Keep Your Wedding Intimate: Tips For A Small Guest List

Planning a wedding guest list can be a daunting task, especially if you're aiming for an intimate celebration. The number of guests you invite will depend on several factors, such as budget, venue size, and personal preference. To keep your guest list small, consider limiting plus-ones to only long-term partners, making the wedding adults-only, and only inviting immediate family and close friends. It's also important to be upfront with friends and family about your limited guest list and to stick to your decisions to avoid hurt feelings.

Limit plus-ones

Limiting plus-ones is a great way to keep your wedding guest list small. Here are some tips to help you navigate this sensitive topic:

• Set Clear Criteria: Establish clear and consistent criteria for who gets a plus-one. For example, you could offer plus-ones only to guests who are married, engaged, or in a long-term relationship. This ensures fairness and reduces the risk of hurt feelings among your guests.
• Address Invitations Specifically: When addressing your invitations, be explicit about who is invited. Address the envelope to the specific person by name, rather than "and guest." This makes it clear that plus-ones are not included.
• Specify Number of Seats: On your RSVP cards, indicate the number of seats reserved for each guest. For example, you can write, "___ seat(s) have been reserved in your honour." This prevents guests from assuming they have a plus-one or adding additional guests.
• Communicate Directly: If a guest RSVPs with an unexpected plus-one, contact them directly. Call or speak to them in person to let them know that you are unable to accommodate their additional guest. Be kind and polite, and explain that your venue or budget constraints limit the number of guests.
• Be Mindful of Singles: If you have guests who are travelling or who won't know many people at the wedding, consider allowing them a plus-one. Seat single guests with friendly and outgoing couples to create a comfortable and communal atmosphere.
• Be Consistent: Ensure that your wedding party members are treated consistently regarding plus-ones. If one member of the bridal party receives a plus-one, extend the same courtesy to the others. It's a small token of appreciation for their time and support.
• Have a Clear Website FAQ: Use your wedding website to address frequently asked questions, including plus-one policies. Clearly state whether guests are allowed to bring plus-ones or not, and provide a polite explanation. For example, "Due to limited venue space, we unfortunately cannot accommodate plus-ones beyond those named on the wedding invitation."

Only invite immediate family

If you're looking to keep your wedding guest list small, one option is to only invite immediate family. This can be a great way to keep numbers low while still celebrating your special day with your closest loved ones. Here are some tips to help you navigate this approach:

Define "Immediate Family"

First, it's important to define what constitutes "immediate family". Typically, this includes parents, siblings, grandparents, and sometimes aunts, uncles, and cousins. As a couple, you should decide who you consider to be your immediate family and communicate this clearly to your families.

Communicate Your Vision

It's essential to communicate your vision for an intimate wedding with your families early on. They may have different expectations, especially if they are contributing financially, so it's crucial to set clear boundaries and manage their expectations. Be honest and upfront about your plans, and emphasise that your decision is not a reflection of how much you value your relationship with them.

Consider Practicalities

Even with a small guest list, sending out invitations is still a good idea. It adds a special touch and ensures your guests feel valued. You can also include details such as the time, location, and any other relevant information. Consider using a wedding website or a digital invite, which can be a more convenient and cost-effective option.

Manage RSVPs

When it comes to RSVPs, it's a good idea to give your family members a deadline to respond by. This will help you finalise numbers for your venue and catering. It's also a chance to confirm any dietary requirements or other special requests they may have.

Be Mindful of Family Dynamics

Be mindful of family dynamics and try to treat all sides of the family equally to avoid hurt feelings. For example, if you invite your parents, be sure to invite your partner's parents as well. This can help prevent any misunderstandings or tension within the family.

Plan for Post-Wedding Celebrations

Finally, consider planning a more casual get-together after the wedding to include those who weren't invited. This could be a low-key party or dinner, giving everyone a chance to celebrate with you and your new spouse.

Remember, it's your special day, and you should feel empowered to celebrate it in a way that feels right for you and your partner. By following these tips, you can navigate the guest list process with ease and ensure your immediate family is part of your intimate celebration.

Keep it to close friends

Keeping your wedding guest list small and focused on close friends can be a great way to ensure your wedding is intimate and affordable. Here are some tips to help you keep your guest list limited to close friends:

Define "Close Friends"

Start by defining what "close friends" means to you and your partner. This could include people you regularly spend time with, those you feel strongly about sharing your special day with, or those you've kept in touch with over the years.

Prioritize Close Friends Over Acquaintances

When creating your guest list, prioritize close friends over acquaintances or people you feel obligated to invite. This could include old friends you haven't spoken to in years, extended family members you're not close with, or neighbours you don't know well. Remember, your wedding is about celebrating with the people who matter most to you.

Be Selective with Plus Ones

If possible, limit plus ones to only those in long-term, committed relationships. This will help keep your guest list focused on close friends, rather than acquaintances or strangers. If you're worried about hurting feelings, consider creating a "plus-one rule" that applies consistently across the board, such as only allowing plus ones for partners your guests have been with for more than six months.

Manage Expectations

Be upfront and honest with friends and family about your limited guest list. Explain that your wedding is going to be small and intimate, and that you're focusing on close friends only. This will help manage expectations and avoid any hurt feelings.

Stick to Your Guns

Remember, it's your wedding, and you can invite whoever you choose. Don't feel pressured to invite people out of guilt or obligation. If someone isn't a close friend, you don't have to invite them. It's as simple as that!

