Planning A Wedding: A Guide To The Perfect Day

Planning a wedding can be a daunting task, but with a clear roadmap, it can be a fun and exciting process. Here is a step-by-step guide to help you plan your dream wedding:

- Define Your Wedding Vision: Start by identifying the type of celebration you want, including the overall theme, formality, location, season, and guest count. This will help guide your planning process and ensure that your wedding reflects your and your partner's personalities and values.

- Set Your Wedding Budget: Determining your budget is crucial before making any major decisions. Discuss financial contributions with family members and create a realistic budget that you're comfortable with. This will guide all your subsequent choices.

- Purchase a Wedding Planning Book or App: Consider investing in a wedding planning book or downloading a planning app to help you stay organized and on track. These tools can provide valuable checklists, timelines, and tips to make the process less overwhelming.

- Research and Book Your Wedding Venue: The venue is one of the most important aspects of your wedding, as it sets the tone and affects many other decisions. Research venues that align with your vision and budget, tour your favourites, and book your dream location.

- Choose Your Wedding Date: While you may have a preferred date in mind, keep in mind that weekends and popular venues fill up quickly. Be flexible and consider alternative dates to increase your chances of securing your desired venue.

- Build Your Guest List: Creating your guest list can be challenging, but it's crucial to managing your budget and venue capacity. Make a list of everyone you'd like to invite, prioritize must-have guests, and be mindful of family dynamics and budget constraints.

- Choose Your Wedding Party: Select your bridesmaids, groomsmen, and other members of your wedding party. These are the people who will stand by your side throughout the planning process and on your big day, so choose wisely and ask them early on.

- Create a Wedding Website and Hashtag: A wedding website is a great way to keep your guests informed and organized. Include important details such as dates, locations, travel information, and accommodation options. Creating a wedding hashtag will also encourage guests to share their photos and experiences on social media.

- Research and Book Vendors: Start researching and booking vendors such as photographers, caterers, florists, and entertainment. Prioritize vendors who can only work on specific dates and be mindful of your budget when making selections.

- Select Your Wedding Attire: Finding the perfect wedding attire is an exciting part of the planning process. Start shopping early, especially if you need to special order or alter your outfit. Don't forget to consider attire for your wedding party as well.

- Send Save-the-Dates and Invitations: Let your guests know about your wedding plans by sending save-the-dates and formal invitations. Send save-the-dates 6-10 months in advance, followed by invitations 6-12 weeks before the wedding. Be sure to include important details and request RSVPs to manage your guest list effectively.

- Choose Your Food and Beverage Options: Whether you're working with a caterer or your venue provides food and beverage services, create a menu that caters to a variety of dietary preferences and restrictions. Don't be afraid to get creative and offer options beyond the traditional sit-down dinner.

- Create Your Wedding Registry: Think beyond the traditional registry items and consider what you truly want and need as a couple. Include a mix of price points to accommodate different budgets, and don't forget to include your registry information on your wedding website.

- Plan Pre and Post-Wedding Events: Don't forget to plan the events surrounding your big day, such as the rehearsal dinner, bachelor/bachelorette parties, honeymoon, and after-party. These events add to the celebration and provide opportunities for more memories with your loved ones.

- Obtain a Marriage License: Don't forget the legal aspect of getting married! Research the requirements for obtaining a marriage license in your area, and make sure to allow enough time to complete the necessary paperwork.

- Finalize Details and Touch Base with Vendors: In the weeks leading up to your wedding, check in with your vendors, confirm all the details, and ensure they have everything they need. This will help reduce stress and last-minute surprises.

- Enjoy Your Wedding Day: Remember to delegate tasks to your wedding party or family members on the day of your wedding. Relax, savour the moments, and enjoy the celebration with your loved ones.

Budgeting and saving

Figure Out Who's Contributing

The first step in creating your wedding budget is to find out who will be contributing financially. Traditionally, the bride's family has shouldered most of the wedding costs, but nowadays, it's common for both families and the couple themselves to chip in. Have open and honest conversations with your families and each other about how much each party is willing and able to contribute. It's essential to approach these conversations respectfully and be prepared to hear "no". Once you have a sense of how much financial assistance you'll receive, you can focus on your own contribution.

Estimate Your Guest Count

The cost of a wedding is largely dependent on the number of guests. The more guests you invite, the bigger the venue and the more food and alcohol you'll need to provide, which are typically two of the biggest wedding expenses. Being strategic about your guest list is an effective way to cut down on costs.

Choose Your Non-Negotiables

You and your partner will likely have different opinions on which aspects of the wedding are worth splurging on. It's important to discuss and prioritize what's most important to each of you. You can then allocate a larger portion of your budget to those items and spend less on the things that aren't as important to you.

