Wedding vows are an integral part of the wedding ceremony, where the couple exchanges promises to spend the rest of their lives together. While some couples opt for traditional vows based on their religion or culture, others prefer to write personalised messages to their future spouse. Writing your own wedding vows can be a daunting task, but it is a meaningful way to express your love and make promises for the future. Here are some tips to help you get started:
- Start early and give yourself enough time to brainstorm and edit your vows.
- Discuss with your partner whether you want to write your vows together or separately, and whether you want to share them before the ceremony.
- Think about the structure of your vows and how you want them to fit into the ceremony. You can use traditional vows as a starting point and personalise them to make them your own.
- Reflect on your relationship and think about what makes your partner special. Write down memorable moments you have shared and the promises you want to make.
- Keep your vows concise and aim for around one minute or less per person.
- Practise reciting your vows out loud to improve your delivery and check for any tongue twisters or run-on sentences.
- Remember that your vows should sound like you and reflect your personality. You can include humour, quotes, or inside jokes, but avoid making your vows too personal or embarrassing.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Be romantic | "You are my sun, my moon, and all of my stars." |
Be humorous | "I promise to always pretend to like your favorite TV show, even if I don’t." |
Be simple and powerful | "I call you 'My Megan' because you are my everything." |
Be religious | "I love you, and I thank the Lord for the love that has bound our hearts and live together in the spiritual fellowship of marriage." |
Be creative | "You are the harmony to my melody. I vow to keep our love song playing." |
Be traditional | "I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be my lawfully wedded [husband/wife], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part." |
What You'll Learn
- Make it personal: Include inside jokes, shared experiences, and specific promises that reflect your unique relationship
- Keep it concise: Aim for vows that are around 1-2 minutes long to hold your guests' attention and keep the ceremony flowing
- Be authentic: Write from the heart, using your own words and experiences to express your love and commitment
- Set the tone: Match the mood of your vows to your personalities and the overall theme of your wedding
- Seek inspiration: Draw ideas from traditional vows, poetry, literature, movies, or songs to get your creative juices flowing
Make it personal: Include inside jokes, shared experiences, and specific promises that reflect your unique relationship
When it comes to making your wedding vows personal, it's all about reflecting your unique relationship and sharing details that celebrate your love story. Here are some ideas to make your vows special:
- Inside Jokes: Include inside jokes or light-hearted moments that are unique to your relationship. For example, "I vow to always let you have the last piece of pizza" or "I promise to laugh at all your jokes, even the bad ones." These light-hearted moments will bring a smile to your partner's face and add a touch of humour to your vows.
- Shared Experiences: Recount romantic stories or memorable moments that hold a special place in your relationship. It could be the first time you met, a funny story from your first date, or how you knew your partner was "the one." Sharing these stories will make your vows more intimate and engaging for your guests.
- Specific Promises: Make promises that are tailored to your partner and your relationship. For instance, "I vow to be your protector and confidante, responsible for making sure your every need is met" or "I promise to be your safe haven in this crazy world." Think about what matters most to your partner and what specific ways you can support and love them.
- Shared Adventures: If you and your partner love adventures and exploring new places, include this in your vows. For example, "I am anxious to continue our many adventures and excursions together... exploring the best national parks, traversing the globe, and building a home together." This adds a sense of excitement and shared dreams for your future together.
- Shared Interests: Incorporate your shared interests, hobbies, or passions into your vows. For instance, if you both love food and trying new restaurants, you could say, "I love our shared obsession with late-night snacks and how you helped me discover pizza that's better than Costco pizza." This showcases the unique bond you share.
- Specific Details: Include specific details about your partner and your relationship. This could be as simple as mentioning their smile, their sense of humour, or the way they make you feel. For example, "You make me smile whenever I think of you. I promise to make you smile as much as you make me smile" or "I promise to be your safe harbour and your greatest adventure." These specific details will make your vows heartfelt and personalised.
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Keep it concise: Aim for vows that are around 1-2 minutes long to hold your guests' attention and keep the ceremony flowing
Wedding vows are the promises you make to your partner on your wedding day. They are traditionally first read by the groom, but the order can be changed. The ideal length for wedding vows is 2-3 minutes, with a maximum of 4 minutes. This length allows for personalisation without going overboard and losing your guests' attention.