Consider a Child-Free Wedding

If you're comfortable with the idea, specifying that your wedding is adults-only is a great way to keep your guest list small and focused on close friends. This will help reduce numbers while giving parents a night off to celebrate without their children.

By following these tips, you can keep your wedding guest list small and intimate, surrounded by the close friends who matter most to you.

Make it adults-only

Making your wedding adults-only is a great way to keep your guest list small. Here are some tips to help you navigate this approach:

Communicate Your Wishes

Let your parents and other contributing parties know about your plans for an intimate, adults-only event. They will likely have their own list of people they would like to attend, so it's important to set expectations early on. Ask them to limit their list and consider giving them a specific number of invitees. Sharing your plan of action for how you're narrowing down your list may also be helpful for them.

Book a Venue with Limited Capacity

Choosing a venue with a limited capacity will help you stick to a smaller guest list. Opt for venues that cater to small weddings, ensuring your event feels cosy rather than rattling around in a large space.

Make it a Destination Wedding

Destination weddings are typically expected to involve a smaller, more exclusive group of guests. This is a great option if you want to keep your wedding adults-only and intimate.

Be Clear in Your Invitations

When deciding to make your wedding adults-only, it's important to be clear in your invitations. The best way to indicate this is by only writing the names of adults on the invitation envelope and insert. You can also note the number of seats reserved for each invitee to make it crystal clear. Avoid writing "adults-only" on the invitations, as this is not considered proper etiquette.

Offer Alternatives for Children

If you feel bad about not including children, you can offer alternatives. For example, you could invite children to your engagement party or rehearsal dinner. Alternatively, you can organise and hire a babysitter to watch the kids at a separate location during the wedding.

Be Consistent

If you decide to go kid-free, it's important to be consistent and not allow some guests to bring their children while excluding others. Favouritism can cause hurt feelings and grudges.

Be Prepared for Pushback

Some guests may request a plus-one or ask why they can't bring their children. Be prepared to kindly explain your situation and stick to your decision, whether it's due to space, financial constraints, or personal preference.

Keep Your List Private

Once you finalise your guest list, keep it between you and your partner. Sharing it with others may lead to many questions and expectations, especially if your list is small. If you do show your list to others, set boundaries and let them know that your list is final.

Don't Overthink Reactions

Remember, you are not obligated to invite anyone you don't want at your wedding. If you're not thrilled at the thought of someone being part of your special day, they don't need to be there. Chances are, if you're not close, they won't be too offended.

Reach Out to Anyone Feeling Snubbed

If anyone ends up feeling snubbed, take the time to reassure them that it's nothing personal. Explain that you have budget or venue capacity constraints, and you would have loved to invite them otherwise.

Sticking to a small wedding guest list may seem challenging, but with clear communication and poise, you can confidently explain your preferences to your loved ones.

Be honest about your budget

Being honest about your budget is a crucial step in the wedding planning process. It will impact every decision and purchase you make, so it's important to be realistic and thorough when setting your budget. Here are some tips to help you create an honest and effective budget for your wedding:

Determine Your Financial Contributors

Start by identifying who will be contributing financially to your wedding. This may include you, your spouse-to-be, family members, or close friends. It's important to have clear communication with everyone involved to understand their expectations and how much they are willing to contribute. Be sure to ask if they have any specific opinions on how their money should be spent. For example, they may want to allocate their contribution to a specific aspect of the wedding, like florals or catering.

Understand Your Financial Situation

When setting your budget, it's crucial to consider your financial situation and what you can actually afford. Factor in your daily expenses, such as rent or mortgage, car payments, or debt repayments. Also, think about future costs, such as a down payment on a home, medical expenses, or other weddings you plan to attend. By considering these factors, you can create a more realistic budget and avoid overextending yourself.

Identify Your Priorities

Discuss with your partner what is most important to both of you for the wedding day. This may include specific vendors, a particular venue, a designer gown, or a certain type of entertainment. Understanding your priorities will help you allocate your budget accordingly and make compromises where necessary. Be honest about what you truly value, as this will guide your spending decisions.

Research Wedding Costs

If you've never planned a wedding before, it can be challenging to anticipate all the associated costs. Do your research to gain a better understanding of the typical expenses involved. Consider factors such as the type of wedding you want, the time of year, the location, and the number of guests, as these will impact your budget significantly. Creating a comprehensive breakdown of expenses will help you allocate funds effectively.

Be Flexible and Make Compromises

Remember that your budget is a living document, and it's okay to make adjustments along the way. If your original plans don't align with your budget, be open to re-evaluating and making compromises. You may need to cut down the guest list, choose a less expensive venue, or opt for more affordable options in certain areas. Prioritize the must-haves and be prepared to let go of the nice-to-haves if needed.

Track Your Spending

Stay organized by using a spreadsheet or a budget app to track your wedding expenses. Open a dedicated savings or checking account specifically for wedding-related costs. Ask vendors for all taxes and fees upfront, and include vendor tips in your budget from the beginning. This will help you stay on top of your spending and ensure you don't exceed your allocated funds.

Creating an honest and detailed budget for your wedding can be a challenging but crucial step in the planning process. By following these tips, you can set realistic expectations and make informed decisions about your special day. Remember that your budget is a tool to guide you, and it's okay to make adjustments as needed to create the wedding of your dreams.

Frequently asked questions