu of favours, we have donated $2 per guest to [Charity]."
• If you have a personal connection to the charity, share that: "In lieu of wedding favours, we've donated to [Charity] in memory of [Loved One], who passed away from [Cause that the charity supports]."
• You can also tie the donation to your wedding theme or a cause that's important to you: "As we begin our lives together, we think of those less fortunate. In lieu of favours, we've donated to [Housing Charity] to help build homes for those in need."
• If you want to keep it light-hearted, you might say: "We've chosen a special way to say thank you for sharing our day. Instead of a small favour, we've made a donation to [Charity]—we hope you'll agree that helping others is the finest gift."
• For a more informal approach, try something like: "We decided favours weren't really our thing. So, we've donated that money to [Charity] instead. Thank you for being a part of our day!"

Whether to mention the donation on invites

There are differing opinions on whether you should mention your charitable donation on your wedding invites. Some people believe that you should not mention it on your invites or save-the-dates. Instead, you can include a mention in the program or wedding website. However, others believe that it is perfectly acceptable to mention charitable donations on your invites.

If you do decide to mention it, it is important to be thoughtful with your wording. You should express why the nonprofit means so much to you and your partner, and let guests know that you appreciate any contributions they can give, big or small. It is also important to note that guests are not required to donate to your charity registry, just as they are not required to give wedding gifts.

If you are worried about how your guests will react, it may be a good idea to avoid mentioning it on your invites. You can always provide more information about your decision to donate on your wedding website or through word of mouth. This way, guests who are interested can learn more, and you can avoid any potential backlash from those who may not be on board with the idea.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to mention the donation on your invites is a personal one. Some couples may feel more comfortable being upfront about their plans, while others may prefer to keep it more low-key. There is no one-size-fits-all answer, and you should do what feels right for you and your partner.

How to avoid offending guests

If you're planning a wedding, you may be considering skipping the wedding favours and donating the money to charity instead. This is a great way to support a cause that's important to you and your partner, but it's important to do it in a way that doesn't offend your guests. Here are some tips to avoid any potential pitfalls:

• Don't mention the donation on your invitations or save-the-dates. Instead, include a mention in the program, on your wedding website, or on a small sign at the reception. This way, you can still let your guests know about your charitable contribution without it coming across as a self-congratulatory gesture.
• Avoid donating to controversial or political organisations. Keep the focus on the celebration and choose a charity that is likely to be well-received by your guests. Organisations that support the arts, help animals, or assist children are usually safe choices.
• Don't use your guests' names or contact information without their consent. While it may be tempting to honour your guests by including their names on the donation, this could compromise their privacy and lead to unwanted solicitations from the charity in the future. Simply donate "in honour of your wedding guests" to avoid any issues.
• Be prepared to explain your choice. Some traditional guests may not understand your decision to forgo favours, but most will be receptive if you explain your reasoning. Let them know that you wanted to make a difference and support a cause close to your heart.
• Remember that favours are optional. If the idea of donating to charity in lieu of favours is causing stress or controversy, you can always skip them altogether. Your guests will likely not mind, and you can focus on other aspects of your wedding that will make the day memorable and enjoyable for everyone.
• Consider combining charity and favours. If you want to include your guests in your charitable contribution, you can offer favours that support a charity. For example, you could give cookies with stickers indicating that a donation has been made to the charity in honour of your guests. This way, your guests receive a token of appreciation while still contributing to a good cause.

How much to donate

Deciding how much to donate instead of giving wedding favours can be tricky. Firstly, it's important to remember that wedding favours are not obligatory, so you can choose to skip them altogether. If you do want to make a charitable donation instead, there are a few things to consider.

Firstly, it's good to be mindful of your guests. While some may be happy for you to donate to a charity of your choice, others may be more traditional and expect a small gift. You could prepare to explain your choice to these guests, or even combine a small favour with your donation. For example, you could give guests a plantable paper heart, which will grow into wildflowers, along with a note explaining that you have also donated to charity.

The amount you donate is up to you, but it's worth noting that the average cost of wedding favours is around $2-3 per guest. So, if you have 150 guests, you would typically spend $300-$450 on wedding favours. You could use this as a guide for your donation amount, but it's also important to consider your overall wedding budget. Some couples allocate 3-5% of their total wedding budget to wedding favours, so this could be another way to calculate your donation.

Finally, it's a good idea to choose a charity that is meaningful to you and your partner. This could be a local hospital, animal shelter, or any other organisation that holds a special place in your heart.

How to avoid linking guests' names to the donation

If you want to make a donation instead of buying wedding favours, that's totally fine. However, it's important to protect your guests' identities and not hand out any of their personal information to the charity. Here are some tips to avoid linking guests' names to the donation:

• Do not release individual names or contact information of your guests to the charity without obtaining prior approval from your guests.
• Make the donation in honour of your guests without releasing their names.
• Avoid placing donation cards at each table setting or creating place cards with your guests' names linked to the donation.
• If you want to announce the donation at your wedding, opt for a discreet sign in a high-traffic area, such as the cake table or guest book table.
• Avoid mentioning each guest's name in conjunction with the donation, as this gives the impression that you have publicly linked their name to a charity they may not support.
• If you choose to donate to multiple charities, refrain from specifying which guests are linked to which charities.
• Instead of asking for donations, provide small favours such as edible treats with a ribbon and card indicating the name of the charity you are supporting.

Frequently asked questions