- Focus on quality over quantity. Make sure that what you say resonates with your partner.
- Avoid inside jokes. While it is nice to include a story or two, pick ones that wedding guests will be able to relate to.
- Focus on the promises. Vows are the promises you make to your partner, so it is important to voice the commitments you want to stick to.
- Keep a time limit in mind. The longer the vows, the longer the ceremony.
- Practice beforehand. It is a good idea to practice your vows in front of a mirror or a trusted friend.
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Be authentic: Write from the heart, using your own words and experiences to express your love and commitment
Writing your wedding vows is a daunting task, but it's a chance to tell your partner exactly how you feel. Here are some tips to help you write your vows from the heart:
Be Yourself
It's important that your vows come from your heart and reflect your individual voice. Don't try to be too poetic or serious if that's not who you are. Be authentic, and your partner will love your vows because they came from you.
Start Early
Don't leave writing your vows until the last minute. Give yourself time to write, revise, and take breaks. Starting early will also give you time to gather inspiration and feedback from trusted friends or family members.
Draw Inspiration from Your Relationship
Use your relationship as inspiration for your vows. Think about the things you love about your partner, your favourite memories together, inside jokes, and how your partner has changed your life. You can also draw inspiration from keepsakes, letters, gifts, and other objects that hold special meaning.
Include Personal Stories
Recount romantic stories, funny anecdotes, or challenging times you've overcome together. Sharing personal stories will make your vows more meaningful and engaging for your partner and your guests.
Make Promises
In addition to sharing your love and appreciation, make concrete promises that you intend to keep. These could be serious or lighthearted, such as promising to kill spiders or never keep score.
Keep It Short and Sweet
Your vows don't have to be long to be meaningful. Aim for around 200-250 words or about 1-2 minutes when read aloud. This will help keep your guests engaged and ensure your vows pack an emotional punch.
Be Careful with Inside Jokes
While it's okay to include inside jokes, make sure they're understandable to your guests. You don't want to embarrass your partner or leave your guests feeling confused.
Speak from the Heart
Your vows should reflect your deep personal feelings for your partner. Be honest, vulnerable, and authentic. It's okay to show your emotions—tears and laughter are all part of the magic of wedding vows.
"You are my best friend, my soulmate, and my greatest adventure. I vow to always see the best in you, in times of hardship and prosperity. I promise to dance with you in the kitchen and under the stars. You are my favourite love story, and I vow to keep writing our chapters together."
"You have made me the happiest man in the world today by agreeing to share your life with me. I promise to cherish and respect you. I promise to care for you and protect you. I promise to comfort you and encourage you. I promise to be with you for all of eternity."
"I promise to be your navigator, best friend, and wife. I promise to honour, love, and cherish you through all life's adventures. Wherever we go, we'll go together. You make me laugh, you make me think, and above all, you make me happy."
"I promise to be your constant companion and your greatest admirer. I vow to always see the magic in our everyday moments. I promise to build a life of love, laughter, happiness, and endless adventures with you. I vow to be your biggest fan and your honest truth-teller when you need it."
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Set the tone: Match the mood of your vows to your personalities and the overall theme of your wedding
When it comes to wedding vows, there are many ways to match the mood to your personalities and the overall theme of your wedding. Here are some tips to help you set the right tone:
- Discuss expectations with your partner: Before writing your vows, talk to your partner about what you both want to include. Agree on the length, timing, tone, and level of personalization. This will ensure you're both on the same page and create a cohesive set of vows that complement each other.
- Consider your wedding theme: If you have a specific wedding theme, such as rustic, bohemian, or Halloween, you can incorporate elements of that theme into your vows. For example, if you're having a Halloween wedding, you might add a touch of gothic romance to your vows.
- Reflect your personalities: Inject your vows with your unique personalities. If you're a fun-loving couple, add a touch of humor to your vows. If you're more serious and romantic, focus on heartfelt and poetic language.