Be Mindful of Hidden Costs

There are many hidden costs associated with weddings that can quickly blow your budget. These include setup and breakdown charges for the venue, cutting fees for the cake, tips for vendors, and more. Educate yourself about these hidden costs, and do your research on the prices in your desired geographical area and season to avoid any nasty surprises.

Save on Venue, Food, and Drinks

The venue and catering typically make up a significant portion of the wedding budget. To save money, consider a county-run facility or a historic manor, which are often beautiful and more affordable. Getting married at home or in a backyard is another cost-effective option, especially for micro weddings.

When it comes to food, buffets are usually the cheapest catering option, followed by family-style and then plated. Food trucks or serving your favourite foods, like tacos or pizza, can also be more economical and add a personal touch.

For drinks, instead of an open bar, you can offer just beer and wine, or have the open bar only during cocktail hour. Buying your alcohol in bulk, if your venue allows, can also help you save.

Shop Smart for Wedding Attire and Decor

Wedding attire is another significant expense. If your dress or suit isn't your top priority, consider buying something more affordable or renting to free up funds for other aspects of the wedding.

For decorations, simple DIY options or repurposing items from the ceremony to the reception can help reduce costs. Using in-season flowers and taking advantage of built-in décor at your venue, like an existing arch or garden, can also keep expenses down.

Save on Music and Entertainment

Live music can be expensive. Opting for a DJ instead of a band can save you several thousand dollars.

Other Money-Saving Tips:

• Use in-season flowers to reduce floral costs.
• Go paperless with digital invitations and RSVPs, and send video thank-yous instead of cards.
• Consider a weekday wedding, as venue rates are typically cheaper on Fridays, Sundays, and weekdays.
• Shrink your guest list – fewer guests mean lower food, beverage, rental, and service staff costs.

Choosing a date

• Consider the season and month you would like to get married. This will help you narrow down potential dates and also guide your venue search. For example, if you're planning a winter wedding, you'll want to look for venues that offer indoor spaces or have adequate heating.
• Be flexible with your date choices. While you may have a specific date in mind, it's important to have a few alternative dates in case your preferred venue or vendors are not available. This will give you more options and increase your chances of finding the perfect venue.
• Think about travel and holiday schedules. If you're planning a destination wedding or have guests travelling from out of town, consider choosing a date that falls outside of peak travel seasons or popular holiday periods. This can help reduce travel costs for your guests and make it easier for them to attend.
• Discuss your date preferences with your partner and close family members. It's important that your wedding date works for the people who matter most to you. Consider their work schedules, prior commitments, and any other factors that may impact their availability.
• Research popular wedding dates and try to avoid them if possible. Popular dates, such as Saturdays during the summer months, tend to be more expensive and competitive. Choosing a date during the off-season or on a less popular day of the week can help you save money and increase vendor availability.
• Take into account any cultural or religious traditions that may influence your date choice. If you're incorporating specific cultural or religious elements into your wedding, make sure to consider any important dates or festivals that may impact your planning.
• Be mindful of any personal milestones or special occasions. You may want to choose a date that coincides with a significant anniversary, birthday, or other special event in your life. This can add a extra layer of meaning and significance to your wedding day.
• Consider the weather patterns and climate of your chosen location. If you're planning an outdoor wedding, pay attention to the typical weather conditions during your desired season. You may want to avoid dates that are prone to extreme weather events or that may be uncomfortably hot or cold for your guests.
• Be mindful of any conflicting events or activities. Check for any major events, conferences, or festivals that may be happening in your desired location during your chosen dates. These events could impact hotel availability and pricing, as well as traffic and transportation options.
• Book your venue as early as possible. Once you've narrowed down your date options, start researching and visiting potential venues. The earlier you book your venue, the more likely you are to secure your desired date. Venues tend to fill up quickly, especially during peak wedding seasons.
• Be prepared to be flexible and adapt. Wedding planning can be unpredictable, and your desired date may not always be available. Stay open-minded and be willing to consider alternative dates or venues if necessary. Remember, the most important thing is that you're marrying the person you love!

Selecting a venue

• Guest count: How many people do you plan to invite? The venue should be able to accommodate your guest count comfortably.
• Budget: How much are you willing to spend on the venue? This will narrow down your options and help you choose a venue that fits within your budget.
• Location: Do you want a local venue or a destination wedding? Consider the travel time and cost for you and your guests.
• Style: What style of venue do you prefer? A barn, a ballroom, a garden, or something else? Choose a venue that aligns with your wedding theme and vision.
• Availability: Is your preferred venue available on your desired date? It's important to be flexible and have a few potential dates in mind when searching for venues.
• Services offered: Does the venue offer ceremony and reception space, or will you need to book separate locations? Some venues offer all-inclusive packages, while others require you to bring in external vendors.
• Restrictions: Are there any restrictions or requirements that the venue has? For example, is there a minimum guest count or budget requirement? Are there any noise restrictions or decor restrictions?
• Parking and transportation: Consider the venue's parking situation and whether you'll need to provide transportation for your guests.

Once you've considered these factors, it's time to start researching and visiting venues. Read reviews, ask for recommendations, and schedule site visits to get a feel for the space. Don't forget to read the contract carefully and ask any questions you have before signing.

Creating a guest list

Step 1: Decide on the number of guests

The number of guests you can invite will depend on your budget and the capacity of your venue. A small wedding usually has around 50-75 guests, the average wedding has 120-150, and a large wedding has 200 or more. If your parents are contributing financially, find out how much they are willing to spend. You should also get some quotes from local caterers to see how much the reception will cost per person.

Step 2: Divide the guest list

There are several ways to do this fairly. You could divide the list into thirds, with one-third for the couple, one-third for the bride's guests, and one-third for the groom's guests. Alternatively, you could divide the list into fourths, giving each set of parents a quarter of the list. Another option is to give half the list to the couple, and a quarter to each set of parents.

Step 3: Decide whether to invite children

Some people prefer not to invite children to their wedding, while others feel that a wedding is a family event. If you don't want children at the ceremony, you could invite them to the reception only. Understand that some guests may choose not to attend if their children are not invited.

Step 4: Decide on plus-ones

You will need to decide whether to allow single guests to bring a date. If you are short on space, you could adopt the American phrase "no ring, no bring" and only allow married or engaged partners. However, if a friend is in a long-term relationship, it would be rude not to invite their partner.

Step 5: Prioritise your guests

Create a list of people you absolutely want to invite, such as family members and close friends. Then make a backup list of people you would like to invite if you have space and budget. You can also divide your guests into groups based on their significance to you, with immediate family and the wedding party at the top, followed by extended family, work colleagues, etc.

Step 6: Establish rules with your family

Your parents may have their own ideas about who to invite. Let them know what kind of wedding you want and how many guests they are allowed to invite. Be firm about your boundaries and make sure they understand that they need to follow these rules. For example, you could say that only people you have spoken to in the last year can be invited, or that friends of the couple take priority over friends of the parents.

Step 7: Finalise the list

Before sending out your invitations, make sure you are not inviting more people than your maximum. If you need to cut guests, start with the lowest-priority guests and work your way up.

Picking a theme

Choosing a Theme

There are endless wedding theme possibilities, from modern to vintage, rustic to whimsical, and everything in between. Your wedding theme can reflect your personal style and preferences, elements of your relationship, the season, or your venue.

If you're unsure which theme to choose, consider the following:

• Your vision for the wedding: Are you imagining a candlelit evening in a mansion, or a barefoot ceremony on a tropical beach?
• Your guest experience: What kind of atmosphere do you want to create for your guests? Do you want a fun, casual dance party or a formal, elegant celebration?
• Your interests and hobbies: Are you bookworms, movie buffs, or music lovers? Incorporate your passions into your theme.
• Your heritage and culture: Include meaningful cultural or familial customs and traditions that are special to you.
• The season and venue: Take inspiration from the time of year and your chosen venue, whether it's a chic barn, a hotel, or a beach.

Examples of Wedding Themes

• Literary theme: Use book page table runners, an archway made of books, and book-related seating charts.
• Lord of the Rings theme: Create a gentle LOTR aesthetic with music from the films, rustic details, and a natural, cozy atmosphere.
• Disco theme: Channel the funky colours and bold graphics of the '70s with disco balls, neon signs, and colourful confetti.
• Autumn theme: Incorporate dark red and orange colours, artificial autumn leaves, and autumn fruits and pines for centrepieces.
• Celtic woodland theme: Grow your own wildflowers and incorporate Celtic elements from your heritage, such as family tartans.
• Bridgerton/Regency theme: Opt for palatial settings, lavish linens, ball gowns, and ample florals for a regal, elegant affair.
• Alternative/non-traditional theme: Rethink the classic wedding by incorporating unexpected colour palettes, creative decor, and unique personal touches.
• Bohemian theme: Go for a free-spirited, earthy aesthetic with dried florals, pampas grass, rattan, macramé, and wood elements.
• Botanical/garden party theme: Create a tranquil, refreshing atmosphere with greenery, vines, trees, and garlands.
• Great Gatsby/Roaring '20s theme: Combine modern and glamorous elements with a '20s twist, including black and gold details, luxe sparkles, and robust fonts.
• Tropical/destination wedding theme: Bring exotic foliage and vibrant hues to your event, with hibiscus, anthurium, and palm leaves, paired with woven elements and fruity cocktails.
• Nautical theme: Create a coastal feel with striped linens, seashell accents, knotted ropes, and brass anchors, whether you're by the seaside or bringing the ocean to you.

Remember, your wedding theme should reflect your personality and style as a couple. Get creative, have fun with it, and don't be afraid to think outside the box!

Frequently asked questions