- Incorporate your interests: Think about your shared hobbies and interests, and weave them into your vows. For example, if you're both avid readers, you might include a quote from your favorite book.
- Use appropriate language: The language you use in your vows should match the overall tone of your wedding. If your wedding is religious, you might include religious phrases or prayers. If it's more lighthearted and casual, feel free to be more relaxed and humorous in your vows.
- Seek inspiration: Draw inspiration from various sources, such as movies, books, songs, or even inside jokes between you and your partner. This will help you personalize your vows and make them more meaningful.
- Keep it authentic: Ultimately, your vows should be a genuine reflection of your love and commitment. Don't worry about making them perfect or overly poetic. Focus on expressing your true feelings, and your vows will be unique and special.
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Seek inspiration: Draw ideas from traditional vows, poetry, literature, movies, or songs to get your creative juices flowing
There are many ways to seek inspiration when writing your wedding vows. Here are some ideas drawn from traditional vows, poetry, literature, movies, and songs to get your creative juices flowing:
Traditional Vows
Traditional wedding vows are a great place to start for inspiration. These vows are often based on religious or cultural beliefs and can provide a solid framework for your own vows. They typically include promises of love, support, fidelity, and commitment. Here's an example of traditional Christian wedding vows:
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [husband/wife], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."
Poetry
Incorporating quotes from famous love poems into your wedding vows can add a touch of romance and elegance. Here are some popular choices:
- "How Do I Love Thee?" by Elizabeth Barrett Browning: "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways/I love thee to the depth and breadth and height/My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight/For the ends of being and ideal grace."
- "I Carry Your Heart With Me" by E. E. Cummings: "I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)/I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)."
- "Sonnet 116" by William Shakespeare: "Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks/But bears it out even to the edge of doom."
- "A Moment of Happiness" by Rumi: "A moment of happiness/you and I sitting on the verandah/apparently two, but one in soul, you and I/We feel the flowing water of life here, you and I, with the garden's beauty, and the birds singing."
Literature
Literary classics can provide some of the most exquisite expressions of love. Here are some examples to inspire your vows:
- "Les Miserables" by Victor Hugo: "Love participates of the soul itself...It is a point of fire that exists within us, which is immortal and infinite, which nothing can confine, and which nothing can extinguish."
- "Wuthering Heights" by Emily Brontë: "He’s more myself than I am...my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger."
- "Captain Corelli’s Mandolin" by Louis de Bernieres: "Love is not breathlessness...it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being ‘in love,’ which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being ‘in love’ has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident."
Movies
Watching movies is another great way to get inspired for your wedding vows. Here are some memorable movie vows to draw ideas from:
- "The Princess Bride": "Do I love you? My God, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches."
- "Grey's Anatomy" (Meredith and Derek): "To love each other, even when we hate each other. No running—ever. Nobody walks out no matter what happens. Take care when old, senile, smelly. This is forever."
- "The Big Bang Theory" (Penny and Leonard): "Penny, we are made of particles that have existed since the moment the universe began. I like to think those atoms traveled 14 billion years through time and space to create us so that we could be together and make each other whole."
Songs
Music can be a powerful source of inspiration for your wedding vows. Here are some popular song lyrics that could be incorporated:
- "All of Me" by John Legend: "Cause all of me, loves all of you. Love your curves and all your edges, all your imperfections. Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you."
- "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran: "Well, I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know. She shares my dreams; I hope that someday I’ll share her home...Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms. Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song."
- "Make You Feel My Love" by Bob Dylan: "I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue, I'd go crawling down the avenue. And oh, there's nothing that I wouldn't do, to make you feel my love."
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Frequently asked questions
Two to three minutes is a good length for wedding vows. This length allows for some personality without going overboard.
Start by jotting down your thoughts about your partner and your relationship. You can also look to examples, both real and fictional, for inspiration.
Your vows should include an expression of your affection, a vision for your future together, anecdotes, and solid promises.
Take a deep breath and avoid stressing about your wedding vows. Focus on the commitments you want to make, rather than trying to summarise your entire relationship.
Yes, you can ask a friend or family member to give you feedback on your vows. You can also hire a professional vow-writing company to help you.